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$11.16 $8.68 list($13.95)
1. Twenty Things Adopted Kids Wish
$12.71 $10.00 list($14.95)
2. LifeBooks : Creating a Treasure
$10.17 $8.25 list($14.95)
3. The Lost Daughters of China: Abandoned
$10.46 $7.82 list($13.95)
4. Raising Adopted Children, Revised
$16.29 $9.50 list($23.95)
5. Love in the Driest Season
$18.00 $15.72 list($22.50)
6. How to Adopt Internationally:
$5.39 $3.95 list($5.99)
7. They Cage the Animals at Night
$22.98 list($22.95)
8. Ten Thousand Sorrows : The Extraordinary
$13.50 $9.94 list($15.00)
9. The Primal Wound: Understanding
$11.20 $8.25 list($14.00)
10. Being Adopted : The Lifelong Search
$13.97 $12.30 list($19.95)
11. Real Parents, Real Children ;
$16.95 $7.50
12. Adopting the Older Child
$12.71 $8.00 list($14.95)
13. Dear Birthmother
$16.47 $16.42 list($24.95)
14. Attaching in Adoption: Practical
$14.96 $14.74 list($22.00)
15. Parenting the Hurt Child : Helping
$10.17 $7.50 list($14.95)
16. The Post-Adoption Blues : Overcoming
$18.66 $16.95 list($21.95)
17. Help for the Hopeless Child: A
$23.06 $23.01 list($32.95)
18. The Russian Adoption Handbook:
$12.89 $8.62 list($18.95)
19. Our Chosen Child: How You Came
$12.89 $12.36 list($18.95)
20. Cross Cultural Adoption: How To

1. Twenty Things Adopted Kids Wish Their Adoptive Parents Knew
by Sherrie Eldridge
list price: $13.95
our price: $11.16
(price subject to change: see help)
Asin: 044050838X
Catlog: Book (1999-10-12)
Publisher: Delta
Sales Rank: 5384
Average Customer Review: 3.95 out of 5 stars
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Book Description

"Birthdays may be difficult for me."

"I want you to take the initiative in opening conversations about my birth family."

"When I act out my fears in obnoxious ways, please hang in there with me."

"I am afraid you will abandon me."

The voices of adopted children are poignant, questioning. And they tell a familiar story of loss, fear, and hope. This extraordinary book, written by a woman who was adopted herself, gives voice to children's unspoken concerns, and shows adoptive parents how to free their kids from feelings of fear, abandonment, and shame.

With warmth and candor, Sherrie Eldridge reveals the twenty complex emotional issues you must understand to nurture the child you love--that he must grieve his loss now if he is to receive love fully in the future--that she needs honest information about her birth family no matter how painful the details may be--and that although he may choose to search for his birth family, he will always rely on you to be his parents.

Filled with powerful insights from children, parents, and experts in the field, plus practical strategies and case histories that will ring true for every adoptive family, Twenty Things Adopted Kids Wish Their Adoptive Parents Knew is an invaluable guide to the complex emotions that take up residence within the heart of the adopted child--and within the adoptive home.
... Read more

Reviews (104)

2-0 out of 5 stars Too Angst Oriented
As an adopted person and a full-time stepmom, I found this book to focus way too much on the negative and on angst. I certainly had my share of issues as a teen, but I really don't think they are all traced back to my adoption and the six months I spent in a home prior to being placed in a family. Also, even though I am in contact with my biological family, my adoptive parents are my parents. That is how all involved think of the situation. In naming a book about adoption, I would never think to use the term adoptive parents. In fact, I had never considered the term before recently doing research for an assigned class topic in grad school. There is a sever lack of positive and empowering books about adoption, particularly for teens, and this book does not fulfill that need either, much to my disappointment. When my daughter begins questioning what the situation is with her Mom and discussing whether I will adopt her, I really want one for her to read!

5-0 out of 5 stars Required Reading for Adoptive Parents
As an adoptive parent of three children adopted from state foster care, I found this book to be honest and helpful.

We adoptive parents don't always want to hear that our children will experience pain and loss. We wish we could make it all better. But Eldridge helps us understand that to help our children move beyond their losses, we must acknowledge them. The first step in doing this is realizing our children have different issues than biological children. They have lost their first parents, and often lost foster parents and other loved ones as well. This inescapable fact may affect them for a lifetime.

Eldridge writes eloquently about the feelings of abandonment, loss and grief that adopted children often feel. She demystifies the common beliefs that adopted children will simply "forget" their losses, or that good parenting means adoptees won't want to search for birth parents (or, conversely, that only unhappy adoptees want to search).

With so many books on adoption today written by adoptive parents, it is nice to see a book written by an adoptee. The perspective of Eldridge is welcome and necessary in adoption literature. She deserves kudos for the courage to write so openly about her private feelings and fears.

1-0 out of 5 stars Do NOT make this your first or only adoption read
Frankly, after reading this book I nearly pulled the plug on our adoption process. It certainly gave me food for thought, but her notions of the Primal Wound left me reeling, and she put such a negative spin on adoption that I wondered why on earth anyone would want to do it. Fortunately our adoption agency offers some terrific pre-adoption workshops and I have regained a much more optomistic outlook about the whole process. I wish the author had acknowledged in a meaningful way that adoption is treated much differently today than it was when she was a child. We'd all be foolish not to think that our children will not have some emotional and/or developmental issues related to their adoption, but I felt this book took an extreme and damaging approach.

5-0 out of 5 stars A Must Read for All within the Triangle
I am neither adoptee,adoptive parent or birth parent.I am outside of the triangle. However I have a huge awareness of adoption issues as a result of personal experience. A relation of mine asked would I find her son, (who was adoped to the USA at the age of 4 from Ireland, before she died.) I spent the next four months searching for this relation of mine, only to find he had died in very sad circumstances, three years earlier.I spent the next three years helping adoptees, birtmothers find each other.
I discovered very quickly that it was an "emotional minefield". The ammount of hurt I encountered caused a lot of stress in my own life. I started reading anything I could find on the whole area of adoption(thanks to I read all Liftons books, Verniers Primal Wound, Brodinskys and a host more. Between them and my experience in the field, I got an insite into the whole area of adoption.
Two years ago, I purchased Twenty Things adopted kids....... Knew.
I felt it summed up very well from a practical point of view, my experience to date.
I would appeal especially to adoptive parents to read this book. You might not like what you read, but further on down the road if you take on board the feeling and emotions expressed by adoptees, you are the "real parents" of these little understood children.

4-0 out of 5 stars A bit one-sided
As a 35-yr.-old adoptee who was adopted as a toddler, I could relate to practically everything in this book. I found myself saying yes, yes, yes---somebody understands, finally.

But adoption is not a one-size-fits-all subject, and this book implies that everyone who is adopted experiences the same feelings of rejection and loss. And that is simply not true.

If you're adopting a newborn, this book is probably not for you, but I believe that it is a must-read for all other adoptive parents. And if you are an adolescent or adult adoptee who is struggling to come to terms with your adoption, as this author obviously did, this book might help you to understand why you feel the way you do. ... Read more

2. LifeBooks : Creating a Treasure for the Adopted Child
by Beth O'Malley
list price: $14.95
our price: $12.71
(price subject to change: see help)
Asin: 0970183275
Catlog: Book (2000-06-22)
Publisher: Adoption-Works
Sales Rank: 10167
Average Customer Review: 4.93 out of 5 stars
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Book Description

From Alaska to Australia the word is spreading. Adoptive parents are discovering the enormous value of adoption lifebooks. But then the questions begin. Where do I start? What information should be included? Do I let my child bring it to school?

Beth O’Malley M.Ed. provides the answers to these and more. In her best selling book, LifeBooks: Creating a Treasure for the Adopted Child Beth guides you though the process, step-by-step and page by page as if she were right there with you.

Learn about the difference between a scrapbook or baby book and a lifebook. Or explaining tough truths, dealing with secrets and which pages are essential.

Newly revised 2002

Dozens of real life stories

Lists of hard-to-find lifebook resource websites

Sample pages for international and domestic

Special waiting parent section.

If you get really stuck, there are three full-length examples in the back section, including one for China adoptions.

Her life experiences as an adoptee combined with doing lifebook seminars with adoptive parents all over the country, gives Beth a special perspective on lifebooks. Most importantly, Beth has made countless lifebooks with children in her role as an adoption specialist in Massachusetts.

Beth O’Malley has helped thousands of adoptive families give their children the answers and security they crave.

This book is an indispensable guide to making your child’s lifebook. You will refer to it for years to come! ... Read more

Reviews (14)

5-0 out of 5 stars Lifebooks Creating A Treasure For The Adopted Child
As an adoptive parent and an adoption educator, I have looked at many, many books and other sources on the topic of "creating a lifebook." This book is by far the most enlightened, meaningful and relevant book out there. I have already bought several copies for my friends and for our homstudy agency. Most so called lifebooks focus on scrapbooking concepts. This is the only one I have found that talks about CONTENT. Not only what to write about, but WHY certain information needs to be included. It's really a "How-to on Lifebooks" AND a "Talking About Adoption" book rolled into one. The author has a a gift (and a unique and credible perspective) for synthesizing this critical and delicate topic into a clear and actionable tool for adoptive families. I have been putting off creating a lifebook for my two internationally adopted children for the last three years because the task seemed so daunting. After reading this book I was actually excited about getting started. Best of all I did it -and I urge any adoptive parent to buy this book!

5-0 out of 5 stars You Owe It to Yourself and Your Child
Beth O'Malley understands adoption, both from her perspective as an adoptee and from her many years in working with adoptive families. Her experience, understanding and compassion shine through in this helpful, step-by-step guide.

Beth walks with you through the process, and makes even the toughest questions seem easy to handle. Don't delay. You owe it to yourself and your child to get this book and start creating your child's lifebook.

