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$10.46 $6.05 list($13.95)
1. What to Expect When You're Expecting,
$39.96 $34.92 list($49.95)
2. SIGN with your BABY Complete Learning
$10.36 $8.07 list($12.95)
3. Boys Will Put You on a Pedestal
$10.46 $8.25 list($13.95)
4. How to Talk So Kids Will Listen
$77.33
5. Patternmaking for Fashion Design
$10.17 $8.07 list($14.95)
6. The Seven Principles for Making
$10.50 $7.95 list($14.00)
7. The Girlfriends' Guide to Pregnancy
$15.60 $12.99 list($26.00)
8. Family First : Your Step-by-Step
$19.77 $13.87 list($29.95)
9. Them : A Memoir of Parents
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10. Being Perfect
$16.50 $14.85 list($25.00)
11. Unconditional Parenting : Moving
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12. What to Expect the Toddler Years
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13. 1-2-3 Magic: Effective Discipline
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14. The 36-Hour Day : A Family Guide
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15. Raising Your Spirited Child: A
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16. Clark Smart Parents, Clark Smart
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17. Solve Your Child's Sleep Problems
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18. Treat Your Own Back
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19. Confessions of a Slacker Mom
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20. Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway

1. What to Expect When You're Expecting, Third Edition
by Heidi E. Murkoff, Heidi Murkoff, Sandee E. Hathaway
list price: $13.95
our price: $10.46
(price subject to change: see help)
Asin: 0761121323
Catlog: Book (2002-04-01)
Publisher: Workman Publishing
Sales Rank: 231
Average Customer Review: 2.95 out of 5 stars
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Amazon.com

Eighteen years after it first hit the shelves and having sold more than 10 million copies, What to Expect When You're Expecting is still on nearly every mother-to-be's reading list. This completely revised and updated edition is packed with answers to hundreds of questions and worries expectant parents may have. The information is presented in a month-by-month format starting with planning a pregnancy and choosing a practitioner, and follows through to six weeks after delivery. Each chapter begins with an explanation of what to expect at a particular month's prenatal visit and a brief description of how mom and baby are growing and changing before getting to the heart of the matter: What You May Be Concerned About. Topics are presented as questions ranging from "Should I be taking vitamins?" to "What if I forget everything I learn in childbirth education class?" to "Will I be able to breastfeed?" The answers are generally reassuring and provide enough information to soothe a worried mom between prenatal visits. Despite the reassuring answers, however, the sheer volume of worries discussed may alarm an otherwise calm mom-to-be.

The book also features a complete nutrition plan (though many women may find it difficult to follow), a special chapter just for expectant dads, and extensive information about dealing with minor illnesses, chronic conditions, and pregnancy complications. What to Expect has guided countless women through their pregnancies and makes an informative addition to the mainstream pregnancy and childbirth bookshelf. --Jennifer Lindsay ... Read more

Reviews (633)

5-0 out of 5 stars The Best Pregnancy Book By Far
When we got pregnant, we bought and read something like 15 books. This one was the best by far.

I can think of at least three reasons this book has sold so many copies.

1> It's professional. A lot of books try too hard to be funny or cute. WTE is not humorless, but it deals with subject matter in a refreshingly straightforward way. The advice and help given echoes what our doctors have said and, in fact, answered most of our questions before we even saw our Obstetritian (no, it's not a substitute). It is quite astounding how many pregnancy books are written by fashion magazine editors or talk show writers; they sound exactly like they were written for a fashion magazine or talk show.

2> It's complete. Got a question about diet, medication, flu shots, cat ownership, false labor, vitamin supplements, cramps, ultrasound, breastfeeding or how to judge your OB/GYN? It's in here, along with tons of other stuff we didn't think about until we came across it here.

Just about every pregnancy book and magazine uses the "What Nobody Will Tell You" tagline. Once you've read this book, there will be very few surprises left. There isn't a topic that isn't touched on and most are covered in depth. That's not to say this is the only book you need, but it goes a long, long way.

3> It isn't judgemental. There are a ton of books out there that are weight obsessed, make assumptions about single parents, and/or skirt some issues that some consider controversal. This book assumes you can make up your own mind once you're presented with all the information. I'm thinking specifically about the decision to have amniocentesis our geneticist said it was "a good idea but not necessary" and OB/GYN said "there were risks but it is not a bad idea". This book wasn't a replacement for our doctors, but it gave us a lot of really useful information without taking a side.

---

Like I said, there are a ton of pregnancy books out there. Just about all of the ones we read were redundant when we held it up next to WTE. And it's pretty shocking how many pregnancy books we found to be completly WORTHLESS! I don't want to name names, and I've already written a couple of negative reviews, but I'm thinking particularly of the ones full of Erma Bombeck-esque anecdotes about La Maz classes, the "staying chic while you're pregnant" fashion mag type, the old-fashioned preachy church lady books, or--worst of all--the "nutrition" books that focused almost entirely on weight. Some of these books are written by people with no medical qualifications at all!

My advice is to feel free to pick up one of those books if you're looking for some comic relief or if your specific pregnancy may need a supplement (I'm thinking specifically of things like fertility problems, or problem pregnancies; WTE gives a lot of good information on this stuff, but might not be enough).

Either way, BUY THIS BOOK!! Even if you're not pregnant yet, you're missing out on an excellent reference if you don't.

- - -

As an aside, I was pretty shocked to read the reviews that complained about WTE containing a lot of information on rare pregnancy situations, saying that such information was "scary" and "unnecessary". WTE gives plenty of information on what is serious as opposed to what is a false alarm. Nobody PLANS on having a troubled pregnancy, aren't you better off knowing what's involved and how to detect and prevent such things?

I suppose for some people ignorance is bliss, but I'm MUCH happier being prepared.

What To Expect While You're Expecting isn't the only useful pregnancy book out there, but it is the best and it will be the standard for years to come.

2-0 out of 5 stars Some useful information, but better guides are out there
Like many people, I bought this book at the beginning of my pregnancy because I had vaguely remembered seeing the book before and assuming it must be pretty good.
Unfortunately, even though this book has gone through multiple editions, the information and tone of the book has changed little. I figured this out by reading other books, and while the information in the book was fairly progressive in the early 80's when it was originally written, many changes have taken place in ob/gyn practice and pregnancy care since then so many things are outdated.
The diet and weigth gain information in particular is unrealistic (the most recent edition has revised this info. so it may be more realistic than it was in the past.) There is no need to eat solely whole grains - folic acid supplements are commonplace in cereals and white grains and have been used since 1998. Also there is no correlation between many pregnancy complications and eating habits/weight gain (with gestational diabetes being one major exception), which the book implies in some of the question and answer sections. The hormones of pregnancy play a MUCH bigger factor in the development of pregnancy complications, which makes sense when you think about how dramatically the levels are changing in your body. Most of this information is either in the medical literature or inferred through it so it is troubling that the authors are ignoring the facts and resorting to finger-wagging and scare tactics for mothers-to-be.

Also the delivery section seems outdated but since I haven't delivered yet I don't have any first-hand experience. There is little to no mention of doulas or other "alternative" birthing procedures which are available and offered at the hospital where I'm due to deliver!
I would recommend a more recently updated pregnancy guide which has more information on alternative birthing methods and de-emphasizes diet and weight gain issues. The book supplied by my OB/GYN's office which is put out by the Association of OB/GYNs (it has a pink background cover) was the best overall source I read. There was MUCH more balanced and non-judgemental information presented, and gave more realistic information I have used throughout my pregnancy so far.

4-0 out of 5 stars Great For Beginners
This is a great all-around baby book for first-time Moms and Dads, from month-by-month developmental charts to when to call the doctor and when to relax and wait. Best alternatives are Sears and Leach, or you can pick from conservative to liberal books on child behavior or books on Dads or single parenting. My favorite recent book on parenting is "I Sleep At Red Lights: A True Story of Life After Triplets," by Bruce Stockler, which captures the incredible chaos, joy, anxiety and humor in being a parent--and making priorities. Also loved Annie Lamott's "Operating Instructions" (although some women I know object to her bizarre background.)

4-0 out of 5 stars Even "thinking" parents need reassurance sometimes
We are halfway through our first pregnancy. Four months ago, we bought this book, along with Pregnancy, Childbirth, and the Newborn (Simkin) and Your Pregnancy Week-by-Week book (Curtis). Of the three, we like Simkin's book best, and Curtis's book the least. The What to Expect book, while not as informative as the Simkin's book, is in our opinion very good.

Many of the things the other reviewers said about this book are true: the authors' diet suggestions border on the fanatical (it seems as if they are writing for obese parents-to-be), and the tone of the book is definitely patronizing. The amount of knowledge about the biological aspects of pregnancy is also minimal---the book is very light on technical terms and diagrams.

However, if you click on the image of the book at the top of the screen, you will notice a sentence that highlights the strongest point of the book: "...reassuringly answers the concerns of mothers- and father-to-be." We couldn't agree more.

Several times throughout the pregnancy, my wife has had various symptoms that, while quite normal, were alarming for a first-time pregnant couple. Neither of the other two books said very much about these symptoms, but the What to Expect book reassuringly and accurately helped us evaluate whether the symptoms were anything to worry about. Examples are: Is extreme fatigue a sign of danger? Are nosebleeds anything to worry about? What about abdominal cramps during the second trimester? In most cases, the What to Expect was the best book of the three, allowing us to quickly find these concerns in the index, and read about them at length.

Most importantly, the What to Expect book described the symptoms in sufficient detail to allow us to distinguish them from the truly serious.

In short: there are many problems with this book. The month-by-month organization is not very useful, and there just isn't very much information about the biological aspects of pregnancy (Simkin's books provide that information very well). Sometimes, though, some of us just need to put that little bit of worry in our heads to rest. And this book helped us do just that.

On a side note, I noticed that many reviewers accused this book of being alarmist. I found that the Curtis book was much more alarmist than the What to Expect book. Curtis's book might as well be named "What Could Be Wrong with Your Pregnancy Week-by-Week." The What to Expect book at least groups the most fear-inspiring stuff towards the end, in a separate chapter.

5-0 out of 5 stars Great book, couldn't have done it without it!
I'm not too sure what all the negative comments are about regarding this book because I think it is wonderful. If you're a first-time mom, this book explains absolutely everything you're experiencing. If you have difficulties, before you run and call your ob, check out this book first. Plus, it really tells you when and when not to worry, and when to call the doctor if there's a problem. I really could not have been without this book. I used it throughout my entire pregnancy and was extremely grateful that I had purchased it. It makes a great shower gift or just a new announcement of someone who is expecting. It offers guidelines on nutrition but it's best to follow your doctor's advice. You don't want to gain too much weight but you have to be sure to eat things that are healthy and not potato chips. Ginger snaps are awesome in helping getting rid of morning sickness. No herbal tea though! There's tons of helpful advice in this book and it really is a great resource especially for new moms. I just loved it! ... Read more


2. SIGN with your BABY Complete Learning Kit: US DVD Version, Book, Training Video (DVD), Quick Reference Guide
by Joseph Garcia
list price: $49.95
our price: $39.96
(price subject to change: see help)
Asin: 1932354018
Catlog: Book (2004-07)
Publisher: Northlight Communications
Sales Rank: 8627
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Book Description

The Complete Learning Kit-US DVD Version - includes the SIGN with your BABY Book, Training Video (DVD), and Quick Reference Guide (total of 3 component products) bundled together in one box. ... Read more


3. Boys Will Put You on a Pedestal (So They Can Look Up Your Skirt) : A Dad's Advice for Daughters
by Philip Van Munching
list price: $12.95
our price: $10.36
(price subject to change: see help)
Asin: 0743267788
Catlog: Book (2005-05-03)
Publisher: Simon & Schuster
Sales Rank: 596
Average Customer Review: 5.0 out of 5 stars
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Book Description

Life can be pretty tricky when you're a teenage girl.

New things matter: Clothes. Parties. Boys. Suddenly being liked and being popular don't mean the same thing. Your parents get completely bizarre when the subject of dating comes up. A friend you've had forever stabs you in the back for no good reason. Everybody you know seems to feel free to comment on your constantly changing body. Drugs and alcohol go from being what you see "bad" kids doing on television shows to what you see your friends doing when no adults are around. How are you supposed to deal?

Since life doesn't come with a set of instructions, it helps to turn to people who have been through the stuff that you're facing. Even parents can help. (Really!) In Boys Will Put You on a Pedestal (so they can look up your skirt), former teenage boy -- and current dad of two daughters -- Philip Van Munching helps guide you through some of life's most confusing topics. From Beauty to Grief, from Sex to Fate, Van Munching covers the things you most want to know about and, in his wise, warm, and funny way, offers advice on how you can become the young woman you most want to be.

