Book Description

The husband of The Bitch in the House responds with a collection of original pieces by male writers about what men desire, need, love, and loathe in their relationships today ...

Cathi Hanauer's bestselling The Bitch in the House: 26 Women Tell the Truth about Sex, Solitude, Work, Motherhood, and Marriage spurred a national conversation about the level of friction in contemporary marriages and relationships. Now her husband, Daniel Jones, has rallied the men for the "literary equivalent of The Full Monty," in which twenty-seven thoughtful, passionate, and often hilarious men lay it bare when it comes to their wives and girlfriends, their hopes and fears. Enough with pop psychiatrists telling us why men lie, cheat, and want nothing more than to laze around the house in front of the TV. Enough with women wondering aloud -- at increasing volume -- why the men in their lives behave the way they do. The time has come for men to speak for themselves.

Many of the husbands and fathers in these pages contemplate aspects of their personal lives they've never before revealed in print -- they kick open the door on their marriages and sex lives, their fathering and domestic conflicts, their most intimate relationships and situations. Yet unlike the average meat-and-potatoes father who still rules the roost, these men are grappling with new ideas of manhood -- some that they are going after and grabbing, and others that are being thrust upon them by a changing world.

Powerful, heartfelt, and irreverent, The Bastard on the Couch is a bold, unprecedented glimpse into the dark corners and glaring truths of modern relationships that is guaranteed to amuse, entertain, enrich, and provoke.

Reviews (7)

These guys rock.
I'm sorry for the woman below who prefers cats (I wasn't even going to write a review until I read that!)...I'll take these guys any day! They're funny, sad, infuriating, evasive, charming, smart, smart, smart, and honest--they're even honest about being dishonest!!

This book is like a primer for life with men--although not polite goody two shoes men, and who wants them anyway. These are a range of men in all their glory and warts. I read the bitch in the house, which, by the way, infuriated people all over the planet. And this is a rocking sequel...just what I was hoping for, and just as in your face. The main thing is, you can't really put it down. Some of the stories are better than others, but they're all compelling. Love these guys or hate them...they've got stories to tell, and they tell them incredibly well.

I dont care anymore I have two cats
If you werent a lesbian before you read this book you will strongly consider converting after reading it.
basically, men are guys , they arent men , they are guys. guys are not worth shaving your legs for. reality is a bitter pill best not taken.
Women buy books like this and hope the truth will be something better then it is, yet the truth makes you prefer cats.

"Why Men Lie and ALways Will " Hooked me!`
This isn't my usual type of book but when I read the blurb on the back cover about why men lie and aways will, I just had to sit down and read it. The facts are familiar so I won't review how this collection came into being. I will say that the authors are uniformly excellent writers, each with a distinctive voice that makes reading these bland, exciting, informative, funny, pitiful, infuriating essays worth my time. Vince Passaro, author of the essay which hooked me, sounds just like what he is, a writer for Esquire and GQ. HIs essay, as well as those by Hank Pine [My Marriage, My Affairs - His Story], Trey Ellis [Father of the Year], Robert Skates [The Hole in the Window: A View of Divorce], and Toure [An Invitation to Carnal Russian Roulette] all kept me turning pages until I had consumed the entire volume. And consume it I did, in one sitting, with a tall cold glass of something brown and sparkling, and no shoes anywhere nearby.
What didn't I like? Well, the writers are all clearly educated, from a certain mental socio-economic class which does slant these essays in a particular direction. The writing is so glittering, a kind of polish that even editing can't provide to the struggling writer. So the perspectives are tinged with wealth, education, culture, exposure, ability - money. Which is fine, but it leaves out the other male perspectives, like guys who ae as poor as hell. Although Toure describes himself as poor in his essay, he is only poor financially. I would have enjoyed reading essays by some different kinds of men. Or perhaps that is the lesson of this book, that men are men with the same issues regardless of income or social class. Cow patties!
Not bad, and certainly light enough reading for a summer afternoon.

A few stories resonate, many don't
The men in this book range from happily married to unhappily divorced. They talk about trying to be a "modern male," trying to share everything 50/50, trying to face their situation in a variety of roles. There is the man who has been homemaker/stay-at-home dad for the last two decades while his wife works. There is the man complaining about his wife not wanting to have sex (and seemingly performing it as just another household chore when she does). There are several tales of psycho ex-girlfriends, and quite a bit of boasting (if you read between the lines) by the authors about sowing wild oats in their younger years.

Some stories really resonate, but even though there is some griping about wives or ex-wives or ex-girlfriends, this isn't a female-bashing book, and it is rather orthodox in its feminist assumptions; some authors deride the "Sensitive New Age Guy" and some clearly want to get on a big Harley and go sow some more wild oats, but no one comes out and challenges modern "progressive" married life.

Which is why I found it disappointing, despite a few amusing and even poignant gems. The tone, like the authors, is fairly homogeneous. Almost all of them are writers living in or around Manhattan, most of them are married to women who are NYC magazine writers, editors, or publishers. So unless you fall into that demographic (white, middle-to-upper class white-collar professional with a liberal arts background), most of these stories aren't about your life. The few exceptions (like the essay by a prison inmate) do not stand out because they barely fit in (the prison inmate's essay barely even mentioned women and said nothing about relationships... I was left wondering why it was included in this book). Likewise, there are a few African-American authors, but they're also Manhattan magazine writers married to other writers.

Contrary to the revelations and deep insights promised in the introduction, these men really don't voice anything profound, they don't say things that "men just don't talk about." They say pretty much what every self-indulgent lifestyle writer will talk about. The book felt like a collection of magazine articles the editor asked all his writer buddies to send him, and then he collected them into a book instead of publishing them in a magazine.

Hit home for me
Was given this book by 'the woman in my life,' who'd already read it the second it came out (I had to hear her commentary every night as she read it in bed) and thought I'd read an essay or two, but then I found I plowed through the whole thing in a few days. And I admit I enjoyed it, but the funny thing is how much I've thought about it afterward. Some essays, like the one "Why Men Lie (and always will)" and "My Problem with her Anger" I think of EVERY DAY! And also, sorry dear, "The Lock Box," about the hubby who never gets much because his wife is always either at work or, when at home and actually in bed, chooses reading above all else (sound familiar, anyone?).

So now that my wife has won me over with this one, she's going to try to get me to read her dog-eared, bedside copy of The Bitch in the House. We'll see. I just might! ... Read more

Amazon.com

This fascinating, scholarly hodgepodge spotlights the feminist underpinnings of myth, religion, and culture. Before being lionized as zaftig Norse angels who guided strong warriors to Valhalla, Valkyries may have offered rebirth through cannibalization. "Little Red Riding Hood" was based on Diana, goddess of the hunt. Marriage was once considered a sin, not a sacred union: St. Bernard once proclaimed "it was easier for a man to bring the dead back to life than to live with a woman without endangering his soul." A few of the other topics expounded upon are the Milky Way, Cinderella, the moon, and males giving birth. While some of the references put a cranky feminist spin on words that might in context have different meaning--St. Paul's oft-quoted "better to marry than to burn," for example--much in this vast tome will dazzle dabblers and intellectuals alike. ... Read more

Reviews (55)

A frustrating mix of fact and fiction
Women (and men) who are analytical readers will be frustrated by this book. It would be a browser's delight, except that some material is pulled out of nowhere and presented alongside verifiable facts (a tactic favored by the tabloids). Ms. Walker uses questionable sources in some instances and often goes out of her way to force-fit the square peg of the more reliable sources into the round hole of her belief system. The result is a lengthy New Age feminist tract passing itself off as a work of historical analysis.

The author's stance on religion is obvious. Christianity is derided at every opportunity, whereas pagan religions are spoken of in reverential tones--often ignoring the brutal realities of many "goddess religions" of ancient times. Indeed, Ms. Walker's personal bias so taints her writing that it grows tiresome even to the non-Christian reader.

A curious mix of factual data and fanciful revisionism, The Woman's Encyclopedia of Myths and Secrets seems to be designed for the "Clan of the Cave Bear" crowd. It is simply too biased and unreliable for consideration as a reference book, though it might serve as a good jumping off place for further research. Given that it wasn't titled "The Woman's Encyclopedia of Facts", we should at least give the publisher credit for truth in advertising. I'll give it two stars--one for content and one for a very beautiful cover.

Not entirely accurate but can't be dismissed as well...
Walker does distort some fact and sometimes she doesn't write with complete accuracy. She has some far fetched ideas but I consider them good. Why, you may ask, I consider far fetched, inaccutare ideas good? Because they are different than what we are used to hearing and because they question the status quo. This book makes you think and even for some gives them a push to follow her sources and dig up more information. An accurate scholarly book is a treasure. But I believe that a controversial book that makes you search deep to find out information on your own and actually think is a bigger treasure because it challanges you. Take this book with a grain of salt but don't dismiss it entirely. The book does have its highlights and while you try to decifer what is good and what is not you will learn more than you ever bargained for.

Excellent... as a doorstop
I was very excited when I first bought this book years ago. As a naive grad student I thought I had found a treasure chest of information, but I quickly found out that I was very wrong. There is a lot of information in there, but most of it is simply not verifiable. This should be taken the same way as The Golden Bough by Frazer. As it is quite a large book, the least one could do is recycle it and use it for a doorstop! There are several other reviews here with examples, so I'll refer you to those.

All the answers
This book covers as many topics as possible for short but concise answers to questions both common and arcane. This is not a feminist tirade; it is fact. This a must read for all women, if only to understand why their lives have been defined as they are in the seemingly modern world.

