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1. The Lesbian and Gay Parenting
$8.95 $6.10
2. ABC A Family Alphabet Book
$9.75 $6.92 list($13.00)
3. Now That You Know: A Parents'
$8.21 $7.33 list($10.95)
4. Heather Has Two Mommies
$10.88 $10.71 list($16.00)
5. Molly's Family
$9.71 $8.55 list($12.95)
6. A Donor Insemination Guide: Written
$11.20 $3.58 list($14.00)
7. Always My Child: A Parent's Guide
$16.47 $15.34 list($24.95)
8. Families Like Mine: Children of
$10.50 $5.73 list($14.00)
9. Love, Ellen : A Mother/Daughter
$12.71 $10.95 list($14.95)
10. A Departure from the Script
$10.17 $10.01 list($14.95)
11. Straight Parents, Gay Children:
$14.95 $9.18
12. Selected Poems: 1965-1990
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13. My Child Is Gay: How Parents React
$9.71 $8.52 list($12.95)
14. How It Feels to Have a Gay or
list($12.00)
15. The Lost Language of Cranes
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16. Families of Value: Personal Profiles
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17. From the Notebooks of Melanin
$34.00 list($40.00)
18. And Then There Was Me
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19. Waiting in the Wings: Portrait
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20. The Ultimate Guide to Pregnancy

1. The Lesbian and Gay Parenting Handbook: Creating and Raising Our Families
by April, Ph.D. Martin
list price: $17.00
(price subject to change: see help)
Asin: 0060969296
Catlog: Book (1993-05-01)
Publisher: Perennial
Sales Rank: 267893
Average Customer Review: 4.6 out of 5 stars
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Amazon.com

In the past, most children of gay or lesbian parents were born into heterosexual families that later broke up. Today, more and more lesbian and gay couples are making the decision to have and raise families together.The Lesbian and Gay Parenting Handbook by April Martin is an indispensable resource for lesbians and gay men who are thinking about, or involved in, parenting. Martin, a psychologist and lesbian parent of two children, has compiled advice and information from almost 60 families and has drawn on herown experience. She touches on every aspect of gay and lesbian parenting, and where she doesn't go into depth, she refers readers to further resources.

The Lesbian and Gay Parenting Handbook covers a vast array of subjects about creating a family,from decision-making to alternative insemination to surrogacy. It includes details on adoption, gay men making babies, coparenting, and legal issues. Martin discusses family roles, dealing with antihomosexual bias, dealing with family crises, and how to handle issues children may have about growing up with gay or lesbian parents. This book should be an essential component of every gay or lesbian parent's--or parent-to-be's--library. ... Read more

Reviews (5)

4-0 out of 5 stars Brilliant and helpful
A wonderful and enlightening book, bringing some sense of normalcy to a perfectly normal topic. Effective parenting is about love, after all, and not about the sexual plumbing of the persons doing the parenting. I only wish that the authors had gathered a more comprehensive list of educational resources to help us present a balanced view of the world, and of history, to our kids. ...But overall, a splendid book!

4-0 out of 5 stars Overall, a great book!
This book was informative and an easy read. As a lesbian parent of a small child,I was really looking for a book on lesbian parenting. This book includes a great deal about becoming a parent so I would recommend this book to gay or lesbian folks who are thinking about becoming parents as the chapters on adoption, co-parenting, donor insemination, etc. were well written and seemed to cover just about every aspect that goes into the decision to be a parent and how to become one. Even though only 1/2 of the book covered actual parenting and some of it included the authors heartbreaking personal experiences, I found the information to be very helpful to me as a lesbian parent.

5-0 out of 5 stars Excellent resource for gay guys considering parenthood.
A great way to start the process on becoming a gay parent (there aren't many books/resources out there for gay guys considering parenting). I found the sections on the different ways to become a parent (international adoption, local open adoptions, birth parents, etc.) to be a very helpful starting point. The stories from friends of the author really helped me and my partner through the concerns and jitters we had. I was especially grateful for the chapters on dealing with parents and others when letting them in on the news.

5-0 out of 5 stars Jon and Michael Galluccio 5 Star Rating!
We highly recommend this book to *Every* Gay and Lesbian Parent out there

5-0 out of 5 stars A wonderful book; don't miss it.
For lesbians and gay men who are considering parenthood, this is the single best book to read. The author is a psychologist and a lesbian parent who relates her own story as well as those of many different people she interviewed in the lesbian and gay community. The book neither whitewashes the struggles nor overlooks the joys of lesbian/gay parenting in the U.S. today. It provides much good information, many useful tips, and lots of good laughs. Highly recommended. ... Read more


2. ABC A Family Alphabet Book
by Bobbie Combs, Desiree Keane, Brian Rappa
list price: $8.95
our price: $8.95
(price subject to change: see help)
Asin: 0967446813
Catlog: Book (2001-02-01)
Publisher: Two Lives Pub
Sales Rank: 49558
Average Customer Review: 4.8 out of 5 stars
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Book Description

It's family fun from A to Z in this alphabet book that shows kids and their parents laughing, playing and enjoying family life.All of the brilliant watercolors depict families headed by gays and lesbians."C is for cookies.Both of my dads know how to make great chocolate chip cookies.""L is for lunch.We always pack a picnic lunch when my moms take me to the beach." ... Read more

Reviews (5)

4-0 out of 5 stars Refreshing, yet disappointing
I am pleased to see a children's book incorporating LGBT families as characters without presenting LGBT-specific issues as the central topic of the book. Kudos to the authors for choosing to depict a fair amount of racial diversity including interracial families. However, I was disappointed to see a lack of heterosexual couple representation. Heterosexual couples are overrepresented in children's literature generally, so I fear that the lack of representation in books like this contributes to a sense of other-ness: Non-traditional families do exist, but they are so different and separate from the mainstream that they all crowd together in the safety of their own book and are rarely if ever seen interacting with heterosexual families.

5-0 out of 5 stars It's About Time!
It is about time that LGBT families have books that reflect their lives in children's books without being hammered over the head with issues. This is a wonderful book and finally our kids can look at a picture book and see illustrations they can actually relate to.

5-0 out of 5 stars this book is beyond belief!
this book had one problem... to many animal shots. other than that this book really gave me a new out look on life. i've learned that some parts don't have to be hiden. my new found freedom has made me more popular than ever! im making new friends... i spend alot of time with my uncle i never knew! this is GREAT! i recomend this book to anyone who is struggling to find them selves... (my hockey coach recommended this book.. hi mr.Sroman)

5-0 out of 5 stars This Book is WONDERFUL for non-traditional families!
This book is quite groundbreaking, and is excellent in the way it portrays our differences as not-so-different to children. Very thoughtful, well-written - a must have in any child's collection! ABC A Family Alphabet Book, and many more like it, are the focus of our website, www.[...].com, which caters to gay parents and their children.

5-0 out of 5 stars Finally, a book written for our family!!!
We are a two mom family with a 5 year old son and a 16 month old daughter, and we have been waiting a LONG time for books that reflect our family constellation. I have been reading to my son since he was born, and "ABC A Family Alphabet Book" by Bobbie Combs is the first book to accurately, tastefully, creatively and humorously reflect the world of lesbian and gay families. Combs' books (see "123 A Family Counting Book" as well) are well written and beautifully illustrated and depict the every day lives of children who live in non-traditional families. What is wonderful about Combs' work is that the books are about learning to count and learning the alphabet foremost, and the illustrations of lesbian, gay, and multicultural families provide a natural backdrop for this learning. There is no heavy-handed political "message," only quality children's books that are a VERY welcome addition to our family library. I look forward to more works by Combs and by Two Lives Publishing, a company dedicated to producing children's books for alternative families. ... Read more


3. Now That You Know: A Parents' Guide to Understanding Their Gay and Lesbian Children, Updated Edition
by Betty Fairchild, Nancy Hayward
list price: $13.00
our price: $9.75
(price subject to change: see help)
Asin: 0156006057
Catlog: Book (1998-06-01)
Publisher: Harvest/HBJ Book
Sales Rank: 196705
Average Customer Review: 1.25 out of 5 stars
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Amazon.com

If the coming out process is difficult for gay people, it is often equally difficult for their parents.Confusion, anger, and fear frequently cause fathers and mothers of gay men and lesbians to disavow, strike out against, and even resent their children. For many parents, a child's coming out feels like the ultimate rejection--not only of their dreams and hopes but of their own heterosexuality. In Now That You Know: A Parent's Guide to Understanding Their Gay and Lesbian Children, Betty Fairchild and Nancy Hayward--the mothers of, respectively, a gay man and a lesbian--have charted the rough seas that almost every parent of a gay person travels.