... Read more

Reviews (4)

5-0 out of 5 stars A Dream of a Book
I'm a new dad of a baby girl, so even though it'll be years before my daughter's ready for it, this book caught my eye.I'm glad it did.Van Munching has written a wise, funny, eminently readable and engaging tribute to his daughters, to parenting, to the minefields of adolescence.Here's a favorite bit that seems to define the spirit of this generous book:"I've learned a little something about mistakes: they are the true measure of you....they are what define and teach you....and are maybe the only things in your life that are truly your own.Everyone will jump in to grab a little glory when you do something right; mistakes are yours and yours alone.The trick is how you make use of them."What an important, right-on observation,and how I wish I'd had someone tell ME that when I was an awkward 15 year old boy. Though "Boys will Put you on a Pedestal" is specifically written for teenage girls, its applications transcend gender. A great book.

5-0 out of 5 stars No-nonsense advice can be fun....
While this book is intended to provide teens and pre-teens with fatherly advice, it is especially useful for parents.Van Munching weaves life lessons with self-deprecation and wit into a terrific guide that encourages girls to think for themselves.I especially like the themes of integrity, accountability, empowerment and love that run through the book.It's unfair to provide kids with these gems, when it takes the rest of us 30 or more years to learn them!

5-0 out of 5 stars I Laughed, I Cried...(really!)
It has been a long time since a book has made me laugh out loud, but never has a book brought me to tears.I felt like I was taken on an incredible journey with the author, hearing about his life experiences and lessons learned -and remembering my own and how they have affected my life.It is a book that everyone can relate to, regardless of where they grew up, how they were raised, or where their interests lie.Certain experiences, such asbeing taunted, going to high school parties and peer pressure, losing a loved one, your first "love", etc., ring true for all of us. Although I am neither a teenage girl or a parent yet, I feel as if it spoke to the fifteen-year old that was me as well as the future parent that I hope to someday be.I just wish that my parents, who always have been wonderful, loving and supportive, had been able to communicate that way with me when I was growing up...because I really needed it at the time!




5-0 out of 5 stars Where oh where was this book when I was 14?!!
This is the sweet, inspiring, moving, funny book I wish I could have read when I was a young teenage girl.Van Munching writes with warmth and sensitivity about all the Big subjects -- sex, popularity, grief, self-control, faith -- without preaching or talking down, and with a winsome, unaffected style that is beyond refreshing.Weaving stories from his own growing-up with commonsense, grounded advice, he takes the reader on a wonderful journey all the way to the last chapter, called "How to be Happy" -- which, by the way, I was when I finished this superb book.My daughter is barely five, but this book will be waiting for her when she's ready."Boys will Put You onPedestal" is for daughters, for their parents, and for anyone who cares about the emotional, physical, and psychological well-being of young girls. Run and buy it. ... Read more


4. How to Talk So Kids Will Listen and Listen So Kids Will Talk
by Adele Faber, Elaine Mazlish
list price: $13.95
our price: $10.46
(price subject to change: see help)
Asin: 0380811960
Catlog: Book (1999-10-01)
Publisher: Perennial Currents
Sales Rank: 603
Average Customer Review: 4.56 out of 5 stars
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Book Description

Here is the bestselling book that will give you the know-how you need to be effective with your children. Enthusiastically praised by parents and professionals around the world, the down-to-earth, respectful approach of Faber and Mazlish makes relationships with children of all ages less stressful and more rewarding.

Recently revised and updated with fresh insights and suggestions, How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk is full of practical, innovative ways to solve common problems and build foundations for lasting relationships.

... Read more

Reviews (77)

3-0 out of 5 stars Good book, but not as thorough as should be
I just read this book and -- though it it's right on the money in its attitude towards childrearing -- it doesn't describe the mechanics of how the "listening" and "talking" skills work as well as Thomas Gordon's Parent Effectiveness Training (P.E.T.). P.E.T. has a chapter called How to Listen so Children Will Talk and another called How to Talk so Children Will Listen. I wonder how the autors of this book got away with borrowing the title for their book straight out of some chapters in another (the original P.E.T. was published years before -- the one at stores now is a new edition).

Lest it sound like I'm slamming this book, truth is it's not a bad read at all. But for an in-depth explanation of how these skills can be put to daily use, I'd go for P.E.T. Better yet, read both.

Even better yet, first read Emotional Intelligence by Daniel Goleman to get an idea WHY these skills are so important to a child's development, then follow it up with P.E.T. and this book.

4-0 out of 5 stars True to it's title
I thought this book might be about how to use praise and language to avoid facing discipline issues with children but it is not like that at all. It teaches parents to be authorative and send the right messages without micro managing their children. The suggested changes are fairly straight forward and common sense, but may require some practice. Fortunately thare are many well illustrated examples and practical exercises to reinforce these ideas. This book stictly sticks to the topic of comunication and establishing cooperation which makes it an excellent supplement to any parents existing parenting style. Teaches mutual respect without surrendering parental authourity. A very good read.

5-0 out of 5 stars A terrific book
I feel this should be required reading for parents (and people in general). Easy to read. Great concepts. Great examples. And just as importantly, the tone is very respectful of the parents (so many of the other books on this topic tend to talk to parents like they don't get it...). I recommend it heartily.

5-0 out of 5 stars Talking To Feelings With Just the Right Words...WORKS!
Although this best selling book was originally written more than 20 years ago, I find the advice and specific suggestions extremely on target in 2004. The main strategy that has made such a positive difference in my life is to acknowlege my child's feelings before I give the direction for compliance. Most of the time, I do try to give well-meaning, honest (not always calm) responses to my 3-year-old that unfortunately sometimes escalate into a raging tantrum or no win power struggle such as in the following example at bedtime...My son announced, "I'm really scared of the big closet monster, Mommy." I responded honestly, "There's nothing to be scared about, there is no such thing as a real monster. Monsters are just make believe."...This conversation was followed by a long screamimg and kicking fit from a very tired, frustrated little boy.

Now I have learned that by calmly talking to my son's feelings first, he knows that his point of view is understood and important to me. Then I have a better chance of getting him to stay in his bed. Because I chose to validate his feelings first, I got the cooperation I was after. I learned to say, "I see how worried you are...I've got a great idea...I'm getting the broom out to sweep the entire floor including every corner of your closet to make sure nothing is hiding in there...OK, it's completely empty, honey...only clothes in here. Hop in bed and I'll rub you back before our special good night kiss." ...It worked like a charm!

I also highly recommend another newer pocket-sized book to accompany this classic tome called "The Pocket Parent." It is based on the very same philosophy of Haim Ginott and is chock full of hundreds of quick read tips and funny, true, short anecdotes from moms and dads relating to the challenging behaviors of 2-5 year olds (anger, bad words, bedtime and mealtime refusals, sibling fights, interrupting, whining and many more). These 2 books have taught me and my husband so many techniques that have worked at least once. We continue to refer to them for specific sensible strategies (including the exact words to try on our son). We appreciate the upbeat tone and great sense of humor of both books. Additionally, FYI...both parenting books have been translated into Spanish and are both available through amazon.com.

5-0 out of 5 stars If you only read one parenting book...
...make it this one.

Effective communication is the foundation of good parenting. This book has practical, easy-to-implement techniques to improve your communication with your kids. The format is such that busy parents can pick it up and read briefly, yet still come away with a couple useful ideas to put into play right away. It is written in themed sections and there are cartoon scenarios to illustrate exchanges between parents and kids. The cartoons show things going poorly and then a better way to approach the exchange. At the end of each section, a one-page box sums up the techniques described, along with a real-life example of each principle.

Authors Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish worked with noted child psychologist Haim Ginott. In running parenting workshops utilizing Ginott's ideas, they accumulated lots of great real-life stories from parents that they use to illustrate their advice in this book. The content of the book is based on the themes that emerged from their parenting workshops, and thus resonates well with parents who want practical, straight-forward advice.

This is a book that we keep handy on the nightstand and each of us picks it up again from time to time for a refresher (it's so easy to fall back into non-productive ways!)

Improving your communication with your children will help you to get them to do what you want them to do; to understand better how they feel about things; to help them become more responsible; and to get them to talk to you--a real key as your child grows older and enters the teen years.

*If you have more than one child, check out Faber and Mazlish's Siblings Without Rivalry: How to Help Your Children Live Together so You Can Live Too, which is really the chapter on sibling rivalry that grew too large to fit into How to Talk! ... Read more


5. Patternmaking for Fashion Design (4th Edition)
by Helen Joseph-Armstrong
list price: $77.33
our price: $77.33
(price subject to change: see help)
Asin: 0131112112
Catlog: Book (2005-01-15)
Publisher: Prentice Hall
Sales Rank: 331748
Average Customer Review: 4.21 out of 5 stars
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Reviews (19)

5-0 out of 5 stars The textbook I go back to most often
This was one of my favorite textbooks from design school. It's the one I refer back to most often, because I know what I want will be there, and will be presented clearly. It is the most complete reference I have in my library for flat-patternmaking, and covers everything from making basic slopers from measurements (the book provides measurements for standard sizes, or substitute a real client's), through all sorts of bodices, sleeves, collars, skirts, pants, and other details. Also included are sections on knitwear, including swimwear, and a good portion of the book is devoted to children's clothing. Highly recommended and well worth the price.

5-0 out of 5 stars Excellent!
This is a great book to learn how to make patterns and also a great reference if you already know how. The pictures and diagrams are very detailed and helpful and the instructions are easy to read. I highly reccomend it!

2-0 out of 5 stars [Knock off]
Okay, this book promises good stuff, but ... could it be any harder to understand? You basically need two books to interpret how to make a single pattern. Very vague. We use this book at FIDM and I think it would have been better if the two books we use were put into one. Use it if you must, because it is a good reference for children's and body suits. Also, the illustrations are better than most.

3-0 out of 5 stars It has its shortcomings
This is the book we use at my college. I can't compare it to other patternmaking books, but I know that Armstrong's has problems and really needs a good editor. Occasionally, steps are missing and measurements aren't accurate, and both my classmates and my teacher have found it frustrating.

5-0 out of 5 stars The Teacher's Guide
I am living in Jamaica West Indies,We do not have this book here on the market so a friend who travel brought it and lown it to me .As a fashion desinging teacher i found this book very good,i need one for myself but i can notbuy it through this method.
So the bottom line is i used this book as my teaching guide.
Thank you.
I am,
Cynthia Mcdonald.
31 Aqualitavale Ave,
Kingston 20.
jamaica West Indes. ... Read more


6. The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work : A Practical Guide from the Country's Foremost Relationship Expert
by John M. Gottman, Nan Silver
list price: $14.95
our price: $10.17
(price subject to change: see help)
Asin: 0609805797
Catlog: Book (2000-05-16)
Publisher: Three Rivers Press
Sales Rank: 744
Average Customer Review: 4.74 out of 5 stars
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Book Description

John Gottman has revolutionized the study of marriage by using rigorous scientific procedures to observe the habits of married couples in unprecedented detail over many years. Here is the culmination of his life's work: the seven principles that guide couples on the path toward a harmonious and long-lasting relationship. Packed with practical questionnaires and exercises, The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work is the definitive guide for anyone who wants their relationship to attain its highest potential. ... Read more

Reviews (46)

5-0 out of 5 stars Excellent book, with some reservations to keep in mind....
I loved this book, but am afraid it may be a bit misleading to the average couple. The book identifies things which are common to successful marriages, and offers great exercises for each principle. It is easy to read and understand and I highly recommend it.

However, I do have concerns that the author denigrates marriage counseling so often. I agree with him that communication is not always the key to successful relationships, but a good therapist will help the couple to use good communication while also creating a better relationship based on these principles. John Gottman conducts very important research into marriage relationships, and understanding the principles of a strong marriage is important. However, if the average couple were to take this book as a "to-do" list, it would not necessarily create a good marriage. These principles need to have belief and passion supporting them, the principles alone are not enough.

I highly recommend this book as a resource for integrating with other relationship resources.