5-0 out of 5 stars Very helpful to adoptive parents
As with some other great adoption books on the market, I wish this one had existed when our child was small. She is now 34 years old and a mother, and I still wish to create a lifebook for/with her using O'Malley's wonderful guide. But it's never too late! I will make sure that my friends, who have adopted children, will have a copy of this delightful book.

Gisela Gasper Fitzgerald, author of ADOPTION: An Open, Semi-Open or Closed Practice?

5-0 out of 5 stars Finally, a book with useful advice.
We recently adopted our foster child (whom we've had since birth) and I was at a loss as to what types of things to put in her lifebook. This book was VERY helpful in giving information, tips and ideas of information that needed to be included. We now have our 2nd foster child (that we hope to adopt) and this book has made it much easier to get a jump-start on her lifebook.

5-0 out of 5 stars Lifebook Inspiration
Beth O'Malley's book is an inspiration to any family born through adoption. I never had a clear understanding of what a lifebook is until reading her book. I adopted my daughter from China in 1997 and had yet to write her lifebook. When I received the book, I read it in one sitting and immediately began to write the text for my daughter's lifebook! Finally! The information I sought was described and formatted in easy to follow directions. My daughter's lifebook is almost completed. I highly recommend this book to ALL families that have children born to their family through adoption. The lifebook story has made a significant impact on my daughter and brought up many opportunities for us to discuss birthparents and her feelings about her birthfamily. You won't be disappointed with this purchase! ... Read more

3. The Lost Daughters of China: Abandoned Girls, Their Journey to America, and the Search for a Missing Past
by Karin Evans
list price: $14.95
our price: $10.17
(price subject to change: see help)
Asin: 1585421170
Catlog: Book (2001-10-01)
Publisher: Jeremy P. Tarcher
Sales Rank: 2975
Average Customer Review: 4.62 out of 5 stars
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Book Description

"This book calls attention to the pressing issues of abandoned baby girls in China, the result of a combination of historical and cultural prejudices against women and the current draconian, one-child policy. The Lost Daughters of China is an evocative memoir that will not only attract parents or would-be parents of Chinese baby girls but will touch the hearts of us all."(Chicago Tribune)

Proclaimed an instant classic upon its hardcover publication, The Lost Daughters of China is at once compelling and informative. Journalist Karin Evans tells the story of adopting her daughter, Kelly, who was once one of the hundreds of thousands of infant girls who wait for parents in orphanages all over China. Weaving her personal account with extensive research, Evans investigates the conditions that have led to generations of abandoned Chinese girls and a legacy of lost women.

With a new epilogue added for the paperback edition, this book will appeal to anyone interested in China and in the emotional ties that connect people regardless of genes or culture. In the words of bestselling novelist Amy Tan, The Lost Daughters of China is "not only an evocative memoir on East-West adoption but also a bridge to East-West understanding of human rights in China."
... Read more

Reviews (40)

3-0 out of 5 stars Read Selectively
I had read an excerpt of this book in the San Francisco Examiner (describing the paper chase process and the trip to China to get her daughter) and that, coupled with Chapter 4, The One Child, Maybe More Policy, gave me a cogent picture of Chinese adoption. On the negative side, I felt that there were organizational problems with the arrangement of the chapters, and within the chapters themselves, and that the prose was sometimes meandering, moving around from one topic to another - an editing issue as much as a writing one. There were too many quotes from other books, which felt like 'padding' to me. I'm more interested in first hand experience and research. I look forward to the time when China is more open and women who have abandoned their daughters can speak for themselves about their experience.

5-0 out of 5 stars Great reading on China Adoption!!
I must admit that this is the ONE book that WILL make you cry! We have done this "amazing" journey ourselves (adopting in China) and it is the best book I have ever read, and even recommended to my entire family to understand the tedious process of our daughter's amazing adoption. I have bought three copies (one to keep for my daughter) and 2 for relatives! Amazing reading! You will read it over and over again and never get tired of it! It is a book I will treasure forever!

5-0 out of 5 stars Thank- you Karin!
Wow! Marvelously written. It is informative, thought provoking, insightful and stirring. Karin Evans has done a great service to all those who have or will adopt from China, their families and anyone interested in understanding or getting a glimpse of the situation in China that has led to these precious girls being abandoned and their hope for tomorrow.

5-0 out of 5 stars Must Read for Families Who are Adopting From China
Evans combines her personal journey that led her to adopt a girl from China with statistics and facts about why these girls are in orphanages in the first place. I disagree with many of the reviewers who say that this book is schmaltzy. It is one of those books that you just don't want to put down. We are in the midst of adopting from China and it was wonderful to read about Evan's experience. We have given this book to aunts and uncles of our soon to be daughter and everyone has been glad to have read it for they learned a lot. It dispelled a lot of myths that they had about China and adoption.

5-0 out of 5 stars Perfect for adoptive extended family
I was delightfully surpised by this book. I'm an aunt-to-be of a neice from China and have been looking for any information I can find for family members of adoptive parents. This book turned out to fit the bill perfectly. Evans beautifully interweaves her own story of her daughter's adoption with a broader, factual picture of international adoption from China. Although this is only one family's experience, it enlightened me on what my relatives will and are going through on their adoption journey. It also filled in many of the gaps in my knowledge of China's infamous "one child" policy and how this affects women and children's lives in China every day. It is chilling when Evans gives statistics on the number of China's daughters that have been lost. And yet at the same time you can not help but be filled with hope to read of the perfect matches between adoptive parents and their Chinese daughters. Evans approaches her subject with obvious thoughtfulness and care and you can't help but care right along with her. I recommend this book not only for adoptive parents but grandparents, aunts, uncles, and friends of parents adopting from China. ... Read more

4. Raising Adopted Children, Revised Edition : Practical Reassuring Advice for Every Adoptive Parent
by Lois Ruskai Melina
list price: $13.95
our price: $10.46
(price subject to change: see help)
Asin: 0060957174
Catlog: Book (1998-08-01)
Publisher: Perennial
Sales Rank: 11830
Average Customer Review: 4.23 out of 5 stars
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"Some people may describe adoption as difficult; others simply describe it as different.I am inclined to think of it as complex," writes Lois Ruskai Melina in the updated, revised Raising Adopted Children: Practical, Reassuring Advice for Every Adoptive Parent.

Adoption practices have evolved considerably since this book's first publication in 1986, and the new version of the "Dr. Spock for adoptive parents" reflects the latest theories. Drawing on the findings and practices of pediatricians, social workers, scientists, and adoptive parents, Raising Adopted Children is carefully and thoroughly researched.Chapters on open adoption, international adoption, and transracial adoption are combined with advice on bonding and attachment, breast-feeding an adoptive infant (possible but complicated), dealing with schools, privacy issues, adopting a child with disabilities, adopting as a single parent, and the challenges of adolescence. While Melina's many years of professional and personal experience shape her advice, she remains very evenhanded. For example, she's a strong proponent of the "early telling" theory of adoption (being open about the adoption with the child from the beginning), but she also clearly presents other points of view, and, throughout the book, encourages parents to make decisions that feel right for them.

The text includes specific suggestions for explaining a child's birth circumstances, including common misconceptions, and a valuable discussion about whether adoptees are at greater risk for behavior problems or learning disabilities. She also provides suggestions for setting rules for contact with biological parents, easing grief, and acknowledging a child's history. A completely annotated list of selected references and resources rounds out this superior guide. --Ericka Lutz ... Read more

Reviews (13)

4-0 out of 5 stars Great for preadoptive parents, yet a bit unrealistic
Most of the information in this book is very helpful and thought provoking. She used research from many sources, which I found to be very helpful since there is so much to consider with adoption decisions. I can appreciate her advice on communicating to the child about adoption, and do agree with most of it; however, I disagree with the ages that she suggests to bring up certain topics. She seems to give the idea that small children are capable of understanding adult issues. Everything else is great and I would highly recommend reading this book.

5-0 out of 5 stars Practical, reassuring advice for every adoptive parent.
As a new adoptive parent in 1980, I wanted to know what I could expect. The traditional sources of child care information were not useful to me. They talked about the importance of natural childbirth and breastfeeding to bonding and attachment, but didn't talk about how to breastfeed an adopted child or how a child not born to his parents would grow to love them. I wrote the first edition of "Raising Adopted Children" to let parents know what to expect from the time they took their child home until the time that child leaves home. This new edition of "Raising Adopted Children" reflects changes in adoption over the past 12 years, including the increase in adoptions from China and Eastern Europe and the unique issues arising from those situations. It incorporates the most recent research into various aspects of adoption, including the psychological impact of adoption, and the outcomes for children from orphanages and children who were prenatally exposed to drugs, as well as for children adopted as healthy infants. In addition to 12 more years of research, this book reflects 12 more years of personal experience. My children, just preschoolers when I wrote the first edition, are now 15 and 18. My oldest is leaving home to attend college and my youngest is beginning the quest for identity and independence. I believe I can reassure adoptive parents that the satisfaction of being an adoptive parent continues and the deep love we feel for our children grows.

5-0 out of 5 stars The Best Gift Anyone Considering Adoption Can Give Themself!
This is the first book on adoption I read, as we prepared for our adoption classes, and it will be kept in our home as a reference for many years to come. This book effectively explains adoption terms, conditions, and issues in an easy to understand and non-condescending way. It helped my husband to understand some mixed feelings I had about adoption as opposed to conception. It addresses attachment, authority, and smooth transition. My only complaint is I wish it had focused more on older adoptions instead of infant adoptions, but then, this book is more of a broad-range reference and therefore has to cover a lot of ground. A must read for anyone considering adoption!

4-0 out of 5 stars Excellent info, dry writing, exceedingly PC
I'm only half way through this book but I think it has some really great information. My DH and I are planning to adopt but haven't officially started the process yet. This book is giving us lots of issues to think about. It provides good examples of positive language for discussing adoption with your child. The author doesn't shy away from the hard issues like racism or a history of incest. She does a great job of integrating child/teen development into all issues. She cites many studies to support her advice. The writing is rather dry (much like my own) and academic, which is actually useful. I trust this author because her writing isn't colored by a lot of emotion. She uses plenty of real-life examples from the experiences of adoptive families. The book does suffer a little from being broad and trying to address all flavors of adoption (domestic & international, same race and transracial). I highly reccomend this book to anyone considering adoption as a way to start conversations with your spouse about the hard issues you will face as adoptive parents. Might even be a good idea to share it with extended family.