Fairchild and Hayward presume that homosexuality is a positive good, and that it is willful ignorance and homophobia that are moral wrongs. They also believe that families can and should love all members and that it is distraught or confused parents (not their gay offspring) who must change. Mixing common sense with a firm sense of social justice and love, the authors systematically address almost all of the problems faced by parents of gay people. Answering questions on religion, AIDS, health, children, alternative families, and sex, they make the complicated gay world--often a nightmare vision for "just out" parents of gays--not only manageable but happy and nurturing. --Michael Bronski ... Read more

Reviews (4)

1-0 out of 5 stars Instead of this book, try....
In my April, 1999 review of this book (somewhere among the reviews listed here), I said there were better books now available. Several people have e-mailed me asking me to be more specific.

OK. I now recommend the following to my students. They are both excellent and different from each other (as the titles imply):

Beyond Acceptance : Parents of Lesbians and Gays Talk About Their Experiences; Carolyn Welch Griffin, et al.

Coming Out to Parents : A Two-Way Survival Guide for Lesbians and Gay Men and Their Parents; Mary V. Borhek

1-0 out of 5 stars This book is sadly out of date.
Upon the recommendation of others, I bought this book; however, many better choices exist for parents dealing with the new knowledge that they have a gay child. This book's information comes from the 70s. Even though the book has been republished twice, the authors have done an inadequate job of keeping up-to-date. I'm sure the book seemed heaven sent in the early 80s, but not now.

2-0 out of 5 stars Disappointingly outdated for such an important book
This was a very important book in 1979 when it was first published, a book that I often recommended to gay/lesbian students who wanted to inform their parents. But the authors have been very lazy and have barely changed it in the 20 years since the first edition. I was disappointed in the second edition (1989) because it was virtually unchanged from the first edition except for an added chapter on AIDS and a minimally revised discussion of the PFLAG (Parents, Families, and Friends of Lesbians and Gays) organization.

The third edition is even worse. Again the first 9 chapters appear to be untouched. Even the AIDS chapter remains unchanged except for a 1 page postscript about "recent" treatments. The chapter is now such a "downer" in the light of recent developments that it will hardly reassure parents worried about their gay sons. Why not rewrite the chapter optimistically, with a warning that the crisis is not over and that safer sex is still a requirement?

Less crucial but still disappointing is that the book is still quoting old Kinsey statistics on the incidence of homosexuality rather than using more reliable data from a recent national survey. The discussion of the nature of homosexuality is still based on sources over 30 years old. Nothing is said about recent data (and controversies) over the biological correlates of sexual orientation. Any parent who has read Time or Newsweek in the past 5 years would know more about these developments than they will find in this book.

Maybe the personal stories of parents will still resonate with some families, mainly those who haven't been exposed to the mass media for 20 years.

The most valuable part of the book may be the updated bibliography. But as long as you are already here at Amazon.com, why not just search here for "related" books? Or go to the pflag website for information, recommendations, and literature: www.pflag.org.

So disappointing. It was such an important book, sympathetically written, and perfectly pitched for its intended audience. Shame on the authors (and their publishers) for such laziness!

1-0 out of 5 stars Too Old For Modern Use
It's obvious that this book was useful back when it was originally written, in the 1970s. But with the changing issues involving gay and lesbian youths in the 1990s, a 1970s approach isn't applicable.

I bought this book as a guide to how to tell my parents. After reading the book for myself, I decided the book would do more harm than good, giving my parents a view about the gay lifestyle as one embodied in the 1970s, not the comfortable, main-stream life I lead today and believe most of my friends do also. ... Read more


4. Heather Has Two Mommies
by Leslea Newman, Diana Souza
list price: $10.95
our price: $8.21
(price subject to change: see help)
Asin: 1555835430
Catlog: Book (2000-06-01)
Publisher: Alyson Publications
Sales Rank: 24887
Average Customer Review: 3.55 out of 5 stars
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Amazon.com

This handsome 10-anniversary edition of a minor classic presents the story of Heather, a preschooler with two moms who discovers that some of her friends have very different sorts of families. Juan, for example, has a mommy and a daddy and a big brother named Carlos. Miriam has a mommy and a baby sister. And Joshua has a mommy, a daddy, and a stepdaddy. Their teacher Molly encourages the children to draw pictures of their families, and reassures them that "each family is special" and that "the most important thing about a family is that all the people in it love each other." In the afterword, the author (whose other children's books include Matzo Ball Moon) explains that although she grew up in a Jewish home, in a Jewish neighborhood, there were no families like hers on the television or in picture books. She came to regard her family as somehow "wrong," since there was no Christmas tree in the living room and no Easter egg hunt. Whatever the religious right may wish to think about nontraditional families, there is no denying that any child enrolled in an American school will encounter friends with single parents, gay parents, stepparents, or adoptive parents. This new, revised version of Heather Has Two Mommies offers an enjoyable, upbeat, age-appropriate introduction to the idea of family diversity. The book is essential for children (ages 2 to 6) with gay parents or family members, and a great addition to a Rainbow Curriculum. --Regina Marler ... Read more

Reviews (22)

4-0 out of 5 stars An Eye Opener
It's really interesting how the author, Leslea Newman portrayed not only homosexuality but the understanding that there are different types of families out there. It clearly teaches acceptance and open-mindness to kids. This is the first book on this topic that I've ever read and I would definitely recommend this book to parents in trying to introduce the concept of awareness to kids in understanding things that they don't think is normal, just because they don't come across it daily. The only thing that I think they could have improved on was using colored pictures instead of black and white, to catch more of the kids attention to the story. Overall, it is a great book, I wish more books like this are publish to minimize stereotypes and promote awareness.

5-0 out of 5 stars Writing from experience
I had this book as a child, and I absolutely loved it. The style of art allowed me to color it in as if it were a coloring book as I read the wonderful story. Heather is a very happy child, and she loves both of her mothers... and they love her too. That's really what's important.

Highly reccomended. I read it again and again... I own it to this day.

1-0 out of 5 stars THE BOOK THAT STARTED IT ALL
This book launched the homosexual literary onslaught. It is one of many publications used by the homosexual lobby to force acceptance of a depraved lifestyle by influencing young, innocent kids. The inherent abnormality of having "two mommies" engaged in romantic liaisons is unexplored here. After all, it's what the homosexual adults want that really counts and the kids welfare is secondary to political correctness. Heather may indeed have two mommies, but five will get you ten that she'd prefer it otherwise.

3-0 out of 5 stars May not reach intended audiences on account of bad graphics.
I appreciate the openess (since kids are much smarter than we give them credit for, the insemination would not upset children) of this book, but the lack of color is tricky in a children's book.

I have read some excellent 'current issue' children's fiction books which succeed in telling their story (and inspiring creative thinking) without using color (Days with Daddy) but the lines in those stories were well-defined. The hazy presentation of this book will ironically make it difficult to talk with kids about so-called alternative families. The most open message in the world becomes cold and inviting if it cannot appeal to the eye of the intended reader.

Plus, if colors convey mood, this same decision may inadvertently suggest the women and Heather are engaged in something secretive and not as valid when compared against the activities of status quo idealized heterosexual families. Ms. Newman may have completely different politics, but she seems to echo the far right's endless admonitions about sexuality and youth with the layout.

Future editions need to have clear color graphics throughout the text.Art is not benign, but a political statement as important as carefuly crafted text. It is difficult for children to be excited/proud about their families (or the existence of GLBT families) after reading a book which seems gloomy.

5-0 out of 5 stars Wonderful Book
Both my partner and myself fell in love with this book. Our daughter also likes reading this book. She likes it so much that she wanted to give one to her class so that they could "learn" that there are families that don't always have a mom and a dad. ... Read more


5. Molly's Family
by Nancy Garden
list price: $16.00
our price: $10.88
(price subject to change: see help)
Asin: 0374350027
Catlog: Book (2004-04-07)
Publisher: Farrar, Straus and Giroux (BYR)
Sales Rank: 158328
Average Customer Review: 3.67 out of 5 stars
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Book Description

What makes a family?

The members of Ms. Marston's kindergarten class are cleaning and decorating their room for the upcoming Open School Night. Molly and Tommy work on drawing pictures to put on the walls. Molly draws her family: Mommy, Mama Lu, and her puppy, Sam. But when Tommy looks at her picture, he tells her it's not of a family. "You can't have a mommy and a mama," he says. Molly doesn't know what to think; no one else in her class has two mothers. She isn't sure she wants her picture to be on the wall for Open School Night.

Molly's dilemma, sensitively explored in words and art, shows readers that even if a family is different from others, it can still be happy, loving, and real.
... Read more

Reviews (3)

1-0 out of 5 stars Why are two Moms always a problem?
Why are two Moms always presented as a problem? I have an 11 year old son and a 6 year old daughter. In Kindergarten neither of them even had the concept that having two Moms was bad or that one or the other of us was or was not their real Mom. I sure don't want to introduce those ideas thru a childrens book. Sure, kids have asked how you can have two Moms or do you have a Dad? But they are not so mean about it as presented in this book. Even though it all turns out well in the end, I wouldn't want to read the first half of the book to my daughter. It's time for a book for kids where there are two Moms, but that fact is just incidental to the story -- not the problem to be dealt with.