5-0 out of 5 stars Valuable insights into relationships!
It is always a great pleasure to read GottmanÂ's book. Though the title is a bit misleading (it reminds oneself too much of pop psychology and sounds a bit too simplified), the author greatly succeeds in laying out the basic principles for making marriage work.
He is to be considered as THE leading marital psychologist and far outranks other authors, e.g. John Gray, by his meticulously applying research methods to relationships. This is the hallmark of the book: the advice given is rooted in his more than 30 years of clinical research about marriage problems. And: it clearly helps!
The book is fun to read as it combines practical advice with highly interesting exercises which you can either do on your own or with your partner. Real life examples supplement and clarify the basic principles.
One of the very few psychologists who can explain their findings in everyday language! I can also recommend his other books, e.g. the heart of parenting

5-0 out of 5 stars The best book on marriage
Whether you`re newlyweds or have been married for 15 years,this book will make your relationship with your spouse closer and more satisfying.A truely different approach here,much better than that "men are from mars,women are from venus" hogwash.

5-0 out of 5 stars Started a new chapter of my life!
A few years ago, my marriage was going down the drain. I had no idea what was going on or what I could do about it. I felt helpless, hopeless and unhappy. Until then, I was very skeptical about these types of books so I never read them. But became so desperate that I opened this book in a store like a drowning person reaching for a straw. That was the beginning of the end. This book forced me to see my marriage from a completely objective point of view and helped me realize how I was part of the problem. Bad habits die hard but I kept making an effort to change. After a month or two, my spouse noticed this change and became curious about the book as well. We became even more interested in these things and read another book called "The Ever-Transcending Spirit" by Toru Sato (I'd highly recommend this fabulous book too if you are ready to take one more positive step in your relationships). Now we appreciate each other. Now we talk about meaningful and interesting things in life. Even though this may sound very cheesy, in many ways we could say that our marriage is in a renaissance period. We still have a long way to go but there already is a newfound calmness in our lives that was never there before.

5-0 out of 5 stars No Bull. Just Research and Experience
Gottman debunks the pop-psychology theories and goes for the facts. His books are GREAT for those of us too cynical to swallow the latest relationsip fad, or for those too rational to believe we're all born into a box we can't get out of.

Gottman's approach is practical, sensible, and open to all types of people and all types of relationships. You don't have to give up who you are or try to make your marriage look like someone else's. Just start with simple steps to do more of what works to help your relationship, and begin to recognize what you might want to do less.

Best of all, it's all backed by science! Gottman doesn't just preach his assumptions and opinions. He's actually studied real people for three decades, and he has great examples of how similar signs of hope or problems show up in situations and people that may seem very different.

Even my husband, phobic of psychology, was willing to talk about the ideas in this book. There is no higher praise. ... Read more


7. The Girlfriends' Guide to Pregnancy
by Vicki Iovine
list price: $14.00
our price: $10.50
(price subject to change: see help)
Asin: 0671524313
Catlog: Book (1995-10-01)
Publisher: Pocket
Sales Rank: 484
Average Customer Review: 3.86 out of 5 stars
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Amazon.com

Beginning with the "10 Greatest Lies About Pregnancy" (number 10: Lamaze works), and ending with postpartum dementia, Vicki Iovine's Girlfriends' Guide to Pregnancy has fast become the laywoman's mouthpiece for the American pregnancy experience. Iovine is irreverent, sassy, and incredibly reassuring as she exposes the "truths" of pregnancy and childbirth, from sex to cellulite to cesareans. Iovine birthed four kids in six years, none of them twins, which certainly qualifies her as an expert. The Girlfriends' Guide to Pregnancy does reveal Iovine's particular cultural biases (pregnant or not, most of us don't have record-producer husbands, hang out with supermodels, or wear size-four pants) and philosophical beliefs (she's not a particularly strong proponent of natural childbirth or nursing), but, taken with a grain or two of salt, she provides many hilarious moments, acres of advice, and honest reassurance readers will find nowhere else. --Ericka Lutz ... Read more

Reviews (717)

5-0 out of 5 stars The lighter side of pregnancy
I cannot disagree with all the negative reviews more!

Vicki's (hey, I can call her that, we're 'Girlfriends' now) book has made me laugh out loud and also read in rapt silence. She makes it abundantly clear that this book is not to be taken as a be-all-end-all medical reference on pregnancy. Instead, she offers first-hand accounts of what this 9 month experience is all about and does so in a frank manner.

Since this is my first pregnancy, I've been scouring the book stores for every book written on the subject and feel this is the first one that doesn't preach. I like her honest takes on eating, exercise, and pain management during labor. I don't believe she ever tells the reader to eat poorly, not to exercise at all, and that an epidural is a must - she offers her opinions on the topics and leaves it at that.

I love this book and encourage first timers and other moms-to-be to read and enjoy this book as well. If nothing else, remember that laughter is the best medicine...and you can even take it while you're pregnant!

5-0 out of 5 stars FUNNY! And SO TRUE
I can't believe what some people are writing about this book. Each time I start to become scared about my pregnancy or about giving birth, I pick this book up to make me smile. Thank you Vicki Iovine for helping me with the difficult times of my first pregnancy! I've recommended this book to all I know that are pregnant!

5-0 out of 5 stars Just for fun
The Girlfriend's Guide to Pregnancy is politically incorrect at times, for sure. That's part of the fun. Vicki Iovine isn't afraid to spill her guts and talk about all the things that pregnant women tend to get a bit neurotic (dare I say crazy?) about while they are pregnant. A lot of pregnancy book authors dance around these issues. Only a handful of authors confront them head-on. I give Vicki a high-five for being one of the few who is willing to tell it like it is.

1-0 out of 5 stars Save your money
Reading this boring, trite, and obnoxiously fluffy book has made me appreciate the bright, funny, and wonderful girlfriends I have in my life. Granted, there are a few humorous moments in this book, but much of the humor is stale. (Perhaps I've been ruined by all the truly funny material I've read in my life.) Please, do yourself a favor: if you must read this book, buy it used - - especially if you can find it at a garage sale!

2-0 out of 5 stars A fluffy read, but not a lot to learn here
This falls under the entertainment and not pregnancy/childbirth education heading. The book focuses on the author's experiences and is unabashedly biased. It's a good background on what to expect with regards to symptoms, tests, etc.. It's also rather funny in some parts; however, I don't beleive the author ever intended for this to be a medical reference (although it's very medical-focused). Buy it used, there are tons of copies out there. Don't use it as a reference when making your decisions. ... Read more


8. Family First : Your Step-by-Step Plan for Creating a Phenomenal Family
by Phillip C. McGraw
list price: $26.00
our price: $15.60
(price subject to change: see help)
Asin: 0743264932
Catlog: Book (2004-09-14)
Publisher: Free Press
Sales Rank: 42
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Book Description

Do you feel that your family is not what it used to be, or what it has the potential to be? Do you worry that the parenting decisions you're making today may be scarring your child for life? Do you sometimes feel you are in a tug-of-war with the world over who will shape your child's values and beliefs?

With Family First: Your Step-by-Step Plan for Creating a Phenomenal Family, Dr. Phil offers a new classic on family life -- and gives parents real answers and a plan for being the most positive and effective parents possible. Starting right now, you can begin to make realistic choices and take day-to-day actions that can make your family phenomenal. You must decide that you will lead your family with strength and love and that peace and joy are not just for the people next door or on TV. They're for your family.

In Family First, Dr. Phil gives it to parents straight: even in this fast-paced world your family should be the center of your life and your child's life. Parenting is the most important and noble act you will ever undertake, yet American families are threatened like never before from the inside as well as the outside -- many of us fight too much, don't get involved enough in our children's lives, or get bogged down in life's daily struggles instead of keeping our eye on the big picture of our family's well-being.

Dr. Phil has been working with families for over twenty-five years to help them repair the fissures that have fractured their home lives. In Family First, he provides a proven action plan to help parents determine the strengths and weaknesses of their parenting style. His 7 Tools for Purposeful Parenting cover the most important elements for any parent: parenting for success -- for the purpose of raising cooperative, caring, and competent children. Exercises, scripts, assessments, solutions for specific problems, and precise directions for implementing the steps you need to take are all included in this landmark work.

Dr. Phil shows parents how to make changes now -- how to put a stop to your children's tantrums; talk to them about peer pressure or self-esteem; instill values like integrity, honesty, and respect for other people; and bring order back to your house. If you want your child to have a happy, fulfilled life, you must open your eyes to the crucial role you play in his or her development.

Most important, Dr. Phil's new book offers you and your family hope -- for a phenomenal home life now, and a productive, fulfilling future for your children. As Dr. Phil says, you are not just raising children, you are also raising adults, and everything you do today impacts what kind of adult your child will become. You are building the future. ... Read more


9. Them : A Memoir of Parents
by Francinedu Plessix Gray
list price: $29.95
our price: $19.77
(price subject to change: see help)
Asin: 1594200491
Catlog: Book (2005-05-05)
Publisher: Penguin Press HC, The
Sales Rank: 391
Average Customer Review: 5.0 out of 5 stars
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Book Description

The much-acclaimed biographer's unflinchingly honest, wise, and forgiving portrait of her own famous parents: two wildly talented Russian émigrés who fled wartime Paris to become one of New York's first and grandest power couples.

Tatiana du Plessix, the wife of a French diplomat, was a beautiful, sophisticated "white Russian" who had been the muse of the famous Russian poet Vladimir Mayakovsky. Alexander Liberman, the ambitious son of a prominent Russian Jew, was a gifted magazine editor and aspiring artist. As part of the progressive artistic Russian émigré community living in Paris in the 1930s, the two were destined to meet. They began a passionate affair, and the year after Paris was occupied in World War II they fled to New York with Tatiana's young daughter, Francine.

There they determinedly rose to the top of high society, holding court to a Who's Who list of the midcentury's intellectuals and entertainers. Flamboyant and outrageous, bold and brilliant, they were irresistible to friends like Marlene Dietrich, Salvador Dalí, and the publishing tycoon Condé Nast. But to those who knew them well they were also highly neurotic, narcissistic, and glacially self-promoting, prone to cut out of their lives, with surgical precision, close friends who were no longer of use to them.

Tatiana became an icon of New York fashion, and the hats she designed for Saks Fifth Avenue were de rigueur for stylish women everywhere. Alexander Liberman, who devotedly raised Francine as his own child from the time she was nine, eventually came to preside over the entire Condé Nast empire. The glamorous life they shared was both creative and destructive and was marked by an exceptional bond forged out of their highly charged love and raging self-centeredness. Their obsessive adulation of success and elegance was elevated to a kind of worship, and the high drama that characterized their lives followed them to their deaths. Tatiana, increasingly consumed with nostalgia for a long-lost Russia, spent her last years addicted to painkillers. Shortly after her death, Alexander, then age eighty, shocked all who knew him by marrying her nurse.

Them: A Portrait of Parents is a beautifully written homage to the extraordinary lives of two fascinating, irrepressible people who were larger than life emblems of a bygone age. Written with honesty and grace by the person who knew them best, this generational saga is a survivor's story. Tatiana and Alexander survived the Russian Revolution, the fall of France, and New York's factory of fame. Their daughter, Francine, survived them.
... Read more

Reviews (2)

5-0 out of 5 stars A Memoir to Remember
Francine du Plessix Gray who, has written several fine novels as well as complex and satisfying biographies of the Marquis de Sade and Simone Weil, now tenderly explores the lives of her famously mercurial parents. "Them" is a success any way you look at it; the elegant writing and the loving way she examines the life she had with these completely self-absorbed people make this memoir worth reading.

Her parents were Tatiana Yakoleva, a renowned New York designer of hats, and Alex Liberman, who was one of the creators of modern fashion journalism at Vogue. The du Plessix in Francine's name comes from her birth father, a hero of the French Resistance who died early in World War II. Although he never adopted her, Alex Liberman was the father she knew and loved, the man she and her mother always saw as the one who rescued them from the horrors of war. Tatiana had already fled one revolution, leaving Russia to live in Paris as a teenager with her grandmother, aunt, and uncle. In her early 20s, she met the dynamic Russian revolutionary poet and playwright Vladimir Mayakovsky during one of his visits to France. He wrote one of his most beautiful poems to her and begged her to return to Russia with him. But her fear was too great, and she married diplomat Bertrand du Plessix before Mayakovsky could return to again persuade her. Mayakovsky had been under growing scrutiny for his criticism of increasing oppression in the new Soviet Union, and he committed suicide shortly thereafter. His letters were one of the Tatiana's most carefully guarded items when she fled Europe.

Photos from the family's arrival in New York make them look like a tight-knit trio, but Tatiana and Alex were terrible parents. They shuttled off Froshka, as they called her, with all sorts of extraneous family and friends. A friend had to tell her that her father was dead. They failed to tell her when they got married. They were as ambitious and thoughtless as two people can be. But they loved her very much.