5-0 out of 5 stars Raising Adopted Children by Melina
This is a complete work for couples or individuals planning
to adopt children over the long term. The book provides a
guided research through the various child development stages
which include adjustment to a new family, bonding, open adoption, cultural identity and special situations.
The author describes the need to have realistic expectations.
The work is a "must read" for anyone planning to adopt
a child or multiple children. The book outlines the
typical problems encountered and various alternatives to
managing the stresses of the adoption process. ... Read more

5. Love in the Driest Season
list price: $23.95
our price: $16.29
(price subject to change: see help)
Asin: 0609609769
Catlog: Book (2004-02-17)
Publisher: Crown
Sales Rank: 14278
Average Customer Review: 4.75 out of 5 stars
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Reviews (8)

5-0 out of 5 stars Love in the Driest Season
I read this book in one day and it gripped me from the 1st page. I ran the gammot of emotions from pity to outrage, to happiness, and excitement. Neely and Vita are strong and very determined people who allowed nothing to stop them in their quest to make Chipo their daughter. If I thought I COULD I would be adopting a child so desperately in need but the government needs to make SWEEPING changes in order to give these poor sick deglected babies even the smallest chance at life and love. You will come away deeply affected by this book,

3-0 out of 5 stars Many fascinating stories in one..... too rushed...
I recommend this book but be warned....
Neely Tucker's life as a foriegn correspondent required he write quick short summaries and that habit left this book choppy and somewhat confusing. There is so much more that could be said about his historic childhood, his rise from poverty, his heroic life as a foreign correspondent, his brave marriage and then his life with his daughter. Neely lived 'large'. This was a big life and needed a bigger book.
Glad I read it ...would like to read more.

5-0 out of 5 stars For the love of a child.
Neely Tucker, a white journalist posted in Zimbabwe, and his wife Vita, a black woman, fall in love with a female infant in an orphanage in that country. The baby's name is Chipo, which means "gift" in the local language. The story, a family memoir, details the couple's attempts to adopt this baby with whom they have fallen in love. The story also explains the political situation in Zimbabwe, which is unstable and volatile, especially toward foreign journalists. There is also a great deal of information about the AIDS crisis in Africa, and how this dread disease has impacted so many families and created millions of orphans. These three topics were interwoven in the book to make a fascinating and extremely interesting story. I could feel the Tuckers' frustration with the bureaucratic red tape they had to wade through in order to someday adopt Chipo. I admired their tenacity--all because of their intense love for this beautiful baby. It would be interesting to follow this little girl into adulthood, and I hope Neely Tucker has such a possibility in mind.

5-0 out of 5 stars A Wrenching, Ultimately Wonderful Story
Despite being a wonderful book, LOVE IN THE DRIEST SEASON was difficult to read. Or maybe I should say, "Because it is a wonderful book."

This is a wrenching, ultimately wonderful tale of an American couple who adopts a child. Most, if not all, adoption stories are unique and traumatic at times. This one surpasses a lot of assumptions. For one thing, Neely and Vita Tucker are anything but an average married couple. Both raised in rural Mississippi, they carry with them memories and experiences of American racism. Neely is white; his wife Vita, eleven years his senior, is black. Neely is an experienced war correspondent who has worked for years at the Detroit Free Press, covering the horrors of war, torture and ugliness all over the world. When he and Vita (who has a degree in liberation theology and a background as a paralegal and researcher) move to Zimbabwe so that Neely can serve as the Free Press's African correspondent, they search for something to do in their community.

Ultimately, they end up at an orphanage that is overwhelmed with abandoned children. Many, indeed most of the children at Chinyaradzo Children's Home, have been orphaned by parents who died of AIDS. In past times, children were not abandoned, but taken in by extended families; now, there are few families that can take up the burden. A baby girl named Chipo, or "gift," catches Neely and Vita's eyes and they decide to try to adopt her. They cannot have children of their own, which is seen as a tragedy by the people they meet in Zimbabwe.

Realizing the irony of trying to save one child in the face of the devastation of AIDS, an uncaring and massively overburdened government and the amazing disdain (even paranoia) of President Robert Mugabe, Neely, during this story, is still traveling all over Africa as a reporter. Unlike some reporters who are almost too good at being objective, Neely relates every spin, every defeat, every feeling that these people went through in order to save Chipo's life. They took Chipo in not knowing if she had AIDS, and fought month after month to keep her healthy. But they're not saints, and they don't pretend to be. This is the strength, and pain, of the book. These are somewhat ordinary people --- but with extraordinary patience, resolve and heart.

Neely's job takes him away and often Vita spends weeks alone with a child who wakes up crying hour and hour. At one point, when Neely comes home, he describes his wife as having that thousand-yard stare because she is so sleep-deprived. But neither of them ever thinks of quitting.

The determination of Neely and Vita astounded me. I cannot imagine doing what they did. Some Zimbabwe officials were extremely skeptical of Americans (especially white Americans) wanting to adopt a black baby from Zimbabwe --- it's not done, and sometimes it's seen as some form of kinky sexual gratification. Some assumed that the Tuckers must have bribed someone, which is ludicrous considering all of the work they put in, but apparently not uncommon with the horrid bureaucracy that people seem to deal with in the Mugabe government.

It was so hard to read of the losses, the deaths and the failures at the orphanage --- Vita and Neely more than once decide that they must take in a second child, only to witness that child's death. They already have challenges in their own lives. Neely's parents would not attend their wedding; coming from a racist culture, his parents could not and would not accept that their son would marry a black woman, not to mention an older black woman. And yet one of the finest moments in this story is when Neely's father states (in front of his 50th high school reunion class) that he is proud to have a granddaughter from Zimbabwe named Chipo.

The Tuckers lived in the midst of chaos in Zimbabwe; as Robert Mugabe's regime collapsed, they got out just before the worst chaos. But over and over, they encountered apathy, suspicion, hate and bias; as a journalist Neely was often targeted as someone who reported lies. He was in Nairobi within hours of the embassy bombing, and his descriptions are pure hell to read. He and Vita both dealt with anger and despair, the most amazing stress and depression.

Fortunately, their story ends well. I have nothing but admiration for Neely and Vita, who went all out to save one life. And they are aware of the irony --- that that was all they could do in the face of poverty, indifference and the most astonishing bureaucratic meltdown I've ever seen (it makes some of the bureaucracies I've dealt with seem like models of efficiency). This is a story that must be read and understood, so that these people's lives can be seen and admired.

--- Reviewed by Andi Shechter

5-0 out of 5 stars LOVE, RED TAPE, AND A CHILD'S SMILE
"There are defining moments in your life, in which your measure is taken for good and you remember it always. So it was for me then." The reason for this quote is manyfold as it encompasses the whole experience of what this book is about..a reading experience that should please anyone that likes non fiction. The author, a news reporter...white, married to a black woman living in Zimbabwe (formerly Rhodesia) wanting to adopt an orphan. This is the premise of the whole book, but you would not believe what they had to go through to accomplish this mission. In fact, the story of how this child came to be is a story all by itself as covered in the Prologue. A fine read with a reminder of what it is like in countries other than the U.S.A. ... Read more

6. How to Adopt Internationally: A Guide for Agency-Directed and Independent Adoptions, Revised and Updated Edition for 2003
by Jean Nelson Erichsen, Heino R. Erichsen
list price: $22.50
our price: $18.00
(price subject to change: see help)
Asin: 094035215X
Catlog: Book (2003-01-03)
Publisher: Mesa House Publishing
Sales Rank: 44853
Average Customer Review: 4.4 out of 5 stars
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Book Description

How to Adopt Internationally is organized around 23 easy-to-follow steps that lead readers through every phase of the international adoption process — from finding a reputable agency and organizing a home study to choosing a country to adopt from, working through emigration and immigration, traveling abroad, and adjusting to a new life with a child. The book includes detailed instructions for estimating the cost of an international adoption and also provides samples of almost all forms and documents parents will be required to fill out or provide including sample guidelines used to conduct a home study. The last half of the book provides up-to-date and in-depth information on the adoption laws and requirements for 68 child-placing countries including Russia, Romania, Ukraine, Bulgaria, China, Korea, Guatemala, Chile, Mexico, and Colombia. This latest edition also includes Internet addresses for finding important updates regarding international adoption on the World Wide Web including sites for downloading INS forms, contacting Embassies and agencies overseas, finding country-specific adoptive parent support groups, up-to-date travel information, and much more. This is the most comprehensive and up-to-date guide to international adoption available anywhere. ... Read more

Reviews (10)

5-0 out of 5 stars Very Pactical and Very Helpful
While I agree with the reviewer who said that it's impossible to publish a book that can keep up with every change in international adoption, that's certainly not a reason to give up attempting to bring people a reasonably up-to-date resource. I applaud the Erichsens for commiting to a new edition every other year. It was definitely the most up-to-date resource I could find.

As a recent adoptive parent, I found the book to be by far the most useful resource in terms of understanding the process of international adoption, helping with the forms and documents I had to collect, understanding how to estimate expenses (and helping me to compare the confusing pricing terms of various adoption agencies), selecting a reputable agency, understanding how the immigration process worked, and choosing a country that was the best fit for me.

I would definitely recommend this book for anyone considering adopting internationally.

5-0 out of 5 stars Practical, up-to-date and very helpful
While I agree with the reviewer who said that it's impossible to publish a book that can keep up with every change in international adoption, that's certainly not a reason to give up attempting to bring people a reasonably up-to-date resource. I applaud the Erichsens for commiting to a new edition every other year. It was definitely the most up-to-date resource I could find.