5-0 out of 5 stars True to life story for a two mom family
I bought this because my daughter will be in Kindergarten this Fall. She has already been in preschool for a year and a half, but Kindergarten will bring new friends at a new school. This story of an Open House and introducing new friends to a two mom family is very realistic and ultimately reassuring. She enjoys hearing the story and I enjoy reading it to her. I think it's a valuable addition for any two mom family or for anyone wishing to share family diversity issues with their kids.

5-0 out of 5 stars An Excellent Family Book
I was fortunate enough to sneak a peak at an advance review copy of "Molly's Family". Again, Nancy Garden has created another essential piece for children's literature that teaches its readers that all families of all types should be celebrated.

Molly's kindergarten class is preparing for Open School Night and decide to decorate their classroom for the visiting parents. Molly's contribution is a picture of her family, which includes Mommy, Mama Lu and her puppy, Sam. This, of course, is greeted by speculation from some of the other children in her class, who tell her that families cannot have two mothers. This crushes Molly and she is embarrassed to display her picture with the other children's art. One of the greatest parts of this book is that not only does Molly's two mothers explain to her that family's are based on love and commitment, but even her teacher takes time to explain to her students that families are different. The other children respond well to this and began describing their own families, each comparing the differences openly and proudly.

The presentation of this book is fantastic - the art is playful and colorful, very appealing to the target audience but also enjoyable for the mature reader. Molly is simply adorable and her facial expressions are captured beautifully. But its the simplicity and the gentle nature of the storytelling that makes "Molly's Family" so inspirational. Children who are read this book will come away with an important lesson: that all families are families as long as they are based on love. Bless your heart, Nancy Garden! ... Read more


6. A Donor Insemination Guide: Written by and for Lesbian Women
by Marie Mohler, Lacy Frazer
list price: $12.95
our price: $9.71
(price subject to change: see help)
Asin: 1560232277
Catlog: Book (2002-01-29)
Publisher: Haworth Press
Sales Rank: 119539
Average Customer Review: 3 out of 5 stars
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Reviews (1)

3-0 out of 5 stars Ok, but a tad melodramatic
This was the first pregnancy book I read. Frankly, I found it a bit scary. The authors clearly had a very hard time with conception and with their small-town North Carolina doctors. That seems to have made them a tad fanatical about moms-to-be doing *everything* "right" or they'll never have a child. And I'm not sure the authros' (expectation and) experience of homophobia is particularly informative for those of us in more progressive settings. I very much appreciate the info. I got from the book; now I just have to try not to worry. ... Read more


7. Always My Child: A Parent's Guide to Understanding Your Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, Transgendered or Questioning Son or Daughter
by Kevin Jennings, Pat Shapiro
list price: $14.00
our price: $11.20
(price subject to change: see help)
Asin: 0743226496
Catlog: Book (2002-08-15)
Publisher: Fireside
Sales Rank: 166258
Average Customer Review: 5 out of 5 stars
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Book Description

The first book to focus on the day-to-day experiences of adolescents dealing with sexual identity issues, Always My Child provides the insights and practical strategies parents need to support their kids and cope themselves.


Parents whose children are gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender or who are going through a "questioning phase" are often in the dark about what their children face every day. As a result, offering support that will comfort and fortify them feels like solving a puzzle with missing pieces.

In Always My Child, Kevin Jennings supplies the missing pieces by guiding parents through the world their child inhabits. He explains what these teens often encounter -- teasing and harassment -- and offers solutions for parents who want to better understand their LGBTQ children and learn how to protect their self-esteem. He offers advice, including how to:


  • Initiate constructive communication with their child
  • Respond effectively to frequently asked questions
  • Recognize depression and signs of drug abuse and harassment
  • Successfully advocate for their child's well-being outside the home


    Always My Child makes it possible for parents to create the kind of relationship with their children that allows them to grow into emotionally healthy adults. ... Read more

    Reviews (2)

    5-0 out of 5 stars An outstanding resource
    This amazing guide will help parents navigate the challenges of connecting with a GLBTQ child and becoming an integral and supportive part of that child's life. With chapters on school harassment, drug abuse, and depression, this book also addresses the negative and sometimes self-destructive behaviors of our youth, but gives hope and tools to help heal these wounds. "Always My Child" is especially notable for its chapters on transgender issues and multicultural issues that previous guides didn't include. I was also excited about the chapter on youth questioning their sexuality (straight and gay and in-between), and how parents can be supportive in that as well, because this isn't something many acknowledge. Jennings and Shapiro have created a marvelous resource that will help not only parents, but anyone interested in helping our youth, both queer and nongay, create positive lives.

    5-0 out of 5 stars Always My Child: A Great Resource
    Always My Child is an incredible book and one that any parent should read not just parents of GLBTQ children. Kevin Jennings provides practical advice to parents in a readable format. He helps parents understand their children without being preachy. A parent could use this book as a resource for how to talk with her child and keep lines of communication open. Teachers and school counselors should read this book and make it available to parents and others. Not only is this book a great read, it is a great resource. ... Read more


  • 8. Families Like Mine: Children of Gay Parents Tell It Like It Is
    by Abigail Garner
    list price: $24.95
    our price: $16.47
    (price subject to change: see help)
    Asin: 0060527579
    Catlog: Book (2004-03)
    Publisher: HarperCollins
    Sales Rank: 174381
    Average Customer Review: 5 out of 5 stars
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    Book Description

    What is it really like to grow up with gay parents?

    Abigail Garner was five years old when her mother and father divorced and her dad came out as gay. Growing up immersed in gay culture, she now calls herself a "culturally queer" heterosexual woman. As a child, she often found herself in the middle of the political and moral debates surrounding lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender (LGBT) parenting. At the age of twenty-two, she began to speak publicly about her family and has since become a nationally recognized advocate for the estimated 10 million children growing up with LGBT parents. The creator of FamiliesLikeMine.com, Garner has written a deeply personal and much-needed book about gay parenting, from the seldom-heard perspective of grown children raised in these families.

    Based on eight years of activism, combined with interviews with more than fifty sons and daughters, Families Like Mine debunks the anti-gay myth that these children grow up damaged and confused. At the same time, Garner's book refutes the popular pro-gay sentiment that these children turn out "just like everyone else." In addition to the typical stresses of growing up, the unique pressures these children face are not due to their parents' sexuality, but rather to homophobia and prejudice. Using a rich blend of journalism and memoir, Garner offers empathetic yet unapologetic opinions about the gifts and challenges of being raised in families that are often labeled "controversial."

    As more LGBT people are pursuing parenthood and as the visibility of gay parenting is rapidly increasing, many of the questions about these families focus on the "best interests" of their children. Eloquent and sophisticated, Families Like Mine addresses these questions, providing an invaluable insider's perspective for LGBT parents, their families, and their allies.

    ... Read more

    Reviews (5)

    5-0 out of 5 stars Terrific, Sensitive, and Well-Written--couldn't put it down!
    After eight years of experience with community organizing and activism on behalf of LGBT families, Abigail Garner has written a book about kids with gay parents. FAMILIES LIKE MINE is full of heart and hope-but even more importantly, it's full of truths. Because of her own experience as a child with two gay dads, she speaks from a well-qualified vantage point. She says she is "culturally queer" but heterosexual, and with that perspective, she comes at the topic from a unique and fascinating angle.

    Using extensive research and interviews with some five dozen youths, Garner discusses many topics including: adult parents coming out in the family; family changes, particularly divorces and same-sex break-ups; how kids with LGBT parents handle school; the concept of "straight family privilege"; the impact of HIV/AIDS; straight kids in queer culture; and kids of LGBT parents who don't grow up to be straight. She doesn't shy away from tough questions, and she doesn't believe that kids with gay parents grow up exactly like everyone else. But it is clear that she is championing a little-heard truth: that kids with LGBT parents don't reach adulthood any more wounded or messed up than other kids from straight homes. In fact, many such children grow up more open-minded and tolerant than their peers, though they often have to face a great deal more antagonism and prejudice than is fair.

    Weaving into the book her own fears and experiences, Garner is able to clearly delineate many of the problems that members of a non-traditional family encounter. For instance, once when her biological father was out of town, Garner's other dad, Russ, fell ill and was rushed to the ER. Most of us take for granted that as legal members of the immediate family, we'd get to visit our parent in the hospital and would be entitled to medical information. Garner was lucky because no one asked questions when she claimed to be Russ's daughter. But under the rules of most hospitals, if she had been challenged, she could have been barred from his room. She is correct when she writes, "What are labeled as special rights are not special at all; they are human rights that are currently being denied to LGBT citizens" (p. 127). A right as simple as visiting a sick member of the family ought not be denied, but it does happen.