What makes this memoirs so remarkable is how warmly du Plessix Gray writes about all this. She does not see herself as a victim, which is probably why she has a close and healthy family life as an adult. Beautiful writing, fearlessness, and compassion make this a memoir that will hold readers captive from start to finish.

5-0 out of 5 stars We cannot choose our parents . . .
"Them" is an engrossing read.Mrs. Gray portrays her parents in their full roundedness with no holds barred when it comes to revealing their faults as well as their virtues.In reading the memoir, I found myself saying "what fascinating people yet how obnoxious. . . how powerful an emotion love is to permit a daughter to see all her parents' faults and still treat them with respect."The book is also a portrait of a time and an industry (magazine publishing) and of people finely attuned to the needs of fashionable society.It's also about Change and how we all become outmoded when our work fails to meet changing fashions. ... Read more


10. Being Perfect
by Anna Quindlen
list price: $12.95
our price: $10.36
(price subject to change: see help)
Asin: 0375505490
Catlog: Book (2005-04-26)
Publisher: Random House
Sales Rank: 609
Average Customer Review: 4.0 out of 5 stars
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Reviews (8)

2-0 out of 5 stars Entire book could be written in one paragraph
Charging $12.95 for a 64-page book that is essentially a commencement speech sprinkled with photos from the Fifties seems the ultimate in chutzpah.Although I love Anna Quindlen's columns and novels, this book warning about the displeasures of perfection is not worthy of hardcover treatment -- it should be one in a collection of essays.There is nothing here that has not not been said before, many times before by others, some even more eloquent than Quindlen.Save yor money and read the amazon.com reviews -- you'll get the entire gist and more from those.

5-0 out of 5 stars AMAZING
This brief picture book contains an essay based on a commencement address by Ms. Quindlen.

The basic concept of the essay is that a young person can get so caught up in meeting others' expectations . . . and doing so perfectly . . . so that there's no room left for the young person to be her- or himself. Instead, you become a perfect imitation of the current manias. Ms. Quindlen wisely warns that " . . . nothing important, or meaningful, or beautiful, or interesting, or great, ever came out of imitations."

She warns that it's hard work being yourself. There's no model for you to follow. You have to face yourself and make the most of your imperfections.

Ms. Quindlen also warns against the concept of "effortless perfection" that young people seek to portray. It's an oxymoron. Perfection is a great task and the goals are constantly being shifted for you. In addition, it's the imperfections that draw the eye and make the hand-made rug more appealing than the machine-made "perfect" one.

To be human is to be imperfect. Revel in it!

To me, the photographs were the best part of the book, and they would have reproduced much better if they had been on larger pages. I graded the book down one star for failing to do justice to the photographs.

The book opens with a photograph of a young woman carrying an enormous briefcase on her back. It's a metaphor for the weight of carrying the need to be perfect in the world's eyes. The next photograph has six women in bathing suits at the beach. One is standing on her head while five similar-looking women pose in high heels with their arms around each other sitting on a rail. In the next image, two identically dressed females compare their shoes.

There's a lot of humor in the images. You'll see bobby soxers, women walking with books balanced on their heads, a girl on stilts, a bride gaping as her veil flaps ahead of her in the breeze, three generations of women profiled, and lots of old-fashioned clothing . . . all of which were considered "new and perfect" at one point in time or another. You'll be giggling a lot over these photographs.

There are also some romantic, idealized images to reflect the need to be yourself. Those will cause you to yearn for tranquility and satisfaction.

3-0 out of 5 stars Perfect Is As Perfect Does.
There is no such thing as being perfect, but try to tell that to young mothers.At one time or another, all women strive for perfection.Men are born perfect.Like the male birs who are the beautiful ones who must get the notice of the female, men don't have to fool with makeup, or worry about hairdos.If they're clean and don't overdo the after shave, most are perfectly groomed without trying.

But with women, we get caught in "the perfection trap" not only with looking as good as we can but training little girsl that subterfuge is natural.What gets to me are all the old (really old) women who continue to dye their hair.I know one who werars two sets of eyelashes at the same time.I wonder who she plans to seduce, as more men look at me with my natural hair, no eye makeup and coverup foundation with lighter shades of lipstick.

This is a book of pictures more than guidance.That of the old woman reading to her cat is the most perfect.The two girls dressed like we did back in the Fifties with books on their heads as they walk are almost perfect.The five swimsuit dressed girls in their high heel shoes sitting on the railing watching another do a head stand looked to be right out of the Forties.Maybe that was perfection back then.

Anna says that "trying to be perfect may be inevitable for people who are smart amd ambitious and interested in the world and its good opinion.What is really hard and amazing if giving up on being perfect and beginning the work of becoming yourself."Well said.

5-0 out of 5 stars Oh, the Pressure!
What a relief this quick and easy to read, sweet and oh, so
insightful book is.Anna Quindlen's style of writing is inviting.
I immediately felt like I was chatting with a fascinating old friend
with whom I had much in common.Anna writes about the pressure ambitious
people tend to put on themselves to be perfect.Where good is not enough
and the never-ending pursuit of perfection is chasing a moving target --
she offers a simple solution.Using examples from her own life as well as
literary allusions, Anna demonstrates her theory clearly and convincingly.
Give up the struggle.At first it seems down-right un-American.Pursuit of
happiness is our heritage.Anna tenderly lays out the possibility that the
issue is the "running" itself.I highly recommend this book and offer further
that perhaps you, too could use the break.I love the way that kindness to and
with oneself could be a way of life.This book dovetails nicely with
another one of my favorite books called "Working on Yourself Doesn't Work"
written by Ariel and Shya Kane. The Kanes too offer an ease to living a life
I hadn't known was possible before. Who knew that life could be gentle
and exciting, smooth and fulfilling.What if we could still get the things
we want but skip the pressure we put on ourselves over how long it's
taking or how wrong or right we're doing it all?It makes for a life worth
living.Like I suggested above, read them both Anna Quindlen's "Being Perfect"
and "Working on Yourself Doesn't Work" by Ariel and Shya Kane and try on a fun life
for yourself.

4-0 out of 5 stars Short book; potent message
Anna Quindlen is one of those haunting writers, one who can fool you with a simple, basic cover and an ostensibly simple message. Then, she hits home with poignant views that makes one think, engage in introspection, and question why we do what we do.

Quindlen has done it again with BEING PERFECT. This little 64 page book extolls the wisdom of avoiding perfectionism, or the perfection trap. She furthers her argument of the dangers of the perfection trap by describing the consequences and the toll it can take on life. She provides answers to the trap, answers that most likely will assuage those habitual perfectionists, as well as the novice. Satisfying oneself is a goal worthy of effort, yet difficult at times to quantify and compose as many perfectionists don't look at finite goals. Consequently, perfectionism can be a slippery slope.

Quindlen moves ahead of the pack by asking the reader to consider what makes YOU happy, not your friends or family, YOU. This is an underlying message in the book...set goals and objectives in life that create happiness for you. We all have a tendency, at times, do what it takes to make those around us pleased or happy. The problem is simply this: these acts are not necessarily what makes us happy and thus, we are not living our own life.

Quite honestly, Quindlen has created an essay designed for introspection and enrichment, one that is quite thought-provoking. This is a book that can be read and re-read, and quite quickly. Her message, though short, is quite potent. Recommended. ... Read more


11. Unconditional Parenting : Moving from Rewards and Punishments to Love and Reason
by Alfie Kohn
list price: $25.00
our price: $16.50
(price subject to change: see help)
Asin: 0743487478
Catlog: Book (2005-03-22)
Publisher: Atria
Sales Rank: 998
Average Customer Review: 4.0 out of 5 stars
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Book Description

Most parenting guides begin with the question "How can we get kids to do what they're told?"--and then proceed to offer various techniques for controlling them. In this truly groundbreaking book, nationally respected educator Alfie Kohn begins instead by asking "What do kids need--and how can we meet those needs?" What follows from that question are ideas for working with children rather than doing things to them.

One basic need all children have, Kohn argues, is to be loved unconditionally, to know that they will be accepted even if they screw up or fall short. Yet conventional approaches to parenting such as punishments (including "time-outs"), rewards (including positive reinforcement), and other forms of control teach children that they are loved only when they please us or impress us. Kohn cites a body of powerful, and largely unknown, research detailing the damage caused by leading children to believe they must earn our approval. That's precisely the message children derive from common discipline techniques, even though it's not the message most parents intend to send.

More than just another book about discipline, though, Unconditional Parenting addresses the ways parents think about, feel about, and act with their children. It invites them to question their most basic assumptions about raising kids while offering a wealth of practical strategies for shifting from "doing to" to "working with" parenting--including how to replace praise with the unconditional support that children need to grow into healthy, caring, responsible people. This is an eye-opening, paradigm-shattering book that will reconnect readers to their own best instincts and inspire them to become better parents. ... Read more

Reviews (12)

5-0 out of 5 stars Carefully reasoned explanation of good parenting
Alfie Kohn consistently writes thought provoking books which are well supported by research, which is carefully cited. As a result, you can easily follow up on any of the ideas he discusses. Because he provides a thoughtful and reasonable explanation of his ideas, you can generalize to many situations using the logic he lays out. His argument is deeper than "what works" or "what we have always done." And that means it requires thoughtful consideration. It is well worth the effort. I am a parent, a grandparent, a psychotherapist, and a parent educator. I use all of Kohn's books, and I am extremely grateful that he has addressed the issues of parenting. It is helpful to be able to recommend good books to the parents with whom I have the privilege of working.

5-0 out of 5 stars Runs counter to everything else I've read or heard.
...and illicited numerous knee jerks from me in the course or reading.And, yet, I'm unable to refute anything he has said in this book.Even if you choose to ignore what this author has to say, you should read this book to understand what you are choosing to ignore.

3-0 out of 5 stars Not much practical advice
I bought this book after hearing the author on NPR. While I agree that time-outs, rewards, and punishments may be overused these days, I had trouble ferreting out what exactly he proposed as their alternatives. The book is more about his parenting philosophies and about criticising other parenting books than about giving practical advice to parents. There is little advice and few real-life examples.
Two things I found upsetting about the book: one, his assertion that "other" parenting books would recommend that you deny your child their bedtime cuddling routine after a tantrum. I would like to know WHAT book he is referring to, because neither my Mommy friends nor I could recall ever hearing such advice. Secondly, he says that if a mother refers to herself in the third person ("let Mommy help you") when the child is old enough to understand the pronouns "me" or "I", that the mother is distancing herself from her child. Nonsense! I refer to myself as "Mommy" all the time, it's a title I'm proud to use exclusively when speaking with my daughter, and I am quite certain that I am not distancing myself from her by referring to myself as Mommy, subconsciously or otherwise.

5-0 out of 5 stars This positive parent loved it!
Our family has, by and large, adopted most aspects of attachment parenting and, as our daughter grew, positive parenting.As I read this book, it felt as if Alfie Kohn had been inhabiting the recesses of my mind that were (to me) inexplicably torn about giving our daughter a treat when she used the potty.Whether you read Alfie Kohn, Magda Gerber, William Sears, or many others, respect for children remains key.

As a Children's Librarian, I see many flavors of parenting every day.I also see the effects of parenting styles on unattended children on a daily basis.What helps me remain a caring professional even on rough days is respecting the young customers who need assistance.I've seen enough child reactions to silently hope for better from my own daughter, but this book has encouraged me to think about what I really want for her, why I want it, and how to allow her to become the best person she can be.

5-0 out of 5 stars This is deeper than "what works or not..."
I am always amazed at people's reactions to truth. In reading some of the less enthusiastic reviews here, I can't help but want to point out that this book touched a chord in them because they are defending their own need to parent conditionally. Alfie Kohn is not extreme or radical or unreasonable in any way. What he writes about speaks to a child's healthy psyche, spirit and self. But it takes a parent who is self-aware and honest enough to look within in order to think about things from a child's point of view. I ask this: if conditional parenting (timeouts, spanking, bribery, punishments, etc) apparently "works," then why do we have so many people in jail, on drugs, on the streets, on Prozac, suffering from eating disorders, abusing themselves and others, crashing and burning, cheating, gambling, running,staggering out of failed marriages and sabotaging jobs and their own potential???
Alfie Kohn dares to speak out about something deeply human and ironically profoundly difficult for so many people to grasp and accept. Many parents want control of their children because those adults are threatened by anything that affects their perceived power and suppressed fears. Since so many adults are wounded, unresolved, still suffering the slings and arrows of their own upbringing, they feel only marginally better about themselves if they are keeping the children "in line." It's tragic. And I applaud Alfie Kohn for having the passion and courage to advocate for our children. How many adults are in therapy saying "My parents never thought I was good enough..." Or "I never really felt lived for who I was..." ... Read more


12. What to Expect the Toddler Years
by Arlene Eisenberg
list price: $16.95
our price: $11.86
(price subject to change: see help)
Asin: 0894809946
Catlog: Book (1994-01-11)
Publisher: Workman Publishing Company
Sales Rank: 890
Average Customer Review: 3.52 out of 5 stars
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Book Description

They guided you through pregnancy, they guided you through baby's first year, and now they'll guide you through the toddler years. In a direct continuation of What to Expect When You're Expecting (over 9.6 million copies in print) and What to Expect the First Year (over 5.6 million copies in print), America's bestselling pregnancy and childcare authors turn their uniquely comprehensive, lively, and reassuring coverage to years two and three.

