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    $39.96 $34.92 list($49.95)
    1. SIGN with your BABY Complete Learning
    $10.17 $6.95 list($14.95)
    2. Supernanny : How to Get the Best
    $10.36 $8.07 list($12.95)
    3. Boys Will Put You on a Pedestal
    $11.16 $8.46 list($15.95)
    4. What to Expect the First Year,
    $10.17 $9.05 list($14.95)
    5. Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child
    $13.57 $11.95 list($19.95)
    6. Baby Laughs : The Naked Truth
    $10.46 $8.25 list($13.95)
    7. How to Talk So Kids Will Listen
    $16.77 $12.25 list($23.95)
    8. Perfect Madness: Motherhood in
    $19.77 $13.87 list($29.95)
    9. Them : A Memoir of Parents
    $16.50 $14.85 list($25.00)
    10. Unconditional Parenting : Moving
    $11.86 $7.77 list($16.95)
    11. What to Expect the Toddler Years
    $16.47 $15.71 list($24.95)
    12. Because I Said So : 33 Mothers
    $16.06 $13.65 list($22.95)
    13. The Happiest Toddler on the Block
    $10.46 $6.95 list($13.95)
    14. Secrets of the Baby Whisperer:
    $9.71 $6.90 list($12.95)
    15. On Becoming Baby Wise: The Classic
    $12.21 $11.29 list($17.95)
    16. Baby Bargains: Secrets to Saving
    $17.16 $15.59 list($26.00)
    17. Ready or Not, Here Life Comes
    $10.17 $9.96 list($14.95)
    18. 1-2-3 Magic: Effective Discipline
    $9.75 $7.25 list($13.00)
    19. Raising Your Spirited Child: A
    $10.17 $8.45 list($14.95)
    20. Clark Smart Parents, Clark Smart

    1. SIGN with your BABY Complete Learning Kit: US DVD Version, Book, Training Video (DVD), Quick Reference Guide
    by Joseph Garcia
    list price: $49.95
    our price: $39.96
    (price subject to change: see help)
    Asin: 1932354018
    Catlog: Book (2004-07)
    Publisher: Northlight Communications
    Sales Rank: 8627
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    Book Description

    The Complete Learning Kit-US DVD Version - includes the SIGN with your BABY Book, Training Video (DVD), and Quick Reference Guide (total of 3 component products) bundled together in one box. ... Read more

    2. Supernanny : How to Get the Best from Your Children
    by Jo Frost
    list price: $14.95
    our price: $10.17
    (price subject to change: see help)
    Asin: 1401308104
    Catlog: Book (2005-01-12)
    Publisher: Hyperion
    Sales Rank: 208
    Average Customer Review: 4.5 out of 5 stars
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    For despairing moms and dads everywhere, "Supernanny" Jo Frost may as well be wearing a Wonder Woman costume. Her no-nonsense rules--not tips, not advice, but rules--for consistently managing one's offspring leave no room for arguments (or wrestling matches). From her arms-akimbo stance on the book's cover, it's clear she's in charge, and ready to instruct all wishy-washy (overworked American) parents how to lay down the law in their own home. She offers her "top ten rules" for setting boundaries, managing mealtimes, even surviving toilet training, and it's mostly rock-solid, and peppered liberally with British wit. (For parents who obsess over their toddler's every meal, she warns: "It doesn't take long for them to work out the obvious: you can't make them eat.") Frost may not have a degree in child development, but she was raised in a stable, doting family, and has 15 years' experience taking care of tots, a combination which puts her way ahead of most parents. She may be firm, but by setting definite boundaries, she sets the stage for parenting to be more of a "joy" and much less of a "slog." You can raise your sippy cups to that. --Erica Jorgensen ... Read more

    Reviews (49)

    2-0 out of 5 stars Probably not the best parenting resource out there
    I was given Supernanny as a gift from my brother.I'm still wondering why he chose this particular resource.I found it over simplistic and very limited.I think the author presents a few good ideas, but it does not seem to address the big picture of parenting.I felt as if Jo Frost's rules were simply not applicable to the parenting challenges we are facing.I'd like to think that there is more to parenting, more to family interactions, than the ideas advanced in this book.If Jo's suggestions do not work as suggested - and they do not seem to be - is the parent not applying the rule or combination of rules hard enough?This book seems to set parents up for failure - it gives some suggestions but does not back them up or explore them in any detail whatsoever (leaving the parent vulnerable and exposed when things do not go as planned).I feel as if Supernanny is very, very narrow in its scope and depth.I will be returning it to my brother and looking elsewhere for a more complete parenting resource.

    3-0 out of 5 stars Great concepts, but nothing original from show
    I love the Supernanny techniques, and they work great...but this book offers no more solutions than the show.So, if you've seen at least 3 episodes of Supernanny, you've pretty much seen it all.

    3-0 out of 5 stars Book vs. Show
    I was somewhat disappointed in this book.I felt that after watching the tv show I already knew the stuff that was in the book.I was looking for more.If you watch Supernanny's show the book is pretty much a waste of money unless you need it constantly at hand.

    5-0 out of 5 stars The best parenting book I've read
    We read and tried, Happiest Toddler on the Block (OK), Strong-Willed Child (horrible), Magic 1-2-3 (OK), and two Rosemond books(both mediocre.) This is the BEST and easiest to implement. We have a strong-willed 2.5 yr.old and have been at our wits end trying to control her behavior while still building her self-esteem and self-confidence. This book has totally improved all our lifes. It really works!Everything in this book has worked.In just one week we have seen the benefits.A better behaved, loving child and quality time for my husband and I. Just last week we had an appointment with a child Psychologist to help us with our daughter. We recommended he read this book. Thank God for Jo Frost. The TV show is an added benefit - free video demonstrating the techniques!

    5-0 out of 5 stars A must for anyone who deals with children
    I fell into a job where I work with kids. This book has an extreme help in teaching me to deal with the children. The "three strikes you're out" method works really well. It also teaches you what you can expect from the different ages. I have found this book to be an invaluable tool. ... Read more

    3. Boys Will Put You on a Pedestal (So They Can Look Up Your Skirt) : A Dad's Advice for Daughters
    by Philip Van Munching
    list price: $12.95
    our price: $10.36
    (price subject to change: see help)
    Asin: 0743267788
    Catlog: Book (2005-05-03)
    Publisher: Simon & Schuster
    Sales Rank: 596
    Average Customer Review: 5.0 out of 5 stars
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    Book Description

    Life can be pretty tricky when you're a teenage girl.

    New things matter: Clothes. Parties. Boys. Suddenly being liked and being popular don't mean the same thing. Your parents get completely bizarre when the subject of dating comes up. A friend you've had forever stabs you in the back for no good reason. Everybody you know seems to feel free to comment on your constantly changing body. Drugs and alcohol go from being what you see "bad" kids doing on television shows to what you see your friends doing when no adults are around. How are you supposed to deal?

    Since life doesn't come with a set of instructions, it helps to turn to people who have been through the stuff that you're facing. Even parents can help. (Really!) In Boys Will Put You on a Pedestal (so they can look up your skirt), former teenage boy -- and current dad of two daughters -- Philip Van Munching helps guide you through some of life's most confusing topics. From Beauty to Grief, from Sex to Fate, Van Munching covers the things you most want to know about and, in his wise, warm, and funny way, offers advice on how you can become the young woman you most want to be.

    ... Read more

    Reviews (4)

    5-0 out of 5 stars A Dream of a Book
    I'm a new dad of a baby girl, so even though it'll be years before my daughter's ready for it, this book caught my eye.I'm glad it did.Van Munching has written a wise, funny, eminently readable and engaging tribute to his daughters, to parenting, to the minefields of adolescence.Here's a favorite bit that seems to define the spirit of this generous book:"I've learned a little something about mistakes: they are the true measure of you....they are what define and teach you....and are maybe the only things in your life that are truly your own.Everyone will jump in to grab a little glory when you do something right; mistakes are yours and yours alone.The trick is how you make use of them."What an important, right-on observation,and how I wish I'd had someone tell ME that when I was an awkward 15 year old boy. Though "Boys will Put you on a Pedestal" is specifically written for teenage girls, its applications transcend gender. A great book.

    5-0 out of 5 stars No-nonsense advice can be fun....
    While this book is intended to provide teens and pre-teens with fatherly advice, it is especially useful for parents.Van Munching weaves life lessons with self-deprecation and wit into a terrific guide that encourages girls to think for themselves.I especially like the themes of integrity, accountability, empowerment and love that run through the book.It's unfair to provide kids with these gems, when it takes the rest of us 30 or more years to learn them!

    5-0 out of 5 stars I Laughed, I Cried...(really!)
    It has been a long time since a book has made me laugh out loud, but never has a book brought me to tears.I felt like I was taken on an incredible journey with the author, hearing about his life experiences and lessons learned -and remembering my own and how they have affected my life.It is a book that everyone can relate to, regardless of where they grew up, how they were raised, or where their interests lie.Certain experiences, such asbeing taunted, going to high school parties and peer pressure, losing a loved one, your first "love", etc., ring true for all of us. Although I am neither a teenage girl or a parent yet, I feel as if it spoke to the fifteen-year old that was me as well as the future parent that I hope to someday be.I just wish that my parents, who always have been wonderful, loving and supportive, had been able to communicate that way with me when I was growing up...because I really needed it at the time!

    5-0 out of 5 stars Where oh where was this book when I was 14?!!
    This is the sweet, inspiring, moving, funny book I wish I could have read when I was a young teenage girl.Van Munching writes with warmth and sensitivity about all the Big subjects -- sex, popularity, grief, self-control, faith -- without preaching or talking down, and with a winsome, unaffected style that is beyond refreshing.Weaving stories from his own growing-up with commonsense, grounded advice, he takes the reader on a wonderful journey all the way to the last chapter, called "How to be Happy" -- which, by the way, I was when I finished this superb book.My daughter is barely five, but this book will be waiting for her when she's ready."Boys will Put You onPedestal" is for daughters, for their parents, and for anyone who cares about the emotional, physical, and psychological well-being of young girls. Run and buy it. ... Read more

    4. What to Expect the First Year, Second Edition
    by Heidi Murkoff, Sandee Hathaway, Arlene Eisnberg
    list price: $15.95
    our price: $11.16
    (price subject to change: see help)
    Asin: 0761129588
    Catlog: Book (2003-10-16)
    Publisher: Workman Publishing Company
    Sales Rank: 274
    Average Customer Review: 3.1 out of 5 stars
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    Book Description

    America's bestselling guide to caring for a baby is now better than ever: announcing a two-years-in-the-making, cover-to-cover, line-by-line revision and update of the 6.9-million-copy What to Expect the First Year, the bible for taking care of a newborn through the milestone of his or her first birthday.

    The Second Edition incorporates the most recent developments in pediatric medicine. Every question and answer have been revisited, and in response to letters from readers, dozens of new Q&As have been added. The book is more reader-friendly than ever, with updated cultural references, and the new material brings more in-depth coverage to issues such as newborn screening, home births and the resulting at-home newborn care, vitamins and vaccines, milk allergies, causes of colic, sleep problems, SIDS, returning to work, dealing with siblings, weaning, sippy cups, the expanded role of the father, and much more. An updated cover and all-new black-and-white line illustrations complement the fresher book with a fresher look.
    ... Read more

    Reviews (231)

    2-0 out of 5 stars disappointing and sloppy
    I bought What to Expect When You're Expecting and loved it, so I got this book when my daughter was born, but it has not lived up to its predecessor. I find things are not consistent throughout the book -- what on one page they say the kid will be doing at 7 months, later they say they will be doing it at 8 months. This happens often, more so toward the latter half of the first year. They seem to change the ages halfway through -- in the beginning, "the first month" means from birth up to one month; later "the seventh month" seems to mean from the seventh up to the eighth month. They also use the ability to pay attention to or pick up a raisin as a benchmark of your child's development, but later the book explicitly advises against feeding your infant raisins (choking hazard)! The book is almost militant about diet -- whole grains only, absolutely no salt or sugar (this would rule out the number-one baby food, Cheerios!). Not practical for the real mother. However I was most upset by their treatment of homosexuality (in a footnote): "Boys who display feminine traits early in childhood, like to play with dolls, and avoid rough sports are more likely to become homosexual ... These boys become estranged from their fathers, and, it is speculated, may ever hunger for male love ... professional consultation may be a good idea." I was flipping to the copyright page after this, expecting to see a date from the 1950s, but this book was copyrighted most recently in 1996. Bottom line: While some of the information here is useful, you can get it elsewhere. Pick another book.

    2-0 out of 5 stars good reference but major flaws
    This is a good parenting book to have in your library but it should definitely not be the only one. All parenting books have their own bias about co-sleeping and breastfeeding and this one was definitely biased against co-sleeping at all and breastfeeding after the 9th month or so. When I first brought my baby home from the hospital, the only way she would get a decent night's sleep is to sleep with us. Otherwise she cried and fussed the entire night. After two months she was ready to sleep in a cradle but initially we had to adjust our parenting style to include co-sleeping because it was the only thing that would comfort our daughter. If this was the only parenting book I owned I probably would've felt incredibly guilty about having done this--the section of this book that addresses co-sleeping has nothing but negative things to say about it. I found "Good Nights" and "Gentle Baby Care" (perhaps because they were written by attachment parenting advocates) to be very thorough about the topic, with plenty of practical advice.

    As noted by other reviewers the book also contains some misleading information about breastfeeding and seems to assume that you'll begin weaning sooner than currently recommended by the govt.