As a recent adoptive parent, I found the book to be by far the most useful resource in terms of understanding the process of international adoption, helping with the forms and documents I had to collect, understanding how to estimate expenses (and helping me to compare the confusing pricing terms of various adoption agencies), selecting a reputable agency, understanding how the immigration process worked, and choosing a country that was the best fit for me.

I would definitely recommend this book for anyone considering adopting internationally.

5-0 out of 5 stars Outstanding guide for anyone considering intl. adoption
Ms. Erichsen's updated version of How To Adopt Internationally is even better than her first version. She accurately clarifies the steps in a process that can be challenging and lengthy. She provides necessary and detailed information and answers the questions any adoptive parent needs to know. Ms. Erichsen's expertise in the field is quite apparent. The book is extremely well written, thoughtful and an absolute must read for anyone who is thinking about adopting internationally or who is in the process.

5-0 out of 5 stars I'm glad I didn't have to go it alone...
Frankly, I didn't know where to start when I decided to try to adopt from Armenia, a country that (at the time) didn't allow agency-directed adoptions. I read this book cover-to-cover, and realized that I would need a LOT of help in order to avoid the pitfalls inherent in independent adoptions. I found a great facilitator to handle the ideosyncratic Armenian requirements, but she didn't know the ins-and-outs of the U.S. side of the equation. This book is exactly as it claims to be: a Guide to International Adoption. It breaks the process down into sequenced steps that make sense of the bureaucratic nightmare inherent in the adoption process.

If every agency was open, honest, and competent, and every country was consistent in its requirements, then books like this one wouldn't be needed. However, I feel that EVERYONE considering international adoption should be armed with the information contained in this book even if it's only used to evaluate agencies before you make your final decision. Furthermore, those choosing to adopt independantly need a guide to sort through the tons of misinformation they will encounter throughout the process.

Keep in mind that ANY info contained in this guide or any other is only the latest info available at the time of printing. Every step along the way, I checked for variations and/or changes with some recent adoptive families from my network of Armenian friends. I also relied on Internet government sites for updates on paperwork requirements.

5-0 out of 5 stars Good, solid, practical advice
This is a solid, practical "how to" book that gets right into the nuts and bolts of the international adoption process. While most of the books I found on international adoption were either woefully outdated or tended to be a collection of heartwarming stories about adoptive parents and their journey to their child, this was the only book that explained the entire process from the very beginning to the very end. I have a paperwork phobia, so I especially appreciated all of the examples of the forms and documents the book included, the packing lists for the trip abroad, the guidelines for preparing for the homestudy and for preparing the foreign dossier. I'm planning to get a copy of this book for my parents to help them understand the process. ... Read more

7. They Cage the Animals at Night
by Jennings M. Burch
list price: $5.99
our price: $5.39
(price subject to change: see help)
Asin: 0451159411
Catlog: Book (1988-08-01)
Publisher: Signet Book
Sales Rank: 20767
Average Customer Review: 4.84 out of 5 stars
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Reviews (139)

5-0 out of 5 stars They Cage the Animals at Night
I finished this book at one sitting because I could not put it down. It was one of the most touching stories I ever read. It tells the story of a little boy named Jennings. His mother has health problems, so he and his brothers spend much of their young lives in orphanages and foster homes. Jennings is seperated from his mom and his brothers, and sent to cold institutions that are often run by unfeeling administrators who dole out painful and humiliating punishments for small, insignificant offenses such as wetting the bed. He is lent out to foster homes where he is ignored, beaten, and otherwise mistreated. All this moving around causes him to fall behind in his schooling. Because of this, his fellow students and even his teachers mock and deride him, telling him he is stupid. What little time he does spend at home is disrupted by quarreling older brothers, a sick mother, a permanently hospitalized brother, a couple of drunken brothers, and a constant lack of money. And even with all he went through, he didn't give up. The book is very well written, and will touch the heart of anyone who loves children. I think that everone should read this inspiring true story.

5-0 out of 5 stars They Cage the Animals at Night
They Cage the Animals at Night, by Jennings Michael Burch, is the true story of a boy named Jennings and his terrible childhood. Due to his mother's bad health, he traveled from home to home with his stuffed animal, Doggie. Although he had three older brothers and one younger brother, he spent his childhood alone. He met and lost many people throughout the book. Jennings eventually became friendly with a bus driver named Sal. How will Jennings get though all of it? Read the book to find out.
This fantastic survival tale will touch your heart. They Cage the Animals at Night is a book for readers 11 and up. While reading this book, you will have a chance to emotionally experience the depressing life of this brave young boy. We recommend this book to people who like books which are amazingly emotional, and are interested in reading a true tale, down to each well-described detail. This is a must read!

5-0 out of 5 stars Truth Be Told
There is an honesty to "They Cage Animals at Night" that seeps into your soul and makes you feel, care, cry, rage, and finally rejoice. There are many books of survivors of abuse or tragedy, but few touch you to the core such as this. I rank it on the same level as "White Oleander", "Lucky", and "My Fractured Life." An amazing an honest story.

5-0 out of 5 stars Jennings Micheal Burch learned to stand up for himself
Jennings Michael Burch wrote about the life he had to live when he was a young child. He wrote how it was when he was sent to placement homes. His lfe was all about moving to different foster homes. Jennings,at first,Didnt know how these homes worked but quickly learned after he was punished for even the smallest wrong move. In these homes Burch learned how to stand up for himself and to have a stronger approach to life. Through out the whole book he overcomes obsitcles that he never thought he could overcome. One reason why I liked this book was because Jennings had a pet stuff animal dog and he had the dog say what Jennings was really feeling. I thought it was really interesting and creative. Another reason why I liked reading this book was because I feel it is one of the best books Ive ever read. I liked the way Jennings wrote the actual events that he went through and it made me feel like he was telling his story to me in person. Through out the whole book he kept me interested by sharing his goals and how he overcame all his fears.

5-0 out of 5 stars A touching story about a young boy overcoming obstacles
"They Cage the Animals at Night" is a great and touching story. In this book the author,Jennings Micheal Burch, Told the tramatic events that happened troughout his childhood. At a very young age his mother took him to a Childrens home without telling him where he was, how long he was staying or even why he was there. Every time his mother came back to get him, he would soon be shiped to another home. Every place he went he made friends but Jennings soon learned the cruelty of the nuns as they beat him, how to say good bye,except tragedy, and to expect pain and disapointment. Burch finally realised(With the help of a bus driver)that all of these things were a part of life and doesnt mean that he cant accomplish his goals and live his dreams. One reason why I liked reading this book was because it gave me a reality check. It helped me to realise that just because someone is different from me doesnt mean I have to jugde them.I now know how important it is to get to know others before i judge them.I also liked this book because it showed that no matter how bad your life has been it isnt to late to follow your dreams. This story shows a great example on how holding onto your dreams can make all the difference in life. ... Read more

8. Ten Thousand Sorrows : The Extraordinary Journey of a Korean War Orphan
list price: $22.95
(price subject to change: see help)
Asin: 0385496338
Catlog: Book (2000-05)
Publisher: Doubleday
Sales Rank: 72889
Average Customer Review: 3.73 out of 5 stars
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Ten Thousand Sorrows starts with its young narrator watching her mother's murder; improbably, things go downhill from there. "Worse than the ordinary miserable childhood is the miserable Irish childhood," Frank McCourt famously wrote in Angela's Ashes. But McCourt's hardscrabble youth looks like a walk in the park compared to the experiences of Elizabeth Kim. The child of an illicit union between a Korean mother and an American father, Kim grows up the object of disgust and contempt in rural Korea. As a honhyol, or mixed-race child, she isn't considered a person at all.

Yet her mother refuses to sell her into servitude, and for that show of compassion she pays with her life. In the harrowing scene that opens the book, Kim watches from a hiding place as her mother--the victim of a so-called honor killing--is hanged from a rafter: "All I could see through the bamboo slats were her bare feet, dangling in midair. I watched those milk-white feet twitch, almost with the rhythm of the Hwagwan-mu dance, and then grow still." Left alone in the world, without so much as a name or date of birth, Kim ends up in an orphanage where she spends hours on end locked in a crib that resembles a cage. Things ought to look up when an American couple adopts her. Instead, one form of abuse merely replaces another, as the pastor and his wife tell Kim that her mother "left her to die in a rice paddy" and immediately take away any toy or pet to which she develops an attachment. Later, Kim escapes into a young marriage (arranged, naturally, by her fundamentalist parents), only to find no refuge there either. Surely there is a special place in hell reserved for her husband, the kind of pathological sadist who becomes aroused only by inflicting pain.

By this point, the reader begins to feel like something of a sadist herself. It's a tribute to Kim's skill as a writer that we can't look away from her pain, even when it might feel more comfortable to do so. True, she does leave her husband, make herself a new life with her daughter, begin a journalism career without benefit of training or degree--all of which demonstrates an amazing tenacity and inner strength. Yet the latter half of the book employs the familiar vocabulary of healing without doing much to convince. Reconciled with her experiences, Kim doesn't necessarily seem to have finished processing them. Her book has all the raw urgency of a call to 911: it feels written for the author's very survival. --Chloe Byrne ... Read more

Reviews (92)

5-0 out of 5 stars An Awesome Journey!
Wow! I just finished this book last night, and I'm floored. What an incredible life this woman has led! This book made me so thankful for the things that I have. I really loved that in spite of what Kim has been through, you don't get the sense that she's wallowing in self pity. She manages somehow to tell us her story without putting blame on anyone or sounding like she feels sorry for herself. It was just incredible to read the story of how she learned to forgive the people around her, and how she learned to love herself. A truly amazing story. I feel lucky to have read it.