    I found this book to be tremendously readable and could not put it down. The contributions from the interviewees and the author's personal story were fascinating. Garner's ability to synthesize and explore this topic in such an accessible way is ground-breaking. By the end, when Garner writes, "Children of LGBT parents, however, are thriving in this world of possibilities" (p. 228), I found myself hoping that this would continue to be true and that our society would become more accepting, more knowledgeable, and with many more resources for "alternative" families.

    This is a book that belongs in all libraries and should be read by school administrators, teachers, social workers, legislators, and parents (whether they are gay or not). If people would listen to Garner's message, the world would be a better place for all kids, whether their parents are gay or straight. ~Lori L. Lake, author of Stepping Out, Different Dress, Gun Shy, Under The Gun, and Ricochet In Time, and reviewer for Midwest Book Review, Golden Crown Literary Society's The Crown, The Independent Gay Writer, The Gay Read, and Just About Write.

    5-0 out of 5 stars you NEED to read this book
    If you're even browsing at this title, chances are, you need to read this book. It is the first book I have ever seen that addresses the needs and realities of people who have gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgender parents. If that is you, buy this book. If you're a queer parent or prospective parent, buy this book. As the daughter of a bisexual woman who spent most of my childhood in a same-sex relationship, I had so many AHA! moments, and was impressed at how Garner articulates what I've felt for so many years but been unable to put into words.

    5-0 out of 5 stars A must raed!
    As a gay father, I thought I knew it all, or at least read it all. This book was not just insightful and educating about what to expect when our kids grow older, but also introduced me to a new and forceful political way of thinking: don't subject your kids to scrutiny or expect them to be "normal" in every way, just to prove that gays have the right to become parents. They are growing in a different environment, and it is to be expected that their understanding of gender roles and sexuality will be different. Furthermore, there is a good chance that they will become generally more open minded than most people.

    This book deals with kids who are a generation or two older than our kids, and the author is indeed optimistic that the world is becoming much more accepting (thanks in part to books like this one!). Nevertheless, I learned a lot and found this book very relevant and most interesting. I am sure I will get back to it and read some chapters again when our kids become teenagers. It is very well written and will be interesting to people of various backgrounds and points of view.

    5-0 out of 5 stars Authoritative, readable, should be in every library
    This book is written by the very soft-spoken but brilliant daughter of a gay parent, who has interviewed many other young adults who were raised by gay parents. It sheds an enormous amount of light on the subject.

    It is appropriate for use by students doing research papers on the topic of gay parenting or gay marriage, and it is essential reading for all school administrators in America - ALL of whom are now dealing with students who have hay parents. School administrators, neighbors, family members, and friends of children raised by gay parents are desperate for a resource which clarifies questions in their minds. This is the source for such persons. Very highly recommended.

    5-0 out of 5 stars Truly "Tells It Like It Is"
    In our increasingly black-or-white, good-or-bad world view, it's refreshing to read a book that celebrates the inherent complexity in human relationships. Abigail Garner has moved beyond the stereotypes of LGBT parents to frankly discuss issues from vocabulary to AIDS, and she does it with an honesty that's invigorating, sure to inspire discussion and debate for a long time to come. This book is crucial not only for LGBT parents and their children, but for all of their teachers, doctors, lawyers, families, and friends. ... Read more


    9. Love, Ellen : A Mother/Daughter Journey
    by Betty Degeneres
    list price: $14.00
    our price: $10.50
    (price subject to change: see help)
    Asin: 0688176887
    Catlog: Book (2000-05-01)
    Publisher: Perennial Currents
    Sales Rank: 25530
    Average Customer Review: 4.65 out of 5 stars
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    Book Description

    "Mom, I'm gay." With three little words, gay sons and daughters can change their parents' lives forever. Twenty years ago, during a walk on a Mississippi beach, Ellen DeGeneres spoke those simple, powerful words to her mother. That emotional moment eventually brought mother and daughter closer than ever, but it was not without a struggle. In Love, Ellen, Betty DeGeneres tells her story: the complicated path to acceptance and the deepening of her friendship with her daughter, the media's scrutiny of their family life, and the painful and often inspiring stories she's heard on the road as the first nongay spokesperson for the Human Rights Campaign's National Coming Out Project.

    Insightful, universally touching, and uncommonly wise, Love, Ellen is a story of friendship between mother and daughter and a lesson in understanding for all parents and their children.

    "Mom, I'm gay." With three little words, gay children can change their parents' lives forever. Yet at the same times it's a chance for those parents to realize nothing, really, has changed at all; same kid, same life, same bond of enduring love.

    Twenty years ago, during a walk on a Mississippi beach, Ellen DeGeneres spoke those simple, powerful words to her mother. That emotional moment eventually brought mother and daughter closer than ever, but not without a struggle. Coming from a republican family with conservative values, Betty needed time and education to understand her daughter's homosexuality -- but her ultimate acceptance would set the stage for a far more public coming out, one that would change history.

    In Love, Ellen, Betty DeGeneres tells her story; the complicated path to acceptance and the deepening of her friendship with her daughter; the media's scrutiny of their family life; the painful and often inspiring stories she's heard on the road as the first non-gay spokesperson for the Human Rights Campaigns National Coming Out Project.

    With a mother's love, clear minded common sense, and hard won wisdom, Betty DeGeneres offers up her own very personal memoir to help parents understand their gay children, and to help sons and daughters who have been rejected by their families feel less alone."Mom, I'm gay." With three little words, gay children can change their parents' lives forever. Yet at the same times it's a chance for those parents to realize nothing, really, has changed at all; same kid, same life, same bond of enduring love.

    Twenty years ago, during a walk on a Mississippi beach, Ellen DeGeneres spoke those simple, powerful words to her mother. That emotional moment eventually brought mother and daughter closer than ever, but not without a struggle. Coming from a republican family with conservative values, Betty needed time and education to understand her daughter's homosexuality -- but her ultimate acceptance would set the stage for a far more public coming out, one that would change history.

    In Love, Ellen, Betty DeGeneres tells her story; the complicated path to acceptance and the deepening of her friendship with her daughter; the media's scrutiny of their family life; the painful and often inspiring stories she's heard on the road as the first non-gay spokesperson for the Human Rights Campaigns National Coming Out Project.

    With a mother's love, clear minded common sense, and hard won wisdom, Betty DeGeneres offers up her own very personal memoir to help parents understand their gay children, and to help sons and daughters who have been rejected by their families feel less alone. ... Read more

    Reviews (23)

    5-0 out of 5 stars Reassuring, uplifting thoughts from a mother who "knows"
    As a recently "out" daughter I bought this book to understand what my family members are going through. Betty Degeneres is an inspiring role model for anyone concerned about tolerance in today's world. She delivers a message that many parents should be relieved to hear. Her love for her daughter is palpable, and expressed in a way that all parents of all children can relate to. A wonderful book for everyone. Bravo, Betty!

    5-0 out of 5 stars Acceptance Means Everything!
    As a devoted fan of the Ellen show in the past, I loved this book for all of it's depth and meaning. Betty Degeneres tells of how it was first hard for her to accept Ellen as being gay, and then having to find a way to acceptance.

    Betty DeGeneres tells in the book, about the media's scrutiny of their family life, and other stories which are inspiring, that she's heard on the road as the first nongay spokesperson for the Human Rights Campaign.

    It is also quite a story about their own family life. A very good read for anyone concerned about their child's sexual orientation, the coming out process, and reaching love and accptance.

    5-0 out of 5 stars A Mother's Love
    Motherhood challenges all of us. It can be the most frustrating, exhilirating, terrifying and powerful experience any woman can undergo. Betty DeGenerous brings her experience of sharing the journey of her daughter, Ellen, to new heights with her positive, uplifting style. Regardless of the challenges we meet along the way, all mothers can learn from the humility, courage and openness of Betty DeGeneres to take what is given to us in this life and make the most of it. All relationships are hard work, and all are learning experiences. Betty Degeneres teaches well what she has learned. May we all learn so much from our children, and be so blessed.

    5-0 out of 5 stars Betty, please....
    Betty, thanks for your inspiring book...I am still trying to convince my best friend to give it to her mom. If anything can save that woman, it's you and your message.