Might as well be a novel
One woman's anti-male fantasy passed off as scholarship. I'd list my problems with it, but the dozens of examples below should be enough to convince even the most casual reader that this is a book for the serious student of history to avoid. The inaccuracies are numerous and the bias obvious. It is disturbing to consider that a virtual work of fiction with about as much veracity as Harry Potter could find its way into colleges and high schools. ... Read more

Book Description

In this deeply learned book, poet and translator Robert Bly offers nothing less than a new vision of what it is to be a man.

Bly's vision is based on his ongoing work with men and reflections on his own life. He addresses the devastating effects of remote fathers and mourns the disappearance of male initiation rites in our culture. Finding rich meaning in ancient stories and legends, Bly uses the Grimm fairy tale "Iron John," in which the narrator, or "Wild Man," guides a young man through eight stages of male growth, to remind us of archetypes long forgotten-images of vigorous masculinity, both protective and emotionally centered. Simultaneously poetic and down-to-earth, combining the grandeur of myth with the practical and often painful lessons of our own histories, Iron John is a rare work that will continue to guide and inspire men-and women-for years to come. ... Read more

Reviews (56)

A ground breaking work for the masculine psyche
Ten years ago when I was first told about Iron John, I remember buying the book, scanning a few pages only to put it on the book shelf. I just didn't get it. Nearly 2 years later I picked it up and began reading. Now I couldn't put it down. I suppose my time had come and now everything Bly described was deeply felt.

I suspect some young readers-both male and female won't truly understand the gravity of what Robert Bly is saying. But as is the mark of a truly great work, the reader can go back again and again, gleaning a little more understanding with each reading.

Robert Bly has a firm grasp of Jungian psychology and uses metaphor throughout the book as large brush strokes on a blank canvas. I will go as far to say this is a "must read" for all men over 35. A "should read" for anyone wanting to better understand the male psyche, the events leading to the appearance of what Bly calls the "50s male" and the following retreat into the "soft male" of the 70s and 80s.
The alternitive the author describes can be then a man who has centered himself between these two polar opposites, needing not to act out old macho stereotypes nor carry the wounds of the feminine psyche. I suspect this is a man who has found his own way and a man that women can trust as well.

Wanna be a man? Knock out a tooth!
A lot of reviews have already been written about this book. Why add another? Well, right now, I'm reading this book for the third time in two years and that has not happened to me with any other book I've read. Even when you feel, as I did, that Bly's style of writing is at times so suggestive that you start wondering if he can fully understand and grasp the meaning of everything he is writing about himself, and even if you agree that the quoted poetry is a bit out of touch with the rest of the text, this book is a real mind-grabber.

Everytime I read it, I am bewitched by its strong images, its powerful, hypnotic rhythm and the beautiful horizon that lies ahead. The book is not very long, but it takes me several weeks to get through it. But that is because as soon as I find myself reading to 'get it over with', I close the book (and my eyes) and put it aside for a while. This "man's stuff" is hard work and you should take your time for it. Take a bath in the book and come out completely refreshed. As I come to think of it, Bly's occasional haziness probably is what makes this book so truly hypnotizing. And if you want to break the spell and get a 'how to' sequel to this book, you can always pick up the beautiful 'King, Warrior, Magician, Lover' by Moore and Gilette. They will put your feet on the ground again - at least until the next time you pick up 'Iron John', that is.

And thus, for contributing this book to a field where valid generalizations are hard to make and, consequently, "facts about men" that every man could agree on are rare, and for writing it even though every sentence could cause all-out war between the sexes (or between Christians, schoolteachers, the Society for the Promotion of Harmless Books and the Military, for that matter), this book -and its author- really deserve each of the five stars.

Lyrical and resonant....
I'd thought from the opening pages that this was going to be another trite and superficial book - after all, what would a poet, however existential, know about the holes of the soul. But soon after, the book became fascinating, even difficult to put down. There's certainly a strong strand of personal experience and prisms that color the narrative, but having said that it doesn't take anything away.
Definitely a book that can safely be called lyrical. A simple yet powerful writing style makes for a book that plays with your imagination.

Beautiful but Blind
The poet Robert Bly published what is still the Men's Movement's central text in 1990. It's abstract and discursive, but one can discern a lot of real feeling in Bly's pleas for warm fathering and meaningful male rites of passage.

Essentially, Bly uses a Grimm's fairy tale called "Iron John" and extrapolates from it sentence by sentence. The book was a bestseller, but the Men's Movement it spawned sputtered out in only a few years, resurfacing in Christian form by the mid-1990s as Promise Keepers and then fading almost entirely.

Unlike second wave feminism, whose radical ambitions brought about change we're still reeling from 40 years later, the Men's Movement was hampered and compromised by a time of Anglo-American political centrism. "Iron John" was not the radical text it needed to be to launch a sustained and meaningful social movement.

One would not need to read deep in between the lines of the Iron John fairy tale to see it as a man-boy romance, but Bly's beautiful observations seem blind to this subtext. First of all, wilderness is a very erotic symbol in Grimms' stories as in the wolfishly sexual "Little Red Riding Hood." The kidnapping of a boy by a man is a charged event when it's reported on the six o'clock news. We expect to hear the word "sodomized" in the next sentence.

But in Bly's Disneyworld universe the man-boy romance of the "Iron John" story remains utterly chaste. Even back in 1960 the literary critic Leslie Fiedler complained about the Puritan American tendency to expurgate homosex from its male love stories (such as "Huckleberry Finn," "Moby Dick," "Of Mice and Men," and "On the Road").

Rather than a radical break from this tradition, Bly writes firmly within it. He doesn't see the wild man's outcast status as a hint at pederasty. His doesn't see the wild man's causing the boy to view his young body parts as golden as the result of admiring or even desiring glances. Even when the lovers run off to the privacy of the wilderness' dark heart, Bly suspects nothing untoward.

The Wild Man lavishes his chosen boy with gifts, a commonplace generosity in Greek and samurai pederasty. In fact, many cultures all over the world have linked male rites of passage to man/boy erotic bonds. Police were raiding Michael Jackson's woodsy Neverland compound in the early 1990s as Bly was promoting "Iron John." By the year 2001, stories of priestly pedophilia would be splashed all over the media; some of these tales involved adult mentors taking adolescent boys to wilderness locations for bonding which included sex.

Through it all, Bly never mentioned the parallels to the story he analyzed in "Iron John."

Bly's "father hunger" parallels that of Christ, who imagined a Father in the sky to ease his heartache over failing to find a father here on earth. These are beautiful fantasies. As a poet myself, I love them.

But a radical Men's Movement that actually takes off and matters wouldn't dodge the fact that it's up against a powerful taboo called homophobia.

Better than I thought
I remember reading an article about Robert Bly sometime around 1990, in which he was described as "looking like someone's grandmother," and then which proceeded to mock him as someone who took wackos and had them beat drums and howl at the moon. I figured he was getting a bum rap--but then, what can you expect from the media? Recently I picked up this book, and for all the poetic vagueness--hey, he's a poet, okay?--it was better than I thought it would be. Essentially, once you get past all the overwriting, Bly does have two good points--some fathers are too distant, or not there at all, and there are no male initiation rites, which most
cultures provided at about age 12. Unfortunately, he writes an entire book about one fairy tale--the "Iron John" of the title. There's also a bit too much self-pity and victimization. But besides that, it's a good book, one that I would certainly recommend. Just read it with a critical eye. ... Read more

Reviews (2)

A Must Read for Mothers and Daughters
Mother/Daughter Revolution should be standard issue - given along with baby's birth certificate - to any woman in this country who gives birth to a female child. It is that good. Drawing on numerous studies and sources, Mother/Daughter Revolution details the sudden drop in self esteem which girls in our culture experience as they approach adolescence, and the myriad of ways in which this is expressed. It also examines the underlying societal flaws which allow this to occur and the societal situations in previous generations which led to the current state of events. Many books have done the same, including "Reviving Ophelia" by Mary Pipher and "Raising a Daughter" by Ellium and Ellium. Where Mother/Daughter Revolution departs from these books (which are also must-reads) is in it's hands on analysis of how mothers can de-code the messages they recieved at the hands of their cultural mileu and how they can then join their daughters in resisting the influences of the patriarchy that seeks to deprive them of their essential selves. It describes the Mother/Daughter conflict in a new way, a way that circumvents all the psycho-babble about identity and the necessity of a girl child divorcing herself from her mother - and presents a new paradigm for being a mother and a daughter in this culture. When Mothers and Daughters become aware of the influences which seek to tear them from their main source of support (each other) they can work to become empowered, so the bond between them can help the daughter grow to maturity with her mother beside her, instead of growing to what society teaches women to expect - an adolescence where the daughter and the mother are constantly at war, with neither one emerging unscathed.