Organized month by month for the second year (months 12-24) and quarterly through the third year (months 24-36), What to Expect the Toddler Years covers each growth and development phase parents are likely to encounter-when they're likely to encounter it. Hundreds of questions and answers treat everything from eating and sleeping problems to day care, tantrums, bottle mouth, shyness, self-esteem, and more. An entire third section of the book is devoted to toilet training, safety, and health, and a fourth covers special concerns-the exceptional child, siblings, and balancing work and parenting.

Remarkably thorough, caring and intelligent, What to Expect the Toddler Years is as valuable for the seasoned parent as it is for the new parent. 2.4 million copies in print. ... Read more

Reviews (58)

5-0 out of 5 stars the best toddler book out there of its kind, a true lifesave
The authors write the most comprehensive survey of all aspects of parenting a toddler. In particular, I find the advice on behavioral issues so helpful. Something I didn't "expect" to be so enlightening and thorough. The common sense format makes it easy to find exactly what you are looking for. A must for any parent!

I'd also like to comment on the customer review from NY dated 1/24. I do not think the author's biases on nursing and self comforting stand out any more than any other author on the wide variety of subjects on children that are out there. We are ALL passionate about raising our children the way we think is best for each and every one of us, including the authors. I'd be surprised if they were NOT apparent. I'm happy to know that you still found it helpful!

3-0 out of 5 stars A good reference, but....
I bought this book as a first time parent who wanted something encyclopedic that we could reach for in the middle of the night if necessary, and this book serves that purpose. It has a good index, which is helpful. Unfortunately, the authors seem to take advantage of far too many opportunities to peddle their agenda of weaning children by one year from breast or bottle, as well as getting them to sleep alone in a crib throughout the night. As other reviewers pointed out, they include some inaccurate information about breast feeding, e.g. they say it has no nutritional benefits (does this mean a liquid containing protein and nutrients is the equivalent of a candy cane?) after one year and question if it will somehow delay the development of self comforting skills if the child is able to obtain comfort through nursing. With regard to sleeping through the night alone, they do not simply recommend it, they write that you are depriving your child of the opportunity to learn to self comfort along with a host of other reasons why they believe it can be harmful to comfort your chld at night without commenting on the possible benefits.

The bias is not in the questions they raise, but rather in the fact that they do not discuss opposing views. It seems to me that the reason the book elicits strong reactions is that it is probably the best one of its type available. The overall quality of the book makes these areas of bias where the authors state their position as gospel stand out as extremely disappointing to the reader who disagrees with the authors particular biases.

There are serious problems affecting children in our country and a high rate of violence among children and adults. We have school programs to teach empathy in an effort to decrease violence among older children. Perhaps this would not be as necessary if those we look to as experts counseled all new parents to show greater empathy to our children and to worry less about teaching our infants and toddlers to comfort themselves.

4-0 out of 5 stars Good Info
These books are nice for first time parents. Nice to have general information to use. Great for a baby shower gift.

4-0 out of 5 stars Very Comprehensive---but Lacks an Easy Access Topic Format
My wife and I feel that the WHAT TO EXPECT TODDLER YEARS belongs in every new parent's library along with the other 2 books in the series. They have truly been our "parenting bibles." There is a great deal of useful information in this comprehensive reference guide about 1's, 2's and 3's, and we especially like the medical advice offered. However, we are sometimes disappointed when we attempt to quickly look up insight and answers to specific behavioral questions that continue to pop up with our 2 and 3 year-old daughters. Since the chapter format is organized by months of age instead of topics, we sometimes become frustrated searching for the guidance we need at the moment scattered under different months of age. Additionally, when we do find the information, we often want more depth and more tips to try for each misbehavior. However, we do realize that no one book can have it all-even one with over 900 pages! Recently, my wife found a very helpful pocket-guide in her OB's waiting room, called appropriately- THE POCKET PARENT. It is filled with hundreds of sensible quick-read bulleted suggestions to many of the behavior concerns that we have with our children. "The Pocket Parent" is published by the same publisher (Workman) and is exclusively written for parents of 2's, 3's, 4's, and 5's. The many topics are in an A-Z format, sprinkled with a good dose of compassion and humor that we find helpful and comforting. This totally up-beat book does not preach (no should's or dont's) and is a great little companion for the more encyclopedic "What to Expect Toddlers". "The Pocket Parent" recognizes that the parents are the real experts with their children. The authors suggest that each parent filter the advice through their own personalities and parenting styles and select those strategies that seem to be a good fit for their family. It addresses such common concerns as Bad Words, Bedtime, Biting, Fears at night, Gimmes, Lying, Morning "Crazies", Separation Anxiety, Sibling Rivalry, Tantrums, and Whining . I found myself chuckling as a read some of the brief anecdotes (many specifically about dads) that I coincidently just encountered with my own kids. Both of these reference guides continue to ease our anxieties and frustrations while building the confidence necessary to make good choices as parents. We highly recommend both of these books for your home library to refer to again and again especially when you're in need of some sensible information or just a caring verbal hug that everything is going to be OK.

1-0 out of 5 stars bad advice on discipline, tantrums and behavior
This book does an ok job of covering the medical and developmental topics, but let's face it: most questions we all have about toddlers involve behavior! I followed their advice for 6 months, and in retrospect feel that they too frequently make parents feel that we risk harming our toddlers self esteem by setting firm boundaries. In general, I feel their philosophy is too wimpy. They even say that some kids are just unhappy/grumpy by nature and that you can't do anything about it. I strongly disagree, and after purchasing a few more parenting books, feel that my son is so much happier, communicates with me better, and I enjoy being a mother so much more! There are no right/wrong answers to parenting toddlers, but this book is way too wimpy and submissive when addressing very little people with big opinions. ... Read more


13. 1-2-3 Magic: Effective Discipline for Children 2-12
by Thomas W. Phelan Ph.D.
list price: $14.95
our price: $10.17
(price subject to change: see help)
Asin: 1889140163
Catlog: Book (2003-10)
Publisher: ParentMagic
Sales Rank: 874
Average Customer Review: 4.25 out of 5 stars
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Book Description

Addressing the task of disciplining children ages 2 through 12 without arguing, yelling, or spanking, this program offers easy-to-follow steps to immediately manage troublesome behavior with reason, patience, and compassion. Parents and teachers learn how to encourage and respect children's growing independence with 10 strategies for building self-esteem. Also discussed are the three most important qualities for parents or teachers to exhibit in order to foster competence in kids. Tips are included on how to prevent homework arguments, make mealtimes more enjoyable, conduct effective family meetings, and encourage children to start doing their household chores. This award-winning program discusses the importance of establishing and maintaining a home or classroom with fair and consistent discipline. This revised edition includes suggestions on how to avoid over-parenting, build children's social skills, and apply the program within mental health agencies and classrooms. ... Read more

Reviews (114)

5-0 out of 5 stars Works for ADHD
This book saved me alot of grief with my son who has ADHD. What's magic is twofold:
1. A parent is reinforced in his or her own rightful parental power to make decisions and to discipline their child. Learning that you don't have to argue with your child saves alot of unneccesary stress.
2. It's amazing how such a benign consequence to a child's behavior could be so powerful--the child being sent to their room (full of toys and books) for just 5 minutes. But the magic occurs because of the consistency--that is the key.

Strategies for start behaviors (things you want kids to do, like pick up their shoes), and stop behaviors (things you want kids to stop doing) are discussed, all based on the 1-2-3 go to your room. My son was a toughy--still is, but at 13, I'm going to read Phelan's adolescent book.

This methods in this book are kind to the child, and kind to the parent--stops the yelling, arguing, hitting. Some of the behavioral methods I tried before required lots of record keeping, charts, etc. (and didn't work nearly as quickly and well), and this is so exquisitely simple. I also recommend the tape, as it demonstrates some common househould scenarios.

5-0 out of 5 stars There Is No One Single Magic Trick For Effective
Tom Phelan has indeed written a sensible, easy to read, discipline book that clearly explains his 1-2-3
Magic theory designed for parents of tots-gradeschoolers. As a veteran preschool teacher, many of the parents of my own students over the years have found success with Phelan's techniques. However, some conscientious but frustrated moms and dads admitted to me that they found themselves between a rock and a hard place as they reached '2 and 3 quarters', '2 and 7 eighth's', etc ...unable to change the behavior of their sometimes annoying, disrespectful, uncooperative kids. Not to
worry...Although your career as a magician may fall short of your goal, you are not doomed to be labeled an ineffective disciplinarian. It has been my experience, both as a parent and teacher, that there is no one single discipline approach that works every time, for every kid in every family. Although I
totally respect 'the count' in this book, I strongly encourage parents to seek out an assortment of strategies that for whatever reason might be a better fit at a particular moment, in respect to age, personalities and parenting style. If you have young kids (2's, 3's 4's,and 5's) who are literally driving
you towards your wits' end with such things as their bad words, 'I hate you's', hitting, whining, parent deafness, tantrums, lying, 'gimmes', mealtime and bedtime refusals, I suggest checking out "The Pocket Parent", a quick read A-Z guide, loaded with hundreds of fast answers and tips to try. The bullets of information (called 'sanity savers') are written
exclusively for preschool behavior and are based on a solid philosophy that maintains a real sense of concern for the needs and feelings of both children and their parents. I highly recommend both books for a variety of workable discipline options that parents (and preschooler teachers) can choose from while trying to remain sane in the process!

5-0 out of 5 stars Happy Children Happy Parents
Dr. Thomas W. Phelan is an expert on child discipline and Attention Deficit Disorder. He is a registered Ph.D. clinical psychologist and is also the author of many helpful parenting books. In this amazing book, he presents three steps to change the negative behavior and reinforce positive behavior in the future. The Index provides you with a way to quickly find the most pertinent subject you are dealing with right now.

The Contents include:

Straight Thinking - A section about how to stop negative behavior and start good behavior. He also presents the two biggest discipline mistakes.

Controlling Obnoxious Behavior - What to do when negative behavior occurs in public. How to handle tantrums and pouting.

No Child Will Thank You - Deals with serious offenses and the six kinds of testing and manipulation.

Encouraging Good Behavior - 7 Start Behavior Tactics, Cleaning Rooms, Mealtimes, Homework, The Family Meeting.

Strengthening Your Relationship - Your Child's Self-Esteem, Overparenting, Affection and Praise, Active listening.

I was amused by the information on "parental temper tantrums." I've seen parents yell at their kids and seen children reel from the verbal abuse. Then I've seen parents lovingly talk to a child about their behavior. Guess which works? How would you want to be treated? If frustration has reached the level where parents are yelling and kids are crying their eyes out daily, something must not be working. This book provides excellent advice and a three-step solution to every problem. Phelan has an interesting take on spankings and he makes an excellent point or two on page 53. He suggests that parents avoid the Talk-Persuade-Argue-Yell-Hit routine.

There is a "how to use this book" section and there are times when psychological evaluation and counseling may be in order.

The 1-2-3 techniques to end arguing are just brilliant. Although, I've seen a parent count 1, 2, 3, and a child is just ignoring the routine. It seems there has to be a negative result that is consistently imposed, like a time out. Some children might enjoy a time out, so that is also a factor to consider. I loved spending time in my room. Hey, there were books there! I also remember sitting in the bathroom and screaming: "You will not spank me, I did nothing wrong." I was actually telling the truth and I remember all the times I was punished when I didn't do anything wrong but was accused by the actual perpetrator.