5-0 out of 5 stars Rare courage
This is a wonderful, beautifully written book. After hearing an interview with her on National Public Radio, I knew I had to read it. I was appalled that one reviewer suggested that Kim "made some of it up to make her life seem more tragic." To naively or cruelly mock someone's suffering is unthinkable. Kim's Omma would be proud of her. After all that she endured, she was able to triumph in the end, and I believe that this is a clear indication that she is her mother's daughter. This is an encouraging story for all of those who have experienced pain, and are in the process of healing. I highly recommend this book for all parents, especially those considering foreign adoption. In fact, I recommend it to all my friends, and I'm not the type to generally read an "Oprah pick" type book; I prefer sci fi. Anyway, Elizabeth Kim deserves a hand. I wish her and her daughter the very best.

5-0 out of 5 stars Readers Remarks are Numbing
I found myself shaking my head in wonder and disgust as I read some of the reviewer remarks for this book. Everone's memories are just that - Memories. I can't belive how some have shredded this strong woman's memories. Seems to me if all you can focus on are the fact's, then you are missing the bigger picture - feelings. I was 7 years old and came from the renowend Holt Adoption Agency. Here are some of my memories as an adopted Korean war orphan of mixed race: kids laughing at me from the outside of the chain-link fence at the orphanage I lived; kids laughing at me on the playground at recess time in grade school; knowing that Omma left me at an orphanage; adoption records reflecting father unknown and no siblings but remembering the day my baby brother was born; that my father had blue eyes; going to the public baths with my Omma; living in a box in the streets; being terrified of the night well into adulthood; getting in line everytime a group of kids were sent to families; being told many times "it's not your turn;" hearing airplanes in the night; waking on the plane on the way to America and knowing it was my birthday; dropping my hair barrett on the tarmac thinking it was going to get broken when run over by a plane; having scars on my body not knowing how they got there; getting off the airplane; watching a child squat and pee in the grass; staring at an ice cream cone in my hand wondering what it was; being in school one month after arriving; told I couldn't speak English but remembering I understood it anyway; losing my new family to the newest adoptee in my family; she was the pretty one - I was the difficult one; beatings because my mother couldn't cope; what did they expect at age 55? But they were good Christian folks so what does it matter that they don't know anything about cross-cultural children. Hating my new sister because she wasn't a boy and she took my new family away. Trying to find love anywhere I could, even if it hurt. Holding my first born son in my arms feeling unconditional love for the very first time in my memory. Learning to find worth and loving myself. The only Korean words I remember are Omma and Aboji (?) momma and papa. There are more memories - are they accurate? I don't know. Did they shape me? Certainly - they've been a part of me long as I remember. I forgive my adoptive parents. They did the best they could. They're both gone now, and I am saddened that we never bonded in all these years. I got tired of trying to win their love or anyone elses. I never had trouble loving others. It was loving myself that was so difficult, but I'm learning. However the story is told - my deep, deep respect to Ms. Kim. You said it so very well. Cross-cultural adoption? I love the United States, it's my home. But I never thought my life in Korea was bad. That's were Omma is, my baby brother, memories of my father (whoever he is); knowing my Omma loved me. You know she was pregnant with me during the war and cared for me throughtout that time. It must have been very hard. I've always believed she left me at the orphanage to give me a better life. A childhood fantasy to overcome abandonment? I don't know. But these are my memories. Are they fact? I don't know that either - but they sure seem real to me. Practice loving-kindness .. it soothes the soul and eases the pain in this crazy life we lead.

4-0 out of 5 stars Someone knows how I feel
I too am a Korean War orphan, and of mixed-race descent. Ms. Kim's and my tale are very similar, though I can gratefully say I do not recall physical abuse in my life. Emotional abuse - yes. I remember very little about my life. And what I do remember is in bits and peices of dreams, tastes, and sounds. However, my heart remembers everything. For the first time in my life, someone understands the feelings I have lived with since childhood. I thought I was the only one who felt like this. The not belonging, not fitting in, not being loved, not being wanted, forever drifting through life, questioning my sanity. Always feeling like I'm on the edge of the abyss. And this all prevasive need to be so, so perfect so I can "belong." And through it all, thinking it was my fault. Ms. Kim's story filled my soul with tears of pain and compassion - for the loss of innocence, for the unquestionable right of every child for love and acceptance. I am learning how much of my psyche is Korean. I see it in my emotional responses to life and people; in my stong respect for Buddist teachings though I embrace the Grace of liberal Christianity. I hope to find the healing that will make my spirit free in this journey of self-discovery I am undertaking. Thank you Ms. Kim for sharing your tale. May the Spirit of love and forgivness heal you at last.

5-0 out of 5 stars One writer's opinion
I was also at the Corte Madera event one reviewer talks about, and I must take exception. Elizabeth was speaking, ostensibly, to a roomful of professional writers, and she was asked to talk candidly about the pitfalls of memoir-writing. She was letting us know what to watch out for, what kind of painful experiences might be expected, etc. She didn't "bad mouth" anyone -- she talked honestly and openly in the hope of helping other writers navigate unfamiliar waters. She spoke with humility and humor, and her speech, like her book, was self-effacing, completely lacking in self-pity, and devastatingly honest. I've read about the controversy, and I notice it's non-published writers who attack her. Other writers, who know the truth about what it's like having the courage to put yourself out there, are supportive. And Koreans of her age and background also support her and remember similar stories. Jealousy does, indeed, make critics of us all. ... Read more

9. The Primal Wound: Understanding the Adopted Child
by Nancy Verrier
list price: $15.00
our price: $13.50
(price subject to change: see help)
Asin: 0963648004
Catlog: Book (1993-04-01)
Publisher: Nancy Verrier
Sales Rank: 37981
Average Customer Review: 4.04 out of 5 stars
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Reviews (53)

5-0 out of 5 stars The Primal Wound
I found this book to be very enlightening and would recommend it to all members of the triad - especially to adoptive parents and adoptees as it really offers a perspective that is seldom offered in other books on the subject of adoption. I am an adoptee who saw a great deal of myself and my adoptive brother described in the pages of that book. My birthmother and adoptive mother also found the book impactful. Too many books on adoption seem to me to be little more than psychodramas around reunions, or do not address what it must be like for a baby to be removed from the only world it knows, thrust into a new world where NOTHING familiar remains, and not able to process what is happening. I've seen this book both praised and criticized from those in adoption circles (newsgroups and the like). This "chosen baby" thanks Nancy Verrier for writing it and wishes she had written it years ago.

5-0 out of 5 stars Yep I can and do relate
I purchased this book during a very emotional time of my life which included seeking out my birth mother. I am ADD and normally read a book about three pages then fall asleep. This book, however, had me nodding my head, saying yes and feeling validated for those things I had felt through most of my life and finished within 24 hours.

Verrier has a good thought on this whole adoption thing. For those of us that were adopted during the dark ages of secrecy and the idea that adoption should be kept secret, this is a good book for those of us with conflicting feelings.

While this may not apply to all adoptees, and it certainly doesn't, it does ring true for many of us left with many unanswered questions as to why we are the way we are, who we are and why we may act out in ways our adoptive siblings and parents don't.

In all it's a good book to consider for the adoptee seeking answers, the adoptive parent who may need some insight, the sibling not connecting with their adoptive brother/sister, the spouse of an adoptee, etc....

Again, it doesn't fit everyone, no book like this does but for many of us this book explains a lot to our mental outlook. I don't think in life you can find any book that really can put people (whatever the classification) into one-size-fits all but this book fit me to a "T". Others may or may not be able to relate but worth the read if you are a member of the adoption tirad.

5-0 out of 5 stars Hard to read, but well worth it.
Bar none a masterpiece on the adoption issues for the adoptee. To get other perspectives, I also recommend: Whose Child? by Kasey Hamner and Adoption Healing for birthmothers who lost children to adoption by Joe Soll.

1-0 out of 5 stars If only there were a ZERO star category
I am an adoptee on an incredible journey to self awareness, this book was recommended to me by a very trusted person. I really like the theory of the primal wound and all its implications, and i think all these implications are at least worth considering by anyone involved in the adoption process. I was emotionally and mentally prepared to examine and consider the unsubstantiatable (this may not be a word??) ideas propagated in this work. (i use the term work loosely). I enjoyed the first few chapters as food for thought and I was able to make some connection, but as the book droned on, I began to get a sense that emotion rather than thoughtful consideration was the driving force behind this collection of words. It started as a lingering bothersome irritation deep in the back of my mind and built into a crescendo of realization that the lady the lady who wrote this thing is just the kind of person I would not like to get advice from. I have to fight violently with myself not the throw the baby out with the bathwater. I intended to send this to my adopted sister, but after trying to finish I have changed my mind. A much more balance and intelligent work tempered by reason and not propelled by emotion is the book Being Adopted, The lifelong Search for Self. I am only on page 40, but already find it much more informative and a much more valuable tool in examining my own life and feelings about my adoption. Check your self pity at the door if you want to read about yourself and don't waste you time on the primal wound. I hope I never meet the author.

5-0 out of 5 stars A Life-Changing Read.
I'm only half way through this book, and I've never found so many life revelations as in this book... and I've read a bunch on this subject.
I mean, solutions to problems you never thought were remotely connected to your adoption...
This book has positively changed my life (for the good!) ... Read more

10. Being Adopted : The Lifelong Search for Self
list price: $14.00
our price: $11.20
(price subject to change: see help)
Asin: 0385414269
Catlog: Book (1993-03-01)
Publisher: Anchor
Sales Rank: 50636
Average Customer Review: 4.38 out of 5 stars
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Reviews (8)

3-0 out of 5 stars Okay, but repeat of many other better books
This was the third book I read as I began my search for my birth mother. It was repetative from other help books on searching and adoption and since I did not experience any negative feelings all my life from being adopted, I can't say that I can relate at all to some of the comments, stories, etc. It does have some good points though for helping in the search process.

5-0 out of 5 stars A compassionate book for adoptees, birth and adoptive parent
I am not an adoptee but I can imagine that I would have experienced the unique stages the authors describe of adoptees as they grow up and try to cope with their past. I like the compassionate but also dispassionate tone of the authors as they lay out their balanced view of adoption, enlightening not only adoptees but also the general public. It is good, too, that the authors point out not all adoptees feel the same way, that some are greatly troubled by their adoption while others are less concerned about their past. A good book for everyone to learn from.
Gisela Gasper Fitzgerald, author of ADOPTION: An Open, Semi-Open or Closed Practice?