A must-read for anyone who cares about tomorrow!
Swell illustration of why so many teenage girls suffer losses in self-esteem as they get older. Shows that this can be prevented & is a "can-do" book, not a "girls as victims" books. Delves into the world of teenage girls & the challenges they face as they grow up & struggle to remain whole human beings. I do have to say, though, in the chapter about how beauty is used is women's false "power", using the Baby-Sitters' Club series as an example, especially the one about Mary Anne's haircut, was a poor example. Mary Anne gets the haircut & realizes that people react differently to her, BUT in the end of the book described in here, Mary Anne does come to realize that beauty is only a fleeting, superficial goal(especially since she's not very pretty, but is very bright) & comes back to earth quickly( especially when her boyfriend gets jealous & makes her cry!). The Baby-Sitters' Club series would be better used as an example of resistance to the status quo, as the girls in that book remain connected to each other & refuse to fall into the "chronic victim" mode despite peer pressure & haircuts & all. This book would have done better to praise the BSC, rather than criticize the series. If the authors wanted to use an example of negative images of girls, they should have gone after another series "The Fabulous Five" by Betsy Haynes. Now THERE was a series that used girls' appearances as "bartering" tools. Many of the girls in the "Fabulous Five" were not only appearance-obsessed, but too focused on what the boys wanted, & often were pitted against each other in competition for male approval. Otherwise, this book is very vivid & a strong guide for both mothers AND daughters. ... Read more

Book Description

Written by a woman experienced on both ends of the oral sex equation, this nuts-and-bolts exploration of cunnilingus is unlike anything ever written before. Explicit, detailed, enormously entertaining and written for both novices and pros, Box Lunch demystifies the female anatomy with an eye toward making oral sex as satisfying for the giver as it is for the receiver. Make no mistake, this is the most direct route to orgasm for many women, and Diana Cage shows you how to not only excel at it but revel in it!

Diana Cage is the editor of On Our Backs Magazine and the editor of The On Our Backs Guide to Lesbian Sex. She lives in San Francisco.

Reviews (15)

Right to the heart of the matter
Johnston's book spirals deeply into the core issues that any woman coping with disordered eating would want to address, and she does it with a gentle, patient, and encouraging spirit. Her work uses myth, allegory and storytelling as a way of looking at the deep-seated issues of what it means to be a woman in today's culture and how that affects our relationships with food. This is definitely not a diet or how-to book. It is lyrical, poetic and spiritual, but remains eminently practical. Johnston transcends the standard medical view of disordered eating as a purely physical problem and incorporates woman's mind, body and spirit in her work. Johnston integrates feminine spirituality and feminism with basic healthy living practices and presents options that those of us who have struggled with food may not have considered before. As a recovered bulimic, I can vouch for the efficacy of her approach, and I fervently wish that everyone who has struggled with food and eating issues would read this book.

Born a woman in the 20th century? Read this book!
There is not a woman in the western world today who hasn't been influenced by 5000 years of masculine thinking. Dr. Johnston's stories and interpretive lessons nourish a hunger for feminine guidance and wisdom, and help the reader tap into a sense of strength born from paying close attention to the information her she receives from her inner resources - dreams, feelings, intuition. Written for women with disordered eating, this book speaks to all women

Very Helpful for my recovery from compulsive eating disorder
My therapist first recommended this book to me, which has been very helpful to me in redefining my relationship with food. I see this as a gentle book, one that does not preach a particular way of thinking, a way of eating or a way of feeling about yourself.

It presents you with a number of folk stories and myths which assist in understanding the way we approach our relationships with food. While the author interprets them, she is not so "in your face" that you can't find meanging of your own in them -- there is room for musing about what the story means in relationship to your own life.

It is a book I keep on my nightstand and return to regularly since I pick up different nuances each time I read it. The layers of meaning are subtle and can take time to sift through as healing continues.

Outstanding !!!
Eating in the light of the moon, is one of the most sensitive outstanding wise books I recently read in connection with feminism, eating disorders and spirituality. With a clear and fluent language, filled with metaphors & folk tales, and deep understanding of how a women with food issues really feels, Dr. Johnston leads us step by step to our inner Women's Wisdom and to reconnecting with our feelings, needs and inner voice.
No Women's home library in complete with out this book.

Transforming the Female Experience for Everywoman
While Anita Johnson's book focusses on women's use of food as a way to cope with disconnection from our souls, I'm recommending it to everywoman I know! Her chapter "Moontime: Reclaiming the Body's Wisdom" contains a story she wrote for her daughters "to provide them with a new way of understanding the menstrual process". I believe this story has the potential to transform the next generation of emerging women. I want every mother, aunt, health education teacher, and adult woman I know to have have a copy for herself and to pass it on to every women she knows -- but especially our young women and daughters. Johnson's beautiful tale of a young woman's journey toward learning about "women's earth magic" is evocative, full of grace and wisdom, and transformative. My own experience of my female cycles will never be the same.

The life changing power of story graces all the chapters of this book. Women on the road to self-recovery of any sort will do well to spend some time soaking in the goodness Johnson offers on these pages. In her preface Johnson notes that women in recovery from disordered eating "follow a twisting, turning, winding path to their centers. It required them to leave behind old perceptions of themselves that they had adopted from others and to reclaim their own inner authorities. They had to listen to the voice from within to give them guidance and support as they searched from their true thoughts, feelings, and desires." While especially written for those of us working with recovery from eating disorders, this book is an understanding and soulful resource for any woman on the journey to the center of herself. Thank you Anita! ... Read more

Book Description

In  1967, after a twin baby boy suffered a botched circumcision, his family agreed to a radical treatment that would alter his gender.  The case would become one of the most famous in modern medicine -- and a total failure.  As Nature Made Him tells the extraordinary story of David Reimer, who, when finally informed of his medical history, made the decision to live as a male.  A macabre tale of medical arrogance, it is first and foremost a human drama of one man's -- and one family's -- amazing survival in the face of terrible odds.

Reviews (133)

John Money the monster
I read As Nature Made Him several months ago and still think about the impact it had on me almost daily. There isn't a person that I don't recommend the book to. In short it really touched me and invoked such anger at how this boy's life began. I wept several times while reading this book for the pain that David Reimer and his family endured for a significant period of their lives. John Money can only be described as possessing a mental disorder and I am surprised he hasn't faced a court to answer for all the sordid behaviour he inflicted upon innocent children. He used David Reimer and his twin brother as his very own live human guinea pigs. He mentally, sexually and physically abused David Reimer, his twin and their parents. I felt that the author (amazingly) remained fairly objective and presented all the facts he was faced with. He is to be commended for the fabulous way he has brought David Reimer's story to light all over the world (I am in Australia) and so hopefully others who are going through similar experiences can know they are not alone and they are not the freaks but the doctors who perform these infantile gender assignment operations are the sickos. I will keep an eye out for other material by this author and probably reread As Nature Made Him another million times in my lifetime.

Amazing story
This book tells the story of David Reimer, who was born a boy, but raised as a girl after a botched circumcision. The book explains much more than Reimer's story- -it explains the scientific controversy over the plasticity of sexual identity that had arisen just before Reimer's accident, and how Reimer's psychological development was central to the controversy.

Colapinto begins David's story with some background on his parents, how they met, married, and had their first children, identical twin boys named Bruce and Brian. He details the events that led to Bruce's catastrophic accident at the age of 8 months, and then how his parents were led to the decision to raise him as a girl named Brenda. Extensive interviews with all of the family members enabled Colapinto to present vivid images of Brenda's difficulties in adapting to life as a girl. Brenda was under the care of John Money, a psychologist who, in Colapinto's account, almost single handedly persuaded the world that children developed their sexual identity based on their genitalia and societal practices. The lone dissenter at the time was Milton Diamond, whose research studied the effects of prenatal exposure to sex hormones and later development of sexual behaviors- -in guinea pigs. Unfortunately for Brenda, Money turned out to be a abusive psychologist and dubious scientist, at best. Brenda endured enforced girlhood against all instincts for 14 years, until she finally discovered her birth gender and was allowed to return to it, this time with the name of David.

Colapinto does a masterful job at presenting the scientific aspects of the story. He explains Money's background, and how he opened the first transgender clinic in the US, and how well his hypothesis of gender plasticity was aligned with the behaviorist establishment in psychology. He describes how it was Diamond who posed the problem for Money of finding a normally developed infant to undergo an experimental sex change, and how vital it was for Money, his theories and reputation, for the experiment to be a success. Colapinto details how Money used the Reimers' story in his books and research as evidence supporting his theory, while the real facts went in exactly the opposite direction. Most significantly, Colapinto explains how David Reimer's case became an essential precedent for treatment of intersexuals, infants who are born with ambiguous genitalia or genitalia that are not in agreement with their chromosomal gender. Because Money claimed that Reimer was doing marvelously after his infant sex change, many other infants around the world were subjected to similar treatment, and were to suffer as Reimer did.

Money's claim that sexual identity and gender-related behaviors were driven primarily by societal mores was also heard by feminists, who demanded changes in child rearing practices to make them more unisex and less gender-biased. In light of Reimer's experience and Diamond's work, it might be good to rethink some of these ideas now. While it is wonderful to encourage all children, not just boys, to play with construction toys, and all children, not just girls, to play with dolls, it might be a good idea to draw the line at specifically discouraging boys from being rowdy, or trying to draw girls away from their social games. Instead of actively encouraging unisex behavior and agonizing over the appearance of gender-related behavior, it might be better to just observe who each child is by nature, and supply activities and toys accordingly.

Tragic story, indeed...
Incredible book, and one wonders how something like this could happen, but truth is stranger than fiction, they say. What makes this story incredibly sadder is that David committed suicide in May of this year, two years after his twin brother, Brian, died of a drug overdose. I can't imagine the sorrow that is felt by their parents... :(

Meeting David
Just sitting in the diner this morning, leafing through a local (...) newspaper, I saw the obituary for David Reimer, once Brenda, once Bruce. Vaguely familiar with the case, but not having read the book, I was still immediately saddened by his death. An hour later, book in hand, I sat to read a compelling book about the unfounded theories of a doctor that led to the tragic life of Reimer, "As Nature Made Him".