Parents have to be pretty aware of their children's character to sort out these types of problems. I grew up in the "you did something wrong, you get spanked" no other choices world. Often I would have liked to have been given a second chance or had a conversation about the event. I remember my absolute horror when a child was spanked in my presence when I was a child. I feel that spanking can be abuse when it is used incorrectly. Often it does seem to be a result of frustration and I do have to say that I've seen parents use different "calm" methods and they seem to have better results. And what is the whole "Here, hug me because I love you, no matter that I just spanked the heck out of you routine?" I was only happy my brother got spanked once. When he violently poked me with a large pin. LOL I haven't let him forget that I remember that.

So, what if?

Your child won't stay in the time-out room...
Your kids go nuts when you are on the phone...
A child wrecks the time-out room...
Your child doesn't want to apologize...

Ahh, and then onto the lovely topic of "sibling rivalry, tantrums and pouting." Then onto badgering, tempers and threats. What do you do if your child says they are running away from home? What if a child attacks a parent?

This book also gives parents information about Oppositional Defiance and Conduct Disorder. There is also a list of major, medium and minor consequences. Just because a child is on the phone after a time they shouldn't be doesn't mean you should ground them for a month. Maybe a fine or chores would work. The problem can then be solved in a day and the child can start to practice more positive behavior.

I think these techniques also work on adults when having an argument or when one person is being unreasonable. One of my friends just told me that you deserve what you put up with. So, I think that moving in a positive direction is always in order. There are ways to stand up for yourself without violence. This book teaches you all the techniques that have worked for parents and I can recommend this book to teachers, all parents, grandparents, babysitters and anyone who is looking after children or knows a child. So, this book is for everyone!

I'd almost go as far as to say this would make a wonderful baby shower gift!

~TheRebeccaReview.com

5-0 out of 5 stars It will seem like magic
Part of what makes Phelan's now very well known system work is that, whether one is cooking rice or disciplining children, it's essential to have a method, the simpler the better. All effective methods rely first and foremost on how they guide us away from reactive and emotionally-based behaviors and keep us on the proper path. Note well that Phelan's method requires the parent to understand that "Too Much Talking" and "Too Much Emotion" by the parent will lead to failure. Understanding why this is so is the key to understanding why Phelan's method is so effective.

Usually parents get caught in the trap of explaining or justifying their prerogative. This can be done once: clearly I am the adult, and not only is it my responsibility to guide your development, but, because I have been where you are and understand your situation--mainly frustration at not getting what you want--it is I, not you, who are in a position to make the right decisions. Period. Indeed, this doesn't even have to be said once. Children understand, with or without realizing it, that Mom and Dad know better than they do.

So any sort of "talk" is not only superfluous but may obscure what has happened, namely that the child has done something wrong and the parent wants it stopped. Furthermore, if you talk, the child talks and the lesson is diluted.

Even worse is for the parent to get emotional about disciplining the child. It's your job, do it and don't get worked up about it because discipline is just a technique in the larger socialization process. If you allow yourself to become emotional, you muddy up the waters and detract from the business at hand.

Phelan's 1-2-3 Magic technique works and is easy to learn and implement. If you are an ineffective disciplinarian, this book will literally change your life. My daughter and son-in-law use this method and I can tell you without it they would be foundering about, and their ability to guide my grandsons would be weakened. Never forget however that what children respond to is fairness, even-handedness, and the love that is implicit in a sincere desire to help them become fully realized human beings. Or, as Phelan succinctly puts it: "...children respond because they know Mom or Dad means business." (p. 50)

Just a quick word on this "meaning business." If you say "that's two and a half" and "that's two and three-quarters," you are NOT getting down to business. You are demonstrating that you aren't sure yourself that you are right while proving that you are unreliable. Phelan warns against this all too common parental trap.

Note too that there is no corporal punishment involved in Phelan's method. In today's world of the "professional parent" (as I like to dub my daughter and son-in-law) it is axiomatic that one does not hit or slap a child. But why? Of course violent behavior only begets violent behavior, but more than that, not hitting protects the parent from going too far. Hitting leads to more hitting. But if one never hits to begin with there is no danger of escalation. Only foolish and lazy parents hit their children. Phelan's method is an extension of this wise understanding.

The devil is in the details of parenting, you say? Yes, and in this very well written (the phrase "clear as a bell" definitely applies), you will get the details of how the method is applied in many situations and circumstances. Wondering how to put the child in "time out" at the supermarket? Phelan goes into that. What about the difference between "stop that!" and "do that"? It's one thing to get a child to stop doing something wrong. It's quite another to get the child to actually do something that needs to be done, like clean her room or do her homework. Phelan explains the difference between these two problems and how to deal with them.

Here's a another question: should the child have to apologize for what he did? Phelan warns that "many apologies are really exercises in hypocrisy." (p. 54) The child is forced to apologize for hitting his sister, but he really feels that the apology is just part of the punishment. She hit him first and she deserved it. The fine points of the murky psychology of retaliation must wait for the older child to emerge. Right now, you just stop the hitting, period.

Finally, what to do in public? Phelan devotes an entire chapter to that, and basically he says you have to bite the bullet and realize that the future character of your child is more important than any embarrassment you may experience from "counting" your child in public. Once you let the child know that being in public is no different than being at home, the child will behave. However if you let it be known that you are "vulnerable" when you're out in public, the child will immediately take advantage. Children love to test. They need to test. That's how they figure out their world.

Part of the reason this book is so polished and Phelan's methods so precise is that "over the many years of developing" his program parents have taught him how to handle tricky situations so that he now has it all covered. Also clear is Phelan's understanding of children and their needs, and the obvious affection he has for them. As he says (after you have initially explained that you are going to begin using the 1-2-3 counting method): "Expect the kids to sit there and look at you like you've just gone off your rocker." (p. 68)

Bottom line here is: if you are not aware of Phelan's very effective technique, do yourself and your children a favor and get this book.

5-0 out of 5 stars No more yelling!
This discipline method worked beautifully with my children. I also had my husband and babysitter read the book so we were consistent. My kids felt empowered beacuse they learned to control their behavior. I stopped yelling and bribing. I have sent this book to 4 or 5 families who were having discipline issues at home. ... Read more


14. The 36-Hour Day : A Family Guide to Caring for Persons With Alzheimer Disease, Related Dementing Illnesses, and Memory Loss in Later Life
by Nancy L. Mace, Peter V. Rabins
list price: $7.99
our price: $7.19
(price subject to change: see help)
Asin: 0446610410
Catlog: Book (2001-04-01)
Publisher: Warner Books
Sales Rank: 1740
Average Customer Review: 4.29 out of 5 stars
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Download Description

Updated with the newest information on Alzheimer's Disease and dementia, this bestselling book has remained the "bible" for families who are giving care toafflicted loved ones. ... Read more

Reviews (24)

5-0 out of 5 stars This book is for your Entire Family; it is a survival guide.
When our family first learned that our Mother had Alzheimer disease, we were devastated. After we all read "The 36-Hour Day", there was a great deal of relief. Although Alzhemier and other dementing illnesses can seem catastrophic, this book reads like a freindly family doctor givng you straight forward, no-nonsense advice. It covers all aspects of dealing with the family member, from explaining just what dementia is and how it can appear, to how you can deal with it appropriately without losing your patience or embarrasing your family member. Medical help, daily care, medical problems, behavior, mood, legal issues, common compassion and basic 'rules of thumb' are thoroughly covered. Several "examples" of previous family incidents are mentioned with thoughts on how to address each and every one. Great care has been crafted into this book and I highly recommend it. You will feel better, thus making the family member you are helping feel better.

5-0 out of 5 stars Provides direction and help for caretakers and loved ones
A truly remarkable book. It is well written, and very easy to read and follow, providing a background in this disease and what can/will happen to those afflicted. Providing extremely helpful insights and strategies for those of us who are caregivers, spouses, sons, daughters, and other family and friends. Personally, this book helped me to understand what was happening to my mother, helped me to be more understanding and less frustrated and annoyed with her. This book provides a great deal of insight and allows the reader to get a "feel" for the current situation and possible future situations. I have recommended this book to my personal physician to pass along to her other patients who may be in the same position as I am.

5-0 out of 5 stars The Answers I Have Been Searching For
It doesn't give medical advice, it doesn't give technical advice, although it provides resources for seeking such advice. What it does give are explanations and insights into the thinking of brain impaired persons, explanations for their behaviors, and advice on how to manage and cope with being their caregiver.

These are exactly the answers I have been searching for. So many of my father's actions, reactions and behaviors are profiled in this book, and it's becoming clear that his decline had started many years ago with smaller incidents that we as his family had dismissed. The path of progression can be tracked, and even predicted. It will be helpful to know what's coming next and be prepared. But most important to me is the understanding of why. Being able to understand the why of his behavior helps me a great deal in being able to let go of the anger and to cope better with the situation that has recently escalated to horrific.

In trying to manage the situation I have started taking anti-anxiety meds, as well as antidepressants and high blood pressure med. I have done all that I can to make changes within myself, yet things have gotten progressively worse. I am beginning to understand that these changes have been part of the problem in a sense in that I have become "unpredictable" to him in not reacting the way he expects me to.

3-0 out of 5 stars A Fairly Clinical Approach to Alzheimer's Caregiving
More than 3 million Americans are currently over 80 years old, and their numbers are expected to double by 2025. As the number of very old expands, the incidence of Alzheimer's disease and other forms of dementia will increase proportionately. Already at least 1 in 4 Americans cares for an elderly relative; in just a few years, a greater proportion will assume the mantle of caregiver to a dementia patient.

I do not find this thought comfortable, nor did I find The 36-Hour Day comfortable reading. As the caregiver of an elderly person with Alzheimer's, I found this volume helpful with specific problems that often accompany Alzheimer's disease but much in need of updating in other areas, such as caring for the caregiver. Going to a counselor or buying a new dress may have been reasonable options in 1999. For many caregivers in 2004, they are too expensive to be considered.

Recommended primarily as an overview of what to expect with specific dementia-related problems.

5-0 out of 5 stars Everything You Ever Wanted to Know About Caregiving
Highly recommended, an excellent resource, a must-have when beginning the caregiving journey with a loved one with dementia. This book has been out for many years, is updated often, and continues to be one of the very best. It was one of the books that helped me when I had to care for my parents, both with dementia, and inspired me to write my own book, Elder Rage. ... Read more


15. Raising Your Spirited Child: A Guide for Parents Whose Child Is More Intense, Sensitive, Perceptive, Persistent, Energetic
by Mary Sheedy Kurcinka
list price: $13.00
our price: $9.75
(price subject to change: see help)
Asin: 0060923288
Catlog: Book (1992-09-01)
Publisher: Perennial
Sales Rank: 1504
Average Customer Review: 4.65 out of 5 stars
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Amazon.com

Recently, temperament traits have come to the forefront of child development theory. In Raising Your Spirited Child, Mary Sheedy Kurcinka's first contribution is to redefine the "difficult child" as the "spirited" child, a child that is, as she says, MORE. Many people are leery about books that are too quick to "type" kids, but Kurcinka, a parent of a spirited child herself and a parent educator for 20 years, doesn't fall into that trap. Instead, she provides tools to understanding your own temperament as well as your child's. When you understand your temperamental matches--and your mismatches--you can better understand, work, live, socialize, and enjoy spirit in your child. By reframing challenging temperamental qualities in a positive way, and by giving readers specific tools to work with these qualities, Kurcinka has provided a book that will help all parents, especially the parents of spirited children, understand and better parent their children. ... Read more

Reviews (95)

2-0 out of 5 stars Needs more common sense
I liked the positivity of this book. I think all children should be viewed as special and cherished for their individuality. In this way, the book is great. However, it is poor advice to tell parents who are at their wits end with their child to accept the behaviour and everyone else needs to adapt and accept the behaviour rather than modify the child's behaviour. Spirited children are more difficult to parent as all of us with these little ones know. However, Ms. Sheedy is advising to give up and let the child rule the home. This may be okay if it were only the parent's lives who were being affected. The rest of the world is not going to be as compassionate and understanding toward the child as parents are. It is more appropriate to talk about patience, love and consistency when disciplining. While it's true that these children are not displaying outrageous behaviour intentionally, it is unacceptable behaviour nonetheless. When spirited children enter the school system, their classmates and teachers are not going to read this book. They will simply not accept the child with the negative behaviour and the child will suffer as a result. It is our jobs as parents to alter the behaviour, since we can not alter the world for our children.

5-0 out of 5 stars this "owner's manual" rewired my neural net
I wish Mary Sheedy Kurcinka's _Raising Your Spirited Child_ had been around when I was growing up. In just 300 pages, this "owner's manual" for dealing with intense, sensitive children completely rewired my neural net.