    I also found this book to be very poorly organized. Because all babies develop according to their own schedule, it doesn't really make sense to have much of the information organized chronologically. I read "What to Expect When You're Expecting" when I was pregnant and they advised you in the beginning not to "read ahead" so I was doing the same with this book until I realized that it wasn't answering most of my questions! I needed a babysitter when my daughter was two months but for some reason that section was stashed in the third month section! Why? So now I have read into the 10-month section even though my daughter is only 3.5 months because I'm wondering if there are other tidbits of information hidden away in there. And I expect I'll have to reread it all again when she's actually 10 months.

    Finally, there was some conflicting information. I'm thinking of the alcohol and breastfeeding references in particular. At various points in the book it says to (a) have a single drink rarely if at all and then to wait two hours before nursing if you do have a drink, (b) have a drink just before nursing to "relax", (c) consult a doctor if you find yourself unable to stop at two drinks a day (what happened to the "rare" drink?!). And finally, it referenced no actual studies about the effects of alcohol on a nursing baby. For such a serious topic, it seemed amazing to me that they could have included so much conflicting information and no scientific backup.

    And finally, as someone who is using cloth diapers, I was put off by the offhand remark that (to paraphrase) "in your mother's day, diapers were cleaned and boiled and reused and now people simply throw their diapers away." There is a significant percentage of people who actually use cloth diapers but to read this section you would never know it! This was just one of many cases of the authors assuming that everyone does or should do things their way.

    All that said, the book did include good information about safety issues and child development and for these reasons I'm glad to have it on hand. The authors must seriously revise this book, however, for future editions.

    4-0 out of 5 stars you get what you expect!
    This is THE book you want to read if you're a first time parent and don't have much experience with babies. You're given very practical explanations on how to deal with your newborn and it helps to solve all the simple troubles you go through everyday, from treating fever and skin rashes to deciding which toy to buy.
    It is very helpful up to 7/8 months of age of your child, then it becomes less accurate.

    2-0 out of 5 stars There are much better books out there!
    I bought this book as a resource for my first child. Although it has some useful information, it is very "middle of the road" and I felt it didn't go in depth enough with research and information I felt to be important. One *huge* area that is lacking is the breastfeeding information. They do not adequately explain the differences between breastfeeding and formula, and recommend weaning a child at 9mo. The AAP recomments nursing for *at least* a year, and the WHO (World Health Organization) recommends at least 2 years. In WTE, the authors indicate that if you don't wean by 9mo, a child will almost assuredly not wean at all or until much much later. This simply is inaccurate at best. Throughtout the book, the book is obviously biased towards a "doctor knows all" point of view. I suppose it's a good book for anyone who would like to know what the average doctor would tell her to do, but it's not a good book for anyone who likes to have a little more information and make her OWN informed choices. No one is perfect, and doctors certainly don't have *all* the information that makes them experts on childrearing in general. This book to me seemed like doctor propaganda.

    Although there is definitely some good info in there, I feel that the biases (especially with regard to nursing) outweight the good that is in this book. I'd save your money on this one and look into other books for specific areas you are interested-- a nursing book for nursing, a child development book for child development, a medical guide for medical issues.

    3-0 out of 5 stars Too much reading for new mom
    I prefer the week by week book instead of the q and a format of this book. I find myself using it as a reference tool sometimes, but have barely used it! The week by week book Dr. Curtis was much more informational. See rating on that book. ... Read more

    5. Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child
    by Marc Weissbluth
    list price: $14.95
    our price: $10.17
    (price subject to change: see help)
    Asin: 0449004023
    Catlog: Book (1999-04-12)
    Publisher: Ballantine Books
    Sales Rank: 330
    Average Customer Review: 4.26 out of 5 stars
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    Book Description

    One of the country's leading researchers updates his revolutionary approach to solving--and preventing--your children's sleep problems

    Here Dr. Marc Weissbluth, a distinguished pediatrician and father of four, offers his groundbreaking program to ensure the best sleep for your child. In Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child, he explains with authority and reassurance his step-by-step regime for instituting beneficial habits within the framework of your child's natural sleep cycles. This valuable sourcebook contains brand new research that

    - Pinpoints the way daytime sleep differs from night sleep and why both are important to your child
    - Helps you cope with and stop the crybaby syndrome, nightmares, bedwetting, and more
    - Analyzes ways to get your baby to fall asleep according to his internal clock--naturally
    - Reveals the common mistakes parents make to get their children to sleep--including the inclination to rock and feed
    - Explores the different sleep cycle needs for different temperaments--from quiet babies to hyperactive toddlers
    - Emphasizes the significance of a nap schedule

    Rest is vital to your child's health growth and development. Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child outlines proven strategies that ensure good, healthy sleep for every age. Advises parents dealing with teenagers and their unique sleep problems ... Read more

    Reviews (519)

    5-0 out of 5 stars Works with twins too
    My 15-month-old twins still weren't sleeping through the night, wouldn't go back to sleep unless in my arms, and were cranky all the time. I was desperate for rest and a full night in my own bed when a friend bought me this book. Imagine my surprise to discover it was written by their new pediatrician. I found the quick-read Action Plans helpful to start with in my sleep-deprived state and made immediate changes from the tips there. Once I read a few chapters, I found out I was doing everything wrong, from keeping them up until they passed out from exhaustion every night, to letting them fall asleep in my arms for every nap. All the statistics and data Dr. Weissbluth included from his research helped me realize how sleep-deprived my poor boys were. Plus the bold, boxed-in Practical Points, hints and warnings were great for quick reference later. I thought the book was a terrific teacher and learned more than just techniques. It educated me about the whole process of sleep, the different types of sleep, and problems surrounding them. Dr. Weissbluth kindly gives options for parents of problem babies who can't tolerate the seeming "cruelty" of his extinction method - but we tried it and I fully recommend it. After three horrible nights of crying (but no less actual sleep for me than usual), the boys settled into their new routine and one month later are sleeping together 10-11 hours through the night 90% of the time and napping together 2-3 hours every day. I've never had so much free time on my hands. They are put in their cribs awake 3 hours earlier every evening now that I've read this book and go to sleep with NO CRYING - I swear. They start the day at the same time as they always did, but now I wake to hear them giggling in the morning instead of crying. And as a bonus, the son I had labeled as colicky, difficult, and fussy is now suddenly eating better, is much less whinny and crabby, and is finally starting to try new things like walking now that he is getting the rest he needs. Thank you Dr. Weissbluth for giving me back my evenings with my husband, and helping me enjoy my wonderful boys during their waking hours. This book is a must have for every parent and I will give it as a baby shower gift from now on.

    5-0 out of 5 stars Try it and see how your child responds!
    When my first child was 5.5 months, I happened upon this book. It is about learning to be an observant parent who understands your child's sleep clues. Yes, every child is different, but we are all human and this book focuses on the very natural human need for sleep and explains natural human sleep cycles (by age group) so it's easier to understand WHEN your child probably will want/need to nap or go down for the night

    This book explains and teaches in a non-dogmatic manner. It suggests questions to ask yourself that are insightful and thought-provoking. It stresses helping your children learn the skill of falling asleep by themselves, which is sometimes tough, but just as important as teaching them to eat by themselves. I learned that sleep is more biological than logical and that some sleep is more restful and restorative than other sleep.

    The two most important lessons I learned: 1) the earlier a child goes to bed at night, the longer she sleeps through the night, and 2) it is possible to put a child down awake and have her not cry before falling asleep on her own. I didn't believe any of this until I tried it! This book helped me understand that by the time my daughter "seemed tired", I had missed her cues, she was overtired, and overtired children have trouble getting to sleep.

    I am not a fan of "cry it out" but I did learn (and could hear) that there's a difference btw "I'm in pain/hurting" crying and "I'm tired" crying. Just as you wouldn't mind if your child cried because you wouldn't let him stick his finger in an electrical socket, I didn't mind when my tired child cried because she didn't want to sleep. A few minutes into her crying (and I mean less than 10 or 15 minutes) she fell fast asleep. Nowadays, she recognizes our "it's time to go to sleep routine" (bathing, reading, rocking) and generally cries less than 2 minutes, if at all.

    This book helped me remember that our kids will cry over many things in their lives . . . but if we parents are doing what's best for our child, some things are worth letting them cry over for a short period of time. Luckily, the crying ends within a day or two, because once you start to recognize the signals of "tired", you can beat the overtired state and put your child to sleep without any crying. It works!!!

    My daughter's personality blossomed when she got two consistent, restful, undisturbed naps a day and started sleeping 10 hours at night. She's happy, smiling and alert. That makes Mom and Dad happy too. There are wonderful lessons to be found in this book . . . happy reading (and sleeping)!!

    5-0 out of 5 stars A Must Read !!! Start with these strategies right away !!
    I bought this book when my little one was 4 months old. It saved her and us. I only wish I had read the book while I was pregnant. I have since given this book to 3 friends when they had newborns (including twins) and they all followed Dr. Weissbluth's advice and we all have the BEST sleepers. My firends were lucky though to have avoided all the heartache we had after only 4 months of bad habits.

    Dr. Weissbluth is very respectful of parents having different theories and approaches to parenting. He helps you implement healthy sleep habits for children of all ages no matter what your parenting style is.

    The anecdotes are helpful in making you realise you are not alone and these are not just theories someone made up in someone's office.

    We have even avoided common pitfalls when babies go through teething, vaccines, colds etc.

    The book is written in a respectful caring way. You can trust this Dr.'s experience.

    This book is relevant for all familes with babies you and old.

    2-0 out of 5 stars Not terribly useful
    I would have to agree with the reviewers who found this book largely baffling and filled with contradictory advice as well as all of the reviewers who noted how terribly written this book is. It does offer useful information on helping your child to nap but also offers contradictory advice in differing sections (sometimes it says checking on your child won't work, elsewhere it says that checking on your child can be fine) and buries key information in chapters that are not relevant (such as the tip that children under 4 months are getting enough sleep if left to their own devices and the even more key point that one should not try to let a 4 month old cry it out). It also repeats tedious, useless phrases far too frequently (it's not logical, but it is biological). I think this book is most useful if either your child already is an easy sleeper and so the suggestions are easy to implement, or if your child is older and its sleep is a disaster and you're desparate for help. Also, the book focuses far too much on disfunction and relies on far too many first person accounts that are not really relevant and are very repetitive.

    5-0 out of 5 stars This has helped my son (and us) so much!
    My son was born 3 weeks early, and also was extremely fussy/colicky. The first 3.5 months were very rough, as he had so much trouble getting to sleep and staying asleep (which I now know is part of the colic) and cried for hours every night (so did I!). My pediatrician recommended this book to me and said "this is THE book on a child's sleep - don't pay attention to anything else". Well, I read the first section all about healthy sleep, and then turned to the section that is age specific. He explains so much about healthy sleep, and explains some different ways to get them to sleep through the night, and nap well. Two weeks before I started back to work again (he was 4 mo.) I began Dr. Weissbluth's program to get him to sleep through the night. It was tough, because I chose the extinction method (which is allowing him to cry and not respond) so emotionally I had a hard time with that for the first week. After 2 weeks, he was sleeping through the night, with minimal crying when I put him down. What he explains is that we are allowing some crying for the greater good, which is that your child must learn to go to sleep & stay asleep on his own. The end goal is good sleep and rest for the child AND the rest of the family. This is just the first of MANY times that I did what I knew was best for him, even if he didn't like it! (My child still didn't nap well until 7 mo., but that's common too with babies who've been colicky). Now he's 7.5 months, and a HAPPY, affectionate, responsive, inquisitive little guy, and we are ALL much more rested. BUY THIS BOOK! I've given it as gifts to 3 people already and am buying more. ... Read more

    6. Baby Laughs : The Naked Truth About the First Year of Mommyhood
    by JennyMcCarthy
    list price: $19.95
    our price: $13.57
    (price subject to change: see help)
    Asin: 052594883X
    Catlog: Book (2005-04-21)
    Publisher: Dutton Adult
    Sales Rank: 134
    Average Customer Review: 3.5 out of 5 stars
    US | Canada | United Kingdom | Germany | France | Japan

    Book Description

    Congratulations, you're a new mommy!

    You've brought your brand-new bundle of joy home, and there's so much to look forward to: photos; baby's first word; clipping those oh-so-cute and very tiny fingernails; finding just the right stroller; sex again (gulp!); and, oh yes, losing the weight.

    The joys of being a new mommy or daddy are endless, but so are the worries and the advice. Jenny McCarthy, the New York Times bestselling author of Belly Laughs, told you the truth about pregnancy and childbirth. Now she's telling the truth about baby's first year.

    With hilarious musings on desperately trying to recall lullabies, losing the weight, baby- proofing the house, encountering mommies with superbabies, postpartum depression, dueling grandmas, and still trying to lose the weight, Baby Laughs is the perfect companion for anyone trying to raise the next president, those just trying to get to the next naptime, and anyone who was ever in diapers. ... Read more

    Reviews (19)

    1-0 out of 5 stars Moments of truth, hours of baloney
    It may be that it has been too long since I've had a newborn.(my youngest is 3.)I've always enjoyed Jenny McCarthy's acting and when I saw this book I picked it up.I agree with some of the other reviews that she comes across as a very uninformed parent all the while claiming she did oodles of research (e.g. breastfeeding, circumcision).
    Needless to say I didn't enjoy this book, I didn't find it funny - perhaps Jenny is more of a visual artist, not literary.
    The one thing she nailed on the head was the chapter on mommy competition.While she did not explore this topic in depth, she did relate some amusing tales about hearing and dealing with this issue.
    Overall, I give this book 1 star.Luckily, it is a quick read and I didn't waste too much time reading it and I checked it out of the library, which I suggest you do also!

    1-0 out of 5 stars Really awful.....
    I read her first book, Belly Laughs, and some parts of it were at least entertaining, but I just found this one horrifying.She really does gloss over bad decisions that she makes repeatedly and the book is filled with misinformation.The breastfeeding part is one of those places, but there were plenty more.There are plenty of funny books about motherhood, and the first year of motherhood, that would be better use of your money.The Girlfriend's Guide is one, so is Sleeping Through the Night and Other Lies.