The book, penned by Rolling Stone scribe John Colapinto, recounts the horrific, and I mean horrific, childhood of Bruce Reimer, having survived a botched circumcision, only to be forced to live as a girl by two well-intentioned yet ill-informed parents. Now Brenda, his life bascially becomes a living hell, dressing and acting against his very nature. Even worse, he is forced to undergo bizarre and irrational questioning by supervising doctor John Money that literally made my stomach turn.

Colapinto's book moves fast, very fast, through David's life, making for a quick read. Yet the speed in which you can read this book in no way detracts from its central messages. David comes out of the whole ordeal a wounded survivor, possibly an inspiration to others who might befall the same fate. And yet, his demons caught up with him, causing his recent suicide.

Perhaps none of this would have happened if that one failed circumcision never occured. Or if his mother happened to miss a television special with the notorious Dr. Money on it. But it did, and the tragedy of it all loomed over this work. We simply cannot afford, as a society, to play with people's lives for the sake of advancing careers or prestige or fame. People are much too important for that. Let David's life and death be an example, so that this simply will never, ever happen again.

Gripping, Tragic
'As Nature Made Him' is the horrifying true story of David Reimer, who lost his penis as an infant after a botched circumcision. His parents, only under-educated teenagers at the time, believed in the expertise of John Money at the Johns Hopkins Hospital. Dr. Money told them the best course was to castrate the baby and raise him as a girl, that nurture was more important than nature; gender could be changed with willpower, surgery and hormone treatments. The book recounts Brenda's lonely, mixed-up childhood and the devastating effect it had on the entire family. I was filled with rage at Dr. Money, who only wanted to promote his theories and stroke his own ego, no matter what the cost to patients or their families. This book is doubly devastating after hearing the news that David Reimer (formerly Brenda) had killed himself in May, 2004 at the age of 38. ... Read more

Reviews (8)

Fabulous!! I will survive!
Thank you, Stefanie and Sherene, for holding my hand through the roughest time of my life. You've written the book every woman has been waiting for.

Required reading for every woman on the planet
This incredible book, Surviving Saturn's Return, is one the best Astrology books ever written. (With all due respect to Sidney Omarr). Sherene and Stefanie have hit on one of the biggest secrets in Astrology and uncovered it in the most sincere way- This book should get 100 stars- not just 5.
Stefanie and Sherene write in a way that speaks to you - not at you. Truthful and direct, but not harsh, and with a large dose of hope for the future. And as they explain to you who Mr. SAturn is and take you on his roller-coaster journey through each sign, they travel WITH you -almost like they are there in person, speaking directly to you. Their refreshing theory on Saturn and his Return ANSWERS SO MANY questions that many other books on Astrology leave out. You begin to understand why you may be going through continous crisis and start to put pieces of your life puzzle together.
"Surviving Saturns Return" is FOR and applies to ALL women who have had a continous crisis or obstacles thoughout their life -not just women who are turning thirty or near the big 3-0.
Sherene and Stefanie have truly charted and uncovered previously little known and little explored territory with their detailed analysis of Saturn and his Return.
In addition, their website WWW.Saturnsreturn.net is a complementary support tool that stands well on it's own. A GREAT website to go to and explore.
But get the book AND visit the website to get the full blown effect.

Loved it
Oh I really needed this book a few years ago! The authors are straight talkers-who explain (with a good dose of humor) why your life seems to suddenly go out of whack, and more importantly how to deal with it. I keep going back to the book--not only for the straighforward helpful advice, but I love the humor, the examples that they use..well everything. I heartily reccomend this book. Wonderful--even if you get a bit confused about astrology like I do.

If you're in your late twenties, you must read this book!
I just read "Surviving Saturn's Return" and I can't believe how much it helped put the last year in perspective. I only wish I'd read it before I had to live it! I didn't even believe in astrology before I read this book, but everyone I know has reported the same sort of turmoil in the year before turning thirty, so I thought it might help. It's a really great and useful read--highly recommended.

A very real phenomenon, an indispensable book.
I am presently 29 and going through my Saturn Return. I've always thought of astrology as entertainment and not as a tool that could actually help me to understand the fluctuations of my mood, feelings, behavior or the world around me. This book has put everything in perspective for me. Whether or not you buy into astrology, if you're turning 30 and you feel like your life is in chaos, you'll find solace here, and a planetary basis to support it. The writing style's quick and witty and the writers are clearly experts in what they preach. Highly recommended. ... Read more

Reviews (47)

A Useful Revisionist Exercise
Riane Eisler marshalls compelling evidence from many disciplines to assert that the struggle between a "gylanic" social structure based on male-female partnership exemplified in ancient Crete and Turkey, and a male dominated "androcracy", has been the major unseen force shaping western history and is once again in our time coming to a head."

Eisler writes that the "root of the problem lies in a social system in which the power of the blade is idealized." In contrast to this male-oriented power, Eisler describes the power of the chalice, "the power to transform death into life through the mysterious cyclical regeneration of nature." Her book poses a radical revisioning of the past which pushes the advent of civilization further back into the Neolithic era to include cultures which practiced a "gylanic" form of society. Regarding biblical history and morality, Eisler notes that "to the extent that it reflects a [male] dominator society, it is at best stunted."

Continuing with biblical history as she advances her analysis forward to the present day, Eisler writes that "the more gylanic followers of Jesus tried to transform the cross on which he was executed into a symbol of rebirth- a symbol associated with a social movement that set out to preach and practice human equality and such "feminine concepts as gentleness, compassion and peace." Eisler also details the attempt by some Gnostic Christians to establish a continuum of psycho-sexual identity in the face of opposition from church patriarchs as another instance of the gylanic retreating in the face of androcratic political power. I found this revisionist adventure to be very useful, and I recommend it to those seeking the reintegration of a culture mesmerized by scientism, materialism, and the faux enlightenment of prosperity.

The MOST IMPORTANT book I've ever read...
Based on the work of the remarkable archaeologist Marija Gimbutas and many other scientists and scholars, Riane Eisler discusses Truth after Truth of our world's wonderful Prehistory in which, rather than the caveman Lie, our ancestors were peaceful, highly artistic, compassionate people who loved and celebrated all Life and worshipped the Goddess. The remains of their cities prove that they lived communally with no slaves and no signs of war for 2000 years until the cruel, bloody invasions of the peripheral, nomadic Indo-Europeans. Our "civilization" has ever after been based on the Dominator model: a history filled with wars, slavery, murder, rape, violence; men dominating women, children, and other men; in which values of compassion and peace are set aside or suppressed. I was continually amazed that in each chapter, Eisler brings up new points for discussion, speaking directly to the Soul about our history and the Present. And from the Truth of our Prehistoric past, when people were developing a truly peaceful and egalitarian society, we definitely can make this a reality for our future. This can be a world in which every Person is truly Free and Equal, a world without war or violence, in which the Arts flourish, creativity has no bounds, and we live at peace with all of Nature and ourselves: "the power of creativity and love - symbolized by the sacred Chalice, the holy vessel of life - is the governing principle."

Truth and enlightenment at last . . .
I LOVE IT! THIS IS REQUIRED READING FOR EVERYONE!

Excellent scholarly comprensive work....
Riane Eisler's CHALICE AND THE BLADE is one of those books that had to be written. In it, she asks "Did humans at some point in history create a culture that was far more civilized than the so-called civilizations moderns have been and are experiencing?" And, more importantly, can we do it again? Her answer is a resounding YES and YES and YES. To illuminate and support her thesis Eisler presents the reader with a comprehensive and thoroughly researched synopsis of some of the most salient and scholarly material on this subject published in the late 20th Century when Joseph Campbell was completing an academic career researching and writing about myths, James Mellaart had been excavating and writing about Catel Huyuk, and Elaine Pagels was beginning to rock the theological world with her research on the Gnostic gospels and the Nag Hammadi scrolls.

Eisler's work was first published in 1987, when the right-wing lock on US society was only beginning to choke the great social movements that had been ignited in the preceding decades. These movements were initially viewed as somewhat antithetical to the 'Archie Bunker' school of thought and the mainstream academic views promulgated by conservative Western scholars (Jewish, Christian, and Islamic). Main steam scholars had long ago settled on an androcentric canon of beliefs and world view that saw males as superior to females, and promoted the manly enterprises of war and destruction of the natural environment. The scholars Eisler cites expressed different and non-canonical points of view. Eisler explores their works and the works of others as she examines the art, social mores, beliefs, and technology of the Neolithic Age.

According to Eisler, the extant information supports the notion that humans once worshipped a Mother Goddess who was viewed as the source of life unlike the later Gods who were War Gods and all about death and dying.The followers of the Mother Goddess were probably centered in Eastern Europe and Western Asia, particularly Crete. Their cultures were destroyed by blade-wielding fiendish tribesmen whom Eisler names 'Kurgans'. These Kurgans, were herders who entered the agrarian areas from the periphery and destroyed what they found. Eisler suggests the Kurgans and their militaristic namesakes have controlled the area as well as the rest of the world ever since, although brief periods of gylanic (female, Humanistic) resurgance occurred in periods demarcated by Christian love (agape), Renaissance Humanism and the 20th Century "New Age" movement.

I found this book illuminating and provocative. It seems "He who lives by the sword (blade) dies by the sword" and the sooner we change that the better. Eisler seems to think we should spend more time looking for the grail (chalice of love) and I agree.