    5-0 out of 5 stars Go Betty
    This is a powerful book about women. Focusing on Ellen's coming out, Betty DeGeneres gives her autobiography in a wonderful writing style. This is the memoir of a mother (twice over), woman, accidental spokesperson, cancer survivor, and supporter of gay rights. Betty is a strong woman, but as this book shows it took her many years to get where she is today. This book promotes acceptance, love, and understanding. I recommend it to both those who are coming out and to parents with gay children. ... Read more


    10. A Departure from the Script
    by Rochelle Hollander Schwab
    list price: $14.95
    our price: $12.71
    (price subject to change: see help)
    Asin: 0964365014
    Catlog: Book (2002-04-01)
    Publisher: Orlando Place Press
    Sales Rank: 122031
    Average Customer Review: 4.93 out of 5 stars
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    Book Description

    Sheila Katz, the irrepressible main character of A Departure from the Script, is a Jewish mother who helps her lesbian daughter plan a traditional Jewish lesbian wedding. What's more, she's doing it behind her husband's back! And if that isn't enough tsuris -- Yiddish for aggravation -- for one person, then what is she to make of her own new infatuation with a striking lesbian artist? Read the book and find out! ... Read more

    Reviews (14)

    5-0 out of 5 stars Love and marriage -- but with a twist!
    This novel is about the ups and downs that Sheila, a loving wife and good Jewish mother, experiences as she helps her daughter, Jenny, plan her wedding. Only one little thing keeps this from being the wonderful affair that Sheila has dreamed of all her life -- Jenny is marrying another woman. Schwab has written an incredibly funny yet sensitive book that explores some of the issues and feelings that loving parents experience when an adult child comes out. Sheila is an unforgettable character who struggles mightily to hide her own ambivalence about Jenny's sexuality and wedding plans, while running interference between Jenny and less supportive members of the family (including her husband Dan).

    Through a budding friendship with a lesbian artist she meets through PFLAG (a support group for parents of gay men and lesbians), Sheila eventually achieves peace with herself and her complicated family situation. She also realizes a hard lesson - that everyone else's happiness isn't her responsibility.

    A wonderful read, Schwab's characters and their relationshiops are complex and portrayed with an unfailing eye for truth. Although flawed, these are well-meaning people who do their best to be loving even if often acting at cross-purposes. In the end, Schwab deftly pulls together many different plot threads to provide us with a satisfying and believable resolution. At the end of the book, I wanted to shake the author's hand and give her a hearty "Mazel Tov!"

    4-0 out of 5 stars Timely and Fascinating Story with No Easy Answers
    Using amusing, often unexpected humor, Rochelle Hollander Schwab's latest is a delightful novel about family, marriage, and the process of growing comfortable with all shades of the rainbow. Jewish mother/wife/amateur actress Sheila Katz, married for over thirty years, is stunned from complacency when she learns her daughter Jenny is getting married to a woman named Tamara. Dan, her husband, doesn't take the news well and thinks that given time, Jenny will pass through the phase. He's already suffered enough criticism because his son married a Catholic girl-and converted!-and he refuses to acknowledge his daughter's sexual orientation. This pushes Sheila and Dan's marriage to the edge and contributes to the uproar over Jenny's lifestyle.

    Sheila is a survivor, though, and she definitely does not want to lose her daughter, so she chooses the "if you can't beat 'em, join 'em" tactic. She starts attending PFLAG meetings, works at readjusting her thinking, and helps to plan the Jewish wedding ceremony behind Dan's back. Little does she know that meeting an attractive lesbian artist will have such an affect her. If her life wasn't turned upside down before, it truly is now.

    The story of how Sheila and the Katz family deals with this very topical issue is engrossing, endearing, and entertaining, while also sometimes sobering. Schwab uses a smooth and highly readable style to write a novel for the new millennium. With the legalization of marriage in Canada in 2003 and the ongoing social arguments about fair treatment of gays and lesbians, including marriage, this book is timely and fascinating. It's a book all parents-and non-parents-should read. In Schwab's skillful and sensitive hands, A DEPARTURE FROM THE SCRIPT is funny and true to life, but poses no easy answers. Highly recommended. ~Lori L. Lake, book reviewer for Midwest Book Review, The Independent Gay Writer, Just About Write, and TheGayRead.com.

    5-0 out of 5 stars A love story
    . In many ways I AM Sheila Katz (especially on the weight) and I know everyone else (same people, different names and faces.) Some of the remarks Dan made at the beginning were so like my husband's that I would have thought you were quoting him. I am also active in PFLAG. Your explanation of Jewish customs are great. It was a very enjoyable book.

    5-0 out of 5 stars Touching and Funny
    What's a Jewish mother to do when the dream wedding she's always envisioned for her daughter turns out--lesbian?

    This book is wickedly funny and oh-so-poignant. Buy it. (And eat a little while you read it--what, you want to wither away from malnutrition? :*)

    5-0 out of 5 stars heartwarming and sensitive
    A Jewish "Joy Luck Club" - heartwarming, sensitive & funny. Rochelle Hollander Schwab weaves an intricate story of the bond between husband & wife, parent & daughter, and our relationship with society. This story tugs at your heart, is a refreshing look at love and commitment. ... Read more


    11. Straight Parents, Gay Children: Keeping Families Together
    by Robert A. Bernstein
    list price: $14.95
    our price: $10.17
    (price subject to change: see help)
    Asin: 1560254521
    Catlog: Book (2003-07-01)
    Publisher: Thunder's Mouth Press
    Sales Rank: 89987
    Average Customer Review: 4.4 out of 5 stars
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    Book Description

    Straight Parents, Gay Children is Robert Bernstein’s moving account of how he came to terms with his daughter’s homosexuality and how the experience has enriched his life. Bernstein -- winner of the 1996 Award for Best Scholarship on the Subject of Intolerance, awarded by the Gustaves Myers Center for the Study of Human Rights in North America -- discusses the myths surrounding homosexuality, accepting the news, parents who speak out, public figures who have gay children, and more. Straight Parents, Gay Children is a survival guide for all parents who wish to help their gay children cope with the inevitable cruelty from which they cannot hide. This revised and updated edition includes an introduction by Robert MacNeil of MacNeil/Lehrer Productions and a foreword by Candace Gingrich, author of The Accidental Activist. ... Read more

    Reviews (10)

    5-0 out of 5 stars Must read for parents of gay children
    This book is a great source of "how to" for parents when they find out that their children are gay. The author details a number of different situations of inter-family conflict and resolution

    3-0 out of 5 stars Good for parents!
    I just finishing reading this book. It was a good read but it is more or less for parents to read. Don't get me wrong, I learned some things: what parents go through, some things on society, history of p-flag, and such but it was not all that I hoped this book would be.
    The author uses lots of high profile people as examples in this book so it was hard for someone like me to figure out just where I stand in life. As it will probably be for parents to place their child among these people who are exampled.

    Most of the themes in this book are more adult rather than young teens to young adult.
    It is a good attempt to give an overview of the "gay" world but it was not what I expected.

    I would recomend this book for parents of gay children who want to learn more about the life style, history, p-flag, ect.
    But not to learn about their children. The only way to do that is to ask them yourself.

    3-0 out of 5 stars Great for parents who want enlightenment
    And that's the problem with this book, if it's not read within its parameters. Robert A. Bernstein, inspired to write his book after his teenage daughter came out as a lesbian, has some wonderful examples of parental support of gay, lesbian, bi and transgendered children, and support for parents is the reason for the book. And the history of the parental group (P-FLAG) of such children is intriguing and informative. Certainly, just as gay and lesbian children need the support of their families, so their parents need their unique support systems. Unfortunately, parents who reject not only their childrens' "alternate" lifestyles but their children in whole, aren't likely to read Bernstein's book simply because they probably don't want to understand what they disdain for whatever reason. The real-life parent-child relationships posited here are wonderful, and it would be truly magnificent if all parent-child relationships could be as they are here. Additionally, the children in this book are older, not necessarily pre- and teenagers, thus exluding the parents of these age-specific issues. Further, many of the children cited here are usually on track toward personal and professional fulfillment, quite likely partly because of their parents' support. Unfortunately, a great many others, if not more, have either been fully abandoned by their parents and family or, if they haven't, don't have what could qualify as anything nearing a healthy relationship with their parents. By its title, Bernstein's novel is directed toward parents, and certainly they need support just as much as their children. But to conclude that all gay and lesbian children have their families' unconditional love and support would be a tragic mistake. Unfortunately, all too many parents, presumably affected by the fears and prejudices of homophobia, will likely never accept their childrens' alternative choices and will never have a need for a book like this. But for those parents who do, Bernstein's work is a wonderful beginning toward understanding.