    1-0 out of 5 stars Cheap Shots from C-List "Celebrity" Mom
    This is by far the worst piece of writing, if you can call it that, I've read in years.Thinking that I might be able to identify with McCarthy and laugh a bit,my dear husband bought this as one of my gifts for my very first Mother's Day.I wish he hadn't.Honestly, I would have preferred a DVD of South Park episodes; at least they can cover crude middle school topics of snot, scabs, sex, anal issues, genitalia, blood, fat, feces, ignorance, and marital problems with ACTUAL humor.

    Her lack of understanding of basic biology was offensive, her poor parenting was ineffectively glossed over with an attempt at humor, and her superficial motives in nearly every chapter caused further revulsion.To make things worse, at the end of chapters filled with remarkably bad decisions or opinions, she attempts to brighten things up with saccharine advice or warnings. These come across sounding like the airhead across the bar who has a moment of deep thought before ordering another shot of Butterscotch Schnapps.

    Let me provide you with an example of such advice from page 89."So, now you know that if it takes a long time for you to get it ON (her emphasis), don't worry cuz (her spelling)if this horndog eventually found delight in a boner, you will too.RUFF RUFF! (her word choice)"

    Where was her editor?Who let her publish this without a ghost writer!?Why doesn't she use real words?One might ask, if it was so terrible, why I read the whole thing.It read like a bad movie, I kept telling myself that it HAD TO get better any minute.It didn't.I did laugh from time to time at how BAD this book was, maybe that counts for something.

    Would I buy this for a mom-to-be or a current mother?NO!Save your money and watch bad cable instead; you might laugh more.

    3-0 out of 5 stars Not as good as the first
    I read Jenny's first book, Belly Laughs, while pregnant with my first baby, and literally laughed so hard I cried. My husband read it and enjoyed it too, and he's not a reader at all. Every pregnant woman I loaned Belly Laughs to loved it.

    So when Baby Laughs came out, I couldn't wait to read it. Unfortunately, it's just not as good as the first book. While the tone is similar, the material and stories just aren't as funny this time around. Not enough sleep while writing this one maybe? If she writes another book about raising toddlers I'll still buy it - I can imagine what fun she'll have with the stories toddlers give you!

    5-0 out of 5 stars Wonderful follow up
    I absolutely loved her Belly Laughs book.I give it to all my pregnant girlfriends as part of their shower gift.I couldn't wait for her follow up book and as soon as I heard it was out, I ordered it right away.I read the whole book the afternoon I received it.I was not disappointed at all.Very funny and realistic.As I was laughing my but off, my 10 month old laughed along just seeing my face.That of course made me laugh harder!Enjoy new mommies, I did! ... Read more

    7. How to Talk So Kids Will Listen and Listen So Kids Will Talk
    by Adele Faber, Elaine Mazlish
    list price: $13.95
    our price: $10.46
    (price subject to change: see help)
    Asin: 0380811960
    Catlog: Book (1999-10-01)
    Publisher: Perennial Currents
    Sales Rank: 603
    Average Customer Review: 4.56 out of 5 stars
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    Book Description

    Here is the bestselling book that will give you the know-how you need to be effective with your children. Enthusiastically praised by parents and professionals around the world, the down-to-earth, respectful approach of Faber and Mazlish makes relationships with children of all ages less stressful and more rewarding.

    Recently revised and updated with fresh insights and suggestions, How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk is full of practical, innovative ways to solve common problems and build foundations for lasting relationships.

    ... Read more

    Reviews (77)

    3-0 out of 5 stars Good book, but not as thorough as should be
    I just read this book and -- though it it's right on the money in its attitude towards childrearing -- it doesn't describe the mechanics of how the "listening" and "talking" skills work as well as Thomas Gordon's Parent Effectiveness Training (P.E.T.). P.E.T. has a chapter called How to Listen so Children Will Talk and another called How to Talk so Children Will Listen. I wonder how the autors of this book got away with borrowing the title for their book straight out of some chapters in another (the original P.E.T. was published years before -- the one at stores now is a new edition).

    Lest it sound like I'm slamming this book, truth is it's not a bad read at all. But for an in-depth explanation of how these skills can be put to daily use, I'd go for P.E.T. Better yet, read both.

    Even better yet, first read Emotional Intelligence by Daniel Goleman to get an idea WHY these skills are so important to a child's development, then follow it up with P.E.T. and this book.

    4-0 out of 5 stars True to it's title
    I thought this book might be about how to use praise and language to avoid facing discipline issues with children but it is not like that at all. It teaches parents to be authorative and send the right messages without micro managing their children. The suggested changes are fairly straight forward and common sense, but may require some practice. Fortunately thare are many well illustrated examples and practical exercises to reinforce these ideas. This book stictly sticks to the topic of comunication and establishing cooperation which makes it an excellent supplement to any parents existing parenting style. Teaches mutual respect without surrendering parental authourity. A very good read.

    5-0 out of 5 stars A terrific book
    I feel this should be required reading for parents (and people in general). Easy to read. Great concepts. Great examples. And just as importantly, the tone is very respectful of the parents (so many of the other books on this topic tend to talk to parents like they don't get it...). I recommend it heartily.

    5-0 out of 5 stars Talking To Feelings With Just the Right Words...WORKS!
    Although this best selling book was originally written more than 20 years ago, I find the advice and specific suggestions extremely on target in 2004. The main strategy that has made such a positive difference in my life is to acknowlege my child's feelings before I give the direction for compliance. Most of the time, I do try to give well-meaning, honest (not always calm) responses to my 3-year-old that unfortunately sometimes escalate into a raging tantrum or no win power struggle such as in the following example at bedtime...My son announced, "I'm really scared of the big closet monster, Mommy." I responded honestly, "There's nothing to be scared about, there is no such thing as a real monster. Monsters are just make believe."...This conversation was followed by a long screamimg and kicking fit from a very tired, frustrated little boy.

    Now I have learned that by calmly talking to my son's feelings first, he knows that his point of view is understood and important to me. Then I have a better chance of getting him to stay in his bed. Because I chose to validate his feelings first, I got the cooperation I was after. I learned to say, "I see how worried you are...I've got a great idea...I'm getting the broom out to sweep the entire floor including every corner of your closet to make sure nothing is hiding in there...OK, it's completely empty, honey...only clothes in here. Hop in bed and I'll rub you back before our special good night kiss." ...It worked like a charm!

    I also highly recommend another newer pocket-sized book to accompany this classic tome called "The Pocket Parent." It is based on the very same philosophy of Haim Ginott and is chock full of hundreds of quick read tips and funny, true, short anecdotes from moms and dads relating to the challenging behaviors of 2-5 year olds (anger, bad words, bedtime and mealtime refusals, sibling fights, interrupting, whining and many more). These 2 books have taught me and my husband so many techniques that have worked at least once. We continue to refer to them for specific sensible strategies (including the exact words to try on our son). We appreciate the upbeat tone and great sense of humor of both books. Additionally, FYI...both parenting books have been translated into Spanish and are both available through

    5-0 out of 5 stars If you only read one parenting book...
    ...make it this one.

    Effective communication is the foundation of good parenting. This book has practical, easy-to-implement techniques to improve your communication with your kids. The format is such that busy parents can pick it up and read briefly, yet still come away with a couple useful ideas to put into play right away. It is written in themed sections and there are cartoon scenarios to illustrate exchanges between parents and kids. The cartoons show things going poorly and then a better way to approach the exchange. At the end of each section, a one-page box sums up the techniques described, along with a real-life example of each principle.

    Authors Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish worked with noted child psychologist Haim Ginott. In running parenting workshops utilizing Ginott's ideas, they accumulated lots of great real-life stories from parents that they use to illustrate their advice in this book. The content of the book is based on the themes that emerged from their parenting workshops, and thus resonates well with parents who want practical, straight-forward advice.

    This is a book that we keep handy on the nightstand and each of us picks it up again from time to time for a refresher (it's so easy to fall back into non-productive ways!)

    Improving your communication with your children will help you to get them to do what you want them to do; to understand better how they feel about things; to help them become more responsible; and to get them to talk to you--a real key as your child grows older and enters the teen years.

    *If you have more than one child, check out Faber and Mazlish's Siblings Without Rivalry: How to Help Your Children Live Together so You Can Live Too, which is really the chapter on sibling rivalry that grew too large to fit into How to Talk! ... Read more

    8. Perfect Madness: Motherhood in the Age of Anxiety
    by JudithWarner
    list price: $23.95
    our price: $16.77
    (price subject to change: see help)
    Asin: 1573223042
    Catlog: Book (2005-02-17)
    Publisher: Riverhead Hardcover
    Sales Rank: 771
    Average Customer Review: 2.5 out of 5 stars
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    The old adage is especially true for Perfect Madness: don't judge this eminently readable book by its stern and academic-looking cover. Judith Warner's missive on the "Mommy Mystique" can be read in a weekend, if readers have the time. Of course--according to the book--many would-be readers will have to carve out the hours in between an endless sea of child-enriching activities, a soul-sucking swirl that leads many mothers into a well of despair. Warner's book seeks to answer the question, "Why are today's young mothers so stressed out?" Whether shuttling kids to "enriching" after-school activities or worrying about the quality of available child care, the women of Perfect Madness describe a life far out of balance. Warner spends most of the book explaining how things got to this point, and what can be done to restore some sanity to the parenting process.

    Warner draws her research from a group of 20- to 40-year-old, upper-middle-class, college-educated women living in the East Coast corridor. In other words, mirror images of Warner herself. Her limited scope has caused controversy and criticism, as have some of her more sweeping statements. (For example, Warner blames second-wave feminism--rather than corporate culture--for the many limitations women still experience as they try to balance the work-family dynamic.) Other favorite targets include the mainstream media, detached fathers, and controlling, "hyperactive" mothers who create impossible standards for themselves, their children, and the community of other parents around them. Warner begins and ends the book with a compelling argument for the need for more societal support of mothers--quality-of-life government "entitlements" such as those found in France. It's these big-picture issues that will provide the solution, she says, even if most mothers don't want to discuss them because they consider the topic "tacky, strident-sounding, not the point." In these sections on governmental policy, and also when she steps back, encouraging women to be kinder to each other, the author's warmth comes across easily on the page. Pilloried by some readers and supported by others, Warner should at least be applauded for opening up the Pandora's Box of American motherhood for a new generation. And if readers are of two minds about the issues raised Perfect Madness, as Warner sometimes seems to be herself, it's a fitting reaction to a topic with few easy answers. --Jennifer Buckendorff END ... Read more

    Reviews (46)

    5-0 out of 5 stars A good read
    In Perfect Madness , Judith Warner successfully exposed a strong view being held by some groups of professional women about motherhood in the new millennium. It is all about securing career growth while being a mother, a path that demands less presence by the mother in the life of her child(ren), while at the same time is fraught with the pressure to be the ideal mum that children always dream about, the mother who is always there when needed. It is a rising conflict in motherhood in the rapidly professional America where the specter of single parent families is growing everyday. However I think this book should have toned down its strong feminist perspective. It is a good read though. Like THE USURPER AND OTHER, DISCIPLES OF FORTUNE, THE COLOR OF WATER, HOW TO AVOID THE MOMMY TRAP,THE JOYS OF MOTHERHOOD , the echoes of conflicts in motherhood are very similar. I like its hilarious side the most.

    2-0 out of 5 stars Unnecessarily bleak -- Read Avoid The Mommy Trap to avoid it
    Along with others, I kept wondering, where is the joy and magic of being a mother, and of children?Why are all the men depicted not helpful?I read an article quoting Judith Warner in which she stated that the men in her generation just were not going to help out enough to take this awful weight off of our shoulders.This assumption is not correct for many of us, thankfully.My husband does a little more in the house and with our children than I do, and we both have worked hard to achieve a good balance in our lives and we are in Warner's generation, and many of our peers do the same.The norm we see is parents sharing and mothers, whether they work or not, finding their own life after the first few years if not before, not the over-stressed Moms alphabetizing toys or lining up at 6 am to sign up for a pre-school or arts and crafts class.The best book on this subject and almost the only one that is not whiney or depressing is How To Avoid The Mommy Trap, by Julie Shields.Shields interviewed a different set of Washington parents, among others, including some in France.I'd much rather hang with them, and their children than in the amped up, unhappy world Warner presents.

    4-0 out of 5 stars A big warm pat on the back
    The book succeeds at the least in being an interesting read and quite a we're-all-in-this comfort if you're a mother working in or out of the home, or both. Though she's interviewed but a small slice of society, Warner taps into the extreme performance anxiety many American moms are facing as we try to cope with what society's dealt us.And it's not senseless whining, as other reviewers have claimed -- there's a clear agenda here, but it involves getting together and getting some big policy changes through -- in the interests of mothers and children, for a change. If more women understood that's what needed, fewer would blindly accept that mothering is a "sacrifice." It needn't be.

    4-0 out of 5 stars Necessary Read
    This book has struck a chord with me and many of the women I know balancing a family and work. The author has some great points about the lack of a public support system (or even a private one in today's world) and my generation of control freaks. I recognized myself and many of my friends in bits here and there throughout the book. It is also a good history on motherhood and feminism through the 20th century, and different social movements. This book also states right out front, it doesn't have the solution, but is a collection of what women are feeling.

    Where I feel the book lacks are a couple of areas. The author interviewed many women, but mainly women in the Washington D.C. area, it would have been good to see more women around the country profiled. Also many of my friends (inlcuding me) have husbands that are staying at home or sharing in child care and the book tends to focus on the father as the chief breadwinner and I quote, "Men who cut their hours to spend more time with their children are routinely regarded as losers." Nu uh, maybe in Washington D.C., but not in my world honey. I see men among my friends doing this, and men I work with, and when I hear one of them is working his schedule to keep up with his family, he is a hero in my eyes.