If you like reading influential visionary books read this!
Riane Eisler's The Chalice and The Blade is a great book for many reasons. One is that is has influenced many other writers, including men. Another is that it is a books which influences aspects of feminism today. First published in 1988, it is also a book that has created controversy down to this day. It is spurned and embraced by feminists and non-feminist, philosophers and historians. Some feminists either want to add this book as a great item to their lexicon, or burn it and look elsewhere.

Non-feminists also want to burn it. Philosophers love or hate the vision and ethics of the book. Historians scorn the book or are intrigued by its posssibilities. These are all signs of greatness, when great emotion and reaction is incited. I credit Riane Eisler with great vision, for that is what this book is: A vision of how things could have been, are, and may be. Visions are meant to expand the mind and open people's eyes to different possibilities. Eisler's famous vision fueled by Marija Gimbutas's work on goddess anthropology from the same time period. Eisler envisions a past where the chalice was worshipped, a golden age of peace that did not involve the subjugation of women in their "proper place" before everything went wrong in the Garden of Eden, but an age when men and women lived together in peace.

She writes of a Utopian Society attacked from outsiders who believed in subjugation and social hierarchy. (You may want to check out Catal Huyak, the controversial Turkish site where fodder for much of this began)I understand criticisms that dislike Eisler's laying the entire blame for all that is wrong at the feet of men, but really, who has been in power? It's not just about wether women are cruel, it's about who has the power. That's been men for millenia. It's a very recent phenomena that women are getting equality at all. Patriarchy isn't all bad, there are many good things about it, and men. (My husband is one, and Lord of The Rings is another:)We're all human. Looking back at Eisler's landmark work knowing what we now know, gives rise to many more speculations. Recently in the Black Sea there were found what looks like actual ones of Women Amazons, or Riders who carry weapons. This isn't that far from Catal Huyak. I'm not sure what it all means but I hope we find out. Chalice and the Blade is a speculative vision, which means, like fiction or a political treatise that it is not meant to be taken as actual history. It is, yes, a revision, of history, and what is wrong with that?

People are always speculating about history, novels written about it. If people are so upset about a book, chances are, you should read it. The Cahlice and the Blade is a vision of what might be another aspect of history, and done to keep humanity's minds open to a diferent future. Since it was written in 1988, it's good to keep up on material that has been researched since and been discovered. For instance, thanks to Paula Gunn Allen, we know that while not being a Ridiculous Utopia, she does write in her essay, When Women Throw Down Bundles: Strong Women Make Strong Nations, that certain tribes of Indians did live in a Society much like Eisler describes before their people were cruelly and methodicaly tortured and killed. Eisler's book is a landmark in feminism, and women's alternative spirtuality movements, and philosophy and for that reason, should be read to see the big picture.

In an age where many men are still misogynists, this book is empowering. I reccommend this book to those with open minds, and those with questions. I recommend as additional reading and viewing: The Frailty Myth, by Colette Dowling, The Paula Gunn Allen Essay I mentioned. I give the book four stars because of it's influence and vision. I would've given it five if it was updated with new info. ... Read more

Book Description

For every woman who's ever come home after a disastrous date or day at the office to the unconditional love and comfort of a pet, this funny, irreverent memoir poses (and answers) the eternal question: Why is it so easy to love an animal and so hard to live with a man?

The Pig and I follows the hilly course of Yale-educated single girl Rachel Toor's love affairs with a series of unusual pets, and the string of boyfriends who bear an uncanny resemblance to them, both in looks and temperament. There's Charlie, a rich albeit mousy male, who turns out to be such a pushover that he allows Rachel to walk all over him without so much as a squeal, and to whom Rachel shows far less affection than to her pet mouse, Prudence. Patrick, the kind but dull manager of a typesetting business who Rachel falls for at the same time she finds Hannah, a cuddly but quiet canine mutt. Then there's Jonathan, the nerdy, brilliant doctor who was almost "the one," and whose role as co-parent to Emma, the pot-bellied pig, becomes pivotal to Rachel's quest for happiness and self-satisfaction. As Rachel falls for each pet, and each man, the truth of her question asserts itself as the human love fades and her love for the animal-and her acceptance of herself-grows stronger.

Any woman who has experienced the pure joy of loving an animal and the often-less-than-pure joy of loving a man will recognize herself in Rachel; any woman who has fallen for a man for all the wrong reasons will chuckle as she sees her own flawed judgment writ large. Heartfelt and hilarious, The Pig and I will be cherished by pet lovers and romantic realists alike. ... Read more

Reviews (10)

An amazing read
I picked this up from the library after having read it mentioned in an article elsewhere.Extremely well-written, I couldn't put it down, and have recommended it highly to almost all of my female friends.I plan on reading it again this weekend, to see what bits I may have missed as I was travelling with Rachel to see what insights she'd have into her own life that might mirror my own.

Relationships with men and animals
Rachel Toor's "The Pig and I" chroniced her journey from a college student at Yale to a forty-something writer. Toor talked about her relationship with various pets; mouse, rat, dog, cat, donkey, and horse. Through each of those pets, she learned something about the animals, especially their characters. Besides her pets, Toor also wrote about the relationship that she had with various men, and the lessons that she learned from each of them. Some of the relationships that she formed with them actually lasted beyond even after they broke up. In fact, two of her ex-boyfriends actually formed a "R.E.B." which stands for Rachel's Ex-Boyfriends.

This is quite a well-written book as the author is witty, funny as well as knowledgeable. I like that she was able to explain vividly her relationships with all her pets and was able to learn a lot about them; their characters, their likes and dislike. From the way she wrote about her pets, there is no doubt that this author has great passion and love for animals. This is certainly a fast-paced and entertaining read!

Belly Laughs, Joy, and Love
I enjoy books that make me laugh out loud to myself; there were some priceless moments in this book that elevated my mood considerably.Laughing out loud raises your heart rate and is a very good thing physically; Rachel's tour of encounters with the selfish pig, bitch rat, and others left me smiling.

I, too, have passed this book on to friends and family.I find even the title makes people smile, particularly animal-lovers and women in the dating world.

Toor is also thoughtful about the deep and profound love that can occur between species and that this cross-species love should be honored and revered as much as human love.Her capacity to engage with people and pets is enormous, and she puts her heart out there (and her pen) again and again.

Insightful & Soothing
This book was a surprise.I fully expected a typical chick-lit book, fun, "candy" -- a weekend read.What I didn't expect was to shed tears toward the end, both because of some of the author's insights--about men and about life--that hit a personal nerve, and the pets to which I became attached...

The beginning was a tad slow and it took me a while to shake off my original conception (that I was in a chick-lit book) and realize that this was a whole 'nother planet.The tone is gentle and very real.Not crass-real or life-is-horrible real: just life, beautiful, difficult, day-to-day life.

Thank you Rachel for sharing your gift with us, can't wait for the next one.

Well Done Rachel Toor.
I picked this book up at Border's and couldn't put it down.Alas, I paid $7 more for it, but I do not regret my indescretion.If you are in your forties, this book is a nostalgic and acurate representation of life as you've know it thus far.It follows one woman's adventures with her beloved pets and the assorted men that she encounters along the way.If you are looking for a mental vacation, a book you can read on you lunch break or a book to relax with in the bath tub, this book fits the bill.I laughed.I cried.I gave it to my best friend and asked her to pass it on.This one definately deserves to be in circulation, not sitting on a shelf. ... Read more

Book Description

In ancient times, older women were the keepers of primal mysteries and were revered for their special wisdom. For this very special book, Joyce Tenneson traveled throughout America to photograph and interview women ages 65 to l00.What she found was a revelation-women who were vital, energetic, and deeply beautiful, inside and out. The80 portraits are of women from all walks of life from the famous, such as Sandra Day O'Connor, Julie Harris, and Angela Lansbury, to the ordinary, such as our mothers and grandmothers. Tenneson's compelling and compassionate portraits, accompanied by short poignant statements from these remarkable women about the experience of aging, will help to reawaken us to the power and wisdom of our elders. ... Read more

Reviews (9)

This is a great coffee table book
When I pick up this book and thumb through it I think of my grandmother who I adore.I can imagine her picture along side the others.Strong, vulnerable and brave!

I was also very pleased to see that Joyce Tenneson was courageous enough to show these women as beautiful and whole-revealing their flaws.

This book is not a book for every woman.I agree with one of the other reviewers that women in their 80's might not appreciate seeing other women their age covered in only a wrap of cloth. Baby Boomers will enjoy this as they get older and see other women, older and wiser being comfortable with their bodies, their lives and their accomplishments.It would also make a good gift for cancer survivors in their 50's, as many of the women are survivors themselves.

There is not a lot of text in this book, which is why I say it would make a great coffee table book.I thumb through it often and find it very comforting to read the short quotes about their faith, their life and aging. It reads like comfort food for the soul.

The photograph is the story
I first came across the photographs of Joyce Tenneson in The Sun Magazine; I was instantly entranced. Here were photographs that spoke volumes, that said here is the spirit of woman that has been hidden by fashion, jewelry, makeup and society's expectations. They are photographs that you can spend hours with. Her work reminds me of that of Imogene Cunningham, though their years are far separated. The book does not need the quotes, the photographs speak on their own.