    3-0 out of 5 stars Many good stories
    Robert Bernstein's account of the development of P-Flag is emtional and inspiring. His book helps parents of gay children to learn about what gay means and how to accept their children. One flaw in this book is that all the examples he uses are men and women who have achieved high status as pretty much defined by society. Most of them are in "marriages", long-term relationships. All of this makes them look "just like" straight people. This position is only one of many taken by gay people and gay organizations. I wondered as I read this book where I fit in. None of those gay people were like me and I did not share many of their views. So where does that put gay people like myself in Bernstein's perspective? The book seems to whitewash much of the gay world. Bernstein does not seem to be in touch with the youth programs. As a volunteer in one of those programs, I can tesitfy that none of the teens in our project reflect the kind of gay people he described. That criticism aside, Bernstein's book attempts to fight bigotry and help straight parents climb the mountain, as one parent put it to dealing with their own issues and reaching out to their children in love.

    5-0 out of 5 stars Important help for "new" parents
    Our son came out at age 18. When I worked up the courage, 4 months later, to attend my first PFLAG meeting (Parents, Family and Friends of Lesbians and Gays), the support of people who have already been there was wonderful. This was the first book they recommended, and it made a huge difference in my ability to bring order to my thoughts (and my conflicted heart), and not just to accept but to embrace my son's courage and honesty. The book deals compassionately with parents' fears regarding potential violence to our children and the tragedy of AIDS and social prejudice. More importantly, it inspires and en-courages parents not just to continue loving our children, which is the easy part, but to become comfortable as advocates for our fine children (who happen to be GLBT) to whatever degree makes sense in our lives. I highly recommend this book. ... Read more


    12. Selected Poems: 1965-1990
    by Marilyn Hacker
    list price: $14.95
    our price: $14.95
    (price subject to change: see help)
    Asin: 0393313492
    Catlog: Book (1994-06-01)
    Publisher: W. W. Norton & Company
    Sales Rank: 83666
    Average Customer Review: 4.5 out of 5 stars
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    Amazon.com

    Marilyn Hacker's dark, complex poetic vision has a strange, often formal, beauty to it. Yet, when she writes in Living in the Moment: "I try to be a woman I could love./ I am probably wrong, asking/ you to stay . . ." one feels a very elemental tension between hope and fear, self-loathing and the need for love. It's a tangled inner life that Hacker is opening up for our inspection, and these are beautiful and brave poems. ... Read more

    Reviews (2)

    4-0 out of 5 stars Hacker is True to Form
    For anyone who believes in the true "craft" of poetry, Marilyn Hacker is a breath of fresh air. Far to the opposite of the spectrum of purely narrative poetry, Hacker's work -- throughout her career -- has demonstrated the true skill a poet can achieve through meter and rhyme.

    Selected Poems 1965-1990 spans five of Hacker's previous collections, including Presentation Piece, Hacker's first collection, which was widely-acclaimed and got her some well-deserved notice in the literary world.

    Hacker's poems are extraordinarily structured, typically following the sestina or villanelle form, usually rhymed, sometimes tossing in a Pantoum or two.

    But Hacker's poems should not be read focusing on the form; rhymes should not distract you from the actual subject matter of the poem. Hacker's works are best read with the natural pauses and inflections that narrative lines receive. Don't let the form distract you. In this aspect, Hacker has truly demonstrated the enormous skill of putting together fantastic contemporary poems within the confines of a rigid classic structure.

    The subject matter Hacker covers in her poems is noteworthy. Hacker writes terribly personal poems and is the first poet I've read who can accurately yet compassionately address the heart-wrenching task of caring for someone (for Hacker, it's her mother) with diabetes.

    Hacker's deeply emotional poems center around the important relationships in her life: her mother, her (ex)husband, her daughter, her lovers. Hacker writes about her male and female lovers with equal passion, but her devotion to her daughter is what really shines through in a great many of her poems.

    As is the problem with rhymed or formal poetry, the true skill comes in making the form invisible. It is difficult to write lines where the rhymed words don't seem forced into place, or where you have to scramble the natural sentence structure to make it "fit." Some of these tricks are apparent in the selections from Hacker's earlier books, but those tricks are not readily apparent in her later works. Hacker's earlier works also have a tendency to reach into non sequitur to fit the rhymes and form.

    Overall, I admire this collection for its showcasing of Hacker's passion and skill. It has a great deal of depth and emotion, all while exhibiting the potential of the poetic form in the hands of a fantastic poet.

    5-0 out of 5 stars Truly Deserving of its National Book Award
    Hacker is a master of the sonnet, sestina, and villanelle. I'm always amazed when I arrive at the end of one of her poems and discover that elegant and natural words are arranged in one of these structured ways. Her words and images pull you into the poems and into Hacker's mind. Elegant. Beautiful. ... Read more


    13. My Child Is Gay: How Parents React When They Hear the News
    by Bryce McDougall
    list price: $12.95
    our price: $9.71
    (price subject to change: see help)
    Asin: 1864486589
    Catlog: Book (1998-10-01)
    Publisher: Allen & Unwin Pty., Limited (Australia)
    Sales Rank: 94111
    Average Customer Review: 5 out of 5 stars
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    Reviews (2)

    5-0 out of 5 stars Thank-you, Thank-you
    Thank-you so much for writing this book.This was the first book I read after learning my eighteen year old son is gay. It brought me great comfort to know other parents went through the same kinds of feelings I did. I cried and yes laughed a little with each new story. It was easy to read, like reading someones diary but with their permission. The stories were honest and heartwarming. I am in the process of reading it again. This should be a must read for all newly told parents, their son or daughter is gay. Thank-you.

    5-0 out of 5 stars Hope
    As a gay guy, this book has had a huge impact on me. I am 36 years old, have been with my partner and haven't yet officially told my parents I am gay. This book has made me do a lot of thinking lately. I would dearly love to share truthfully who I am with my family but I am not sure whether it would be too destructive. My mother is 72 and she lost my dad 4 years ago which seemed to take a lot of life from her. Thanks Bryce for getting this book together. It really is one of the best books on this subject that I have read in a long time. ... Read more


    14. How It Feels to Have a Gay or Lesbian Parent: A Book by Kids for Kids of All Ages
    by Judith E. Snow
    list price: $12.95
    our price: $9.71
    (price subject to change: see help)
    Asin: 1560234202
    Catlog: Book (2004-10-01)
    Publisher: Harrington Park Press
    Sales Rank: 83976
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    Book Description

    Sometimes I fantasize about having a magic wand. How awesome it would be to wave it and completely eliminate prejudice, hate, and ignorance. Just imagine what it would be like to live in a world like that.

    How It Feels to Have a Gay or Lesbian Parent: A Book by Kids for Kids of All Ages gives voice to the thoughts, feelings, and experiences of children, adolescents, and young adults who have a gay or lesbian parent. In their own words, they talk openly and candidly about how and when they learned of their parent’s sexual orientation and the effect it had on them—and their families. Their stories echo themes of prejudice and harassment, conflict and confusion, adaptation and adjustment, and hope for tolerance and a family that can exist in harmony.

    "Because it’s an issue for other people, it becomes an issue for me. I’m angry about the way it works against me."

    The stories told in How It Feels to Have a Gay or Lesbian Parent not only reflect the day-to-day struggle of children with a GLBT parent, they also reveal the pain inherent in high-conflict divorce and child custody cases. Children of gay/lesbian parents ranging in age from seven to 31 recall the confusion and grief created when the disclosure of their parent’s true sexual orientation ended a marriage and divided a family. The "straight" parent’s resentment can lead to angry remarks that—intentionally or unintentionally—disparage the gay/lesbian parent and threaten the natural love and affection the child feels for both.

    "I guess the hardest part about having a gay dad is that no matter how okay you are with it, there’s always going to be someone who will dislike you because of it."

    The one-on-one interviews presented in How It Feels to Have a Gay or Lesbian Parent document first-hand the effects of homophobia on family life. Children struggle with the choice between living in a closet, shamed by peers and family members, or dealing with discrimination as a parent’s sexual orientation is used against them. Taken together, these stories make a statement for acceptance, understanding, and tolerance as children do their best to make the transition from a traditional family to a nontraditional lifestyle.

    "My mom is a normal person just like everyone else. The only thing that’s different about her is that she’s gay and if you can’t deal with it, you’re just going to have to live with it."