    I read this book on vacation, and my Mom seemed a bit worried about it. "Maybe you should read something a little more upbeat." She is right. The book did raise my own level of anxiety, but I think it was needed. I look forward to the slew of books that will provide the solution.

    1-0 out of 5 stars No real solutions, just hopelessness
    I finished Perfect Madness with a heavy sigh. As I thought about how to sum it up, all I could do was sigh some more.

    I'll compare it with Mommy Guilt, in which the underlying message throughout is, "You are not alone. It's OK. You're doing a great job. Forgive yourself. Stop feeling guilty." When I finished that book, I felt energized, excited, empowered. I wanted to tell everyone about it.

    Here's the message from Perfect Madness: Life sucks. It sucked for our mothers. We thought we would take over the world. We didn't. Life sucks for us. It even sucks in France now. Nowhere is a good place for women or their children. It's hopeless.

    Something seems underhanded. Much like the author accuses women of humiliating their husbands by sharing intimate details of their sex lives, she somehow does the same to other women. She sat among them, talked to them, even proclaimed to be one of them. Yet she took their confidences, stamped them with her judgment, fit them as pegs into the holes she so neatly lined up and turned them out for the world to see. In the beginning, she said she wanted to prove that mothers aren't divided. At the end, she divided them herself, pitting SAHMs against WOHMs.

    I'm not a frantic parent she discusses throughout the book. But you know what? I still feel overwhelmed, underappreciated and isolated sometimes. I need something to help me get through every day, every week, every year.

    Will the author's "solutions" help me get through today or even next year? The solutions are vague at best. I can say we need "quality daycare" too. But what exactly does that mean?

    Sigh. What a depressing book. I'll take empowerment (Mommy Guilt) over hopelessness (Perfect Madness) any day. ... Read more

    9. Them : A Memoir of Parents
    by Francinedu Plessix Gray
    list price: $29.95
    our price: $19.77
    (price subject to change: see help)
    Asin: 1594200491
    Catlog: Book (2005-05-05)
    Publisher: Penguin Press HC, The
    Sales Rank: 391
    Average Customer Review: 5.0 out of 5 stars
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    Book Description

    The much-acclaimed biographer's unflinchingly honest, wise, and forgiving portrait of her own famous parents: two wildly talented Russian émigrés who fled wartime Paris to become one of New York's first and grandest power couples.

    Tatiana du Plessix, the wife of a French diplomat, was a beautiful, sophisticated "white Russian" who had been the muse of the famous Russian poet Vladimir Mayakovsky. Alexander Liberman, the ambitious son of a prominent Russian Jew, was a gifted magazine editor and aspiring artist. As part of the progressive artistic Russian émigré community living in Paris in the 1930s, the two were destined to meet. They began a passionate affair, and the year after Paris was occupied in World War II they fled to New York with Tatiana's young daughter, Francine.

    There they determinedly rose to the top of high society, holding court to a Who's Who list of the midcentury's intellectuals and entertainers. Flamboyant and outrageous, bold and brilliant, they were irresistible to friends like Marlene Dietrich, Salvador Dalí, and the publishing tycoon Condé Nast. But to those who knew them well they were also highly neurotic, narcissistic, and glacially self-promoting, prone to cut out of their lives, with surgical precision, close friends who were no longer of use to them.

    Tatiana became an icon of New York fashion, and the hats she designed for Saks Fifth Avenue were de rigueur for stylish women everywhere. Alexander Liberman, who devotedly raised Francine as his own child from the time she was nine, eventually came to preside over the entire Condé Nast empire. The glamorous life they shared was both creative and destructive and was marked by an exceptional bond forged out of their highly charged love and raging self-centeredness. Their obsessive adulation of success and elegance was elevated to a kind of worship, and the high drama that characterized their lives followed them to their deaths. Tatiana, increasingly consumed with nostalgia for a long-lost Russia, spent her last years addicted to painkillers. Shortly after her death, Alexander, then age eighty, shocked all who knew him by marrying her nurse.

    Them: A Portrait of Parents is a beautifully written homage to the extraordinary lives of two fascinating, irrepressible people who were larger than life emblems of a bygone age. Written with honesty and grace by the person who knew them best, this generational saga is a survivor's story. Tatiana and Alexander survived the Russian Revolution, the fall of France, and New York's factory of fame. Their daughter, Francine, survived them.
    ... Read more

    Reviews (2)

    5-0 out of 5 stars A Memoir to Remember
    Francine du Plessix Gray who, has written several fine novels as well as complex and satisfying biographies of the Marquis de Sade and Simone Weil, now tenderly explores the lives of her famously mercurial parents. "Them" is a success any way you look at it; the elegant writing and the loving way she examines the life she had with these completely self-absorbed people make this memoir worth reading.

    Her parents were Tatiana Yakoleva, a renowned New York designer of hats, and Alex Liberman, who was one of the creators of modern fashion journalism at Vogue. The du Plessix in Francine's name comes from her birth father, a hero of the French Resistance who died early in World War II. Although he never adopted her, Alex Liberman was the father she knew and loved, the man she and her mother always saw as the one who rescued them from the horrors of war. Tatiana had already fled one revolution, leaving Russia to live in Paris as a teenager with her grandmother, aunt, and uncle. In her early 20s, she met the dynamic Russian revolutionary poet and playwright Vladimir Mayakovsky during one of his visits to France. He wrote one of his most beautiful poems to her and begged her to return to Russia with him. But her fear was too great, and she married diplomat Bertrand du Plessix before Mayakovsky could return to again persuade her. Mayakovsky had been under growing scrutiny for his criticism of increasing oppression in the new Soviet Union, and he committed suicide shortly thereafter. His letters were one of the Tatiana's most carefully guarded items when she fled Europe.

    Photos from the family's arrival in New York make them look like a tight-knit trio, but Tatiana and Alex were terrible parents. They shuttled off Froshka, as they called her, with all sorts of extraneous family and friends. A friend had to tell her that her father was dead. They failed to tell her when they got married. They were as ambitious and thoughtless as two people can be. But they loved her very much.

    What makes this memoirs so remarkable is how warmly du Plessix Gray writes about all this. She does not see herself as a victim, which is probably why she has a close and healthy family life as an adult. Beautiful writing, fearlessness, and compassion make this a memoir that will hold readers captive from start to finish.

    5-0 out of 5 stars We cannot choose our parents . . .
    "Them" is an engrossing read.Mrs. Gray portrays her parents in their full roundedness with no holds barred when it comes to revealing their faults as well as their virtues.In reading the memoir, I found myself saying "what fascinating people yet how obnoxious. . . how powerful an emotion love is to permit a daughter to see all her parents' faults and still treat them with respect."The book is also a portrait of a time and an industry (magazine publishing) and of people finely attuned to the needs of fashionable society.It's also about Change and how we all become outmoded when our work fails to meet changing fashions. ... Read more

    10. Unconditional Parenting : Moving from Rewards and Punishments to Love and Reason
    by Alfie Kohn
    list price: $25.00
    our price: $16.50
    (price subject to change: see help)
    Asin: 0743487478
    Catlog: Book (2005-03-22)
    Publisher: Atria
    Sales Rank: 998
    Average Customer Review: 4.0 out of 5 stars
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    Book Description

    Most parenting guides begin with the question "How can we get kids to do what they're told?"--and then proceed to offer various techniques for controlling them. In this truly groundbreaking book, nationally respected educator Alfie Kohn begins instead by asking "What do kids need--and how can we meet those needs?" What follows from that question are ideas for working with children rather than doing things to them.

    One basic need all children have, Kohn argues, is to be loved unconditionally, to know that they will be accepted even if they screw up or fall short. Yet conventional approaches to parenting such as punishments (including "time-outs"), rewards (including positive reinforcement), and other forms of control teach children that they are loved only when they please us or impress us. Kohn cites a body of powerful, and largely unknown, research detailing the damage caused by leading children to believe they must earn our approval. That's precisely the message children derive from common discipline techniques, even though it's not the message most parents intend to send.

    More than just another book about discipline, though, Unconditional Parenting addresses the ways parents think about, feel about, and act with their children. It invites them to question their most basic assumptions about raising kids while offering a wealth of practical strategies for shifting from "doing to" to "working with" parenting--including how to replace praise with the unconditional support that children need to grow into healthy, caring, responsible people. This is an eye-opening, paradigm-shattering book that will reconnect readers to their own best instincts and inspire them to become better parents. ... Read more

    Reviews (12)

    5-0 out of 5 stars Carefully reasoned explanation of good parenting
    Alfie Kohn consistently writes thought provoking books which are well supported by research, which is carefully cited. As a result, you can easily follow up on any of the ideas he discusses. Because he provides a thoughtful and reasonable explanation of his ideas, you can generalize to many situations using the logic he lays out. His argument is deeper than "what works" or "what we have always done." And that means it requires thoughtful consideration. It is well worth the effort. I am a parent, a grandparent, a psychotherapist, and a parent educator. I use all of Kohn's books, and I am extremely grateful that he has addressed the issues of parenting. It is helpful to be able to recommend good books to the parents with whom I have the privilege of working.

    5-0 out of 5 stars Runs counter to everything else I've read or heard.
    ...and illicited numerous knee jerks from me in the course or reading.And, yet, I'm unable to refute anything he has said in this book.Even if you choose to ignore what this author has to say, you should read this book to understand what you are choosing to ignore.

    3-0 out of 5 stars Not much practical advice
    I bought this book after hearing the author on NPR. While I agree that time-outs, rewards, and punishments may be overused these days, I had trouble ferreting out what exactly he proposed as their alternatives. The book is more about his parenting philosophies and about criticising other parenting books than about giving practical advice to parents. There is little advice and few real-life examples.
    Two things I found upsetting about the book: one, his assertion that "other" parenting books would recommend that you deny your child their bedtime cuddling routine after a tantrum. I would like to know WHAT book he is referring to, because neither my Mommy friends nor I could recall ever hearing such advice. Secondly, he says that if a mother refers to herself in the third person ("let Mommy help you") when the child is old enough to understand the pronouns "me" or "I", that the mother is distancing herself from her child. Nonsense! I refer to myself as "Mommy" all the time, it's a title I'm proud to use exclusively when speaking with my daughter, and I am quite certain that I am not distancing myself from her by referring to myself as Mommy, subconsciously or otherwise.

    5-0 out of 5 stars This positive parent loved it!
    Our family has, by and large, adopted most aspects of attachment parenting and, as our daughter grew, positive parenting.As I read this book, it felt as if Alfie Kohn had been inhabiting the recesses of my mind that were (to me) inexplicably torn about giving our daughter a treat when she used the potty.Whether you read Alfie Kohn, Magda Gerber, William Sears, or many others, respect for children remains key.

    As a Children's Librarian, I see many flavors of parenting every day.I also see the effects of parenting styles on unattended children on a daily basis.What helps me remain a caring professional even on rough days is respecting the young customers who need assistance.I've seen enough child reactions to silently hope for better from my own daughter, but this book has encouraged me to think about what I really want for her, why I want it, and how to allow her to become the best person she can be.

    5-0 out of 5 stars This is deeper than "what works or not..."
    I am always amazed at people's reactions to truth. In reading some of the less enthusiastic reviews here, I can't help but want to point out that this book touched a chord in them because they are defending their own need to parent conditionally. Alfie Kohn is not extreme or radical or unreasonable in any way. What he writes about speaks to a child's healthy psyche, spirit and self. But it takes a parent who is self-aware and honest enough to look within in order to think about things from a child's point of view. I ask this: if conditional parenting (timeouts, spanking, bribery, punishments, etc) apparently "works," then why do we have so many people in jail, on drugs, on the streets, on Prozac, suffering from eating disorders, abusing themselves and others, crashing and burning, cheating, gambling, running,staggering out of failed marriages and sabotaging jobs and their own potential???
    Alfie Kohn dares to speak out about something deeply human and ironically profoundly difficult for so many people to grasp and accept. Many parents want control of their children because those adults are threatened by anything that affects their perceived power and suppressed fears. Since so many adults are wounded, unresolved, still suffering the slings and arrows of their own upbringing, they feel only marginally better about themselves if they are keeping the children "in line." It's tragic. And I applaud Alfie Kohn for having the passion and courage to advocate for our children. How many adults are in therapy saying "My parents never thought I was good enough..." Or "I never really felt lived for who I was..." ... Read more

    11. What to Expect the Toddler Years
    by Arlene Eisenberg
    list price: $16.95
    our price: $11.86
    (price subject to change: see help)
    Asin: 0894809946
    Catlog: Book (1994-01-11)
    Publisher: Workman Publishing Company
    Sales Rank: 890
    Average Customer Review: 3.52 out of 5 stars
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    Book Description

    They guided you through pregnancy, they guided you through baby's first year, and now they'll guide you through the toddler years. In a direct continuation of What to Expect When You're Expecting (over 9.6 million copies in print) and What to Expect the First Year (over 5.6 million copies in print), America's bestselling pregnancy and childcare authors turn their uniquely comprehensive, lively, and reassuring coverage to years two and three.

    Organized month by month for the second year (months 12-24) and quarterly through the third year (months 24-36), What to Expect the Toddler Years covers each growth and development phase parents are likely to encounter-when they're likely to encounter it. Hundreds of questions and answers treat everything from eating and sleeping problems to day care, tantrums, bottle mouth, shyness, self-esteem, and more. An entire third section of the book is devoted to toilet training, safety, and health, and a fourth covers special concerns-the exceptional child, siblings, and balancing work and parenting.