Not enough substance
This book was a disappointment for me - the title does not live up to my expectations. I mean, these are women who have lived for 70, 80, 90 years and all they have to say is one or two sentences? I wanted pages and pages of their wisdom. And then the wisest thing one of them had to say was "...I live at the Dakota and sometimes I feel like moving, but what would I do with all the things I've collected over the years? I have so many "things", I guess I'll never move." Oh, please! Where exactly is the wisdom here. Most of the photos were great, that's what the 3 stars are for. Also, I was surprised that several women did not reveal their age - I thought it was more interesting knowing their ages and seeing how beautiful they were and was inspired and amazed knowing that. In the introduction the author talks about the women sharing "...their inner lives - the heartaches as well as the triumphs. We talked about our families and the longings of our hearts...we discovered that the journeys we had taken toward our deeper selves, toward acceptance, love, and hopefully compassion for the frailties of the universe were basically the same. I came away from each encounter exhilarated by what I had seen and learned, and with an urgent desire to share these stories." I wish she had truly shared them. I'm sure they would have been great.

I loved this book and gave one to my mother....
This is a book I would be honored to given to me by my daughter...or anyone!Unfortunately, my mother didn't feel the same way.She's in her 70's andthought I was insulting her.The women in the book are my role models...

Real Beauty Revealed
All the while I was writing my own book about the wisdom, joy and power in being an 'Elderwoman' - i.e. a woman who embraces the aging process, instead of shrinking from it -I wished I could illustrate it with pictures. For as we know, a picture is worth a thousand words. And the true Elderwoman is a delight to behold. Her joy, her wisdom, her power, and a thousand stories, are all there, in her face. But I am no photographer. I had to make do with words.
So when I came upon this beautiful book I fell in love with it immediately. Now, everywhere I go to talk about my own books or to do workshops with older women, I take Joyce Tenneson's book with me, and pass it around. Every woman I have shown it to has loved it, as I do.
Compared to these portraits, the bland faces of young models look like clones or Barbie dolls. Here is REAL BEAUTY, revealed. ... Read more

Book Description

Readers of Princess Sultana's extraordinary story, PRINCESS, were gripped by her powerful indictment of women's lives behind the veil within the royal family of Saudi Arabia. Now, Jean Sasson turns the spotlight on Sultana's two teenage daughters, Maha and Amani.

As second-generation members of the royal family who have benefited from Saudi oil wealth, Maha and Amani have never known the poverty which their grandparents experienced as children. Surrounded by untold opulence and luxury from the day they were born and which they take for granted, but stifled by the unbearably restrictive lifestyle imposed on them, they have reacted in equally desperate ways.

Their dramatic and shocking stories, together with many more which concern other members of Princess Sultana's huge family, are set against a rich backcloth of Saudi Arabian culture and social mores which are depicted with equal color and authenticity. We learn, for example, of the fascinating ritual of the world-famous annual pirlgrimage to Makkah as we accompany the princess and her family to this holiest of cities.

Throughout, however, Sultana never tires of her quest to expose the injustices which her society levels against women. In her couragewious campaign to improve the lot of her own daughters of Arabia, Princess Sultana once more strikes a chord amongst all women who are lucky enough to have the freedom to speak out for themselves. ... Read more

Reviews (66)

A Sequel Worth a Second, Third,......Reading
As two people who lived in the Kingdom of Saudi Arabia, my wife and I read and enjoyed Jean Sasson's first "Princess" book, albeit with sadness because it is all so true. We are glad to know of and admire Jean Sasoon's courage and determination in making the world aware of the plight of women in Saudi Arabia -- Saudi's own women and women of other nations. We hope to hear more on this issue in yet another book.

Does Royalty Really Pay Off!!!!
I was required to do a paper on this book for my government class. Well, I had other books to choose from, but I love to read about Royal families.

This is a very well written book, but what the Saudi women go through is very sick. I must say that I admire Princess Sultana for standing up for what she feels is only fair treatment for women. This book also exposes all the secrets of how the women royalty get treated like doormats. I think it is high time that the Western world sees what really goes on across the globe.

Since when is it alright for a husband to have numerous affairs when the wife is required to wear a veil in public and not even associate with a man who is of no relation to her? They already have more than one wife as it is, then they are allowed mistresses and nobody says a thing about it. I give a lot of credit to Princess Sultana that she did not allow her husband, Kareem to take on another wife and she put an end to his affairs by threatening divorce. Princess Sultana sure kept Kareem in line.

Princess Sultana's oldest daughter Maha ended up rebelling in her own ways. Then her son Abdullah's friend escaped with a girl the family knew to be together. Now my friends, would such a step be nessary if there were no such restrictions as to who they are to marry or not to marry?

Here is a family of enormous wealth, but of very little happiness. I don't mean just problems with Princess Sultana's children, but of her brothers, sisters and relatives as well.

Princess Sultana clarifies that she strongly believes in the Koran and from her explanations in the book, it seems that her faith does not condone treating women like they are subhumans. As I stated in another review, and it is quoted in this book: Mohammed did not ever state that a girl born is less than a boy. In fact, Mohammed states that a girl born is just as much a gift as a boy born. I may not have the exact wording here.

This book makes for interesting as well as educational reading.

Memories
I am an arabic young woman, and i loved the book. Princess Sultana conveys her opinions and she had the courage to stand up and tell the world what she was going through.

Such activities of torture and harm which were described in the book, are not allowed in arabic countries and they are unacceptable in out faith as Muslims. Our Prophit Says that a boy and a girl are equal in everything.

As for the practice of having more than one wife has a reason, which is because of the need of a husband to have children if his wife is barren, so he marrys a woman other than his wife and he keeps his original wife for a very important reson and so that loved ones are not seperated , because having mistresses is not allowed in our faith. BUT that does not mean he is allowed to be unfair between wives (Ex. spending more time or money on one more than the other) , Islam INSISTS on the importance of fairness between wives. and that men who will not be fair with their wives are not allowed in islam to marry a second because he would be harming his wife.

Arabic women are educated and are working in very high positions. the world has changed a lot since her diary has been written and published, and arabic countries have became so much better. the things that sultana's family were doing are not right things, and they must not be mistaken to be the way that arabic families are. You must keep this in mind when reading this book.

Good book, but not what I expected
I thought Princess was a very well written, and engaging book. I had no idea that some of the things discussed in the book were taking place in other areas of our world, and felt humbled that I have taken my life of freedom so easily for granted.

Sultana often makes mention of her desire to change her country for the better, and I picked up the second book expecting that I might read of ways that she has gone about making these changes. I realize that one person, let alone a woman in Saudi Arabia, cannot make these changes overnight, but I really did not see much evidence of what she is doing... just what it is she wants changed. I didn't find myself doubting any of the events she described in her second book, but I just felt that this book was written for shock value. Chapter after chapter is written of tragic events that have taken place and I finished reading the book feeling thoroughly discouraged. I do think we all need to be educated as to what is happening to women in this country, and maybe Sultana's intent is to bring about change by getting this word out to the world. I just wasn't as impressed with this book as I was the first. It is evident that Sultana is burdened by what is going on around her, and it seems that her husband supports her desire to advance women's rights, but yet they continue to live lives of amazing luxury while often standing aside and taking a hands off approach when tragedy befalls friends and family. This was a good book, but not filled with the info I was hoping to find.

Single in Saudi
For a different perspective of life as a woman in Saudi Arabia, I recommend you read Single in Saudi by Genia. It is the rollicking and revealing story of a single American nurse working and playing in Saudi Arabia. She got away with all of the things Sultana could not in this very restrictive society. ... Read more

Book Description

The book that changed the consciousness of a country—and the world. Landmark, groundbreaking, classic—these adjectives barely describe the earthshaking and long-lasting effects of Betty Friedan's The Feminine Mystique. This is the book that defined "the problem that has no name," that launched the Second Wave of the feminist movement, and has been awakening women and men with its insights into social relations, which still remain fresh, ever since. A national bestseller, with over 1 million copies sold. ... Read more

Reviews (32)

My favorite book of all time
This book makes you feel like you're right there with Friedan in the 1950's and early 60's, interviewing housewives who feel a vague but desperate emptiness in their lives. This fascinating book shows exactly how post-WWII society subtly discouraged women from ever growing up. While boys received encouragement to grow and seek out their place in the world, girls were taught to get married and live through their husbands and children, never able to forge an identity for themselves and leaving a nagging hollow spot in their psyches. The focus of the book is on how society justified and perpetuated this system (which was still going full-steam-ahead at the time the book was written), often by merely playing upon people's unquestioned assumptions.

I read this book for the first time a year ago, and I was absolutely enthralled. I had never liked history before because it never seemed real, but The Feminine Mystique opened up the past for me like no book or class ever has. The examples she gives from her interviews are very disturbing, especially considering that they were taken less than fifty years ago. She interviews students at Smith College (which was and is women-only) who unabashedly say that they would rather give up their dreams of being microbiologists or physicists because the men don't like "brainy" women. Unengaged students search frantically for men, and those who still enjoy applying themselves to their studies admit it to her in hushed tones, as if confessing a dark secret. There's not a boring page in the entirety of this thought-provoking, fascinating book.