5-0 out of 5 stars Very Balanced
I liked this book because it was a balanced view of adoption. I found it validating. It showed that within my peer group - adoptees - I was very normal. This helped. It also showed that although some people react with great desperation to adoption others seem to take it more in stride and that is normal too. Regardless of how you feel, this book is a must read. Enlightening, validating and no whining. Thank you to the authors.

5-0 out of 5 stars Understanding The Whys of Why I Feel This Way
This book is right on target. It showed me the reasons for why I've felt the way I have for so many years. I'm 55 and was adopted in infancy. My adopted Mother never told me anything and I always felt left out and some how all alone in this world. Now I understand why I feel the way I have all these years. It's natural and normal. This is an excellent book for adoptees to understand why their feelings are mixed, confused, and not totally feeling a part of this world. I'd recommend this book to all adoptees.

4-0 out of 5 stars Sharing perspectives with fellow adoptees
This book was extremely helpful in allowing me to see and feel how other adoptees have experienced the same sense of loss I have coped with since childhood. As an adoptee, adopted as an infant, and finding my birth parents after 30+ years, it was amazing to have a book which so clearly outlines the stages of my life, and allowed me to understand the feelings I have had for so long. The book is a quick read, but has depth in the way it will touch any adoptees soul. This book has motivated me to write my own story, as an adoptee, searching for self, while raising two children as a single dad. This book has allowed me to identify feelings which I felt only I experienced, and will allow me to write a book from the heart. Thank you. ... Read more

11. Real Parents, Real Children ; Parenting the Adopted Child: Parenting the Adopted Child
by Holly Van Gulden
list price: $19.95
our price: $13.97
(price subject to change: see help)
Asin: 0824515145
Catlog: Book (1995-09-01)
Publisher: Crossroad Publishing Company
Sales Rank: 72220
Average Customer Review: 4 out of 5 stars
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Reviews (6)

3-0 out of 5 stars Too Clinical
I ordered this book & returned it after glancing through it. It seems too clinical & dry. It seemed like reading a college child development book. I'm sure there's lots of good information in there, but I want something that is easier to apply to my life. I also ordered "Keys to Parenting an Adopted Child" by Kathy Lancaster, and that seems like a better book to start with for me. Obviously, other people have enjoyed this book though - but it wasn't for me at this point in time (we're in the process of adopting an infant from Russia & don't have kids yet).

5-0 out of 5 stars Very helpful book on many adoption fronts
Gulden and Bartels-Rabb cover a large number of issues that adoptive parents would greatly benefit knowing about, even if some don't apply to their personal situation, such as adoption of an older child and the consequent issue of bonding and attachment and re-naming the child. Also, the book offers a great bibliography. I could identify with several points brought up. Preplacement and postplacement stress (and joy!) is one issue I can still vividly remember. Also the fact that parenting adopted children is, in fact, different from parenting birth children. In our case, I found this to be especially true during the first year of our daughter's life when nature had not prepared me for the arrival of a child. Our daughter was four days old and loved around the clock. However, I found that the difference between her and our two birth children lasted only as long as the milk flowed. After that, I saw three unique individuals, and as the years went by, the issue of adoption was no more a household word than the issue of biological birth. We spoke lovingly of her birthmother and brought her up at special events, yet our daughter, very easy-going in temperament, never seemed to suffer an identity crisis or later, an interest in searching. When her birthmother appeared 29 years later, she began a cordial relationship with her but claims that the reunion has not made her whole while before she was fragmented. She had merely made a new friend. Perhaps our daughter was like the little eleven-year old boy quoted by Gulden and Bartels-Rabb: "You know all those things you've been saying about my birth parents? Well, I've come to the conclusion that those poor suckers lost a good thing." It would be nice if all adopted kids felt as confident, but that's sadly not true.
Gisela Gasper Fitzgerald, author of ADOPTION: An Open, Semi-Open or Closed Practice?

5-0 out of 5 stars Super!
Not only is this a fantastic resource for adoptive parents, but an incredible review of normal childhood development and the grieving process. The authors address all scenerios for adoption (foreign, domestic, cross-cultural, from infancy and beyond, from foster care, etc.) in a clear and informative way. The research into this book must have been phenomenal. Recommended reading for parents well into the process as well as prospective parents. It's both honest and hopeful. Bravo!

2-0 out of 5 stars Nothing New
This book didn't cover anything new. A pre-placement parenting class was required for our homestudy for our adoption, and reading this book was like re-taking that class. The same issues (generic) were discussed. Maybe if I hadn't heard all the information before, I would have found this book more valuable.

4-0 out of 5 stars Real Authors with Real Great Advice!
Real Parents, Real Children has been one of the most helpful books I have read on adoption, and as an adoption social worker - I have read quite a few! What I enjoyed most about this book was the in-depth look Holly Van Gulden and Lisa M. Bartels-Rabb took at each developmental stage in a child's life. After learning what all children go through at a particular stage, Van Gulden and Bartels-Rabb then discuss issues that may arise in each stage as related to adotpion. This book is a great resource for adoptive parents to determine if their child's behavior is due to their developmental stage or and adoption issue that needs to be resolved. Van Gulden and Bartels-Rabb do not end there! They go on to give practical advice on how to help your child through a tough issue. I appreciate this books honest and professional flavor. I recommend this book to all adoptive parents as a resource that can be used for many years. The earlier adoption related issues can be dicovered and worked through, the better for the child and the family. Two other books I highly recommend are "Twenty Things Adopted Kids Wish Their Adoptive Parents Knew" and "Making Sense of Adoption" ... Read more

12. Adopting the Older Child
by Claudia Jewett
list price: $16.95
our price: $16.95
(price subject to change: see help)
Asin: 0916782093
Catlog: Book (1979-05)
Publisher: Harvard Common Press
Sales Rank: 174318
Average Customer Review: 4.62 out of 5 stars
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Book Description

Pros, cons, and how-to's for an increasingly popular option. ... Read more

Reviews (8)

5-0 out of 5 stars Excellent and Informative.
This book dicusses the adoption of older children. Through a series of stories told in the viewpoint of the adoptive parents, adoptive children, and their social worker, readers gain insight into what they can expect during the process. This book put to ease some of my fars about adopting an older child, and makes me feel more equipped to handle situations when our time to adopt comes.

5-0 out of 5 stars THE BEST BOOK ON ADOPTION!!
If you are considering adoption, especially of an older child, THIS IS A MUST HAVE BOOK!! I adopted an 8 year old special needs boy in 1992, and this book was my bible. It was like a road map of what to expect. Nothing my son did ever caught me by surprise. So instead of worrying what I was doing wrong, I was able to focus on his needs. This book gave me the foundation on which to stand. Today, my son is a healthy, well-respected young man; I thank Ms. Jewett for her excellent book. She helped make it happen.

4-0 out of 5 stars Great Companion
I'm about half way through the adoption process and am currently about half way through this book. Although it is over 20 years old, the information is GREAT. It has aided me in some more questions to ask my social worker that I would not have thought about before - and should have. I HIGHLY recommend this book for any one considering adoption of a child older than five. It's right on the money as far as the process you need to go through, and questions you should ask.

5-0 out of 5 stars The Title Says It All
We adopted two older siblings, a ten year old girl and her five year old brother. This book enlightened us to exactly the issues of an older placement. I highly recommend this book to prepare anyone considering adopting an older child.

5-0 out of 5 stars The best book I have read on this subject. Very helpful.
I loved this book. It is interesting, readable and gives you tremendous insight into the challenges you will face without terrifying you in the process or making you feel incompetent to deal with them. I gained a lot of insight from the author's wisdom. ... Read more

13. Dear Birthmother
by Kathleen Silber
list price: $14.95
our price: $12.71
(price subject to change: see help)
Asin: 0931722209
Catlog: Book (1991-05-01)
Publisher: Corona Publishing Co.
Sales Rank: 60134
Average Customer Review: 4.43 out of 5 stars
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Book Description

This is the third revised edition of the open adoption classic recommended by the Child Welfare League of America.Gently provocative, warm and convincing, this open adoption guide includes actual letters between adoptive parents and birthparents, and between the latter and the children they have ... Read more

Reviews (7)

5-0 out of 5 stars Open adoption -- so many opportunities
This book allowed my husband and I to understand the evolution of open adoption -- what we now believe to be natural adoption. More importantly, "Dear Birthmother" described adoption from the perspective of birthmothers, which was a critical viewpoint for us hear while we were trying to also understand the concept of openness in adoption. When we were first considering adoption, we thought we'd want a "safe" experience where we'd only meet the birthmom and then she'd disappear. This book helped us see the range of openness that might be possible, as well as how closed adoption might feel instead. After reading this book and sharing many conversations about the idea of openness, our child was born and we began to experience the growth of our amazing, loving extended family that included our child's birthparents and birthgrandparents. How lucky we ALL began to feel. Now, during the wait for our second adoption, this book reminds me of how sure we are of open adoption and the abiding respect we have for the birthmother of our first child born to us through adoption.

2-0 out of 5 stars a poor gift for perspective birthmothers
I was one of many birth-mothers who received a copy of this book when considering open adoption. It seemed to be written for the adoptive perents to persuade them into open adption. The Open Adoption Experiance and The Other Mother are much better choices for birthmothers, and really give them the information they would need to make an informed choice.

5-0 out of 5 stars Speaking as a birth mother
As a birth mother I received this book from my son's adoptive mother. Reading through the pages was like reliving my experience all over again, but this time my tears were of joy. Thank you for creating a book that acknowledges bmoms & lets them know that they aren't alone even if it does feel like it.

5-0 out of 5 stars most helpful
I first read this book in 1988 when i was pregnant with my first child at the age of 15. The author of this book wrote it so well and it helped me through a very rough time in my life. I recommend this book to any one in the adoption triangle.