    Remarkably thorough, caring and intelligent, What to Expect the Toddler Years is as valuable for the seasoned parent as it is for the new parent. 2.4 million copies in print. ... Read more

    Reviews (58)

    5-0 out of 5 stars the best toddler book out there of its kind, a true lifesave
    The authors write the most comprehensive survey of all aspects of parenting a toddler. In particular, I find the advice on behavioral issues so helpful. Something I didn't "expect" to be so enlightening and thorough. The common sense format makes it easy to find exactly what you are looking for. A must for any parent!

    I'd also like to comment on the customer review from NY dated 1/24. I do not think the author's biases on nursing and self comforting stand out any more than any other author on the wide variety of subjects on children that are out there. We are ALL passionate about raising our children the way we think is best for each and every one of us, including the authors. I'd be surprised if they were NOT apparent. I'm happy to know that you still found it helpful!

    3-0 out of 5 stars A good reference, but....
    I bought this book as a first time parent who wanted something encyclopedic that we could reach for in the middle of the night if necessary, and this book serves that purpose. It has a good index, which is helpful. Unfortunately, the authors seem to take advantage of far too many opportunities to peddle their agenda of weaning children by one year from breast or bottle, as well as getting them to sleep alone in a crib throughout the night. As other reviewers pointed out, they include some inaccurate information about breast feeding, e.g. they say it has no nutritional benefits (does this mean a liquid containing protein and nutrients is the equivalent of a candy cane?) after one year and question if it will somehow delay the development of self comforting skills if the child is able to obtain comfort through nursing. With regard to sleeping through the night alone, they do not simply recommend it, they write that you are depriving your child of the opportunity to learn to self comfort along with a host of other reasons why they believe it can be harmful to comfort your chld at night without commenting on the possible benefits.

    The bias is not in the questions they raise, but rather in the fact that they do not discuss opposing views. It seems to me that the reason the book elicits strong reactions is that it is probably the best one of its type available. The overall quality of the book makes these areas of bias where the authors state their position as gospel stand out as extremely disappointing to the reader who disagrees with the authors particular biases.

    There are serious problems affecting children in our country and a high rate of violence among children and adults. We have school programs to teach empathy in an effort to decrease violence among older children. Perhaps this would not be as necessary if those we look to as experts counseled all new parents to show greater empathy to our children and to worry less about teaching our infants and toddlers to comfort themselves.

    4-0 out of 5 stars Good Info
    These books are nice for first time parents. Nice to have general information to use. Great for a baby shower gift.

    4-0 out of 5 stars Very Comprehensive---but Lacks an Easy Access Topic Format
    My wife and I feel that the WHAT TO EXPECT TODDLER YEARS belongs in every new parent's library along with the other 2 books in the series. They have truly been our "parenting bibles." There is a great deal of useful information in this comprehensive reference guide about 1's, 2's and 3's, and we especially like the medical advice offered. However, we are sometimes disappointed when we attempt to quickly look up insight and answers to specific behavioral questions that continue to pop up with our 2 and 3 year-old daughters. Since the chapter format is organized by months of age instead of topics, we sometimes become frustrated searching for the guidance we need at the moment scattered under different months of age. Additionally, when we do find the information, we often want more depth and more tips to try for each misbehavior. However, we do realize that no one book can have it all-even one with over 900 pages! Recently, my wife found a very helpful pocket-guide in her OB's waiting room, called appropriately- THE POCKET PARENT. It is filled with hundreds of sensible quick-read bulleted suggestions to many of the behavior concerns that we have with our children. "The Pocket Parent" is published by the same publisher (Workman) and is exclusively written for parents of 2's, 3's, 4's, and 5's. The many topics are in an A-Z format, sprinkled with a good dose of compassion and humor that we find helpful and comforting. This totally up-beat book does not preach (no should's or dont's) and is a great little companion for the more encyclopedic "What to Expect Toddlers". "The Pocket Parent" recognizes that the parents are the real experts with their children. The authors suggest that each parent filter the advice through their own personalities and parenting styles and select those strategies that seem to be a good fit for their family. It addresses such common concerns as Bad Words, Bedtime, Biting, Fears at night, Gimmes, Lying, Morning "Crazies", Separation Anxiety, Sibling Rivalry, Tantrums, and Whining . I found myself chuckling as a read some of the brief anecdotes (many specifically about dads) that I coincidently just encountered with my own kids. Both of these reference guides continue to ease our anxieties and frustrations while building the confidence necessary to make good choices as parents. We highly recommend both of these books for your home library to refer to again and again especially when you're in need of some sensible information or just a caring verbal hug that everything is going to be OK.

    1-0 out of 5 stars bad advice on discipline, tantrums and behavior
    This book does an ok job of covering the medical and developmental topics, but let's face it: most questions we all have about toddlers involve behavior! I followed their advice for 6 months, and in retrospect feel that they too frequently make parents feel that we risk harming our toddlers self esteem by setting firm boundaries. In general, I feel their philosophy is too wimpy. They even say that some kids are just unhappy/grumpy by nature and that you can't do anything about it. I strongly disagree, and after purchasing a few more parenting books, feel that my son is so much happier, communicates with me better, and I enjoy being a mother so much more! There are no right/wrong answers to parenting toddlers, but this book is way too wimpy and submissive when addressing very little people with big opinions. ... Read more

    12. Because I Said So : 33 Mothers Write About Children, Sex, Men, Aging, Faith, Race, and Themselves
    by Kate Moses, Camille Peri
    list price: $24.95
    our price: $16.47
    (price subject to change: see help)
    Asin: 0060598786
    Catlog: Book (2005-05-01)
    Publisher: HarperCollins
    Sales Rank: 1003
    Average Customer Review: 5.0 out of 5 stars
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    Reviews (1)

    5-0 out of 5 stars This is a Phenomal Book!
    This is one of my top Five books of 2005. In fact, this is the best book I have read this year. If I could give it a ten, I would. I identified with each of the authors in this collection of essays ~~ even though some of their experiences I may not share, they are writing from the deep reaches of their hearts and souls. This book is not only a collection of essays of women from all ages and all walks of life ~~ it is about Everywoman. It's about you and me.

    When I started reading this book, I thought, oh, I'll have one favorite essay. Nope. I have more than one ~~ in fact, I love them all. These women have a wonderful and rare gift of expressing their thoughts and feelings on paper. They are inspirational for me to be the best mother, wife, friend, daughter that I can be. And if you're worried that this is all about women writing about children and parenting ~~ your fears are groundless. These women are writing about everything. They write about divorce, race, religion, abuse, love, tenderness, parenting, babysitting, watching their children grow up, dealing with prejudice,having nannies, being banned from the mosque and more.

    These women write of real experiences. These women are not angry writers. They are thoughtful and reflective writers, writing with prose, humor and lyrical rhyming. These women reveal their strength and grace in their essays. They don't have any male-bashing in their essays nor are they bitter or angry. They just write and their feelings and thoughts flow together in a wonderful chime of words.

    If I have any regret from reading this book, it's this one. I wish I could meet each and every single one of these essayists and sit down with them and just talk. I have learned so much from the little they've shared within this book, that I want to learn more. They are inspirational for women like me who do like to read and think. These women take in their events that changes them and in a small way, they change my perceptions and thoughts. A reader cannot walk away from this book without gleaning something from this book. It's just impossible. These writers make you stop and think about issues that you may not even be aware of. They challenge the status quo, so to speak. You cannot be comfortable with life after reading some of these essays ~~ but like I said, they're not angry writers, just perceptive and challenging writers. They force you to think, whether you like it or not.

    I highly recommend this book for every woman and men too. Men can learn a lot about women and what we think just from reading this book. If you're looking for a wonderful Mother's Day gift for the thinking and reading woman in your life, this book is it. I also recommend it for high school/young women to read ~~ it gives them an idea of what women face every day as they juggle the roles of motherhood and wifehood or single parenting or just being a woman in today's world. This is a wonderful book and a best gift for everyone to add to their booklist.

    4-12-05 ... Read more

    13. The Happiest Toddler on the Block : The New Way to Stop the Daily Battle of Wills and Raise a Secure andWell-Behaved One- to Four-Year-Old
    by Harvey Karp, Paula Spencer
    list price: $22.95
    our price: $16.06
    (price subject to change: see help)
    Asin: 0553802569
    Catlog: Book (2004-03-02)
    Publisher: Bantam
    Sales Rank: 487
    Average Customer Review: 4.56 out of 5 stars
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    Book Description

    Toddlers can drive you bonkers…so adorable and fun one minute…so stubborn and demanding the next! Yet, as unbelievable as it sounds, there is a way to turn the daily stream of “nos” and “don’ts” into “yeses” and hugs…if you know how to speak your toddler’s language. In one of the most useful advances in parenting techniques of the past twenty-five years, Dr. Karp reveals that toddlers, with their immature brains and stormy outbursts, should be thought of not as pint-size people but as pintsize…cavemen. Having noticed that the usual techniques often failed to calm crying toddlers, Dr. Karp discovered that the key to effective communication was to speak to them in their own primitive language. When he did, suddenly he was able to soothe their outbursts almost every time! This amazing success led him to the realization that children between the ages of one and four go through four stages of “evolutionary” growth, each linked to the development of the brain, and each echoing a step in prehistoric humankind’s journey to civilization:• The “Charming Chimp-Child” (12 to 18 months): Wobbles around on two legs, grabs everything in reach, plays a nonstop game of “monkey see monkey do.”• The “Knee-High Neanderthal” (18 to 24 months): Strong-willed, fun-loving, messy, with a vocabulary of about thirty words, the favorites being “no” and “mine.”• The “Clever Caveman” (24 to 36 months): Just beginning to learn how to share, make friends, take turns, and use the potty.• The “Versatile Villager” (36 to 48 months): Loves to tell stories, sing songs and dance, while trying hard to behave.To speak to these children, Dr. Karp has developed two extraordinarily effective techniques:1) The “fast food” rule — restating what your child has said to make sure you got it right;2) The four-step rule — using gesture, repetition, simplicity, and tone to help your irate Stone-Ager be happy again.Once you’ve mastered “toddler-ese,” you will be ready to apply behavioral techniques specific to each stage of your child’s development, such as teaching patience and calm, doing time-outs (and time-ins), praise through “gossiping,” and many other strategies. Then all the major challenges of the toddler years —including separation anxiety, sibling rivalry, toilet training, night fears, sleep problems, picky eating, biting and hitting, medicine taking — can be handled in a way that will make your toddler feel understood. The result: fewer tantrums, less yelling, and, best of all, more happy, loving time for you and your child. ... Read more

    Reviews (16)

    5-0 out of 5 stars Great, as expected!
    I ran to the bookstore to get Dr. Karp's new book based on my experience with his phenomenal book about babies. I can say that Dr. Karp has proven how genius he is again. So simple, yet so powerful. No wonder he keeps coming back to Dr. Phil's 101 Parenting show. He has real advice that any parent absolutely needs to hear. It made my life so much easier. I am still practicing my "toddler-ese" but I can see immediate results. The book is not just helpful but it is FUN to read.
    I have to say that, by adopting Dr. Karp's methods, I can enjoy my kids more. I have minimized daily struggles with them and maximized fun time we have together. That makes my kids love me even more, especially my 18 months old girl who is a real "Neanderthal in my kitchen".
    Thank you Dr. Karp. I love your books! And I am looking forward to seeing your video about toddlers.

    5-0 out of 5 stars Dr. Karp does it again!!
    Unlike his "The Happiest Baby on the Block" book, there is no "short cut" page to turn to in this book - because dealing with toddlers is not the same as turning on a calming reflex in an infant...
    So this is a book you actually have to read all the way through.

    Dr. Karp saved our sanity and kept our daughter from "colic" with his first book - and this one came out JUST in time for us to start learning how to deal with her toddler behavior. At one and a half - we don't have the screaming tantrums or battles all of my mommy-friends keep complaining about.

    My daughter and I "communicate" thanks to Dr. K's wonderful book...
    Definitely worth the read!!!

    5-0 out of 5 stars Whoa, It Actually Works!
    My son is 23 months old and definitely in the Terrible Two's stage. I felt helpless, lost and had no control of the situation whenever my son would snap into his "I want it my way" mode, sprawling on the floor. I truly had no idea how to calm my boy down. It was very frustrating. I can be very snap-y at times, but I did not want to be that way with my son. After all, he is just a toddler.

    I happened to read a snippet about Dr. Karp's book in The New York Times' Science Times section. When I read about his concept that toddlers are basically Neanderthals, I thought he was definitely onto something (I always referred to my son as Bam-Bam from The Flintstones!). With my interest piqued enough, I ordered the book from Amazon.

    After a couple of days, I tried Dr. Karp's Prehistoric Parenting method. I was shocked when after a couple of times repeating "You want mommy. You REAALLLY WANT MOMMY!!", my son stopped his tantrum; looked at me; and simply said, "Sorry!" It was like a revelation.

    I love that you don't need to read every chapter in its entirety. When stuff about kids older than 3 years old came up, I went straight to the next chapter, since my son is almost 2.

    My only criticism is that a lot of ideas are repeated over to a fault. But I could live with that. Dr. Karp is just trying to reiterate his messages.

    Overall, I give this a 5 star rating for the sheer fact that the Dr. Karp's method of Prehistoric Parenting and speaking Toddler-ese really does work!

    Do yourself a favor and buy this book. You won't be sorry. In fact, you'll be relieved!

    3-0 out of 5 stars Great concept but could have been reduced to a booklet
    Let me first say that I'm a big fan of Dr. Karp's Happiest Baby on the Block book. He had a theory (recreating the womb) and explained several ways to carry it out.

    In this book, he has a theory that your child needs to feel understood and you should let them know you understand them by repeating back to them what they just told you, then empathizing. In their words, at their level. ("The Fast Food Rule") That's ALL. The book is full of examples and uses a caveman analogy to get its point across, but basically the message reiterated is the same or a variation on the Fast Food Rule. The video that accompanies this book is only 37 minutes long!