A parent comes to most books expecting to learn how to influence and control their child - their health, their relationships, their behavior. Kurcinka turns this formula on its ear: instead of "how-to", the parent gets "how-they" and "who-are" and "what-if?". In place of generalizations about children's motivations, Kurcinka presents a glittering array of nuanced traits which converge like colored lights to form the white light of an individual character.

The book is filled with the unexpected: the words of other parents driving this highway, a wide-ranging sampling of current theories of child development culled for relevance to the spirited child, parables, poetry, and most of all - humor. She doesn't claim to have all the answers and suggests that you as a parent forgive yourself for not having them either.

This book was published the year my "spirited child" was born. I wish I'd gotten a copy on its publication date; instead, I endured two-and-a-half years of frustration and guilt. I'm lucky. It wasn't even written when my mother had her "spirited" child, me

5-0 out of 5 stars The best child care book I've read
I'm the mother of 3 girls, and this is the most useful book I've read. While some reviewers take issue with the methods Kurcinka advocates in dealing with the spirited child, I found it incredibly valuable just for the better attitude it gave me towards my daughter. Just to realize she wasn't the only child who threw fits about her socks was so helpful! I went from honestly not being able to enjoy much time with my daughter because of the constant screaming and drama, to being able to respond in a constructive way and eliminate many of the battles before they began. It got me looking at my daughter's behavior in a different, more positive way, and realizing that the point of being a parent isn't just to get your child to obey you, but to know how to avoid the conflict in the first place when you can!

5-0 out of 5 stars Absolutely the best
The is hands-down the best book on raising your spirited child.

1-0 out of 5 stars Should be how to raise a wimpy pacifist and avoid meat
Well I got to thirds of the way through it and had to through it across the room. The author is one of these feminist that only uses the famine pronoun. For me it makes for an awkward read and tells me that the intended audience is exclusively female.

I love the examples that author makes with such surprise that she actually learned something about dealing with their child from her husband. How could a man know anything about raising a child..

Finally, the total PC BS teaching that children should NEVER hit each other.. that it is just a half step away from nuclear war.. Should be called "How to raise a wimpy pacifist and avoid meat"..

FLING.. ... Read more


16. Clark Smart Parents, Clark Smart Kids : Teaching Kids of Every Age the Value of Money
by Mark Meltzer, Clark Howard
list price: $14.95
our price: $10.17
(price subject to change: see help)
Asin: 0786887796
Catlog: Book (2005-05-11)
Publisher: Hyperion
Sales Rank: 3510
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Book Description

Winning financial wisdom aimed at teaching kids real-world money skills.

From the bestselling author of Get Clark Smart comes this valuable new resource enabling parents to pass "Clark Smart" skills for saving and spending wisely on to kids of every age.

Clark Howard -- bestselling author, money-saving expert, and host of the popular syndicated radio program The Clark Howard Show -- is back with more of his winning financial wisdom, this time aimed at helping parents teach kids real-world financial skills for today and every day. Parents of children of all ages -- from elementary school through high school, college, and beyond -- will benefit from Clark's sound, uncomplicated advice across a comprehensive range of topics. In Clark Smart Parents, Clark Smart Kids, he addresses everything from allowances -- when and how much to give -- to teaching teens about credit cards and navigating the purchase of a first car -- how to get it, pay for it, and insure it -- to saving for college, paying off loans, staying out of debt, and much more!

A hands-on workbook section that parents and kids can use together will help assess personal spending and saving styles as well as show ways to improve them. It's all here in this must-have resource for parents. ... Read more


17. Solve Your Child's Sleep Problems
by Richard Ferber
list price: $14.00
our price: $10.50
(price subject to change: see help)
Asin: 0671620991
Catlog: Book (1986-04-17)
Publisher: Fireside
Sales Rank: 1785
Average Customer Review: 3.97 out of 5 stars
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Amazon.com

When your child isn't sleeping, chances are that you aren't either.Solve Your Child's Sleep Problems--a tired parent's essential for morethan 10 years--offers valuable advice and concrete help when lullabies aren'tenough to lull your child into dreamland. Based on Ferber's research as thedirector of Boston's Center for Pediatric Sleep Disorders at Children'sHospital, the book is a practical, easy-to-understand guide to common sleepingproblems for children ages one to six. Detailed case histories on night waking,difficulty sleeping, and more serious disorders such as sleep apnea andsleepwalking help illustrate a wide variety of problems and their solutions. Newparents will benefit from Ferber's proactive advice on developing good sleepingpatterns and daily schedules to ensure that sleeping problems don't develop inthe first place. You'll also find a bibliography of children's books on bedtime,sleep, and dreaming, as well as a list of helpful organizations. Here's a bookthat is sure to put you and your whole family to sleep--in this case, that's agood thing. ... Read more

Reviews (229)

4-0 out of 5 stars It worked for us
My 7 month old daughter was waking up 2-3 times a night to be nursed back to sleep. A friend, who is a pediatric nurse with two toddlers, recommended the book and it made sense. We didn't even have to go through the "crying it out." Dr. Ferber does a great job explaning sleep associations, sleep cycles, and how to teach your child to fall asleep. There have been some bumps along the way, usually when she is sick. But she is a joy to be around--loving and wonderful. I don't see any harm. I strongly recommend, though, that Dr. Ferber's method be used on babies OLDER than six months. He states in the book that his methods are inappropriate for younger babies. Good luck and sweet dreams.

5-0 out of 5 stars Help your child get the sleep he needs
I was very skeptical about the Ferber method. I bought various books about sleep and I tried different techniques to get my baby to fall asleep without crying it out. He always had a tough time getting to sleep, except in the car. Night time was the worst, he would cry for an hour or so, no matter how much I tried to comfort him. He never fell asleep at the breast or with a bottle, even as a newborn, and so I spent months trying to figure out a way to help him drift to sleep easily.

I finally gave in and really gave the Ferber method my full commitment. My baby boy was about 6 months at the time and he did not fall asleep without any crying on the third night like I was hoping. However, the crying did decrease and we experimented with different bedtime routines, until we found the one that seemed to relax him the most. Every once in awhile he still cries a little before drifting off to dream land, but for you Mother's out there struggling with guilt that I know you have, your child will wake up a happier baby in the morning if he gets the sleep he needs. Your baby won't resent you and it is much better that you teach them how to fall asleep on their own then struggle with nap time and bed time every day. Take it from a Mom that resisted the Ferber method for months, it works and my son and I are both much happier and less stressed about sleep time. :)

5-0 out of 5 stars Don't know what I did without it!
When my son was an infant, he too would want to fall asleep with bottle. A friend lent me to this book and after a little hesitation, I tried. My husband was sure it wouldn't work. I was adamant I was at least going to try. Being a first time mom, I must say the first night wasn't easy (for the parents)but the next night was easier and within 3 nights my son was going to sleep easier and staying asleep all night! I have had to reapply the philosophies from time to time when my son had developed more bad habits or when you pamper him when he is sick and then wants it all the time. Now that my son is 3, he wants me to lay down with him, which originally I thought was cute but now has become quite cumbersome. I went out and bought the book and used it ONE night and my son went to sleep without me with very little trouble. Now I by this book for every new mom! I highly recommend it!

5-0 out of 5 stars LOVED this book - I'm SLEEPING and so is our baby.
I must say that I was very wary of this book. I was adamantly opposed to any methods that used CIO. After unsuccessfully exhausting all the non-CIO methods... I reluctantly picked up this book at the urging of our pediatrician. I was surprised and grateful and the plain language and TOTAL SENSE of this book. I felt great about the method "controlled crying" and our daughter was sleeping through the night in TWO DAYS! She was sleeping at a regular bedtime withing A WEEK!! She was taking regular naps within 2 WEEKS!! My husband and I couldn't believe it. We are happier and our daughter is happier. We can plan to do things better because we know when her naptime/bedtime is and can be sure when she is ready to play and be alert.
This book is short, to the point -- written expertly for that sleep-deprived, frazzled and concerned parent....AND covers the whole range of adolescent sleeping problems. If I could give this book a higher rating I would!

5-0 out of 5 stars First understand your child's needs
The book should be read entirely to understand what is the child's sleep problem before you decide to implement a "crying to sleep" plan, which is not what the book suggests. The book itself is very well organized, and you can find the "categories" of sleep problems separated per chapters.

Here are two case studies on the implementation of the book. I admit that these are incredibly successful cases, but they are the ones that I lived.

Case 1:
I have a very sensitive daughter (19 months), who is VERY attached to her mommy. She was used to be rocked for 15 - 45 mins prior to be put in bed and slept from 7:30pm to 7:00 am. At 14 months, because of family health problems, we were staying a lot with family in other towns, or family members stayed at our home. Suddenly, she needed more time rocking her, and started to get up in the middle of the night. This got to a point where she only slept when she was with us in our bed. The family situation was over and she would still sleep with us. At night, she slept holding our arms and neck to make sure that we did not leave her alone or even moved her, but slept her naps without problems at her daycare.
A couple of months passed, and there was no sign of change in her sleep patterns. It was obvious to us that her sleep problems occurred because of the month we suffered a lot of emotional instability, but we did not know how to address the problem since she would literally grab on to us. We searched for information on sleep problems and a lot of people suggested this book. We thought that letting a child cry was definitively torture for her and us, but after reading the book we understood better the training technique and saw our child's problem photographed in the content.
At 18 months we started what we called "sleep training". Following the suggestions in the book, the first night passed just as the cases in the book. The total time from setting her to sound asleep was 35 mins and she woke up the next day refreshed and happy. The second night was terrible. She jumped from her crib, she defecated twice so we would change her, she kept trying to jump from the bed, she requested milk, juice, rice, cookies, water, ice and every other word she knew. All this time we would follow the suggestions of the book, entering the room at separated intervals but not picking her up, letting her know that we were there for her and making sure that she was safe but saying that it was time to sleep in her own bed. It was hard for her and us, the second night was what we called "bad crying", but the total time from setting her to sound asleep was 45 mins and she woke up the next day refreshed and happy. The third night we told her it was sleeping time and she complained for a minute and went to sleep. Since then she would not even complain when we told her it was time to sleep. She is still VERY attached to her mommy, and still loves to heaven her daddy.

Case 2:
After successfully implementing the sleep training, my sister tried to implement it. Her daughter was 13 months. She was used to sleep by being rocked with a milk bottle, and woke up every day at 4:00am to drink some more milk (not even an ounce). Because her parents had odd working hours, she was put to sleep at different times but mostly after 10:00pm and would wake up after 11:00am. She did not nap during the day. After reading the book, my sister understood that her daughters sleep problems were actually because she did not have a sleep schedule, and was relating "sucking" the bottle with sleeping. Following the suggestions on the book, a sleep time and a naptime were set. The next step was implementing the schedule. The first night the total time from setting her to sound asleep was 35 mins and she woke up the next day refreshed and happy (did not request bottle at night). In the first nap she complained for 5 minutes, but she slept 2hrs during the day. The second night the total time from setting her to sound asleep was 5 mins and she woke up the next day refreshed and happy (did not request bottle at night). The second day she was put to nap, but she did not sleep (she stayed in her crib). The third day and since she has slept and napped without problems. My sister thanks me every day for suggesting her reading the book. ... Read more


18. Treat Your Own Back
by Robin A. McKenzie
list price: $10.00
our price: $10.00
(price subject to change: see help)
Asin: 0959774661
Catlog: Book (1993-04-01)
Publisher: Orthopedic Physical Therapy Product
Sales Rank: 2593
Average Customer Review: 4.45 out of 5 stars
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Book Description

Help yourself to a pain-free back. This easy-to-follow book presents over 80 pages of education and clinically-proven exercises. The simple and effective self-help exercises in Robin McKenzie's Treat Your Own Back have helped thousands worldwide find relief from common low back and neck pain. This book helps you understand the causes and treatments, along with a system of exercises that can help you relieve pain and prevent recurrence. ... Read more

Reviews (33)

5-0 out of 5 stars This book saved my back!
About six months ago I was doing quite a lot of weight lifting which was slowly weakening my back. Being on the high school track team I decided to try the running long jump for the first time. When I landed in the sand my lower back gave out and for the next six months I had a dull pain that would stay with me all day, everyday. Some Days my back felt better than others and sometimes it seemed that the only retreat I possibly had from the pain was bed rest. I spent an incredible waste of money on chiropractors that did absolutely nothing for the pain. I was beginning to become depressed because I couldn't do cross country in the fall, and going to work and school felt like going to hell and back everyday. I felt like I was too young to have back problems and I was seeking advice from everyone I could turn to. Then a student teacher of mine told me that a friend of his was using Robin McKenzie's book on how to treat your own back. It took about four or five weeks for the pain to go away, but if I hadn't discovered this book, I'm sure the pain would have lasted many more months, if not years. McKenzie's book tought me very effective techniques for treating my lower back pain and how to prevent it from reocurring. If you buy this book, it is important to be patient with the techniques described. When first starting out, there should be an initial increase in the amount of pain which I experienced. If this pain increase does not go back down to how it was after about a day or if the pain becomes worse, consult with a doctor or physical therapist immediately. This was a very helpful book and I recommend it to anyone with lower back pain. It wasn't untill my back was damaged that my whole life cam into perspective. Nobody should deserve to live with chronic back pain.