5-0 out of 5 stars Gain invaluable insight into the feelings of Birthmothers
I read this book when my eldest adopted daughter was three years old, and we had just adopted our youngest daughter. Reading this book opened my eyes to the REAL feelings of the birthmother. Especially revealing was the overwhelming response that birthmothers needed information and needed to know their birthchildren were happy and well. After reading this book, I wrote a letter to my eldest daughter's birthmother (passed through our attorney) She replied with a letter to give to our daughter at a later date, explaining, as only she could the circumstances regarding her decision. The letter has been invaluable in helping our daughter feel connected to and loved by her birthmother. Our eldest daughter in now 14, our youngest 11, and we continue to exchange letters through our attorney. Reading this book will help adoptive parents to help their children and honor their birthparents. ... Read more

14. Attaching in Adoption: Practical Tools for Today's Parents
by Deborah D. Gray
list price: $24.95
our price: $16.47
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Asin: 0944934293
Catlog: Book (2002-04-30)
Publisher: Perspectives Press (IN)
Sales Rank: 11700
Average Customer Review: 4.82 out of 5 stars
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Proper attachment is the most fundamental issue in a successfuladoption, but what exactly does the term mean? Attaching in Adoptionanswers that question thoroughly, and it provides solutions to a variety ofspecific attachment problems.

Along with technical explanations of challenges such as self-esteem, childhoodgrief, and limit-testing, the book includes a tremendous number of personalvignettes illustrating attachment-related situations. Parents who are convincedthat only their child has ever behaved a certain way are sure to take comfort inthese stories; not only do they include kids from all backgrounds and agegroups, but each has an ultimately happy ending. The emotional health of thewhole family is also paramount according to the book--with plenty of rest and"alone time," caregivers are more likely to be emotionally available when theyare most needed.

Because Attaching in Adoption focuses on special needs, families who arecoming together through foster programs, at later ages, or across cultural lineswill find it especially helpful. Both psychologically detailed andstraightforwardly helpful, it can be of equal benefit to counselors and parentsalike. --Jill Lightner ... Read more

Reviews (11)

5-0 out of 5 stars Attaching in Adoption
If you only plan to read one book about adoption, make it this one! It covers pretty much everything you would need to know about the emotional impact of adoption, from infancy to adulthood. It is an intense book, both in terms of its emotional content (some of the case studies are heart-wrenching) and its depth of information. The author really knows her stuff, both from extensive reading of the research literature and from many years of personal experience as a therapist. She covers the various stages of attachment, what kids need to attach well, what happens when the process goes wrong, and what to do to help kids make healthy attachments to their new families. Even if you are adopting an infant and don't expect any problems, this book will help you make the attachment process as smooth as possible. There is also extensive discussion of the issues adoptive kids experience later on, such as the search for identity, fantasies about who their birth parents really were and whether they will be reunited, grief over losing parents, etc. It is ultimately a very positive book, demonstrating that even seriously damaged kids can work through their issues and become happy, well-adjusted adults, and anyone who had a rocky relationship with their own parents will probably find some surprising insights here -- poor attachment can happen in any family. Required reading!

5-0 out of 5 stars Excellent Book
...this is the best book ever written on adoption related issues. This book is full of examples and helpful advice that parents can actually use. This is a must-read book for current or would-be adoptive parents.

5-0 out of 5 stars Must Read for All Adoptive Parents
As the parent of 2 adopted children, one who attached easily and one who is proving to be more of a challenge, this book is one that I feel our agency should make required reading. It is not only for those parents of older adoptees, but I found much that was helpful for our 14 month old son. Beyond the obvious helpful ideas and explanations, this book served to help "normalize" this experience for me, and helped me feel less like we are living in our own little hell at the moment. Reading the real-life stories provided me with several "ahh haa" moments, and I now feel much better equipped to handle my son's behavior and understand this is more of a "Long Haul" than a "Quick Fix", but definitely something that can be worked with and helped. This book is very in-depth and comprehensive, and for someone who is at this moment dealing with a month worth of sleepless nights, tantrums, and constant pushing away I can't think of anything more valuable that I have found to help me through this.

5-0 out of 5 stars Excellent resource for parents or professionals
I am a clinical psychologist who works with families and children. This is an excellent book for parents and professionals. The techniques are well grounded in research and sound developmental theory, but are also explained clearly and without lots of jargon. Excellent examples are used to illustrate points and techniques.

5-0 out of 5 stars Attaching in Adoption
This is the best Adoption book I've read (and up to now I've read more than 8). I would recommend it for everybody involved in Adoption.
Thank you Deborah for this wonderful book! It would be really nice to have it translated to Spanish. ... Read more

15. Parenting the Hurt Child : Helping Adoptive Families Heal and Grow
by Gregory Keck, Regina M. Kupecky
list price: $22.00
our price: $14.96
(price subject to change: see help)
Asin: 1576833143
Catlog: Book (2002-04-01)
Publisher: Pinon Press
Sales Rank: 15175
Average Customer Review: 4.43 out of 5 stars
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Book Description

Your Hurt Child Can Heal and Grow.

When a child is adopted, he can arrive with hurts from the past—pain that stunts his emotional growth, and your family’s life, too. At some point your parenting dreams can shatter, and raising a hurt child becomes more like a burden than a blessing.

But don’t give up. With time, patience, informed parenting, and appropriate therapy, your adopted child can heal, grow, and develop beyond what seems possible now. From insights gathered through years of working with adopted kids who have experienced early trauma, Gregory C. Keck and Regina M. Kupecky explain how to manage a hurting child with loving wisdom and resolve, and how to preserve your stability while untangling their thorny hearts.

"We hope that what we share will give you strength, courage, and commitment," write the authors. "We hope you will tap into your own resources and creativity to become the parent you’ve always wanted to be."

If you’ve adopted a child, whatever the circumstances, you’ll find hope and healing on these pages––for you, your family, and especially your adopted child. ... Read more

Reviews (7)

5-0 out of 5 stars Excellent for adopted and non-adopted children
We have friends with a "hurt" child and after reading this very helpful and insightful book, I bought them a copy and am told of their increased confidence in handling the little boy. Even if only one single advice in the book helped, the parents would be very grateful.
Gisela Gasper Fitzgerald, author of ADOPTION: An Open, Semi-Open or Closed Practice?

1-0 out of 5 stars Pinon Press commitment to lies.
Every Pinon Press book has a title page with a money back guarantee coupon and information. This is a lie. When you send them the information and title page...they send the envelope back "Return to Sender." There is no listed contact information for the company...just in case you ever feel like giving them feedback. -Or asking them why they lie.

5-0 out of 5 stars A Book for Everyone
This is a very good book for both parents and teachers. It is also useful for adults relating to children who both are and are not "hurt." This book can be read as a preventive measure, as well as a book to turn to when nothing seems to get through to a child.

I tutor at a learning center, and work with children from all types of backgrounds and with all kinds of learning and behavior problems. This book has been very helpful to me. I feel I have successfully applied the techniques and suggestions in Chapter 4, and hopefully have avoided the pitfalls listed in Chapter 3. Chapter 5 has specific activities parents can do to positively affect their interactions with their child. Some activities can be incorporated in a teacher/tutor and child interaction, but they are more for parental interactions. Chapter 6 deals with education and is more for both parents and teachers. At the end of the book the authors present letters told from the viewpoint of both parents and children. If you want to learn about relevant research, Chapter 12, "the Author's Smorgasbord," gives brief descriptions of articles about hurt children. Also, the section "Related Readings" presents a reference list of useful articles. All of the researchers on this list are pioneers in early development and/or very well known for the quality of their research.

What I especially like about this book is that it does not make the parent feel guilty for the current state of their relationship with their child. Those feelings of guilt can hamper the positive growth of the interaction between parent and child. If you are even contemplating this book, or one like it, that says a lot. If you are really in a bind, go straight to Chapter 7 "Surviving When It Feels Like Nothing Works." Good luck and don't give up!

I am the "Forever Mommy" of three wonderful children under the age of 9. I actually laughed (ALOT) while reading this book and felt tremendous relief to read that I am not insane! Many adoptive families go through the same intensity that we do. There were many great ideas that worked wonderfully - in fact the counselors, doctors and social workers actually wrote down some of the ideas for future reference for other families.

I sent a copy of this book to my mother to give her some insight and education. This is a MUST READ for all family members blessed with an adoptive child!!

5-0 out of 5 stars Best Book I've Read on Adoption - Period
I've read adoption books for my whole life. My birth mother died when I was ten weeks old, I had six "homes" before my adoption at age three.

Now, I'm an adoptive Mom of a beautiful three year old boy who came from a shaky start but who is blooming delightfully now.

I've attended as many courses as I could over the past three years about helping children and parents deal with adoption and related disorders. I've participated hands on in over 300 therapy sessions and parent training programs, so I can tell you, there's a lot of information "out there" and none I've seen were as profoundly helpful and completely on-target as this book.

This book addresses soooo many issues in a completely honest, easy to read and sincere manner for anyone who wants to know more about adoption and healing and helping a hurt child.

This is an excellent gift or addition to your own library. ... Read more

16. The Post-Adoption Blues : Overcoming the Unforseen Challenges of Adoption
by Karen J. Foli, John R. Thompson
list price: $14.95
our price: $10.17
(price subject to change: see help)
Asin: 1579548660
Catlog: Book (2004-08-07)
Publisher: Rodale Books
Sales Rank: 46792
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Book Description

Over 150,000 people adopt children each year, and more than 2 million parents are now raising adopted children and grandchildren. While the path to parenting through adoption is rich with rewards and fulfillment, it's not without its bumps.This compassionate, illuminating, and ultimately uplifting book is the first to openly recognize the very normal feelings of stress that adoptive families encounter as they cope with the challenges and expectations of their new families.

Where do parents turn when the waited-for bonding with their adopted child is slow to form? When they find themselves grieving over the birth child they couldn't have? When the child they so eagerly welcomed into their home arrives with major, unexpected needs? Until now, adoptive parents have had to struggle silently with their feelings, which can range from flutters of anxiety to unbearable sadness.