    The "Happiest Baby, INC." trademark on the back says it all, I suppose. The main goal here seems to have been to turn out a sequel and fluff it up as much as possible to generate maximum profit.

    5-0 out of 5 stars No more dreading temper tantrums
    After having so much success with the Happiest Baby on the Block calming
    techniques, I could not wait to watch The Happiest Toddler on the Block
    by Harvey Karp,M.D.

    My 22 month old grandson began to scream when I told him it was time to
    go inside. I spoke "toddlerese" with much expression as suggested by Dr.
    I said, " No No No" you do not want to go inside.
    He looked at me very surprised.
    I said, "No No No" you do not want to go inside.
    He looked at me again with his mouth wide open.
    I said again, "No No No you do not want to go
    inside, but we must take sister to potty."

    ---------he came with me without protest. In the past he
    would have continued screaming for about 5 minutes and
    I would have picked him up kicking and screaming.

    Now I can't wait to read the book The Happiest Toddler on the Block Book to get
    more helpful suggestions for the children in my family and in my

    Phyllis Meer,RN, BSN,CPNP
    and proud grandmother of 4. ... Read more

    14. Secrets of the Baby Whisperer: How to Calm, Connect, and Communicate with Your Baby
    list price: $13.95
    our price: $10.46
    (price subject to change: see help)
    Asin: 0345440900
    Catlog: Book (2002-01)
    Publisher: Ballantine Books
    Sales Rank: 618
    Average Customer Review: 3.44 out of 5 stars
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    Book Description

    “TRACY HOGG HAS GIVEN PARENTS A GREAT GIFT–the ability to develop early insight into their child’s temperament.”
    –Los Angeles Family

    When Tracy Hogg’s Secrets of the Baby Whisperer was first published, it soared onto bestseller lists across the country. Parents everywhere became “whisperers” to their newborns, amazed that they could actually communicate with their baby within weeks of their child’s birth. Tracy gave parents what for some amounted to a miracle: the ability to understand their baby’s every coo and cry so that they could tell immediately if the baby was hungry, tired, in real distress, or just in need of a little TLC. Tracy also dispelled the insidious myth that parents must go sleepless for the first year of a baby’s life–because a happy baby sleeps through the night. Now you too can benefit from Tracy’s more than twenty years’ experience. In this groundbreaking book, she shares simple, accessible programs in which you will learn:

    • E.A.S.Y.–how to get baby to eat, play, and sleep on a schedule that will make every member of the household’s life easier and happier.
    • S.L.O.W.–how to interpret what your baby is trying to tell you (so you don’t try to feed him when he really wants a nap).
    • How to identify which type of baby yours is–Angel, Textbook, Touchy, Spirited, or Grumpy–and then learn the best way to interact with that type.
    • Tracy’s Three Day Magic–how to change any and all bad habits (yours and the baby’s) in just three days.

    At the heart of Tracy’s simple but profound message: treat the baby as you would like to be treated yourself. Reassuring, down-to-earth, and often flying in the face of conventional wisdom, Secrets of the Baby Whisperer promises parents not only a healthier, happier baby but a more relaxed and happy household as well.

    ... Read more

    Reviews (349)

    1-0 out of 5 stars Not for us at all
    Her style of parenting & recommendations are not what feels right for us. It is natural for a baby to be very needy and a schedule should not be forced on an infant.

    5-0 out of 5 stars Changed My Life
    This book is amazing. After three or four days of getting our six week old son on this schedule his sleep at night has increased from 2-4 hours a night to 5-7 hours night almost instantly. I just wish I would of read this before the baby was born as we were falling into some of the bad habits she talks about (over stimulation, over feeding) that leads to fussy children and bad sleep patterns. MUCH happier parents and baby.

    1-0 out of 5 stars Not what is seems
    Tracy Hogg claims this is a middle of the road approach. It isn't. As a parent and as a licensed marriage and family therapist, I have read most of the parenting books on the market. This book isn't much different from all of the other sleep training books out there. It is obvious it is written from the perspective of a babysitter rather than a medical doctor or psychologist. Her change a "bad" habit in three days is ridiculous and oversimplified. Yes, you can change a behavior if you are ruthless enough about it, but that doesn't mean you should. Picking up the baby and putting them back down repeatedly as she recommends might make you feel like you are doing something rather than just leaving them there to cry, but you aren't meeting the babies need for closeness. In one example she explains that in one night she picked up and put a baby down 172 times (when he cried, she picked him up and as soon as he stopped she put him down), how frustrating for this poor baby who was trying to communicate a need that went unmet. After several days, the baby gave up and didn't cry in his crib anymore. She cites this as an example of how great her training program is. Babies are people with needs. I met a family recently who used this approach and their baby responded to this program like a trained pup. She was complacent and passive. She slept through the night without a peep and from 8:00 p.m. to 7:00 a.m. Her daily routines involved videos, bottles, and crib-time with a bunch of pacifiers. No rocking, no lullabyes, definitely no nursing. It definitely was easy as her "E.A.S.Y." program implies. But, this kind of approach has negative long term effects. The mother said that the approach is great because her child doesn't have to "waste energy communicating her needs" because they tell her what she needs. This is a big premise of this book. I found this very sad. Children need to learn to identify their needs, communicate their needs, and have those needs met. In this process they learn to communicate and have healthy trusting relationships with others. These sleep training programs are based on behavioral psychological theories. The problem with this is that these approaches are more appropriate for animals, which is how these theories developed, and can be used for older children and adults for certain problems. But it is completely developmentally inappropriate to use these behavior modification approaches with human infants. The first 12 to 18 months of life the primary task of a human infant is to learn to trust. Books like this make the routine more important than the relationship. This causes significant long term relationship problems that the child will struggle with in the years to come. I see this every day in my practice-problems with intimacy and materialism, attaching and finding comfort in objects continuing later in life- the bottle, pacifier, and blankie become the cigarette, the alcoholic drink, the compulsive shopping, the compulsive eating, etc tomorrow. Of course the occasional use of a pacifier or bottle when mom isn't available is handy, but overrelying on mother substitutes as Tracy recommends is not good for your child. If you want to learn more about child development, go right to the source and study Winnicott, Kohut and Bowlby. Or if you want to read a book marketed to parents the only author I can recommend who is consistent with developmental needs is Dr. Sears.

    1-0 out of 5 stars lacking in substance
    I was disappointed with this book. Tracy Hogg is writing from the perspective of a nanny and that is apparant in her approach. It doesn't really discuss the relationship between parent and child. It focuses on a daily schedule of eating, activity, sleeping, and you time. I was offended by her opinions and attitudes about breastfeeding. If you are a stay at home mom who breastfeeds this book is definitely not for you. Perhaps if you are working full-time and need to have a scheduled baby and plan to bottle feed, then this book might fit your needs. Tracy's section on breastfeeding focuses on the downsides of breastfeeding making comments like "if you have body image issues, you shouldn't breastfeed, it will make your breasts sag" and "if you breastfeed past age one, you are doing it for yourself, not your baby". I find these comments interesting because the American Academy of Pediatrics has officially put out a recommendation that all babies be breastfeed for a minimum of one year and to continue breastfeeding for as long as is mutually beneficial. The former surgeon general has stated that all babies benefit from breastfeeding for at least one year and it is the lucky baby who gets to breastfeed until age 2. The world health organization has recommended breastfeeding until at least age two. These recommendations are based in the physical, emotional, and psychological benefits of breastfeeding. Tracy definitely minimizes the importance of breastfeeding in this book. Also, she minimizes sleep difficulties a baby may have and stresses that all babies must learn to fall asleep by themselves. However, at the same time she really advises using a pacifier and letting babies suck on the pacifier while falling asleep, I don't see how this is any different from nursing to sleep, which she strongly advises not to do,but she pushes bottles, pacifiers, and thumb sucking. I guess coming from a nanny's perspective these would be your primary tools in baby care.

    1-0 out of 5 stars I wish I could rate it no star
    This book is really annoying. The tone is smug - the author acts as if she invented sleep training - and the theory can be shaky, at best. I don't really think the time to start making your baby independent is the day she is born, and I was particularly offended by the little section on breastfeeding vs. formula. Any book that implies that studies proving breast feeding superior to formula feeding are somehow inaccurate is insane! I mean, we are all free to make our own decisions, but let's be honest with ourselves.

    Don't waste your time on this and don't give this irritating woman any more money!!!! ... Read more

    15. On Becoming Baby Wise: The Classic Reference Guide Used by Over 1,000,000 Parents Worldwide
    by Gary Ezzo, Robert Bucknam
    list price: $12.95
    our price: $9.71
    (price subject to change: see help)
    Asin: 0971453209
    Catlog: Book (2001-11-01)
    Publisher: Hawks Flight & Association
    Sales Rank: 493
    Average Customer Review: 3.31 out of 5 stars
    US | Canada | United Kingdom | Germany | France | Japan

    Reviews (462)

    5-0 out of 5 stars Common Sense Breastfeeding Advise
    My wife and I rec'd this book as a gift. We are both from Dairy farming backgrounds.We know that for a healthy breastfed baby, you need a healthy mother producing enough milk. We successfully used Dr. Ezzo's advice. Our daughter (soon to be 2) started sleeping thru the night at 5 weeks. She has always been in the 90th percentile for height, weight and head circumference. She sleeps 11 hours at night and she takes a 2-3 hour nap every day.
    Since she was born she has had one cold and one fever, otherwise never sick! My wife breastfed her for 8.5 months. We also took Dr. Ezzo's advise and taught her sign language. She can now sign about 20 signs. I highly recommend both Dr. Ezzo's Babywise Books. I'm reading Childwise right now! Oh by the way, people who are against this book always seem so ANGRY! Could it be they aren't getting enough sleep!!!

    4-0 out of 5 stars Follow your gut
    For the first three months I followed "Happiest Baby on the Block" and LOVED it. But at 3 3/4 months, my daughter was NOT sleeping through the night, it was taking 2 hours to put her to bed at night and she was up every 2-3 hours every night. I needed some help. "Happiest Baby..." gave me a great start to help her with being upset, but not with sleeping. Someone recommend Baby wise to me. We looked at it and I put it down for one month (she was two months old) until now. I LOVE the idea of the schedule (eat, play and sleep) that part was really good and made a huge difference in her eating habits (ate more effectively) and her play was more fun and enjoyable. We have decided to try the cry it out and it was HARD. But she only cries for less than 10 minutes now (at first 45 minutes) and now she ONLY cries when she is tired. She wakes up happy and ready to eat and more importantly has been taking great naps and sleeping at night for 5-6 hours at a time (I am still breast feeding). It has to be your judgement and depends on your baby's personality, others I have spoken with have tried this method and their baby cried for 45 minutes each sleep time till she was sick, not the method for them. It is hard to hear her cry, but if she is feeling better, sleeping better, eating better and growing and learning, then it is worth the 10 minutes of tears.

    1-0 out of 5 stars Scary book.
    As you read the reviews for this book that are positive, notice what they have in common- those that like the book like it because their babies are sleeping well at a very early age. Unfortunately, the tactics that Babywise encourages to obtain this result are actually dangerous. As a childrens therapist and as a parent, I find it sad that parents think that just because their babies stop crying and start sleeping this is automatically a good thing. I find it very disturbing that this book tells parents they are "teaching" their baby to sleep. What is actually happening is that the baby is traumatically frustrated to the point that it is too painful to continue to hope that their needs will be met so they repress their need and their natural defense mechanism to sleep kicks in. This can cause long term psychological problems. There are better ways to get some sleep. You can find ways to get sleep that aren't at your childs expense. I recommend Elizabeth Pantley's No Cry Sleep Solution or the Night Time Parenting Book by Dr. Sears.

    5-0 out of 5 stars Mom of a Happy Baby
    Babywise has worked like a charm with my daughter. We have been using the system since birth and she is now 4 months old. My daughter has been breastfeed only and weighs 14lbs, 12 ozs. She started sleeping through the night at 7 weeks (5 hours). My girlfriends come over and ask how does she go down for a nap so easily? I tell them Babywise and they say that they have heard bad things about the system. What could be bad about my daughter going down for a nap without a wimper and waking up happy. What could be bad about me having the confidence to know what my daughter needs at a specific time. NOTHING! I agree with the other reviewers who say you need to use common sense. My daughter has gone through 4 week long growths spurts and do you know what I did? I fed her when she was hungry. When she was done we went back to the regular schedule. I highly recommed this book, because you know what is coming, the baby knows what is coming, you plan your days accordingly and everyone is happy!