In 1963, Betty Friedan was the first to publicly stand up for the right of women to acheive. Reading her book made me appreciate how incredibly far we've come, and how much we owe it to people like Friedan who fought for our right to become full human beings. She has earned my lifelong respect and gratitude.

profound, penetrating, rational and humane
It's common wisdom to think of the Feminine Mystique as a classical feminist text. This is perhaps the case, but I would like to argue that it is so much more than that. The book examines what society tells women about their lives -- education, career, family, sexuality, goals, values, and anything else. The book discusses what society tells women, who exactly promotes these views about femininity, out of what possible motives, and what toll do these views have on women, their family and their children. The basic thesis of the book is that femininity has been mystified, manipulated, and taught back to women, in their homes and schools and churches, in the novels and magazines they read, etc -- that this mystification of femininity is a monsterous distortion of a person's life, resulting in emotional problems, marital and family tension, stifled careers, and general unhappiness... That we -- society -- have been living in denial of the condition women have been manipulated into, and therefore have been ineffectual in our help. That there are good reasons why things are the way they are -- it's embarassing to discover just how economically profitable this distortion is.

The Feminine Mystique is profound and penetrating in that it questions a state of affairs so many of us take (or have taken) for granted. The book appeals to reason. You won't find any "masculine logic" vs. "feminine logic" stuff here; Just logic: The book is a systematic expose of the problem, its toll on women, and its toll on the rest of the family -- men and children. The book is humane and compassionate in dealing with human suffering: It doesn't place men and women on opposite sides of some battle of the sexes, but rather places all of us on the same side -- the side of the victims -- of some really bad ideas that have been dominant in society for a long time.

The book is frightening, because having read it, the magnitude and scope of women's suffering takes on a new meaning. The book is liberating, because having read it, you realise the mistakes you've made in your own life -- how you may have contributed to the problem, and you have a pretty good idea as to how to go about changing things -- your own life, and the way you deal with others. This is a great book.

ONE SIDED
This book drags on and on until your just to the point will it ever end. One page she is talking about the housewife as having to much time on her hands and the other page she is so exausted at the end of the day because of all the work she does.It seems to mainly be directed to the rich or middle class stay at home mom if you donot fit that category then don't bother to read the book. Betty would like for us all to believe that the "american housewife" is or was every woman in america, and that simply is not so I know numerous women who only dream of staying at home for their husband and children not because they want the "good life" but because they want to be there for them. No matter how femininst put it being a wife and a mother is the first responsiblity of a woman career will always be second, if you don't believe that just look at all of the children now who stay in trouble or grow to live in trouble what is the one thing they blame it on, their childhood the way they were raised they say their moms or dads were never there for them. Mrs. Friedman puts women out that stay home with their families as the ignorant woman while the woman that chased her dream and forsake her family as the hero...hmm and we wonder what's wrong with America well read this book and you will see.

Not as good as everyday acts of rebellion
I was very disappointed. I am first the title everyone knows that only women possess true mystique, second there is no reference to rebellion. Otherwise very excellent.

worth reading; worth judging
I have to appreciate Friedan the same way I have to appreciate Freud or The Beatles: because, at the time, her ideas were, some might say, revolutionary.

Although Friedan makes many acute observations, from them she tends to draw irrational conclusions. As other reviewers have stated, her work could have easily been reduced to 3 or 4 chapters.

In the first half of her book, she whines that women (as mothers) have been unfairly blamed for the various psychological woes of mankind, referencing, among others, Mr. Freud. Subsequently, however, she uses these same references to conclude that indeed mothers ARE to blame for the conditions of society--even going so far as to cite her nemesis Freud in a disturbing passage about the evils of homosexuality.

While Friedan cites many studies (of her own, and of others) featuring America's downtrodden women, these studies feature exclusively MIDDLE and UPPER-CLASS women. As she is so diligently trying to prove that college-bound/educated women are being persuaded to accept the role of housewife in liu of a richer life, she completely overlooks the many women who do not have the option of going to college (or to a Freudian-biased psychologist, or to the suburbs...).

Because of the importance of this work IN ITS TIME, I must give it 3 stars and not 2. There is--hidden amongst the whinning, ranting, and contradicting--some good material here. It is worth reading, if only because it is worth judging. ... Read more

Reviews (19)

an outstanding theoretical text...
after reviewing what other customers thought of gender trouble, i decided that it was time someone spoke in pain english.

butler's feminist text is a brilliant critical examination of gender, a must for any reader interested in feminist or queer theory. the language is difficult, yet richly rewarding...go slow, let your mind explore the many avenues butler leads her reader down. after reading gender trouble, you may like the text, you may dislike it, but there is NO way that you won't learn a great deal and be introduced to a variety of original and provocative thoughts on feminism and gender studies.

there is a reason why butler's gender trouble is widely considered one the revolutionary texts on feminist theory...so i encourage you to endure the "difficult" writing and broaden your horizons.

Sokal didn't get it all right
To the previous reviewers who criticize Butler's work as evidence of postmodernism's failure to communicate to those not of the academy, or to those poor girls who have not yet learned to read, I would submit that you are profoundly missing the point. The strength of Butler's text should not be judged on its ability to "help" people; she is an academic whose work was one of the, if not the, seminal text in the area of postmodern feminist theory. Stop using the Sokal debacle as proof of the inapplicability of Butler's work to people's "real" lives. The drag queens certainly wouldn't appreciate it. Rather, Butler is writing in and responding to, highly complicated texts that have preceded her and that demand a vocabulary which challenges its readers. Either meet the challenge or stop blaming it all on postmodern nomenclature which, though difficult, has offered an important and necessary body of literature to academia. Sokal's article (while indeed funny) made its point that postmodernism can sometimes get carried away with itself. But it also demonstrated the refusal of reactionaries to take seriously the essentialism and shortcomings of structuralist theory. When those poor girls learn how to read (and for all you know Butler could have spent twenty years as a literacy volunteer), I'll be sure to hand them a copy of Gender Trouble before sending them off on their merry way to subvert the dominant paradigm.

essential reading
Although many ideas in Gender Trouble are not entirely new or anything (please do read the first 30 pages of Teresa de Lauretis 'Technologies of Gender', which contains in more accessible prose many of the arguments put forward in Gender Trouble), this book seems to have appeared at just the right time; over the last 10 years it has had a major influence on thinking about gender in a wide variety of scholarship, and for this reason alone it is worth reading. Don't be disencouraged by all the stuff on Freud and Lacan in the second chapter, just read on: it's worth the effort. Butler's reading of Kristeva, however, seems somewhat unfair, one-sided if you will; don't be fooled in thinking Kristeva is not worth reading. But in all, Gender Trouble
is a must read for anyone interested in gender/queer theory, feminism, or politics in general!

difficult, but important
Though I agree with what others have written of Butler's prose, I think her approach to the ubiquitous "nature versus nurture" question of gender is an important one (politically, socially, culturally, psychologically...) At times her rhetoric is questionable & her ideas somewhat biased (to the point of bordering on... well, less than practical). However, that should not, by any means, dissuade anyone from reading her work. Despite the difficulties it might present, "Gender Trouble" is challenging, thoughtful and thought-provoking-- an enlightening experience for anyone willing to put forth some effort.

Worth the effort
While Butler's prose can be described as convoluted (and frequently is!), it is difficult because of its precision. In the murky world of "sex", "gender", "man/woman", "male/female", "masculine/feminine", "sexuality" and "sexual orientation", Butler navigates with cat-like agility. Butler's theories represent a leap forward in gender/sexuality theory and readingunderstanding them is well worth the effort. ... Read more

Reviews (8)

Loved This Fine Book
I found the book most enlightening. It seems that so much of religous thought and teaching of Judao/Chritian religions Leave out the feminine voices and personalities of the old testament. I was very impressed with what these women accomplished with their lives and with Layne Redmond's midrash type commentary after each. I learned more than I have for years about God / Goddess working through people.

Brave, resonant, sensual and spiritual.
Miki River gives voice to the voices we have never really heard before, although their names and circumstances are well known to us. Finally, the power and the glory of these utterly modern women resonate deeply and joyfully.

A brilliant, sensual view into the lives of biblical women
An amazingly clear view into the lives of women of the bible. The greatness of this work, besides its unbelievable clarity and great beauty is its connection to women of today. Delilah and Monica Lewinsky have more in common than just a beautiful face and an attraction to strong men. Wow! I really love this book.

A "must" for everyone, especially young adults.
This is an enlightening piece of work. I suggest it for everyone, especially young men and women entering adulthood. It makes a great Bar or Bat Mitzvah gift!!!

What a joy !
To combine great beauty, wonderful words, and intelligent insight in a book is a triumph. The highest recommendation for any reader of truth and beauty. ... Read more

Book Description

"Doing Justice, Doing Gender is a much-needed analysis of women’s work and position throughout the criminal justice system. A comparative analysis of women who work in the legal profession, policing, and corrections is accomplished through a detailed study of both the gendered nature of work women do and the changing organizational dynamics operating over time in each occupation. This book will be of tremendous use to students in criminology, occupational sociology, and women’s studies."

--Natalie J. Sokoloff, Professor of Sociology,

John Jay College of Criminal Justice and the Graduate School, City University of New York

"Susan Ehrlich Martin and Nancy C. Jurik explore here ''the organization of justice occupations along gender lines'' in a clear, systematic fashion. They explicate how and why the logic of sexism is pervasive in law, policing, and corrections. This engaging and persuasive book should become fundamental reading in the criminal justice field."

--Peter K. Manning, Professor of Sociology and Criminal Justice, Michigan State University

"Doing Justice, Doing Gender is the first book to provide a thorough examination of women as police officers, lawyers, and correctional officers in the United States. It is well researched and explains the many obstacles women have encountered when they entered the male-dominated workplace of our justice system. This book is important for anyone considering a career in the criminal justice system."