    How It Feels to Have a Gay or Lesbian Parent: A Book by Kids for Kids of All Ages offers comfort and support to children from those who share their journey. The book is a valuable aid for practitioners working with children of GLBT parents and an educational tool for GLBT adults considering children. ... Read more


    15. The Lost Language of Cranes
    by David Leavitt
    list price: $12.00
    (price subject to change: see help)
    Asin: 0395877334
    Catlog: Book (1997-11-14)
    Publisher: Mariner Books
    Sales Rank: 402002
    Average Customer Review: 4.89 out of 5 stars
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    Book Description

    When Philip falls in love with Eliot, he realizes it's time to come out of the closet to his parents, Owen and Rose. But they are experiencing life changes of their own. Owen spends Sunday afternoons in gay porn theaters, and when he and Rose are forced out of their long-time apartment, they must confront his latent homosexuality and their son's stunning admission. ... Read more

    Reviews (19)

    4-0 out of 5 stars Wonderfully well written characters and story.......
    This book was given to me by a co-worker who believed the subject matter and story would interest me. She was right. There are so many different issues dealt with in this book ranging from the struggle for sexual identity to the struggle of sharing it with you family.....to the ups and downs of living a life that is full of oppression and worry. There are many characters here with many different backgrounds. There is Phillip, the young gay man struggling to win acceptance from his mother. Elliott who fears commitment and leaves Phillip. Owen, Phillip's father who has to come to terms with his own sexual identity after years of marriage and living his life without being true to himself. Then there is Jerene who is basically disowned because of her homosexuality which is so common in this day and age and extremely sad. NO parent should ever do this to their child!!!!! UNCONDITIONAL LOVE is key! Jerene's new girlfriend Laura.....it is just a well written story on all levels.......my only complaint was the ending. There was no real closure. Other than that, I loved it!

    5-0 out of 5 stars Excellent gay literature speaking in a distinct voice
    The Lost Language of Cranes is the only book I have ever read by this author. Still, its evocative style and powerful prose made a lasting impression. The author tells a story of two generations of gay men, a father and son in the same family, both in their own particular closets. The pain these characters suffer is both palpable and moving.

    Most beautiful is the author's use of the allegory of linguistics and feral children, in particular people struggling to develop a language in which they can communicate. The image is poignant and made more powerful with repetition. Each example given is subtly different, yet telling about the life of gay men and lesbian struggling to find a language that they can call their own.

    A wonderful read for any one, gay, straight or otherwise.

    5-0 out of 5 stars Remarkable Novel
    I read this book for a class, and enjoyed it much more than I ever expected, especially in retrospect. I think it takes a little time to really get into, especially because Leavitt jumps back and forth between the three main characters and storylines, but once you get into the rhythm of the story, you are drawn in. Leavitt does a great character study of Owen, Rose, and Philip, and by the end of the novel, I felt like I knew them. Leavitt has an accessible wrting style, but the book itself is very literary and complex. For a first novel, especially, I think it's exceptional.

    5-0 out of 5 stars The Rich Language of Cranes
    Author David Leavit writes a brillant novel that I had a hard time putting down. While Phillip is confronting his changing relationship with his lover, Elliot, his father Owen is finally, confronting his homosexuality. Highly recommended. Each character is richly developed and textured, they feel like real people that you know. While the film is good, it uses London as a backdrop rather than the book's all-to-real-modern-urban life set in New York and in the transistion looses something.

    5-0 out of 5 stars One word "amazing"
    Read this book while its still available! Its language is so simple yet it touches you with a ferocity thats unthinkable!
    I could relate to every charecter and that was the most freaky part!

    The charecters in this book are rich and full of life. The plot is very engaging and what more can one say about a book thats so beautiful it makes you weep with joy!

    Bravo Leavitt and the rest of you read it! ... Read more


    16. Families of Value: Personal Profiles of Pioneering Lesbian and Gay Parents
    by Robert A. Bernstein
    list price: $14.95
    our price: $10.17
    (price subject to change: see help)
    Asin: 1560256389
    Catlog: Book (2005-04-10)
    Publisher: Marlowe and Company
    Sales Rank: 253878
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    Book Description

    From the award-winning author of Straight Parents, Gay Children— engrossing profiles in courage and integrity of the pioneering families who are moving same-sex parenting into the national mainstream

    Families of Value offers a poignant defense of families with same-sex parents. Former attorney and award-winning author Robert Bernstein, tells powerful stories of families with gay and lesbian parents who are at the forefront of social change in America. By turns hard-hitting and affecting, these stories portray the resistance these brave parents have faced, their views of the current cultural climate and, most importantly, the intense passion and dedication that they have demonstrated in the course of raising sound, healthy, and well-adjusted children. ... Read more


    17. From the Notebooks of Melanin Sun
    by Jacqueline Woodson
    list price: $5.99
    (price subject to change: see help)
    Asin: 0590458817
    Catlog: Book (1997-10-01)
    Publisher: Scholastic Paperbacks
    Sales Rank: 388748
    Average Customer Review: 4.22 out of 5 stars
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    Book Description

    Melanin Sun's mother has some big news:she's in love with a woman.Now he has many decisions to make:Should he stand by his mother even though it could mean losing his friends?Should he abandon the only family he's ever known?Either way, Melanin Sun is about to learn the true meaning of sacrifice, prejudice, and love.
    ... Read more

    Reviews (9)

    5-0 out of 5 stars Fantastic
    I read this book in 1997. Unfourtantely, I lost my copy years ago, so I can't make specific references to what I loved about this book. But I did love this book very much. I have put it up there with some of the greatest books I've ever read, such as A Wrinkle In Time and Watership Down. I think Jackie did something really fantastic with this book, and I thank her for the experience.

    5-0 out of 5 stars A good book on a worthy topic
    For as long as thirteen-year-old Melanin Sun can remember, it's been just him and his mom. His father walked off before he was born. His mother never dated much. Usually after just two or three dates with a man she'd lose interest. Melanin Sun was happy with his life and family situation...until his mom discovered the pretty white lawyer named Kristin.

    Melanin Sun was horrified. His mother! His very own mother was a dyke! Did this mean Melanin Sun would grow up gay? Kissing Angie from down the street gave him a rush of butterflies in his stomach, but still. What if his friends found out? He'd be the
    laughingstock of his block.

    Through diary exerpts and straightforward narrative, Melanin Sun bears his soul to the reader with painful clarity. Angry and confused about sex and love and racial issues, he tried to punish his mother by shutting her out of his life and refusing to even talk to Kristin. When his friends found out, one of them did indeed make fun of his mother and it became clear that they would not be friends anymore. However Melanin Sun's other friend accepted the situation, so things were not as bad as he originally thought.

    Over the course of summer, Melanin Sun had to confront many issues he had about racism, sexuality, and tolerance. Shortly before school started he finally began to accept his mother's new lifestyle by accompanying her to the beach with her lover. The winner of the Coretta Scott King award, From the Notebooks of Melanin Sun is a very readable book that treats heavy issues in a gentle way.

    5-0 out of 5 stars One of the best books i've ever red....
    I'm a new reader to Jacquelina Wodson and I already praise her.
    I've started reading a few of her books but this one I enjoy the
    most. It's one of the best books i've ever red. Its about a young boy and his mother who live alone without a father or anything. His farther left and started a new family so the mother and son had to live together with not much money in an appartment. But then he finds out that his mother is a lesbain which is very shocking to him. He has always thought that "dykes" and "fags" ( how he refered to them) were wrong and bad. So in this book he has to learn to except his mother and her girl friend even thou at first he doesnt like it all. This book is really great because not a lot of books are about sexuality. And I think writing about sexuality is very important because I dont think there is a wrong or right way in sexuality like some people do. I think that from reading her books I can speak for Miss Woodson too when I say that people shouldnt be judged as "wrong", "right" or "good" and "bad" when it comes to your sexuality. You cant assume you know everything about a person just becasue of who they love. We all are free to think and feel however we want. And as much as some people disagree with it, no one should have to stop or try and hide how they feel. This is excataly what Jacqueline explains in the notebooks of Melanin Sun and thats why I have gained and whole new respect for her and how open she is and to write books about things like this. So READ THE BOOK, ha ha ha, its the best!

    5-0 out of 5 stars My Thoughts: From the Notebooks of Melanin Sun
    I read this book for my class, Reading and Responding to Children's Literature. I really enjoyed the book, as it is written from a 13 year old boy's point of view. He writes in his 'notebooks'which makes the reader feel as though you are inside his thoughts. The only problem I had with the book was that because I'm in the education program, I don't feel that I could teach the book to children. I think it had some unnecessary parts about the coming of age of a young boy.