    1-0 out of 5 stars look for yourself on
    Please type in "ezzo" on babycenter's website for quotes of AAP and others about this book's techniques. Babycenter has dedicated a full article on this book. The Sears' books however continue to rank high in respect to your baby's needs. I follow the Sears' methods. Having a child isn't about you being inconvienced or not. They are blessings from God who take all the love and nurturing we can give them. I highly recommend the Sears books, from The Birth book, to The breastfeeding Book, and The Baby Book. They have the education and wisdom to write books on the subject. With my first I didn't understand what I know now and tried the crying methods and other scheduling tactics with her, and I really regret that now. With my second I use the attachment parenting technique with no regrets or guilt, and I know he is happy. ... Read more

    16. Baby Bargains: Secrets to Saving 20% to 50% on Baby Furniture, Equipment, Clothes, Toys, Maternity Wear, and Much, Much More!
    by Denise Fields, Alan Fields
    list price: $17.95
    our price: $12.21
    (price subject to change: see help)
    Asin: 1889392197
    Catlog: Book (2005-04-10)
    Publisher: Windsor Peak Press
    Sales Rank: 361
    Average Customer Review: 4.5 out of 5 stars
    US | Canada | United Kingdom | Germany | France | Japan

    Congratulations, you're expecting a baby!What you may not be expecting is all of the requisite gear you "need" to look after your dear bundle. Fear not. Denise and Alan Fields, authors of Bridal Bargains, are here to tell you what's super and what's silly, and how to find it at the best price. You'll learn all about how (and where) to shop for a crib and dresser (including how to get European styling at reasonable prices), what you need in bedding and what can be skipped (a hint: no baby requires the $200 quilt!), which clothing brands are safest and least expensive, and how to shop for monitors, toys, car seats, strollers, books, videos, and more. The authors have field-tested every major brand (and several of the minor ones), and they provide star ratings and annotations at the end of every chapter. A helpful feature in each chapter called "Wastes of Money" will steer you away from $35 Baby Air Jordans and frilly diaper stackers that match your bedding. If that's not enough, they offer a money-back guarantee: If the book doesn't save you at least $250 in baby expenses, they'll refund the price of the book. Well researched and written in a witty and comfortable tone, Baby Bargains should be required reading for every safety- and money-conscious parent-to-be.--Rebecca A. Staffel ... Read more

    Reviews (318)

    5-0 out of 5 stars Excellent broad coverage
    Provides both a succinct and detailed review of the essential baby products.If you are in a hurry they have excellent summary sections, if you want to complement your online research there are detailed reviews of various products.An excellent buy.

    5-0 out of 5 stars An absolute purchase!!!
    This book is worth buying! As a mom of twins, savings is ALWAYS on my mind! We used this book a ton the first year and also before they were born and then again when we went to purchase a new stroller. It's so worth looking at!

    5-0 out of 5 stars A Must Have!
    Not only was this book indespensible for our family before we had our first child, but I've gone back to it a number of times.For instance, we purchased an infant carrier for our daughter, but as she was outgrowing it, I returned to the book for advice on standard carseats.About the same time, we also purchased a highchair and new stroller (as we had opted for the stroller that was simply the frame for the carrier, rather than the large travel system).In all of our major purchases, we referenced Baby Bargains and we haven't been disappointed yet.We will be purchasing Toddler Bargains soon.All in all, a great resource for new parents!

    5-0 out of 5 stars Must-read for new parents!
    Being pregnant with my first child, it seems like getting ready for a baby is my part-time job. Between signing up for birthing and breastfeeding class, locating and interviewing pediatricians and whatnot, when do you have time to ensure you buy what you need and not waste money? Friends and relatives weigh in, and you can do your own research online, but it's STILL a lot to think about.

    So far some of the best advice is from my friend Kate, who has twin girls and recommended this book.I got it from Amazon last Monday and finished reading it three days later. I mean, I stayed up late reading it! Yesterday I walked into the monster Babies 'R' Us store with a plan of action and bought our crib with confidence.

    As a long-time Consumer Reports subscriber I was a bit skeptical this book could be better, but it is!!!It's thoroughly researched, concise, and written in a practical and conversational tone of voice that parents will appreciate. There are a lot of safety resources and tips as well as contact info for each manufacturer and sources for buying.Plus, the tips for finding online discounts and coupons are great -- I went to a few recommended sites and have already saved money on my new crib mattress.

    I can't imagine a better consumer guide for infant to toddler products. Buy this book, give it as a gift. It's a must-have before you go to the store.

    5-0 out of 5 stars These guys know what they're talking about!
    This book is FABULOUS.I was a first time mom and looking for a way to decipher the huge amount of baby products out there - some of which I wasn't sure what they were!This book has a chapter on all the major types of products you would need and is well-organized and indexed.

    It's kind of like a cross between Consumer Reports and your best friend.I would read and highlight the products that had gotten good reviews and then I have to admit to carrying it around with me when I went out to shop for things.Great advice on everything you will want to buy for your kiddo initially.

    They give good recommendations on everything from car seats to bedding to high chairs to babyproofing to diaper bags.They rate items for quality and let you know if more money buys you a better product or not.They also have a healthy perspective on the idea of what is "sufficient"!They give good info on things you might want to pass up or that you really don't need (but that someone will be happy to sell you!)

    They go thru maternity stuff too, so buy it well before you have the little one!

    I have followed Denise and Alan Fields since they wrote their first Bridal Bargains books.They have proceeded to document and provide excellent advice for all of life's major events (and purchases)!!!They now have a Toddler Bargains book for toddler stuff.AND Denise has co-authored Baby 411 with a pediatrician.It's a fabulous book also for advice on baby care.

    I think they're on version 6 of this book, so make sure you have the latest one.Can't recommend all their books enough! ... Read more

    17. Ready or Not, Here Life Comes
    by Mel Levine
    list price: $26.00
    our price: $17.16
    (price subject to change: see help)
    Asin: 0743262247
    Catlog: Book (2005-02-01)
    Publisher: Simon & Schuster
    Sales Rank: 507
    Average Customer Review: 5.0 out of 5 stars
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    Book Description

    Every parent wants to know, "What will he be like when he's in his twenties?" After decades of observing children grow into young adults, Dr. Mel Levine, nationally known pediatrician and author, addresses the question of why some youngsters make a successful transition into adulthood while others do not.

    In recent years, says Dr. Levine, we have experienced an epidemic of career unreadiness as too many young people begin what he calls "the startup years" unprepared for the challenge of initiating a productive life. Parents and schools often raise children in a highly structured world of overscheduled activities, meeting kids' demands for immediate gratification but leaving them unable to cope on their own. Instead of making a smooth transition into adulthood, many youngsters find themselves trapped in their teenage years, traveling down the wrong career road, unable to function in the world of work. These young people have failed, says Dr. Levine, to properly assess their strengths and weaknesses and have never learned the basics of choosing and advancing through the stages of a career.

    Dr. Levine urges that schools focus less on college prep (which, he points out, generally means "college admissions prep") and instead teach "life prep," equipping adolescents with what they will need to succeed as adults. He identifies these skills as falling within four growth processes, "the four I's": inner direction, or self-awareness; interpretation, or understanding the outside world; instrumentation, or the acquisition of mental tools; and interaction, or the ability to relate to other people effectively. It is these abilities that ensure a successful transition into the startup years of early adulthood. Parents, schools, and adolescents themselves can all work together to improve work-life readiness, and Dr. Levine shows how. He even offers advice for young adults who find themselves unable to navigate the world of careers.

    Insightful, wise, and compassionate, Ready or Not, Here Life Comes is a powerful commentary on our times and a book that can help adolescents and startup adults -- with an assist from parents and educators -- to spring from the starting gate of adulthood. ... Read more

    Reviews (5)

    5-0 out of 5 stars A Gem for Students, Educators, and Parents!
    Dr. Mel Levine makes some good points in describing why so many of today's young adults have trouble with the transition from the world of school to the world of work. For starters, Levine states that many of the skills needed for school may be different from the ones they will need during a career. For example, think of all the multiple-choice tests you may have taken in high school or at a university. I agree with Levine that these tests really don't prepare a student for anything important in the adult world.

    Levine also says that kids need to be more interested in the working lives of people. I think this is a great point. So many kids grow up idolizing sports stars or entertainers. Instead, they should try to make more connections with the adult world. Kids and students should focus on their feasible futures because the odds of making it in sports or entertainment are minute. It also talks about reading biographies of people you admire (to get an idea about how they navigated life). However, with technology and other reasons jobs are changing so fast that, as Levine notes, role models even within a family are an endangered species.

    A lot of the advice is very practical. For example, it helps to know what abilities you have, what you enjoy doing, where you see yourself in x amount of years, etc. If you know this, you will not make the mistake of just taking whatever job comes along. This could easily turn into being stuck in a job you hate after awhile. It is important to keep in mind that a willingness to start way down and climb way up is, of course, the American Dream.

    Bottom Line: It is a great/essential/interesting read for educators, parents, and students.

    5-0 out of 5 stars Critical, practical look at preparing young people for life
    Levine takes a hard look at today's youth and how they're being prepared for life in the real world by parents and teachers alike. His all-too-true allegations about young people being prepared to be students rather than real-life workers is all too true. College and college prep programs prepare one for four years in a classroom, but not necessarily for a true career. Learning about a career and actually working in it are two different things, and Levine recognizes this difference with sound advice as to how to prepare for both. Highly recommend for educators, students, and their parents.

    4-0 out of 5 stars Author interview on Diane Rehm show, 2/4/2005
    The Author was interviewed on the Diane Rehm show, 2/4/2005.
    Sounds very practical and with good ideas.

    5-0 out of 5 stars Author of Survival Meditations for Parents of Teens
    As a therapist working primarily with teens and families,I've often felt that the transition from college to work is one of the most overlooked areas in research and writing. Finally a book that helps us prepare our teens for the world of work. I found out about this book by reading Time Magazine's article on kids in their twenties living with parents (a phenomenon all over the world, apparently!)This is a wonderful book, a much needed contribution.

    5-0 out of 5 stars Another Winner
    I read "A Mind at a TIme" by Dr. Levine and my relationship with my son changed for the better. I then read "Behavior Coaching" by Dr. Scott Hall and experienced an immediate improvement in my son's behavior through the application of the step-by-step plan in that book. I just got and finished reading "Ready or Not, Here Life Comes" by Dr. Levine and I am thrilled, excited by what I learned in this new book.

    "Levine argues that telling a student he is learning disabled or has attention deficit disorder is not very helpful" sounds like common sense right? Then why do so many others give the opposite advice or none at all.

    "He preaches the virtues of helping kids understand their strengths and weaknesses as part of understanding the way learning works." This is the most helpful thing that I learned from reading Dr. Levine.

    Recommended: "A Mind at a Time" by
    Mel Levine, "Behavior Coaching" by Scott Hall ... Read more

    18. 1-2-3 Magic: Effective Discipline for Children 2-12
    by Thomas W. Phelan Ph.D.
    list price: $14.95
    our price: $10.17
    (price subject to change: see help)
    Asin: 1889140163
    Catlog: Book (2003-10)
    Publisher: ParentMagic
    Sales Rank: 874
    Average Customer Review: 4.25 out of 5 stars
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    Book Description

    Addressing the task of disciplining children ages 2 through 12 without arguing, yelling, or spanking, this program offers easy-to-follow steps to immediately manage troublesome behavior with reason, patience, and compassion. Parents and teachers learn how to encourage and respect children's growing independence with 10 strategies for building self-esteem. Also discussed are the three most important qualities for parents or teachers to exhibit in order to foster competence in kids. Tips are included on how to prevent homework arguments, make mealtimes more enjoyable, conduct effective family meetings, and encourage children to start doing their household chores. This award-winning program discusses the importance of establishing and maintaining a home or classroom with fair and consistent discipline. This revised edition includes suggestions on how to avoid over-parenting, build children's social skills, and apply the program within mental health agencies and classrooms. ... Read more

    Reviews (114)

    5-0 out of 5 stars Works for ADHD
    This book saved me alot of grief with my son who has ADHD. What's magic is twofold:
    1. A parent is reinforced in his or her own rightful parental power to make decisions and to discipline their child. Learning that you don't have to argue with your child saves alot of unneccesary stress.
    2. It's amazing how such a benign consequence to a child's behavior could be so powerful--the child being sent to their room (full of toys and books) for just 5 minutes. But the magic occurs because of the consistency--that is the key.

    Strategies for start behaviors (things you want kids to do, like pick up their shoes), and stop behaviors (things you want kids to stop doing) are discussed, all based on the 1-2-3 go to your room. My son was a toughy--still is, but at 13, I'm going to read Phelan's adolescent book.

    This methods in this book are kind to the child, and kind to the parent--stops the yelling, arguing, hitting. Some of the behavioral methods I tried before required lots of record keeping, charts, etc. (and didn't work nearly as quickly and well), and this is so exquisitely simple. I also recommend the tape, as it demonstrates some common househould scenarios.

    5-0 out of 5 stars There Is No One Single Magic Trick For Effective
    Tom Phelan has indeed written a sensible, easy to read, discipline book that clearly explains his 1-2-3
    Magic theory designed for parents of tots-gradeschoolers. As a veteran preschool teacher, many of the parents of my own students over the years have found success with Phelan's techniques. However, some conscientious but frustrated moms and dads admitted to me that they found themselves between a rock and a hard place as they reached '2 and 3 quarters', '2 and 7 eighth's', etc ...unable to change the behavior of their sometimes annoying, disrespectful, uncooperative kids. Not to
    worry...Although your career as a magician may fall short of your goal, you are not doomed to be labeled an ineffective disciplinarian. It has been my experience, both as a parent and teacher, that there is no one single discipline approach that works every time, for every kid in every family. Although I
    totally respect 'the count' in this book, I strongly encourage parents to seek out an assortment of strategies that for whatever reason might be a better fit at a particular moment, in respect to age, personalities and parenting style. If you have young kids (2's, 3's 4's,and 5's) who are literally driving
    you towards your wits' end with such things as their bad words, 'I hate you's', hitting, whining, parent deafness, tantrums, lying, 'gimmes', mealtime and bedtime refusals, I suggest checking out "The Pocket Parent", a quick read A-Z guide, loaded with hundreds of fast answers and tips to try. The bullets of information (called 'sanity savers') are written
    exclusively for preschool behavior and are based on a solid philosophy that maintains a real sense of concern for the needs and feelings of both children and their parents. I highly recommend both books for a variety of workable discipline options that parents (and preschooler teachers) can choose from while trying to remain sane in the process!

    5-0 out of 5 stars Happy Children Happy Parents
    Dr. Thomas W. Phelan is an expert on child discipline and Attention Deficit Disorder. He is a registered Ph.D. clinical psychologist and is also the author of many helpful parenting books. In this amazing book, he presents three steps to change the negative behavior and reinforce positive behavior in the future. The Index provides you with a way to quickly find the most pertinent subject you are dealing with right now.