At last, Karen J. Foli, a registered nurse, and her husband, John R. Thompson, a psychiatrist, lift the curtain of secrecy from "Post Adoption Depression Syndrome" (PADS). Drawing on their own experience as adoptive parents as well as interviews with dozens of adoptive families and experts in the field, the couple offers parents the understanding, support, and concrete solutions they need to overcome post-adoption blues-and open their hearts to the joy adoption can bring.
... Read more

17. Help for the Hopeless Child: A Guide for Families (With Special Discussion for Assessing and Treating the Post-Institutionalized Child), Second Edition
by Ronald S. Federici
list price: $21.95
our price: $18.66
(price subject to change: see help)
Asin: 0966710118
Catlog: Book (2003-08-29)
Publisher: Dr. Ronald S. Federici and Associates
Sales Rank: 47801
Average Customer Review: 4.89 out of 5 stars
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Book Description

This SECOND EDITION of Dr. Federici's book, Help for theHopeless Child, A Guide for Families (with Special Discussion for Assessing and Treating the Post-Institutionalized Child) has expanded text and updated adoption figures, intensive family treatment program and multi-discipline interventions.Additional discussion regarding more complex child developmental disorders. ... Read more

Reviews (9)

Dr. Federici's book saved our family. We were drowning in chaos and confusion, and with 3 very troubled adopted children. His book is an extension of his practice model (proper evaluation and intensive parent training). All the other professionals we saw did not have a clue how to handle our children, so we went on our own and got the right help we needed. Nothing crazy like "holding therapy" which we tried and discontinued. This book give structure and hope when all else is or has failed.

5-0 out of 5 stars Excellent Book And One We Can Understand!
Dr. Federici's book put us back on track and 'in control" of our family after years of wasted, costly therapy for our two Romanian children. We had tried about everything, including this "neurofeedback" for RAD which was a total waste as our child had brain damage, not RAD like all these therapists like to push (RAD,ADHD, Bipolar, ODD--seems they diagnosis all these kids with it when they do not know what else to do). We called Evergreen, Villa Santa Maria, and a few other places that claimed to be able to help, but none had a solid plan, but sure wanted the money. So we went to Dr. Federici and his "team approach" and got further in three months, than we did with all the other professionals over the span of four years. This is the right approach and book when you are at the end of your rope, and is endorsed by some of the real experts in the country. Also, this Dr. actually has Internationally Adopted kids of his own, so he gets real life credit. He neds to lecture more to get the correct word out to families in need.

5-0 out of 5 stars A Book For Families In Desparate Need of Help!
After struggling for years, and reading all these other books on attachment, behavior problems, therapy and about everything else, we got Dr. Federici's book and finally found someone who really "gets the picture". We have also seen about everyone who claims to be the real "expert' in attachment, behaviors, traumatized kids, etc. They quickly took our money, gave us all kinds of theoretical discussions about how screwed up our kid was (like we did not already know!), and then did everything from some wierd holding techniques (which made it worse), talked to him and us, then told us "to keep coming". Never an end till we read this book. Even with the typos, it was clear, solid and structured. Certainly not an easy treatment, but one where we saw results in one month, compared to the years of wasted therapies. This book is a MUST for families who got deceived by their adoption agency and are really struggling.

5-0 out of 5 stars Finally, An Expert Who Really Knows My Kid!
After going from "expert" to expert, place to place, and medication to medication, we found someone who really understands post-institutionalized children. We wasted tons of money at Evergreen and two other treatment facilities, and even more wasted time and money all these quack attachment therapists. Family counseling, play therapy, residential, and we were still stuck with misery. We read this book, saw Dr. Federici and his team, and they put our family back on track in six months. It was VERY HARD to do, but the best way to really help. Practical, family-centered, and no-nonsense. We had read all the other books out there by the "experts', but never heard the solutions--only the RAD diagnosis. Now we have peace AND control in our home. We hope Dr. Federici keeps writing and lecturing, as he can really teach his colleagues how to get it right.

5-0 out of 5 stars Extremely Helpful After Many Failures
This book was the best we had read and used in all of our struggles with our older, Russian adopted kids from one of the infamous "summer camp programs". We were not at all prepared for the problems, as we were told "love will fix it all". That was not the case, and we waded through one non-effective therapy after another, especially medications and "attachment therapy" by the so-called experts. Dr. Federici's approach woke us up, made us accept what we got, and helped us to get a grip on our children and reality. This book is a must for the desparate and those who really want solutions to real problems--not hand holding, nebulious attachment therapy , play therapy or the medication roller coaster. ... Read more

18. The Russian Adoption Handbook: How to Adopt from Russia, Ukraine, Kazakhstan, Bulgaria, Belarus, Georgia, Azerbaijan and Moldova
by John H. Maclean
list price: $32.95
our price: $23.06
(price subject to change: see help)
Asin: 0595301150
Catlog: Book (2004-01-01)
Publisher: iUniverse Star
Sales Rank: 19484
Average Customer Review: 5 out of 5 stars
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Book Description

Adopting a child can be one of life's most rewarding experiences. Unfortunately, complex policies, legal risks, and fewer available children make adopting domestically difficult. International adoption offers a solution to parents yearning for a child of their own.

American parents are now adopting over 5000 children a year from Russia and Eastern Europe. John Maclean's The Russian Adoption Handbook is a comprehensive guide to adopting a child from overseas.

From the pitfalls to the practical, the rewards to the risks, The Russian Adoption Handbook leads parents through the maze of:

  • How the international adoption process works.
  • How to start the process.
  • What you need to know before traveling to Russia and Eastern Europe.
  • Making the most out of your trip--the inside scoop on customs, hotels, and food.
  • The children's homes, the courts, and the questions that need to be asked.
  • Medical issues, special adoption doctors, and travel requirements.
  • Post adoption procedures, and much, much more.

Practical, accurate, and written with a father's sense of humor, The Russian Adoption Handbook is the most comprehensive and up-to-date guide to adoption yet.

... Read more

Reviews (4)

5-0 out of 5 stars I highly recommend this book to all my student
I teach an online Russian culture course at Suite101 and I recommend this book to all my students who are considereing adopting from Russia. This is a practical and easy-to-use guide, which can help to bring people together!

5-0 out of 5 stars Great Book - A Bible for Russian Adoptions
We recently adopted a little girl from Russia, and this was our "Adoption Bible." Mr. Maclean took us through the process, step by step. We were working with an agency, but this book walked you through the process, while including comment on the emotional rollercoaster of international adoption. We "did not leave home without it" on our trips to Russia. I purchased other books, which were complementary to this one, but this is the one that proved to be the most useful.

5-0 out of 5 stars Answers so many questions!!!
Even though we're adopting through a great agency (America World Adoption Association --, this book is so comprehensive & helpful. It has answered so many of my questions. I highly recommend it!!! The book is 708 pages & really goes into the details of the whole process, which can be overwhelming -- but helpful if you take it one step at a time!

5-0 out of 5 stars Huge Help
This book is so full of helpfull info it is amazing!!!! He goes into great detail about everything you need to know. If you are thinking about adopting from russia get this book. It will quickly become your adpotion bible!!!!! It covers everything from paperwork, Health issues,conditions of the orphanages to catching a taxi and how not to get ripped off... A must have ... Read more

19. Our Chosen Child: How You Came To Us And The Growing Up Years
by Judy Pelikan, Judith Levy
list price: $18.95
our price: $12.89
(price subject to change: see help)
Asin: 0740727095
Catlog: Book (2003-06)
Publisher: Andrews McMeel Publishing
Sales Rank: 23256
Average Customer Review: 4.5 out of 5 stars
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Book Description

Parents record every milestone-from the first smile to the first day at school-in a child's baby book for posterity. Thanks to best-selling author Judith Levy, adoptive parents can now express their joy and love for a child in a baby book created especially for them. Our Chosen Child omits the traditional space for recording details about the pregnancy, labor, and delivery, highlighting instead the special preparations adoptive parents make and the excitement and anticipation they feel.In Our Chosen Child, adoptive parents can record family history and all the milestones of childhood through high school graduation. Additionally, Our Chosen Child includes the milestones that an adoptive family achieves. A page entitled "Waiting for You" acknowledges the many steps along the journey to becoming an adoptive family, such as completing a home study and getting references. On the page entitled "When We First Saw You" parents can capture the special moment when they first meet their intended child, whether as a newborn or as a five-year-old. The happy memories of the day the adoption is finalized are recorded on the "Adoption Day" page.Each page features original poetry by Judith Levy, such as this loving dedication: "You had a journey to make, A trip to come through, To parents who were praying, And waiting for you." Judy Pelikan's tender illustrations grace every page, making this book a beautiful keepsake.All adoptive parents will want to complete this treasury of memories for their own "chosen child."

... Read more

Reviews (2)

5-0 out of 5 stars THIS IS A WONDERFUL BOOK!
I bought numerous memory books for my adopted child only to be disappointed each time until I found this one. This is a wonderful book with space for everything from birth through the growing up years. It is very family oriented in the traditional sense so it might not be a perfect fit for single parents.

4-0 out of 5 stars Author of Waiting for You: An Heirloom Adoption Journal
Parents of adult adopted children will treasure this book to record their past. Parents of infant adopted children will enjoy using this book to record their present and future. It is well made and colorful. It has places for the mother and father to use. This would not be a great fit for single adoptive parents or alternative families, however. The book highlights and documents the child's years growing up. This keepsake is sure to be a labor of love. What a beautiful book. ... Read more

20. Cross Cultural Adoption: How To Answer Questions from Family, Friends & Community
by Amy Coughlin, Caryn Abramowitz
list price: $18.95
our price: $12.89
(price subject to change: see help)
Asin: 0895260921
Catlog: Book (2004-08-01)
Publisher: Lifeline Press (CA)
Sales Rank: 81895
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