    1-0 out of 5 stars A Different Point of View
    This book started with explaining what this boy Melanin Sunwrote in his notebooks about. Basically it explained that he was shyand wrote down whatever he wanted to say when he was too shy to. Inhis notebook he also wrote down pretty much his whole life, or what he could remember of it at least. As the book goes on you follow his thoughts and feelings of his life and begin to feel the fear and sadness and hate along with him. In first part of the book it talks about why his mother named him Melanin Sun. She was young when she had Mel (Melanin) and the father went off and never talked to her or located her again. Mel grew up trying to be a normal kid in a neighborhood of all African Americans. He didn't think much of white people really. He mostly thought they were all rude to blacks. Mel was now thirteen going on fourteen. His mother sees other men and is working to become a lawyer. It's the summer and Mel and his friends, Ralph and Sean, hang out a lot. Mel's crush Angie gave Mel her phone number but he still hasn't called because he's afraid he won't know what to say to her. At this age Mel is very emotional and expresses his feelings about everything so well in his notebook. But his whole life is about to change in one trip home from the beach. His mom EC pulls the car over and says to her son," I'm in love with Kristen." Mel just met Kristen the night before. He didn't like her too much because she was white. Mel was in total shock. He didn't want anyone in his neighborhood to know about this. He was so angry at his mother for ruining his life like this that their close relationship faded quickly. They never talked again for a very long time. Angie finally got the nerve to call Mel instead of her waiting for him. Mel definitely didn't want her to know about his mom. But one night Sean saw Mel's mom and Kristen together not acting like just friend's. Sean blurted it out in front of everyone. Mel and Sean got in a fight and Ralph called Mel after a couple of weeks and said that everyone in town knew. Ralph was cool about it but Sean's mother said he couldn't hang out with Mel anymore. After that I don't know if Angie and Mel ever talked again. Finally Mel and his mom spoke. She told him to give Kristen a chance because Mel hardly knew her. He thought the whole idea of Kristen and his mom was just wrong but he couldn't change EC's mind about it. So the next day Kristen, Mel, and EC went to the beach to try and get to know each other better. It's now up to you to find out whether Mel separates from his mom because of what she's doing, or if he continues to love his mom because she's his mom. ... Read more


    18. And Then There Was Me
    by Gloria Finkbeiner
    list price: $40.00
    our price: $34.00
    (price subject to change: see help)
    Asin: 1930218036
    Catlog: Book (2002-04)
    Publisher: AdoptShoppe Press
    Sales Rank: 599355
    Average Customer Review: 5 out of 5 stars
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    Book Description

    Traditionally styled baby book for single parent and non-traditional families celebrating the birth of a new son or daughter. ... Read more

    Reviews (2)

    5-0 out of 5 stars Great Book for Singles!!
    As a single parent, I wanted to have a baby book for my son, but I didn't want it to have huge gaps when it came to questions about his father. With "And Then There Was Me" I can add or delete whatever information I want. I am able to keep an ongoing chronical of important events in his life up through age 18! I love this book and I think it is the perfect solution for alternative families.

    5-0 out of 5 stars great baby book
    It is a great baby book for non traditional parents. It covered everything I wanted in a baby book and more. I love the fact that you can add more pages. It covers the child until the age of 18. :) ... Read more


    19. Waiting in the Wings: Portrait of a Queer Motherhood
    by Cherrie Moraga
    list price: $10.95
    our price: $8.21
    (price subject to change: see help)
    Asin: 1563410923
    Catlog: Book (1997-10-01)
    Publisher: Firebrand Books
    Sales Rank: 523735
    Average Customer Review: 3.33 out of 5 stars
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    Amazon.com

    At age 40, Chicana writer and activist CherrieMoraga decided she wanted to have a child. Waiting in the Wings comprises diary entries made during her pregnancy and the firstdifficult years of her son's life, as well as retrospective essays onmotherhood, partnership, men and woman, and families. Moraga's writingis a rich, fluid mix of English and Spanish that explores thepersonal, social, and spiritual consequences of lesbianmotherhood. ... Read more

    Reviews (3)

    4-0 out of 5 stars making familia from scratch
    Moraga's text is a thoughtful meditation on the dialectics of biology and social construction of gender, sexuality, and bodies. She offers very personal reflections on how her choice to bear a child disrupts societal expectations for lesbians and how her choice is also shaped by race & culture. Ultimately, she envisions her child and the ghosts of those who have passed on (her Mexican uncle who died of lung cancer as well as gay male friends who died of AIDS) surrounding him as well as those present as part of a larger community of familia and a future generation that is inclusive of racial-ethnic minorities and sexual minorities. Moraga's trajectory as a writer is fascinating to explore--I would recommend reading The Last Generation before this book, and then reading the new sections from Loving in the War Years afterward. I also would suggest keeping an eye out for Yvonne Yarbro-Bejarano's book on Moraga's work, being published by University of Texas Press.

    1-0 out of 5 stars Rather less than luminous
    A voice of dissension! Moraga's Waiting in the Wings is drearily narcissistic, toggling between journal entries and narrative over her newborn's struggle for life as a premature infant. While Moraga's early work (Loving in the War Years) offered a radical and fresh vision of Chicanismo, her later work suffers from dogmatic tendencies. Waiting in the Wings serves as a paean to the importance of the author herself with no greater glory other than Moraga's own narrowly defined boundaries of self. The journal entries are particularly self-indulgent, with the author occasionally indulging in worst kind of eugenic planning as she documents the manner in which she conceived (literally, figuratively, and politically) her child. Less a guide to the meaning of Mexican American family and community than a primer for baby boomer selfishness writ large, in the life of their children. Certainly a must-read for her ouevre, but expect no magical enlightenment. Moraga writes here not from the position of outsider but insider, who can produce drivel and still receive accolades. Tiresome, in the final analysis.

    5-0 out of 5 stars Luminous!
    This is a beautifully written and insightful memoir. Moraga communicates a deep love of self, family and community in this finely crafted volume. I was particularly inspired by the seamless way the recounting of her personal story addressed so many larger political and spiritual issues.(A better case for the honoring of queer famlies could not be made). More than this, however, Moraga is just an exceptionally gifted writer, and this book highlights her luminous talent. One poetic phrase follows another, until the reader is left with one of the most elegant memoirs out there. Read it, and experience a unique glimpse into the heart of her fiercely loving mother's heart. ... Read more


    20. The Ultimate Guide to Pregnancy for Lesbians: Tips and Techniques from Conception to Birth : How to Stay Sane and Care for Yourself
    by Rachel Pepper
    list price: $14.95
    (price subject to change: see help)
    Asin: 1573440809
    Catlog: Book (1999-04-01)
    Publisher: Cleis Press
    Sales Rank: 340222
    Average Customer Review: 5 out of 5 stars
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    Amazon.com

    This lively and readable book provides basic pregnancy and preconception advice for lesbians and their partners. Concentrating on topics of special interest to lesbian families--such as choosing an anonymous donor, drafting agreements with known donors, and defining the nonbiological mother's parenting role--it also suggests how and when to inseminate and walks the reader through a normal full-term pregnancy and delivery. Despite its title, however, the book cannot really substitute for a comprehensive guide to pregnancy along the lines of What to Expect When You're Expecting, and the breezy section on labor will be of little use when you feel mysterious twinges in your 39th week (or your 29th). This would be best as a first book to buy when considering pregnancy, or as an addition to other, more detailed guides. (However, the section on sex during pregnancy does provide lesbian-specific advice unlikely to be found anywhere else.) --Regina Marler ... Read more

    Reviews (12)

    5-0 out of 5 stars Very practical information & an entertaining read
    Excellent book. Very useful information on every page. Other books on the same topic do not get down to the "nitty-gritty" as this book does. The author shares invaluable personal information. It's like having a friend offer advice and support. Very helpful resource list in the back. Also has a good index. Perfect for lesbians trying to become pregnant, but not knowing where or how to begin.

    5-0 out of 5 stars An excellent resource!
    I found this book to be especially helpful during the trying-to-conceive and early pregnancy phases. Once my pregnancy was well underway, I relied more heavily upon other resources for more complete pregnancy info. Nevertheless, this book was absolutely indispensable to me during the emotionally challenging process of selecting a donor, using intrauterine insemination, managing medical issues (infertility, health insurance, etc.), and coping with early setbacks. The numerous quotes from others who have "been there" helped to normalize my feelings and experiences, while the author's matter of fact tone demystified the process and helped me know what to expect next. The tips for staying sane while trying were all relevant and useful. I read this book over and over for comfort when my partner and I felt like the only ones who'd ever felt what we were feeling, and for information about choices others have made under similar circumstances. A truly useful, comforting, practical and essential book for any lesbians trying to conceive. Highly recommended!

    5-0 out of 5 stars excellent resource
    This book helpd my partner and I feel as though we could meet the challenges of lesbian motherhood without losing our minds or our relationship

    5-0 out of 5 stars The ulitimate book on DI - be you gay or straight!!!
    This book is great!!!! It is a sad world we live in when authors believe that only lesbians are having donor insemination. I bought this book becuase I was desparate for information and the one book I found for straight women gave me no information. This title kept popping up, so I bought it. I am currently on chapter 4 and cannot believe how much information I have already learned. I look forward to reading each page. Rachel Pepper writes with a positive tone, uplifting and funny, while being informative. I have a notebook filled with questions and plans. This is the only prepregnancy book you will need.

    5-0 out of 5 stars Worth the money
    This is a wonderful book that gives you all the confidence you need to begin to create a family. Helpfull advice is mixed with resource contacts and 'what to expect when you are expecting' pointers. The author writes from experiance and personal trial and error and does a super job of covering all the bases from legal issues to home births! ... Read more


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