    The Contents include:

    Straight Thinking - A section about how to stop negative behavior and start good behavior. He also presents the two biggest discipline mistakes.

    Controlling Obnoxious Behavior - What to do when negative behavior occurs in public. How to handle tantrums and pouting.

    No Child Will Thank You - Deals with serious offenses and the six kinds of testing and manipulation.

    Encouraging Good Behavior - 7 Start Behavior Tactics, Cleaning Rooms, Mealtimes, Homework, The Family Meeting.

    Strengthening Your Relationship - Your Child's Self-Esteem, Overparenting, Affection and Praise, Active listening.

    I was amused by the information on "parental temper tantrums." I've seen parents yell at their kids and seen children reel from the verbal abuse. Then I've seen parents lovingly talk to a child about their behavior. Guess which works? How would you want to be treated? If frustration has reached the level where parents are yelling and kids are crying their eyes out daily, something must not be working. This book provides excellent advice and a three-step solution to every problem. Phelan has an interesting take on spankings and he makes an excellent point or two on page 53. He suggests that parents avoid the Talk-Persuade-Argue-Yell-Hit routine.

    There is a "how to use this book" section and there are times when psychological evaluation and counseling may be in order.

    The 1-2-3 techniques to end arguing are just brilliant. Although, I've seen a parent count 1, 2, 3, and a child is just ignoring the routine. It seems there has to be a negative result that is consistently imposed, like a time out. Some children might enjoy a time out, so that is also a factor to consider. I loved spending time in my room. Hey, there were books there! I also remember sitting in the bathroom and screaming: "You will not spank me, I did nothing wrong." I was actually telling the truth and I remember all the times I was punished when I didn't do anything wrong but was accused by the actual perpetrator.

    Parents have to be pretty aware of their children's character to sort out these types of problems. I grew up in the "you did something wrong, you get spanked" no other choices world. Often I would have liked to have been given a second chance or had a conversation about the event. I remember my absolute horror when a child was spanked in my presence when I was a child. I feel that spanking can be abuse when it is used incorrectly. Often it does seem to be a result of frustration and I do have to say that I've seen parents use different "calm" methods and they seem to have better results. And what is the whole "Here, hug me because I love you, no matter that I just spanked the heck out of you routine?" I was only happy my brother got spanked once. When he violently poked me with a large pin. LOL I haven't let him forget that I remember that.

    So, what if?

    Your child won't stay in the time-out room...
    Your kids go nuts when you are on the phone...
    A child wrecks the time-out room...
    Your child doesn't want to apologize...

    Ahh, and then onto the lovely topic of "sibling rivalry, tantrums and pouting." Then onto badgering, tempers and threats. What do you do if your child says they are running away from home? What if a child attacks a parent?

    This book also gives parents information about Oppositional Defiance and Conduct Disorder. There is also a list of major, medium and minor consequences. Just because a child is on the phone after a time they shouldn't be doesn't mean you should ground them for a month. Maybe a fine or chores would work. The problem can then be solved in a day and the child can start to practice more positive behavior.

    I think these techniques also work on adults when having an argument or when one person is being unreasonable. One of my friends just told me that you deserve what you put up with. So, I think that moving in a positive direction is always in order. There are ways to stand up for yourself without violence. This book teaches you all the techniques that have worked for parents and I can recommend this book to teachers, all parents, grandparents, babysitters and anyone who is looking after children or knows a child. So, this book is for everyone!

    I'd almost go as far as to say this would make a wonderful baby shower gift!

    5-0 out of 5 stars It will seem like magic
    Part of what makes Phelan's now very well known system work is that, whether one is cooking rice or disciplining children, it's essential to have a method, the simpler the better. All effective methods rely first and foremost on how they guide us away from reactive and emotionally-based behaviors and keep us on the proper path. Note well that Phelan's method requires the parent to understand that "Too Much Talking" and "Too Much Emotion" by the parent will lead to failure. Understanding why this is so is the key to understanding why Phelan's method is so effective.

    Usually parents get caught in the trap of explaining or justifying their prerogative. This can be done once: clearly I am the adult, and not only is it my responsibility to guide your development, but, because I have been where you are and understand your situation--mainly frustration at not getting what you want--it is I, not you, who are in a position to make the right decisions. Period. Indeed, this doesn't even have to be said once. Children understand, with or without realizing it, that Mom and Dad know better than they do.

    So any sort of "talk" is not only superfluous but may obscure what has happened, namely that the child has done something wrong and the parent wants it stopped. Furthermore, if you talk, the child talks and the lesson is diluted.

    Even worse is for the parent to get emotional about disciplining the child. It's your job, do it and don't get worked up about it because discipline is just a technique in the larger socialization process. If you allow yourself to become emotional, you muddy up the waters and detract from the business at hand.

    Phelan's 1-2-3 Magic technique works and is easy to learn and implement. If you are an ineffective disciplinarian, this book will literally change your life. My daughter and son-in-law use this method and I can tell you without it they would be foundering about, and their ability to guide my grandsons would be weakened. Never forget however that what children respond to is fairness, even-handedness, and the love that is implicit in a sincere desire to help them become fully realized human beings. Or, as Phelan succinctly puts it: "...children respond because they know Mom or Dad means business." (p. 50)

    Just a quick word on this "meaning business." If you say "that's two and a half" and "that's two and three-quarters," you are NOT getting down to business. You are demonstrating that you aren't sure yourself that you are right while proving that you are unreliable. Phelan warns against this all too common parental trap.

    Note too that there is no corporal punishment involved in Phelan's method. In today's world of the "professional parent" (as I like to dub my daughter and son-in-law) it is axiomatic that one does not hit or slap a child. But why? Of course violent behavior only begets violent behavior, but more than that, not hitting protects the parent from going too far. Hitting leads to more hitting. But if one never hits to begin with there is no danger of escalation. Only foolish and lazy parents hit their children. Phelan's method is an extension of this wise understanding.

    The devil is in the details of parenting, you say? Yes, and in this very well written (the phrase "clear as a bell" definitely applies), you will get the details of how the method is applied in many situations and circumstances. Wondering how to put the child in "time out" at the supermarket? Phelan goes into that. What about the difference between "stop that!" and "do that"? It's one thing to get a child to stop doing something wrong. It's quite another to get the child to actually do something that needs to be done, like clean her room or do her homework. Phelan explains the difference between these two problems and how to deal with them.

    Here's a another question: should the child have to apologize for what he did? Phelan warns that "many apologies are really exercises in hypocrisy." (p. 54) The child is forced to apologize for hitting his sister, but he really feels that the apology is just part of the punishment. She hit him first and she deserved it. The fine points of the murky psychology of retaliation must wait for the older child to emerge. Right now, you just stop the hitting, period.

    Finally, what to do in public? Phelan devotes an entire chapter to that, and basically he says you have to bite the bullet and realize that the future character of your child is more important than any embarrassment you may experience from "counting" your child in public. Once you let the child know that being in public is no different than being at home, the child will behave. However if you let it be known that you are "vulnerable" when you're out in public, the child will immediately take advantage. Children love to test. They need to test. That's how they figure out their world.

    Part of the reason this book is so polished and Phelan's methods so precise is that "over the many years of developing" his program parents have taught him how to handle tricky situations so that he now has it all covered. Also clear is Phelan's understanding of children and their needs, and the obvious affection he has for them. As he says (after you have initially explained that you are going to begin using the 1-2-3 counting method): "Expect the kids to sit there and look at you like you've just gone off your rocker." (p. 68)

    Bottom line here is: if you are not aware of Phelan's very effective technique, do yourself and your children a favor and get this book.

    5-0 out of 5 stars No more yelling!
    This discipline method worked beautifully with my children. I also had my husband and babysitter read the book so we were consistent. My kids felt empowered beacuse they learned to control their behavior. I stopped yelling and bribing. I have sent this book to 4 or 5 families who were having discipline issues at home. ... Read more

    19. Raising Your Spirited Child: A Guide for Parents Whose Child Is More Intense, Sensitive, Perceptive, Persistent, Energetic
    by Mary Sheedy Kurcinka
    list price: $13.00
    our price: $9.75
    (price subject to change: see help)
    Asin: 0060923288
    Catlog: Book (1992-09-01)
    Publisher: Perennial
    Sales Rank: 1504
    Average Customer Review: 4.65 out of 5 stars
    US | Canada | United Kingdom | Germany | France | Japan

    Recently, temperament traits have come to the forefront of child development theory. In Raising Your Spirited Child, Mary Sheedy Kurcinka's first contribution is to redefine the "difficult child" as the "spirited" child, a child that is, as she says, MORE. Many people are leery about books that are too quick to "type" kids, but Kurcinka, a parent of a spirited child herself and a parent educator for 20 years, doesn't fall into that trap. Instead, she provides tools to understanding your own temperament as well as your child's. When you understand your temperamental matches--and your mismatches--you can better understand, work, live, socialize, and enjoy spirit in your child. By reframing challenging temperamental qualities in a positive way, and by giving readers specific tools to work with these qualities, Kurcinka has provided a book that will help all parents, especially the parents of spirited children, understand and better parent their children. ... Read more

    Reviews (95)

    2-0 out of 5 stars Needs more common sense
    I liked the positivity of this book. I think all children should be viewed as special and cherished for their individuality. In this way, the book is great. However, it is poor advice to tell parents who are at their wits end with their child to accept the behaviour and everyone else needs to adapt and accept the behaviour rather than modify the child's behaviour. Spirited children are more difficult to parent as all of us with these little ones know. However, Ms. Sheedy is advising to give up and let the child rule the home. This may be okay if it were only the parent's lives who were being affected. The rest of the world is not going to be as compassionate and understanding toward the child as parents are. It is more appropriate to talk about patience, love and consistency when disciplining. While it's true that these children are not displaying outrageous behaviour intentionally, it is unacceptable behaviour nonetheless. When spirited children enter the school system, their classmates and teachers are not going to read this book. They will simply not accept the child with the negative behaviour and the child will suffer as a result. It is our jobs as parents to alter the behaviour, since we can not alter the world for our children.

    5-0 out of 5 stars this "owner's manual" rewired my neural net
    I wish Mary Sheedy Kurcinka's _Raising Your Spirited Child_ had been around when I was growing up. In just 300 pages, this "owner's manual" for dealing with intense, sensitive children completely rewired my neural net.

    A parent comes to most books expecting to learn how to influence and control their child - their health, their relationships, their behavior. Kurcinka turns this formula on its ear: instead of "how-to", the parent gets "how-they" and "who-are" and "what-if?". In place of generalizations about children's motivations, Kurcinka presents a glittering array of nuanced traits which converge like colored lights to form the white light of an individual character.

    The book is filled with the unexpected: the words of other parents driving this highway, a wide-ranging sampling of current theories of child development culled for relevance to the spirited child, parables, poetry, and most of all - humor. She doesn't claim to have all the answers and suggests that you as a parent forgive yourself for not having them either.

    This book was published the year my "spirited child" was born. I wish I'd gotten a copy on its publication date; instead, I endured two-and-a-half years of frustration and guilt. I'm lucky. It wasn't even written when my mother had her "spirited" child, me

    5-0 out of 5 stars The best child care book I've read
    I'm the mother of 3 girls, and this is the most useful book I've read. While some reviewers take issue with the methods Kurcinka advocates in dealing with the spirited child, I found it incredibly valuable just for the better attitude it gave me towards my daughter. Just to realize she wasn't the only child who threw fits about her socks was so helpful! I went from honestly not being able to enjoy much time with my daughter because of the constant screaming and drama, to being able to respond in a constructive way and eliminate many of the battles before they began. It got me looking at my daughter's behavior in a different, more positive way, and realizing that the point of being a parent isn't just to get your child to obey you, but to know how to avoid the conflict in the first place when you can!

    5-0 out of 5 stars Absolutely the best
    The is hands-down the best book on raising your spirited child.

    1-0 out of 5 stars Should be how to raise a wimpy pacifist and avoid meat
    Well I got to thirds of the way through it and had to through it across the room. The author is one of these feminist that only uses the famine pronoun. For me it makes for an awkward read and tells me that the intended audience is exclusively female.

    I love the examples that author makes with such surprise that she actually learned something about dealing with their child from her husband. How could a man know anything about raising a child..

    Finally, the total PC BS teaching that children should NEVER hit each other.. that it is just a half step away from nuclear war.. Should be called "How to raise a wimpy pacifist and avoid meat"..

    FLING.. ... Read more

    20. Clark Smart Parents, Clark Smart Kids : Teaching Kids of Every Age the Value of Money
    by Mark Meltzer, Clark Howard
    list price: $14.95
    our price: $10.17
    (price subject to change: see help)
    Asin: 0786887796
    Catlog: Book (2005-05-11)
    Publisher: Hyperion
    Sales Rank: 3510
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    Book Description

    Winning financial wisdom aimed at teaching kids real-world money skills.

    From the bestselling author of Get Clark Smart comes this valuable new resource enabling parents to pass "Clark Smart" skills for saving and spending wisely on to kids of every age.

    Clark Howard -- bestselling author, money-saving expert, and host of the popular syndicated radio program The Clark Howard Show -- is back with more of his winning financial wisdom, this time aimed at helping parents teach kids real-world financial skills for today and every day. Parents of children of all ages -- from elementary school through high school, college, and beyond -- will benefit from Clark's sound, uncomplicated advice across a comprehensive range of topics. In Clark Smart Parents, Clark Smart Kids, he addresses everything from allowances -- when and how much to give -- to teaching teens about credit cards and navigating the purchase of a first car -- how to get it, pay for it, and insure it -- to saving for college, paying off loans, staying out of debt, and much more!

    A hands-on workbook section that parents and kids can use together will help assess personal spending and saving styles as well as show ways to improve them. It's all here in this must-have resource for parents. ... Read more

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