--Donna C. Hale, Department of Criminal Justice, Shippensburg University, Pennsylvania

"Doing Justice, Doing Gender is the most sophisticated and comprehensive analysis to date of gender in the criminal justice system. With both insight and compassion, Susan Ehrlich Martin and Nancy C. Jurik bring to life women’s experiences and contributions in justice occupations. Essential reading for students, scholars, and practitioners of law, policing, and corrections."

--James W. Messerschmidt, Professor of Sociology,

University of Southern Maine and author of Masculinities and Crime

The numbers of women working in justice occupations have dramatically increased over the past 20 years, yet zealous resistance to their full integration continues. As women have moved into justice fields traditionally occupied by men, they have encountered obstacles that confine them to gender-specific tasks and limit their advancement. Coworkers and superiors continue to equate competence with masculinity. Providing readers with insight into the long-standing struggles of women in justice occupations, Doing Justice, Doing Gender takes a close look at the organization of justice occupations along gender lines. Discussion focuses broadly on the field of law, both civil and criminal, and on municipal policing and correctional security. Following a feminist approach, authors Susan Ehrlich Martin and Nancy C. Jurik address:

- the historical roles of women in the justice system

- how and why women’s contributions have expanded in the past 20 years

- interpersonal, organizational, occupational, and societal barriers encountered by women justice workers

- women’s responses to workplace barriers and their impact on the justice system, victims, offenders, litigants, coworkers, and the public

- the interplay between race and gender in shaping women’s experiences and responses

But Doing Justice, Doing Gender not only provides a theoretical analysis of the social construction of gender in the workplace; it offers an accessible and well-written examination of gender issues and how they affect the women in justice occupations on a day-to-day basis. Filling a gap in the literature, this volume provides valuable and cutting-edge information for students, researchers, and justice professionals.

Reviews (1)

It's time to break through the stereotypes!
The myths that perpetuate about women in law enforcement undermine the positive impact women have on reducing violence in our society. Kudos to Susan Martin for helping to raise awareness and set the record straight. We must increase the visibility of women who have the courage to break through the stereotypes, and promote educational programs and media strategies that provide a true picture of women's achievements in law enforcement. ... Read more

Book Description

"Will empower all women to stop believing that our bodies are the problems, dieting the solution."

--Harriet Lerner, Ph.D.

Author of The Dance of Anger

In this revolutionary new book, bestselling authors Carol Munter and Jane Hirschmann explore the myriad reasons why women cling to diets despite overwhelming evidence that diets don't work. In fact, diets turn us into compulsive eaters who are obsessed with food and weight.

Munter and Hirschmann call this syndrome "Bad Body Fever" and demonstrate how "bad body thoughts" are clues to our emotional lives. They explore the difficulties women encounter replacing dieting with demand feeding. And finally, they teach us how to think about our problems rather than eat about them--so that food can resume its proper place in our lives.

"Many women will find in these pages exactly what they need: determined, optimistic, and resourceful coaches, pausing at the right moments to acknowledge the difficulty of change, then passionately urging them to press on."

--Susan C. Wooley, Ph.D.

Professor of Psychology

Codirector, Eating Disorders Center

University of Cincinnati Medical Center

... Read more

Reviews (15)

When Women Stop Hating Their Bodies
I am a recovering anorexic and reading this book has been the biggest help on my road to recovery. Not only that but I recommend this book to any woman who has ever dieted or has ever felt unhappy with her body. this book is empowering spiritually, mentally and physically. I read this book like I read the Bible and I want every woman out there to realize that fat is not bad, food is not the enemy and that there is nothing wrong with the way you are at this very moment. If you ever do anything for yourself and your mental state of mind, read this book, you will feel so much better after the first day !

This is an empowering and compelling feminist resource.
This book will change your way of thinking about yourself and about your role in society. It explains in detail the way women associate many of their problems with food. It encourages you to change and to love yourself unconditionally, and to learn to be a gentle caretaker to yourself. It really is a rewarding experience to read and live by the philosophies explained. Living without unhealthy body obsessions, but instead with love, will lead you to a much happier existence. I encourage you to read this, even if you don't think you have an eating problem. The book really applies to all women. Learn to love yourself, and stop hating your body! I highly reccommend this, obviously...:)

Good ideas, bad plan
There is a great idea at the core of this book: Women hate their bodies because there is a constant cultural onslaught which tells women that you can only be valuable if you are thin. (Though the authors don't delve into the idea that in addition to being thin you have to be young and pretty, in my opinion, that it is also part of the cultural message.) So, to the extent that the authors delve into the emotional costs of that message, this is a great book. Yes, we should love our bodies...they are beautiful whatever their size, appearance or age. And, women's bodies have the extraordinary ability to create life.

Where this book lost me was in the example of one woman who has made "peace" with her body. This woman carries a goodie bag around and eats candy, pies, high fat foods. But, all while at peace with "listening" to her body and responding to what she preceives as her bodies true desires (freed from cultural pressures.)

Well, frankly, this woman, in my opinion isn't treating her body as if she loves it. She is treating her body by a seemingly constant ingestion of foods which do not nourish her body. If her body then responds by additional weight, and the problems with come from additional weight, she is "at peace" with her body, any issues come from the oppressive male culture, and she'll just munch happily along.

I think that the authors would better serve their reading public if they emphasized that loving your body doesn't mean malnourishing your body. It seems to me a far more empowering message to tell women that they have much to offer the world and can offer that more effectively by eating healthfully and living healthfully.

Best book out there on food/body obession
The best book out there on eating/weight obsession (I'd also recommend books by Geneen Roth & Susie Orbach). Well-written, realistic, and honest. You'll be wasting your money on ANY book that talks about dieting...this book gets to the root of eating problems, instead of offering short-term solutions.

Feminist Diatribe
This book has got to be the most self-indulgent book I have ever read, and I did not find it helpful at all (being overweight myself). While I do agree that overeating & other food behaviors can point to a tendency to avoid emotional issues I think it is very misleading to insist that this is always so. While I do believe that beating yourself up endlessly is counter-productive this notion of continual "body talk" and conversations with body parts and the "inner caretaker" seems excessive. To atrribute eating behavior to male opression of females, and that this gives rise to something the authors call "Bad Body Fever" is a way of saying that women can't help but be influenced by the male-dominated culture, which I do not believe. To me books of this kind speak volumes about the self-obsessed nature of American culture overall than anything else. The often-heard phrase "sometimes a cigar is just a cigar" applies here: I say that sometimes overeating is just overeating. It's time for psychobable to simply take it's place in the grand variety of human experience and stop being used as the touchstone and only real answer to all of life's problems. Unless you want to spend endless hours blaming culture for your difficulty, or scraping through your childhood and psychie for the "real answer" don't bother with this book. ... Read more

Book Description

Reviews (1)

An Inspiring and Humorous Book by a Multi-talented Writer!!!
With Swimming Lessons, biographer Penelope Niven has proven that not only can she get at the heart of other people's stories but also that she herself is as interesting a subject as anyone she has written about--maybe more so. And as with her many other superb books, Swimming Lessons is written in her signature lyrical style but with the added personal bonus of her generous good humor. I have found myself repeatedly re-reading passages of it for the sheer beauty of the language or for the ready smile it brings to my soul.

For example, Niven advises us to "Learn the constructive art of Checking Baggage." After listing the numerous kinds of bags she routinely takes on vacation, she says, "When I go swimming, I take my purse and a large swimming bag bursting with items I consider essential for preparing to swim, swimming, showering after swimming, and dressing to go home after swimming. I would not think of setting off on a trip or a swim without all my stuff. But I certainly would not think of carrying all my stuff every moment I am traveling or swimming. I load my luggage and shopping bags and cooler in the car. I lock my swimming gear in the locker in the dressing room.

"You don't have to carry all of your baggage all of the time. You can't. If you spend all your energy hauling thebaggage around, you'll be too exhausted to move forward, or even to float. Check the baggage. Compartmentalize... I can't swim and, at the same time, carry my towel, my clothes, my shampoo, my hair dryer, and my car keys. I can't write with all my mind and heart and, at the same time, focus on my concerns about my parents' health; my daughter's grief over her father's death; my grief over his death; my brother's ongoing recovery from a stroke; my students' struggles to get into graduate school, get published, get jobs; and my world's struggle for peace, prosperity, justice, survival. When I write, I write...When I swim, I swim. I entrust the other endeavors of my life to the safety of the locker."

Furthermore, it is Niven's so-called "overjubilance" that strikes a fresh chord in our discordant world, post 9-11. We should be so lucky that there is at least one among us who has the good sense to go overboard with her love and enthusiasm.

Do something good for yourself. If you can't quit smoking, then at least read this book. You'll be overjubilant you did. ... Read more

Book Description

Most of the people around us belong to our world not directly, as kin or comrades, but as strangers. How do we recognize them as members of our world? We are related to them as transient participants in common publics. Indeed, most of us would find it nearly impossible to imagine a social world without publics. In the eight essays in this book, Michael Warner addresses the question: What is a public?

According to Warner, the idea of a public is one of the central fictions of modern life. Publics have powerful implications for how our social world takes shape, and much of modern life involves struggles over the nature of publics and their interrelations. The idea of a public contains ambiguities, even contradictions. As it is extended to new contexts, politics, and media, its meaning changes in ways that can be difficult to uncover.

Combining historical analysis, theoretical reflection, and extensive case studies, Warner shows how the idea of a public can reframe our understanding of contemporary literary works and politics and of our social world in general. In particular, he applies the idea of a public to the junction of two intellectual traditions: public-sphere theory and queer theory. ... Read more