5-0 out of 5 stars Highly Recommended by Physical Therapist
I am a Physical Therapist who uses the McKenzie approach to low back and neck pain. I was introduced to the techniques during one of my clicical affiliations as a student. I can honestly say that there have been very few patients that I have treated that have not been able to find relief with this technique. "Treat Your Own Back" is a wonderful resource that I issue to the majority of my patients in conjunction with their treatment and home exercise program. The book includes a basic, but thorough review of spinal anatomy. Also has very easy to understand text accompanied by pictures explaining the text. I highly recommend this book; however, if one does not achieve relief with this technique, or if thier symptoms increase or travel to another area, it is crucial that they consult with their physician and/or physical therapist.

5-0 out of 5 stars Here's what I think...
Book discusses a very specific way of treating back pain. In short, you do these backward bending motions which is suppose to have an effect on the discs in your spine. In addition, you sit up straight and watch your posture. All in all, it didn't help me much, but I do know many people it has helped- so I say give it a try. Also liked "Treat Your Own Knees" if you have knee pain.

4-0 out of 5 stars What is this total quack stuff?
This was a great book from a patients perspective of the lower back mechanics in an acute pain phase. Despite the ? review above from one Brownyn Scot, who reviews the book with the header 'a total quack' I would have to remark that the uneducated, myself included, have too much free space on the Internet to say supposedly learned things of which they know not, except definately crock pots :) The book helped. Enough said.

1-0 out of 5 stars A total quack
I used Robin's technique to help my sciatica when I was in my 20s. Now, 20 years later, a physical therapist asks how I messed up my posture so badly. When she heard that I used Robin's techniques she said it was too bad. That Robin has messed up many people's backs. Now I have severe arthritis between my shoulder blades from having such horrible posture for the past 20 years. Save yourself and get a recommendation to a respected physical therapist instead. ... Read more


19. Confessions of a Slacker Mom
by Muffy Mead-Ferro
list price: $12.95
our price: $9.71
(price subject to change: see help)
Asin: 0738209945
Catlog: Book (2004-03-26)
Publisher: Da Capo Lifelong
Sales Rank: 5682
Average Customer Review: 3.97 out of 5 stars
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Book Description

Parents who are fed up with the pressure to turn their children into star athletes, concert violinists, and merit scholars-all at once!-finally have an alternative: the world of Slacker Moms, where kids learn to do things for themselves and parents can cut themselves some slack; where it's perfectly all right to do less, have less, and spend less.

Slacker moms say "No" to parenting philosophies that undermine parents'-and children's-ability to think for themselves. They say "Yes" to saving their money and time by opting out of the parenting competition. And they say "Hell, Yes!" to having a life of their own, knowing it makes them better parents.

In this witty and insightful book, author Muffy Mead-Ferro reflects on her experience of growing up on a ranch in Wyoming, where parenting-by necessity-was more hands-off, people "made do" with what they had, and common sense and generational wisdom prevailed. We should all take her sane lead! ... Read more

Reviews (30)

5-0 out of 5 stars FINALLY, SOMEONE DARES TO TELL IT LIKE IT SHOULD BE!
Finally I have read a "parenting" book that does not presume to tell us all exactly how to be parents, but rather tells us that we already know most of what we need to know to raise our children, if we are thinking human beings who love our kids. Every other generation -- we're talking thousands of them -- knew how to raise its children without all the parenting experts so can't we figure SOME things out for ourselves? If we do I firmly believe that growing up will be easier on our kids (it will be easier on we parents, too, as Mead-Ferro suggests, to the horror of some readers), and that when they ARE grown up they will be better off because they'll be self-sufficient! And isn't that they key to being a successful person? I would recommend this book to any mom or anybody who is planning to become a mom. It's short and sweet and that's what we busy moms need.

5-0 out of 5 stars Humorous, witty, and a refreshing look at parenting!
I thoroughly enjoyed this book! I found her annecdotes thorougly entertaining, and often laughed out loud.
It should be clearly understood that this is not a "how to" parenting book, and should never be mistaken for one. Instead, it is one woman's account of trying to navigate through the incredibly tricky maze of parenting. Fortunately for us, she she presents her take on the whole thing through a wonderful sense of humor. If you can't laugh at yourself as a parent, perhaps this isn't a book for you.
I congratulate Muffy Mead-Ferro's courage to question some of today's "modern wisdom" about raising children and instead, listen to her gut about what's right for her children. And I commend her ability to "confess" about it!
I agreed with her about some things in the book and disagreed about others, but that's what makes this book so fun to read. We all have our own styles of parenting and should trust our instincts enough to follow them. Although I consider myself a slightly more experienced mother (I have kids ranging in age from 15 to 4), I gleaned some wonderful nuggets of wisdom from her childhood days on a Wyoming Ranch. These were some of my favorite parts.
I have recommended this book to many friends, and have purchased it for several gifts. It's a great read for parents of all ages.

5-0 out of 5 stars Thank God for Slacker Moms.
Finally!!! I am given written permission to let my kids be kids and me be an imperfect Mom and human being. I am the mother of two boys, three and six, and frankly watching them make their own mistakes, and letting them see me make mine, is what I think makes our family special. I live in a place where kids have day planners and birthday parties are budget breakers.
Confessions of a Slacker Mom is not the typical parenting book. It is a refreshing insight into the thoughts and concerns of a mom just like me, who realizes money and "stuff" can't fix every problem or guarantee your success as a parent.
My favorite memory of the book is "if your kid doesn't have stitches by the age of seven, you are over protective".
If you think you can bail your kids out of every problem and prevent every scratch and scrape (why would you want to?) then this book is not for you.

4-0 out of 5 stars Pretty funny even if you don't agree with everything
It's an easy, quick read, although we advertising writer types always did have a knack for concise thoughts (i.e., "where's the beef?") Personally, I'm a stay at home mom, and my worst day home with my son is better than any day back at the office working for somebody else. So yeah, I was a little disappointed with Chapter 8 and the whole justification for letting strangers raise my kid. (Sorry, they can go to preschool when they're three, that's not so long to be out of the rat race.) But her observations are funny and it's true that our society does overindulge, advertisers are a parent's worst enemy and the experts don't have all the answers. And some mommies do get a little Stepford-ish...oh admit it, you do. (I've never scrapbooked either, I thought it was a noun.) The book made me realize how uptight I am so much of the time, so I might loosen up just a touch... except during PMS, then all bets are off!

5-0 out of 5 stars It's only funny if you have a sense of humor about parenting
Parenting has got to be the ultimate sacred cow, so I applaud Muffy Mead-Ferro for her willingness to poke fun at the extremes we parents sometimes go to, her ability to laugh at herself, and her belief in her kids, and all kids, to figure at least some things out for themselves -- even if that means a "lesser" role for the parents.

I think the title "Slacker Mom" however is totally tongue-in-cheek because it actually takes more effort for a parent who loves their kids to back off than to smother.

It is odd that some reviewers found it disingenuous for Mead-Ferro to caution parents about the effectiveness of marketing, since she has had a career in marketing. I felt just the opposite, that she is someone who knows what she's talking about because she's been there. She knows what lengths advertisers will go to and this is the reason she suggests that we parents should take their messages about all the stuff we're supposed to buy for our kids with a grain of salt.

Of course there is a contingent who will never think that it's okay for a mom to have a job or a career -- a situation which will almost always necessitate some type of child care arrangement. But in our day and age that is not only unrealistic but a disservice to women, and one reason this book is a welcome relief is that it reminds us working moms that we don't need to feel guilty about it -- it's absolutely possible to be a great parent (and a great example) to your kids, even though you have a career.

The ideas of this book are important ones, although they are presented in a humorous (and often self-deprecating) way. I hope they catch on. ... Read more


20. Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway
by SUSAN JEFFERS
list price: $14.00
our price: $10.50
(price subject to change: see help)
Asin: 0449902927
Catlog: Book (1988-04-12)
Publisher: Ballantine Books
Sales Rank: 2607
Average Customer Review: 4.69 out of 5 stars
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Book Description

Dynamic and inspirational, FEEL THE FEAR AND DO IT ANYWAY is filled with concrete techniques to turn passivity into asssertiveness. Dr. Susan Jeffers, teaches you how to stop negative thinking patterns and reeducate your mind to think more positively. You will learn: the vital 10-Step Positive Thinking Process; how to risk a little every day; how to turn every decision into a "No-Lose" situation, and much more.
... Read more

Reviews (55)

5-0 out of 5 stars Write Down Your Fears!
Most books offer advice about how to overcome the fears that prevent people from living their true life path. Susan Jeffers goes one step beyond -- she acknowledges the difficulty of overcoming fears then goes on to provides solid advice and tips on how to excel IN SPITE of fear. Fret no more, buy this book and fearlessly pursue your goals.

I enjoyed this book so much I included it in the suggested reading list of my own book titled, Rat Race Relaxer: Your Potential & The Maze of Life by JoAnna Carey.

5-0 out of 5 stars An amazing book which brims with confidence
I came across this book by chance, whilst rummaging through several self-help books in the Local Library. Dr.Susan Jeffers is truly an amazing author. Her book inspires me and I read and re-read selected portions everyday. In fact, I carry this book in my bag and treasure every page of the volume. A truly marvellous book. I just wish I had come across this wonderful book earlier in my life.

5-0 out of 5 stars Faced My Fear
I was fired from my job, which was my greatest fear. A friend told me about Feel the Fear, it has really helped me deal with my thoughts about what to do with my life after being fired. Another book that helped me is Rat Race Relaxer: Your Potential & The Maze of Life by JoAnna Carey.

2-0 out of 5 stars Not a must have book...
It seems too strange to see those raving possitive reviews,

After reading over 100 self help books and 3 books related to overcomming fear. I think this book is very simple and does not really have anything powerful insights.

For example if you want to do some affirmations everyday or hype yourself up that you can "do it anyway"... than this book is for you.

I personally recomend the "sedona" book. it will set you free and let you deal with fear in a much more unique and effective way.

5-0 out of 5 stars Feel the Fear and Embrace Your Life. Excellent Book!
I bought this wonderful book many years ago, and have recommended it to countless people. Susan Jeffers does a truly remarkable job to help you recognize the doubts, insecurities, the "chatterbox" in your mind, and helps you to face your fears squarely so you CAN move beyond them.

Written with heartfelt and genuine compassion, this book is outstanding for anyone who feels fear in the constant change of life. Fear CAN be overcome. Jeffers provides wonderful exercises, analogies, and charts with great information such as: "Seven Ways to Reclaim Your Power" which are (quoted from the book) Avoid casting blame on an external force for your bad feelings about life... " Avoid blaming yourself for not being in control..." "Be aware of when you are playing the victim role..." "Familiarize yourself with your biggest enemy - your Chatterbox..." "Figure out payoffs that keep you stuck...(so you will be) able quickly to become 'unstuck'" "Determine what you want in life and act on it..."

Jeffers provides wonderful tools to help you have a balanced life, in all areas in the chapter: "How Whole is Your 'Whole Life'". Her "say Yes to Your Universe" topic is entirely helpful to keep you in the moment, where you are empowered to move forward with acceptance. You ARE in charge, no matter what circumstances are facing you, you do carry the ability to determine how you are going to respond to it, by either "playing the victim" or moving forward as you CHOOSE to.

I absolutely love the page in the back of the book "The Choice is Mine" where she gives great one line awareness of "When I am Tuned Into My Chatterbox" and "When I am Tuned into My Higher Self" (I'll just give you the first line) "I try to control" "I trust."

Susan Jeffers' work is authentic and invaluable. If you feel fear in your life, this book will help you move forward.

Highly recommended! Barbara Rose, author of, 'Individual Power' and 'If God Was Like Man' ... Read more


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